Mr. and Mrs. Addy
Title: Mixed Up Marriages: Mr. and Mrs. Addy
Author: Maeve Bran
Summary: Zack Addy and Willow find themselves in an interesting situation in a Hell dimension.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or Angel or Bones.
Notes: This is complete CRACK and not part of any series I have going. It is the fifth of five stories that tie together for the Marriage Law Ficathon
The group continued to try to find a way back home but had no joy. They were still trekking daily to the spot where they had all landed but the portal did not open again even though they were there at the same time. Spike and Angela were joining with the others in the search but did not have much to contribute to the solution to the problem. Another month passed in much the same as the other three had. Booth and Buffy had now been stuck for four months, and Buffy was three months pregnant.
One day, on their trek the blue swirly thing happened yet again, and out tumbled Willow Rosenberg and Zack Addy, the last of the group who had been together in Los Angeles. The others were almost able shout a warning when Willow reached down and grabbed both of Zack's arms to help him to his feet. The warning hadn't come in time but had served as an alert to the ever-vigilant field hands. The pesky field hands did their duty and rushed Willow and Zack to the altar.
Willow and Zack had only been in the dimension a couple of hours and they were already married. Willow did not think this was a very fair arrangement. But she remembered what Buffy had managed to tell her in the brief time they had been left alone to get ready for the ceremony.
"Just go with it. It is either marry or prison. If you're in prison, none of us can leave until you're free and we may only get one shot at going home," Buffy had explained.
Willow had managed to mutely nod her understanding of the situation.
"Willow, there is one other thing that they won't mention until after the ceremony. Your quarters will be luxurious, but watched by video cameras to make sure you aren't entering a marriage of convenience. We aren't sure how vigilant they are in watching the video feed, so you have to make a good show of it," Buffy had explained further.
"Obviously, you and Booth have been making a very good show of it," Willow had replied, indicating her best friend's tummy which had extended noticeably in pregnancy. Buffy had just smiled in reply.
"We'll talk tomorrow. Us married ladies," Buffy had said as she squeezed Willow's hand encouragingly. Then the maid had come to usher Willow to the wedding.
That had been a half hour ago. Now Willow stood draped in white from head to toe staring at her husband, Zack. Willow had given up on a white wedding when Oz had left her five years ago and she had started dating women. It was an odd thing, after being gay for four and a half years to be left alone with a very male husband. She hoped she remembered where everything went because Zack was looking very intimidated and nervous. He couldn't be much older than she was. She wondered what had Zack quaking in his boots.
Finally, Willow reached up and removed the veil and then the gloves. "That's better. I feel more like me now, not some dress up doll," Willow said to fill the silence. Then she laughed a little. "Either you have to talk or I will."
"Uh. I don't know what to say. I've never been in this position before. Or anything remotely like it," Zack said.
"What, you've never fallen into a Hell dimension and been forced to marry a lesbian before?" Willow asked with a hint of sarcasm.
"No. Wait, did you say lesbian?" Zack asked, startled. "You've never ... With a man, I mean?"
Willow smirked. "I have. I did have a boyfriend in high school. But after he left I fell in love with Tara. She died a couple of years later. I mourned her, then I dated Kennedy for awhile, but we broke up a few months ago. That's it my entire history. How about you?"
"There have been a few girls. None that lasted more than once in bed." Zack blushed thinking of Naomi in paleontology, who refused to talk to him after their one encounter.
"Okay, so we'll both be fumbling around. I think we should get to it sooner rather than later. Putting it off won't make what we have to do any easier," Willow suggested as her face turned the color of her hair.
"Um. Okay." Zack whispered, blushing just as hard. He took a step towards her and awkwardly put his arms around her. She stretched up and kissed him. They managed to strip each other of clothes between kisses and wind up on the bed. Both seemed to remember what to do.
The next morning, Willow slipped out of bed with out waking Zack. She went in search of Buffy and found her two doors down looking for her. The two went into the living room of the Booths' suite. Buffy had coffee and breakfast laid out on the coffee table waiting for them.
"Uh, so where is the hunky husband?" Willow asked, more as an opening line than really wanting to know.
"He s out taking his morning jog. You can take the man out of the army but you can't take the army out of the man," Buffy explained. "So you think Seeley is a hunk, do you?"
"No more than I thought Angel was a hunk, which I did. What ever else I thought of Angel, I always thought he was good looking," Willow replied.
"So how are things with you and... Zack is it?" Buffy inquired, curious how her friend was reacting to present circumstances.
"He's fine. A little shy and hesitant but geeky. We get along fine," Willow answered.
"No weirdness with him being male?" Buffy asked.
"Buffy, that is none of your business," Willow said outraged. Buffy laughed and turned the conversation to other things.
Soon the others started drifting in to share breakfast. The very last to enter was Booth, who was leading Zack with him. Booth sat on the couch beside Buffy. Zack sat on a chair beside Willow's. Angel and Brennan sat on the other couch. Spike sat in a chair at the other end of the coffee table from Willow and Zack. Angela lounged on the arm of Spike's chair. Illyria sat in the remaining chair while Hodgins sat at her feet on the floor. It was an interesting group, but what made it really interesting was the way they were paired up. Some like Buffy and Booth made sense but the pairing of Illyria and Dr. Hodgins seemed rather unlikely to Willow.
The group talked about their predicament in depth. Now that all ten of them were here, they figured they would eventually find a way out. They decided to keep looking but that since time passed differently here that they had a while before anyone would be looking for them.
"Buffy, you have been missing for about eight hours and you have been here for... what, four months?" Willow said.
"Yeah, four months," Buffy agreed.
"So eight hours translates to a month every two Earth hours." Zack said following where his wife was leading. "It was Friday afternoon, about 5 pm when Willow and I fell through the portal. Dr. Goodman wasn't looking to hear from us until first thing Tuesday with the holiday."
"Right, that was eighty-eight hours which translates to forty-four months," Hodgins said.
"Dawn wasn't expecting to hear from me till about then either. After about noon on Tuesday, Dawn will alert Giles and then the Council will work on the problem," Buffy said wearily. Four years was a long time to wait.
"So what do we do?" asked Angela. "Four years is a long wait. Who knows how many children would be born in that time."
"Children? You mean more than just Buffy's kid?' Willow said shocked.
"Definitely. This place has something in the water. Dr. Brennan is pregnant too," said Spike. "I mean there has to be something if the great poof over there can spawn." Spike indicated Angel on that last.
"Watch it, William, or you might find yourself a soon to be father too," growled Angel.
Willow pondered that for a bit. There must be some thing that was making this dimension rather fertile if vampires could have children. She wondered just how many would be returning when they left. They would have some explaining to do when they got back to Earth.