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Joe's FFA Collection

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: Not the most original title, but it'll do for now. Any FFAs that aren't part of the other stories. Just in: Satsu/Hajime Ichinose (Gatchaman Crowds)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Multiple Pairings > Ficlet Collections - FFA(Moderator)JoeHundredaireFR184159,307633686,46024 Aug 0624 Aug 13Yes

No Sex in the Champagne Room (Giles/Emma/Tessa)

Title: No Sex in the Champagne Room
Author: JoeHundredaire (joehundredaire@tthfanfic.org)
Rating: R/FR18
Pairings: Rupert Giles/Emma Frost (sorta)
Disclaimer: Emma Frost and the Hellfire Club belong to people in Marvel, who aren't me. And I’m not Joss Whedon or someone who might be able to legally make money off the Buffyverse. Not mine!
Summary: There is no sex in the champagne room. None.
Joe's Note: This is based on the "What Emma Didn't Know" history established in the recent Deadly Genesis mini-series.



Ladies and gentlemen of the G.E.D. class of 1999,
I have one piece of advice for you.
No matter what a stripper tells you,
There's no sex in the champagne room.
None.




     Rupert Giles sighed and tugged at the ruffles on the front of his shirt. Honestly, why the Hellfire Club insisted on using such a… crass… front end for their demonic business dealings was beyond him. Perhaps because a Chaos demon could stomp through without attracting any attention? He suspected one of the dancers (at least) was half-demon with some sort of pheromonal ability. The girls were good, but not good enough to attract the complete and downright worshipful attention the men in the room gave them.

     The effect seemed to radiate from a blonde near the left side of the stage and Rupert slowly began to work his way over to a seat near her. Strictly for research purposes, of course. She was… a very attractive woman, if you were into surgically-augmented women who were no more naturally blonde than his Slayer. Tilting his head to the side, Rupert studied her more closely and when he couldn't detect anything out of place with his eyes he shifted to see if he could sense anything magically. Nothing.

     Unfortunately, his attention didn't go unnoticed by the girl that Sebastian Shaw had sent to the club to attend to him for the evening. "Emma is a rather… magnificent specimen, is she not?" the dark-haired girl asked. "Would you like me to arrange some individual time for you with her?"

     Rupert turned to stare into his guide's blue eyes but she met his stare with an emotionless look. He honestly wasn't sure what to make of this 'Tessa'. She didn't even seem old enough to be allowed in an establishment like this, much less be a helper for an influential member of the Hellfire Club. Turning his attention back to the now-named woman, he pondered her offer. If he could meet with her long enough to determine what she was, he could alert the New York slayers to come and dispatch her if needed. "I do believe I would enjoy that."



     Emma Frost sighed as she stepped off the stage, glaring at the pale figure in black waiting for her. As hypocritical as it was, given her own use of her special abilities, she hated hearing a foreign voice in her head. Not to mention she flat out hated seeing Tessa. It meant her boss was up to something, and she hated being made aware of how far out of the loop she was. 'You rang?'

     'You have an extremely important guest in room three,' Tessa replied. She whirled without warning and started off down the hall, Emma cussing a bit as she struggled to keep up in her far less practical boots. 'Mister Shaw has me here to monitor the quality of his evening. My guest has requested time with you. Therefore, I shall be monitoring the quality of your performance this evening as well.'

     Suddenly, Emma was quite glad that she was behind Tessa so she could mouth the swears she didn't dare verbalize. She knew exactly what was supposed to happen between herself and a private guest, but had so far used her abilities to ensure she received maximum reward for minimum work. As in, absolutely no work. Now she would have to if she didn't want Shaw's pet to run off and report her. Shit.

     Emma followed behind as Tessa lead her into the proper room and sighed. The gentlemen was dressed in the same frilly, formal eighteenth century outfit as the rest of the men who came and went from the club. Next to him and Tessa, who was wearing a rather formal black gown, she felt positively naked. 'Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that they're fully covered and I'm standing here in white lingerie?' she mused.

     "Thank you for arranging this for me," the gentlemen said, never even looking at her as he stared at Tessa. "I'll be sure to inform Mister Shaw of how well you served me this evening." There was a brief pause that dragged out into a not-so-brief one and he cleared his throat. "You may go."

     Shaking her head, Tessa turned but did not leave the room. She did, however, close the door and lock it. "I'm afraid you misunderstand, Mister Giles. Mister Shaw desires for me to attend to you constantly this evening. I am not as well-trained as Emma, but I can join her in entertaining you if you wish or I can wait in the corner for her to finish."

     'Oh good God,' Emma thought, again thankful that her position made Tessa unable to see her face. She was actually blushing for the first time in recent memory. She was naked around the other girls backstage and was naked for the odd gentlemen in rooms like this when she actually did her job to ensure her skills didn't get rusty… but the thought of having to perform for this man with an equally naked Tessa was outside her realm of experience. 'Please tell me you're joking?' she asked Tessa.

     There was a hand on the bare skin of her back and Tessa stepped up next to her to await this Giles's decision. 'I'm afraid not,' she replied. 'I told you this was an important guest and I was told to monitor his evening. Mister Shaw didn't mention private dances releasing me from that task, thereof I will stay in the room.'

     Emma couldn't even keep up the pretense of being silent and at attention at that point, turning to look at Tessa. 'Yes, but did you have to offer to join in? He's male. If his choice is one naked woman or two naked women, I think we know what he's going to pick. Especially if he thinks you 'joining' me means this is going to have some sort of tawdry lesbian action…'

     Tessa too broke, turning to look meet her gaze. 'You assume there won't be.' Emma's jaw dropped at the statement and the barest smile graced Tessa's lips before her emotionless mask slid into place again. 'You can make gentlemen think you're giving them a good show, I imagine I can make YOU think you're having fun if this is a problem.'

     'You will NOT.' Emma shuddered at the thought of anyone messing around inside her head. Nobody would ever play with her mind… not if she had anything to say about it. 'Why did you even have to suggest that?'

     'This is not an ordinary private dance. Mister Giles is a MOST important guest of Mister Shaw from a MOST important organization,' Tessa answered, turning back to face the man. 'If he were to report back to Mister Shaw that we were… unhelpful… we likely would not be seen alive again. The Hellfire Club doesn't care about your personal issues. If the Council is not happy with you, the Club will not be happy with you and when the Club is not happy with you, your life expectancy drops. Dramatically.'

     Emma's already pale skin got closer to Tessa's chalky white pallor. 'So if he wants to see the two of us together and I don't want to die…'

     'You will ask him who he wishes to pleasure who, and then we will do everything in our power to make his wish a reality,' Tessa answered. 'Welcome to the life of a Hellfire girl.'

     "You may stay, Tessa." Lord, she'd forgotten Giles was even in the room with them, caught up in their discussion of what they might have to do to amuse him. "I'm actually thankful that you offered, because what I have planned would be even better with you here as well."

     Giving a quick curtsy, Tessa turned her back to Emma. "Unzip me," she commanded. Rather numbly, Emma reached up and lowered the fastener that was holding the younger girl's dress closed. It was really going to happen. She was going to have her first lesbian sexual experience and possibly be forced into a ménage à trois, all to amuse some gentlemen who had the power to end her life. The dress slid down Tessa's lithe body to pool at her feet, leaving her in a corset, thong, a garter belt, and fishnet stockings, all in black. Emma expected nothing less of a servant of Sebastian Shaw. "What do you desire, Mister Giles?"

     Emma chanced a look over at the older gentlemen and found… he was holding a pen and a small pad of paper? What the fuck? "Knowledge," he declared. "What species are you two?" Silence. "Emma has some sort of power that draws the gentlemen to her and you both appear able to communicate telepathically. I know several species of demon that have that power, most of them unfriendly. I need to know what you are, and whether you're a threat to the people of this city."

     Uh… huh. Here she was worrying that she was going to end up with her head between Tessa's thighs, and the gentleman only wanted to know what SPECIES she was. How silly of her. "Human," she snapped. "My mother is a human, my father is a human, I'm a human. The end."

     Giles just sighed and settled into a chair, leaning back and studying them. "Mister Shaw knows better than to hire demons," he mused. "Mostly because he doesn't like visits from my… associates. I'm sure he would be most interested in acquiring the information on my behalf, if you don't wish to tell me?"

     Emma's mind was racing as she debated how to handle the situation. She could wipe his mind of whatever suspicions he had and go about her normal modus operandi with Mister Giles… but that would expose her activities to Tessa. Tessa was too smart to believe she managed something so complicated without any problems on the first try. 'We need to wipe his mind,' Tessa blurted into her head. 'Now. And we'll need to give him some new memories. Shaw knows about me, but he doesn't know about you yet. I want to keep it that way.'

     No matter how much she wanted to ask what Tessa knew about her, how she knew it, and why she wanted to help her… Emma knew she didn't have time. Slamming into Giles's mind, she put him into a comatose state and began to ransack his mind. Every thought, memory, or suspicion about her powers or Tessa's was quickly removed. 'Now what? I think I can insert some memories to replace the missing ones…'

     'Get started then,' Tessa ordered, already stepping forward to rifle through the man's pockets. 'I'll check your work when you're done.' Pulling out his wallet, she removed a thick wad of bills before laying it back on his lap. Emma watched as she crossed the room, opening a box and removing a dagger. The money went into the box and the dagger was also lain on Giles's lap. 'Mister Shaw was selling him this tonight. The deal was going to be in this room anyways. Make sure you include that in his memories. He gave me money, I gave him the dagger. At the end of our dancing.'

     Emma's head shot up. 'Our what?'

     Rolling her eyes, Tessa took a seat in the chair across from their guest. 'You and I came into the room with him for a private dance, and there are a number of people who can ask him about it between here and the exit. If he doesn't remember getting world-class entertainment from at least you, he'll be suspicious.' Tessa's lips quirked into a smirk. 'As for the 'us' part… consider it a character and experience-building exercise.'

     'Fine, but I'm making sure he tips me well,' Emma replied. Reaching out, she snapped up the wallet before falling back into the chair… that already contained Tessa. Damnit. Shrugging, she wiggled a bit on the girl's lap as she rifled through his wallet. The man was tipping her VERY well, she decided. All ten thousand dollars worth of well. Pulling the thick wad of cash out, she split it in half and turned to Tessa. Blue eyes were glaring at her and Emma smirked. 'Don't be so negative, dear. You'll get frown lines.'

     Feeling a bit bold, Emma took half of the money and folded it in half before forcing the thick wad of bills into the cleavage created by Tessa's corset. 'This is how you're so successful as a private dancer,' Tessa realized. 'You use your powers to rob them.'

     Emma nodded and smiled. 'What are you going to do? Tell Shaw?' Boy, nearly having your life ended or your powers outed was a rush. She felt invincible, capable of anything. In fact… 'Anyway, who says we need to implant memories of us dancing together..?'



     Rupert strode out of the club with a smile on his face, whistling softly as he went. What a phenomenally productive evening. The Council now owned the ritual dagger that he'd come for, and he'd enjoyed some quality private time with two beautiful women. Life was good.

     As the faint strains of 'Rebel Yell' hit his ears, Rupert scowled. One of these days he was going to learn how to reprogram the infernal cell phone they made him carry. Opening it, he didn't even get to greet the caller before they started speaking. "Did you get it?"

     "Hello, Xander. How are you, Xander?" Sadly, even after eight years he'd yet to teach even the most basic manners to the young men and women who worked with him. After a moment of silence, Rupert rolled his eyes. "Yes, I acquired the artifact. I'll be returning to London tomorrow with it, with plenty of time before the apocalypse is supposed to occur."

     There was a pause on the other end and he heard Xander muttering to himself as he wrote the information down. "Oh, and one of the new girls accidentally slayed the wall calendar… what time do I need to send someone to pick you up from the airport?"

     Rupert stuck his hand into his pocket, frowning immediately as he felt his wallet. He always slid it into his pocket in the exact same position… and it was rotated a full 180 degrees from that. Pulling it out, he noticed a distinct lightness that set off even louder alarms. He looked inside and found what he was both expecting and dreading. He'd been robbed.

     Oh, nothing essential was missing. Just the nearly ten thousand dollars in combined petty cash and slush fund for if Shaw decided to do last minute renegotiations or 'stumbled upon' something useful he was willing to part with in addition to the dagger. He'd brought a separate cache of tipping funds, just for cover of course. There was no way that money should have been touched that evening.

     It was that damnable stripper and Shaw's aide, he was sure of it. The way the two kissed and reacted to each other… they were obvious partners who were well-acquainted with each other and had probably pulled this on scam on many gentlemen. One of them must have relieved him of his wallet… the blonde had danced for him at the beginning and end, with her companion commanding his attention for a portion in between. She'd taken his wallet, emptied it, and then returned it near the end. His plane tickets were still in the hotel room, so he wasn't entirely buggered, but he was going to have to account for the missing finds. Which meant either looking weak in front of Shaw and whining about his devious strippers, or telling Willow and Xander about the incident.

     "Oh, bloody hell."



Oh, there's champagne in the champagne room.
But you don't want champagne.
You want sex.
And there's no sex in the champagne room.
None.
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