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Joe's FFA Collection

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: Not the most original title, but it'll do for now. Any FFAs that aren't part of the other stories. Just in: Satsu/Hajime Ichinose (Gatchaman Crowds)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Multiple Pairings > Ficlet Collections - FFA(Moderator)JoeHundredaireFR184159,307633686,44824 Aug 0624 Aug 13Yes

Scandalous Scholastics (Luna/Willow/Kennedy)

Title: Scandalous Scholastics
Author: JoeHundredaire (joehundredaire@tthfanfic.org)
Rating: R/FR18.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the owner of the Potterverse, and all the related little spawn running around Hogwarts (and Hogwarts itself). Never quite figured out who owns the Buffyverse, but I know for a fact that it's not me. Let's just go with 'not mine' and leave it as that.
Summary: Luna is always late for lunch, learning dirty little lessons from them…
Joe's Note: LEGENDARY BABY!



'And I can hear them talking in the hallways,
I'm always late for lunch,
Learning dirty little lessons from you.
Now my name is on the lips,
Of every cheerleader in my school.
Now I'm a legend in the locker room…
Legendary baby!'




     "You know, if I didn't know better I'd think something was going on between you and the Defense teacher."

     "Oh?"

     "You've fought Death Eaters, Luna. Twice. And you came out alive both times, which is more than a lot of adult witches and wizards can say. You don't need extra tutoring and remedial lessons. If I didn't know that our professors were a couple, I'd swear something inappropriate was going on."

     "Good thing then, Ginny, because I know the blibbering humdinger population of the school is on the rise and I hear they don't like swearing."

     Ginny Weasley let out a little growl and pounded her fist against the table as Luna Lovegood serenely continued to prepare sandwiches from the wide assortment of foods available on the tables of the Great Hall, not at all harried even though most of their classmates had finished before Luna had even rushed in, hair ruffled but untroubled by her late arrival. "If you won't tell me, I'll find out what's going on by myself."

     Nodding, Luna finished making the four identical sandwiches and began to devour them with a ferocity that rivaled Ron at his worst. "Mmmkay." With a sandwich in each hand, she only paused for a drink when one was finished before grabbing a replacement. "Let me know how that goes. I hear Father is looking for a new reporter. You could apply for the job if you like investigating things."

     "You know I tell you all my secrets." Ginny decided a new tactic was in order, since the previous approach (or complete lack thereof) hadn't panned out. "Why can't you trust me enough to tell me why you're spending so much time with the professors?"

     Letting out an indelicate snort that sent… Merlin only knew what… shooting out of her nose, Luna turned to grab a pair of apples from the fruit tray. "You mean like how you told me you were dating Daphne Greengrass earlier this year because you thought it would make Harry jealous?"

     Ginny winced. "Err…"

     "I found out when someone posted a picture of you two kissing on the board in the common room for everyone to admire, Ginevra." Luna bit into one apple and glared over it the redhead. "Oh yes, you tell me everything. Now, would you like to continue your badly thought-out guilt trip or may I finish lunch in peace?"

     Scowling, Ginny stood up from the Ravenclaw table and grabbed her bag. "Fine. I have an investigation to start." And she would find out what was going on, even if it took her the rest of the year. Harry and his friends weren't the only ones who could solve a mystery, damnit!

     Hmm. Although Hermione might come in handy. And the Map. Okay, maybe she'd just tell Harry and let them do it for her…



     Lurking in the shadows of the classroom, she waited for her prey to arrive. Even though she couldn't take advantage of any of the cloaking and disguise spells that her fellow professor was teaching Luna, her own skills more than made up for it. Hopefully.

     Right on time, the door creaked open and Luna slipped inside before shutting it and firing off two different locking spells. The blonde looked around quietly as she shrugged off her outer robe, then peeled off her grey uniform sweater and tie as well. This was too established a routine for either of them to ever truly get the drop on her, but maybe if she was lucky…

     Charisse Kennedy, Kennedy to her friends, pulled a dagger out of the waistband of her pants and lunged at Luna. She almost thought she'd finally gotten the drop on the blonde, only for Luna to duck under the attack and grab Kennedy's wrist. "We meet again at last. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I am the master."

     Grimacing at the too-familiar quote (note to self: keep Luna away from Andrew at all future gatherings), Kennedy drew another dagger and slashed at Luna's arm, forcing the blonde to release her. "Funny, Loony."

     "You didn't reply to quote right." Luna pouted even as she drew her wand from behind her ear. "I'm not going to keep sparring until you do." Kennedy charged and bounced off an invisible barrier as Luna quickly incanted a shield. "Say it. Saaaay it."

     Kennedy sighed and put her hands on her hips. "You're lucky you're cute, you know that right?" Luna nodded and she sighed again. "Only a master of evil, Darth."

     "Thank you." Luna flicked her wand twice and Kennedy grunted as each dagger was torn from her grip, then the blonde dropped her wand and tackled her. Kennedy did her best to roll with the attack, wrapping her hands around Luna's wrists and pinning the smaller girl beneath her. "Hmm. I'm not sure that worked the way I wanted it to…"

     No, generally being pinned was what happened a few seconds before the vampire bit you to death. Kennedy shook her head as she felt herself slipping back into instructor mode. "Well, you surprised me and it'd probably work with vampires and some weaker demons. But other Slayers and demons with equal or greater strength… you're much better off trying to combine your strength, speed, and any weapon you might have. After all…"

     Luna cocked her head to the side before wiggling one thigh up to rub between Kennedy's legs. Sliding it back and forth, she smiled as Kennedy shivered. "Wait, no. It did work the way I wanted to." Rather abruptly, Kennedy found herself rolled over and the next thing she knew, Luna was looming over her. "Yep. Definitely worked."

     "Mmmmfuck." Kennedy bucked and wiggled underneath Luna, although most of her struggle was focused on rubbing herself harder against the thigh still pressed tight between her legs. "Luuuna. You know we're supposed to keep the work and the play separate."

     Holding her hand out behind her, Luna summoned one of Kennedy's daggers and then neatly slashed the front of the brunette's shirt open. "We are. Shagging now, sparring later. That's separate."

     Kennedy opened her mouth to protest, but only a whine emerged as Luna shifted against her. That whine shifted into a loud moan as a pair of blunt teeth bit down hard on her neck. Her hands ran up and down Luna's back before sliding down to cup the blonde's ass and squeeze hard. "Fine, but you get to explain to Willow why we're starting without her."

     There was a muffled laugh against her neck and then a lap of a tongue before Luna leaned up. "I don't think either of us is going to have to explain anything. She's sitting on her desk watching us, after all."

     "What?!" Kennedy started struggling under Luna for real and the blonde obligingly slid off so she could sit up and look at the huge wooden desk at the front of their classroom. All she could see atop it was a stack of papers they still had to grade, and the pile of apples she and Willow were still getting from admirers who didn't get that grades were based on brains rather than food. "Where?"

     Luna hefted Kennedy's dagger again and then let it fly. It passed through a spot about two feet over the top of the desk, causing a squeak to emerge from the supposedly empty space and papers to scatter across the desk. "There."

     There was a ripple and a rather sheepish Willow appeared, pushing herself back up from her rather undignified sprawl on the desk. "You know, one of these days I'm going to remember you can see through all sorts of vision-fooling spells, Luna."

     "Yes, and until then you'll keep trying them." Luna stood up and then pulled Kennedy to her feet as well. "Why were you hiding?"

     Willow tried to give them a stern look, but that quickly failed when she blushed. "Iknowthingsgetsortof… intense… whenyoutwosparandsoIwaswonderingifthetwoofyouwouldstayincontrolifIwasn'there. AndIwaskindahopingyouwouldn't. BecauseIknowyou'rebothgentlerwhenI'minvolvedbutit'sreallyhotwatchingthetwoofyoubeallanimalistic…"

     It took Kennedy a moment to translate that from Willow to English: the redhead had been spying on them to see if Luna and Kennedy would follow the 'no playing unless it's all three of us' rule and secretly hoping they'd break it because she liked watching the two Slayers play together.

     And how the hell had she even ended up with that rule hanging over her anyways? Kennedy scowled She'd been with Willow before Luna even showed up! There was a twinge of pain as she moved her neck a little bit. Oh, right. Willow was obsessed with equality in relationships after her bout of memory rape with Tara, and Kennedy had tried to play alpha female with Luna and rather abruptly found herself dominated.

     Luna's large eyes blinked rapidly as she processed that one herself and then she grinned widely. "I see." That was all the warning Kennedy got before a hand came down on her ass hard enough to break a normal human's hip, although she got away with a loud smacking noise and a spike of pain. "Well, I believe I saw Professor Kennedy looking at a student inappropriately today during class. Since we can't take points away from her, maybe we can come up with something else as an acceptable punishment?"

     "Oh really?" Willow's eyes shifted to Kennedy and the brunette squirmed. Seriously, was it her fault that she was surrounded by hot schoolgirls who were only slightly younger than her? It was like putting a fat man in a Ben and Jerry's factory and expecting him not to drool over all the ice cream. "That sounds like a fair way of handling things. Kennedy? What do you think?"

     Given the sting in her left ass cheek and the way Luna's hand was squeezing the right, Kennedy had a very good idea what her punishment was going to be. And damn if it didn't make her want to drop her pants, bend over a desk, and beg for it. Wait a minute, hadn't she just been thinking that they were unreasonable for expecting her not to check out the students? When the hell had she ended up so sub?

     In the end, lust won out over pride for Kennedy. "I think I was naughty and naughty girls deserve to be punished." Hmm. Well, at least she hadn't ACTUALLY begged for it. That was worth something, right?

     "Yes they do." Willow waved her hand and Kennedy suddenly felt a cold breeze brush over her ass. Looking down, she found herself wearing the same skirt and white blouse as Luna, although Luna was probably… okay, Luna probably wasn't wearing panties either, but at least she had a bra on. "We should go somewhere private so we can discuss this punishment idea. The office?"

     Kennedy opened her mouth to reply but a hand slid up under her skirt and began to fondle her ass again. "Sounds perfect." Oh, right. Willow and Luna were plotting a bit of rough and tumble fun plus a spanking for Willow's amusement. Why would anyone ask her opinion?

     The hand slid further up under her skirt to the small of her back and Kennedy was propelled forward. She could feel the cold air of the castle against her now-bared ass and blushed a bit, mentally filling the desks behind her with students and picturing their reactions. They'd journeyed to Hogwarts because there was a new Slayer here, caught in an imploding magical society that seemed to stress power over responsibility. They'd agreed to become professors to teach the students how to survive the war that now raged between Voldemort and the Ministry. They'd come to help save the wizarding world from destruction the way they'd saved Earth as a whole from destruction in the past, a very noble goal indeed.

     Now, because of this oddly infectious little sixteen-year old blonde, both their lives had entered an entirely new phase. As much as Willow recognized this girl was younger than Dawn was, and both knew what they were doing could get them fired, neither could manage to do anything about it. Luna was part of their life now.

     Kennedy jumped a little as a second hand slid over her ass and she looked to her left to find Willow smirking at her. She shivered, knowing she was in for an intense experience. Hopefully, though, her ass would heal in time for her to sit normally at breakfast tomorrow…



     "There! See! I told you!" Ginny stabbed her finger at the map, pointing to where the dots for Professor Kennedy and Luna were practically overlapping, with Professor Rosenberg a short distance away. "That's what it looks like when Ron and Hermione snog. What do you think they could possibly be doing other than that?"

     Hermione sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Ginny, it's really quite clear that the two professors are very much in love with each other. Professor Kennedy teaches muggle martial arts to anyone who signs up for her extracurricular classes, and Luna is a part of all of them. Purebloods are generally not very physical to begin with, so why is it so unbelievable that Luna would need extra help if she's serious about improving her skills?"

     "Because she's Luna? The fact that she's even in the classes should be a sign that something weird is going on." Ginny looked to Ron and Harry for help, but neither seemed especially willing to contradict Hermione. "And weren't you the one who convinced Ron and Harry that Daphne and I were just studying all those times?"

     That elicited a blush from Harry, a glare and reddening ears from Ron, and a wince from Hermione. None of them had quite gotten over the fact that they'd missed all the signs of her relationship with the Slytherin seventh year until Ron and Hermione found them in a broom closet one night after curfew. Hermione sighed. "Well, I suppose…"

     Ron cut Hermione off, probably because he knew he'd end up having to deal with her own brooding all night if she was forced to admit she could even possibly be wrong about something. "Hey Harry, don't you have that spell from Professor Dumbledore? The one we can cast on a piece of parchment to see into another room in the castle?"

     "I don't think…"

     "Brilliant!" Harry cut Hermione off and pulled out his wand, leaning over to snag a spare piece of parchment from Hermione's schoolwork supplies. "If it means you can drop this so we can get back to brainstorming about the horcruxes… spectare spatium!"

     The surface of the parchment rippled like water and an image formed, showing the DADA professor's office. It took a minute for all the details to fill in and then their jaws dropped. "Wow…"

     "Seconded."

     "Best… spell… ever…"

     Entranced by the images on the parchment, it took a hit to each of them from Hermione to return to the real world. "We need to go tell Headmistress McGonagall what's going on." Ginny looked at the brunette blankly and doubted Ron or Harry looked any more coherent. "Between the professors and Luna?" Still a blank look. "It's wrong!"

     "Do we have to?"

     "RONALD WEASLEY!"

     "Okay, okay, fine." Ron didn't move away from his spot beside Harry, eyes dropping back to the parchment. "Can't we go tell her in a few minutes?"



     Leaning back in the plush chair, Willow's fingers moved in and out of herself slowly as she watched the tableau in front of her. Mmm. This was definitely the best idea she'd had since she'd brewed up the Polyjuice Potion for Kennedy so she could play out the fantasies she'd been having since meeting her vampiric doppelganger.

     There was just something really arousing watching Kennedy's bright red ass wiggle back and forth in the air as her head moved between Luna's thighs, the blonde's hand fisted in her hair to keep her in place. Willow had been rather overwhelmed by Kennedy's advances when they'd first met and still seemed to get steamrolled by the brunette whenever they had a difference of opinion. Maybe she just liked that someone was able to give Kennedy a taste of her own medicine?

     Or maybe she just had a thing for watching her girlfriend get spanked and then made to eat her other girlfriend out?

     Distracted by the show, Willow didn't even feel the tingle of magic against the wards surrounding her office. So, it came as a complete surprise to her when the door flew open and hit the stone wall with a large slam. "SWEET MERLIN!"

     "Eek!" Willow's hand shot out, her robe flying from a nearby chair into her grip so she could cover herself. Kennedy pulled herself out of Luna's tenacious grip and dove to the floor on the other side of the large desk they were laying on, head poking back up over the top to stare at the intruders. "Headmistress McGonagall! This isn't what it looks like!"

     The headmistress raised an eyebrow at the response and looked from Willow to Kennedy to Luna. "It would appear, Professor Rosenberg, that I have disturbed you and Professor Kennedy during intimate relations with Miss Lovegood. Which is strictly forbidden by the terms of your employment, if you've forgotten?"

     Willow looked at Kennedy.

     Kennedy looked at Willow.

     Luna just lay there, propped up on her elbows and looking completely unruffled by the new arrival.

     "…okay, so this is exactly what it looks like."
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