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Summary: Xander takes his slayers out on a training patrol only to run into a pack of demons. Things go down hill, magic happens. Xan’s life won’t be the same again.Added more to the first chap.Slash

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Pitch Black SeriesMerKatFR15612,7332214041,44527 Aug 065 Jan 09No

Patrol and cat spells

Waking Up New

Title: Patrol and cat spells
Author: Merkat
Fandom: BTVS/Riddick
Summary: Xander takes his slayers out on a training patrol only to run into a pack of demons. Things go down hill, magic happens. Xan’s life won’t be the same again.
Archive: Slash. Het.
Rating: PG-13 . . . NC17
Parts: many
Status: Finished? No. Nope.
Series/Sequel: Nope? No idea! Most likely.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the craziness that spews out of my head. All characters belong to their respective owners. I get no money from this. Just like writing.
Author notes & Warnings: M/M F/M fanfiction. No Beta. Be afraid. My mood affects my writing. So if you can’t handle that go someplace else! I like slash but do not worry if I write something spicy I give warning. Burn me I burn back!


Waking Up New


All that is necessary for evil to succeed is that good men do nothing.

By: Edmund Burke


Ducking under the blue spiked tentacle Xander growled, pulling out a dagger Xander ran toward the center of the mess. This was supposed to be a simple patrol, a training exercise for the baby slayers he was teaching! Slicing off a tentacle that was about to smash into Lillian’s head, Xander threw his axe at the Porthma`Kah demon’s center. He stood there for a moment as the axe sunk into the nest of slimy tentacles, he watched as it welted and turned a sickly brown. Smirking in a hyena like way Xander moved onto the next monster.

His girls were doing well and Xander was really proud of them. Sara was beating the shit out of a Porthma`Kah with a mace. She loved bludgeoning things to death.

Willa was giggling, GIGGLING, as she sliced a good four tentacles off with her scythe. She was sooooo different from Buffy, even though they looked like sisters. They looked so alike, with the blond hair, high voice, and small-ish height, it was scary. Buffy never giggled while covered in demon slime, Willa was a little blood luster like Faith in TOO many ways.

The twin slayers, Giles said having twin slayers were a trillion to one, worked together fluidly. They fought like they knew what the other was thinking before she did something. When Talah kicked, Keilah would punch. They fought like pro's even as young as they were, Giles was thinking that maybe the girls shared a slayer essence.

Lillian was shy but when you gave her a bow staff she fought like a beast and moved like a little acrobat. But she had a weird fear of swords that Xander was trying to break her of.

And Min, whose name was actually Minnie, hit everything below the belt. Though the hitting below the belt thing wasn’t because she was short, Min aimed for it just because. She was a spit fire! Giles, Willow, and Buff couldn’t handle her. She just had too much spirit and trouble followed her like a stink on a skunk. She was Xander’s Minnie me, demon magnetism and all.

Xander dodged another attack and slid to the side just in time to watch Min skewer the demon on her pike. There was only one demon left, just the Queen spore to kill. Xander and his girls surrounded it. Each one held a weapon ready to attack, but held back. The Queen Porthma`Kah spore was different from the others. It was five times bigger, had seedling pods along its sides, and had a bloom at the top of its head.

Without saying a word Xander signaled for the girls to attack. It was a thing of beauty how good his little girls worked together. Soon they would be ready for Watchers, they would travel the world and be their own women. They went for the Queen spore fast and hard, all going for the kill blow. They attacked as one weapons at the ready, but weren’t prepared for the teeth.

Xander’s eye popped out of his head as a mouth full of long needle sharp teeth opened up in a 90-degree angle. The demon before them could easily swallow one of Xander’s baby slayers whole! Stopping Xander grabbed the twins by their collars and pulled the munchkins away from the mouth just as it closed. Their swords were chomped in half, which made them pout.

They circled the thing carefully then struck at its center. The thing was faster then the other ones and used its tentacles like whips, It batted the girls away like flies, but then it grabbed up Xander’s smallest slayer Willa. Its thorn-covered tentacle curled around her like a snake and pulled her to its mouth. With battle cries on their lip’s Xander’s girls attacked together like veteran slayers. Grabbing his axe from the ground Xander swung it under hand and clipped the beast under the jaw.

It released Willa. She was bloody, covered with cuts but got up and started attacking again. Xander was just about to step back and let his girls finish off the demon plant when its tongue shot out.

Time seemed to slow down. Xander could see the expression of fear blossom on each of his little slayers faces. They were running toward him, he could see their lips form his name. Suddenly a pressure hit his chest. Looking down Xander blinked. The red green veined tongue was impaled through his belly and he could see orange slime being pumped into him.

Xander was about to reach for it when a sword cut the tongue from the plant demons body. The demon screamed and thrashed like a wind whipped tree. Xander watched through blurred vison as his girls finished it off. Pride swelled in Xander’s heart before his let the darkness that was creeping up on him take him.

Then he awoke from unconsciousness in what felt like seconds, but he was at home in the safe house, so he must have been out for a good twenty minutes. All his girls were around him and they were crying. The one-eyed carpenter frowned, what could upset his tough little warriors so? He reached out for Lillian who was crying so hard she was hiccuping, her face was red and her nose wet. He lifted his hand to her face but pulled back at the last minute. His hands were bloody.

The moment he moved his girls crowded around him all talking at once. But he couldn’t hear them, their words were just a buzzing in his head. Opening his mouth to ask a question Xander panicked when nothing came out. Then he blinked as an upset white-haired Willow popped into the room. She literally popped out of the air. She floated a couple of inches above the ground and her long white hair fluttered in a nonexistent wind. Xander was going to make a joke about dramatic entrances but all that came from his mouth was a pained croak.

Willow floated toward him with the grace of an angel, she would have looked completely otherworldly if it wasn’t for the pikachu T-shirt she was wearing. She kneeled by him and put a cool hand on his forehead. It felt good. Giving his girls a smile of reassurance he fell asleep.

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

By: Albert Schweitzer
Watcher’s Council main meeting room

Standing up Willow growled at the men and women before her. Some people were so stupid!! How hard was it for them to understand? It wasn’t like she was speaking a different language? Losing her temper Willow slammed her hands down onto the table. Some of Xander’s little slayers were standing behind Willow. Murderous glares on their faces.


The older men and women scuttled back at the glimpse of the light witch’s rage but still had the gull to glare at her. The old man in the middle spoke up. “ Miss Rosenberg calm down! We cannot use valuable and expensive resources on a . . . a carpenter!”

Anyone with the brain of a squirrel would know when not to make a woman with power mad. From the twitch of Willow’s right eye brow and the fact that every item not nailed down was floating in the air . . . Hint much?

“Really?” She said in a calm voice.

The New Watcher’s Council brightened, they knew the young witch would see reason. But there are so many different kinds of calm. Willow was as calm as a deadly storm before it wiped out everything in its path. So when fire lit Willow’s eyes and the New Council started screaming the little slayers just sat back and let the council reap the fruit they had sown. The little slayers left the room of screams not an ounce of guilt within they’re Xander loving hearts , the council set the music let them face the song. After-all if Willow got rid of the stupid within human DNA it would just be one more point for the good guy’s, right?


Giles rubbed his forehead then sighed. “Willow did you really have to turn them into frogs? You could have waited till Buffy, Faith, and I got off the jet.”

Giles should have guessed something like this would happen. When it came to Xander Willow despite all her witch training was like a song on repeat. Toast the bad guys, save Xander, no if buts or in-between for her. Then again if Giles was honest with himself there was on in-between for him either. Not when it came to his children.

Buffy raised a brow. “Wills I thought you were afraid of frogs?”

The little slayers started giggling. “She is, and boy did she run from the room fast!” Said Sara with a snicker.

Willow blushed. “It was the first thing I could think of. But what are we going to do about Xander!?! I put a time freeze spell on him b-but it will do nothing for the poison trying to kill him!! I did many spells and none of them got rid of the poison!! WHAT DO WE DO?!!!!!!!! WHAT IF I CAN’T CURE HIM?!!!!!!!”

Buffy hugged her friend, trying to ease the witch before she blew up the room and her ears. The girl had quite a set of lungs.

Cleaning his glasses Giles entered a room with over a dozen little girls holding weapons. He walked past them to a bed. In it Xander laid unmoving, not breathing, like a doll. Giles blinked at the be spelled boy and yelled. “WILLOW! WHAT DID YOU DO TO XANDER?” He could yell pretty good too when he wanted to.

Each of the little girls looked bemused. “Willow was trying to get rid of the poison but ended up doing other things with her spells. I think Xander looks pretty!” Said Andy, one of the youngest called slayers at only eight.

Giles groaned. Willow had turned their poor friend into a . . . a CAT!! Giles vaguely remembered a show he used to watch as a child, the Thunder Cats. And poor Xander resembled them quite a bit. Either that or some sort of cat elf!

Willow came running into the room an embarrassed look on her face. A blush was spread finely across her nose as she began to stutter. “I-I was hoping I could ex-plain be-before you came in to l-look at Xander.”

Giles raised the long silky grey tail in the air, it was softer then minks. “Willow HOW can you explain this?”

Xander had faint blue claw marks across his cheeks and grey spots along the sides of his neck. He had a tail that Giles estimated was at least 36 inches in length, the grey hair on the tail started short but ended long at the tip. His ears had a faint bluish tip to them and his unruly hair was just as unruly as ever only a lot longer. Some of the ends were even braided. Giles watched as Andy, Chrissy, and Nicky started braiding in pretty blue beads. Poor Xander was starting to look like a cross between Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, Lord of the Rings elves, and a pampered house cat.

Giles could feel a headache pounding behind his eyes. “Willow how did this happen?”

“I tried to take the toxin out through magic using a purification stone from Egypt. You know the red one Xander found in one of Bast’s temples. Instead of helping me take out the poison it made Xander all cattie.”

Giles raised a brow. “Is that what grew his hair? And discolored his skin and ears? And his age? He looks a bit younger then he was the last I’d seen him. And his eye? Did you even read up on the stone you used?” Xander’s skin sparkled, and glowed white. And Giles could clearly see that Xander eye wasn’t sunken in, that they were shaped differently now. Xander looked a bit Egyptian, his face was slightly narrowed and his eyes were tilted more oval shaped. Both eyes looked the same, scarless, like they use to before Caleb.

Willow bit her lip. “I did do research on the stone. It’s called ‘Bast’s Eye’ it’s supposed to heal her subjects of all that ails them! The spells went wonky.”

Giles groaned when Willow was done speaking, he could feel a headache beating behind his eyes. “Willow think about what you just said . . .Heals her subjects. Willow I do not ever recall Xander become a priest of Bast’s temples.” He said it slow like he was talking to a little girl.

Willow blinked then a rosy flush spread across her neck all the way to her hairline. “Oh . . Well after the first spell the stone turned Xander kinda catty, I tried to undue it. I got rid of the paws, the cute fluffy cat ears, and the kittie face but then the stone wouldn’t work! You know that Porthma`Kah demon venom absorbs magic without a powerful conductor. When I tried without one, the magic was sucked in and made Xander all glowy. But Xander has his eye back!! That’s good right?! Oh and some of the magic even stayed inside him! Look for yourself.”

Giles did and felt a presents of white magic inside Xander. It was wild and pure but no where near as powerful as Willow’s or even Giles. It was just there, held tight just waiting to be used. It was coiled up like a deadly predator ready to lash out.

“But the time spell you used worked?” Thinking about these problems were just making Giles blood pressure go up. Keeping Xander alive was more important then Willow bloopers, at least for the moment.

Willow nodded. “Very well Willow. Let us just try to find Xander a cure first then YOU can tell him you turned the poor boy into a cat.” With that said Giles went back into the other room and to his books where things made sense.

“Cat face . . .” He shook his head, he needed a stiff drink.


“Are you sure he will be ok in that clunker?” Said Faith as she lightly kicked the black pod before them. The thought of being frozen in one gave Faith the wiggins.

“Yes Faith. The venom will ware off within three years. If we can keep Xander alive for that time then the toxin should be completely out of his body and without effect to him.” Giles hoped.

Faith raised a brow. “And what about what Red did to him? BoyToy looks like a cat ladies wet dream.”

Giles groaned. “We'll just have to worry about that after Xander awakens. When the toxin fades from his blood I’m sure it will be quite simple to change him back Hopefully . . . The stone used on Xander is old but simply made. I think a reversal spell with a stone of equal power should cure him of his cat problem. We’ll just need to find the stone since Bast’s Eye needs five years of sunlight to recharge from Willows use of it.”

Buffy came in with three or four teary-eyed baby slayers carrying Xander. Xander’s Minnie me was an emotional mess, she was crying one minute then telling cat jokes the next. She had tied the good luck bracelet Xander had made for her around Xander’s wrist, she had said something about it keeping him safe. That demon magnets needed to stick together. Xander was dressed in a specially made black body suit, one that would protect his organs while he is frozen. They placed him near it and watched as the pod steamed and the hatch opened.

“Where is Willow?” Asked Giles.

Buffy shrugged. “Reading the books. She’s determined to find a spell to save Xander. So far every book she read says the same thing. Poison can’t be removed it has to fade or blend into the hosts system. Hey it might have been a good thing! Willow turning Xan all cat-like. If he was human it would have taken him a good ten years to heal!”

Giles shook his head as he helped the tech prepare the pod. He wasn’t so sure Xander would have agreed with Buffy. “Put Xander in.”

Carefully the girls set the brunet into the cryo capsule, they all watched with tired expressions as it slowly closed. The sound of many locks clicking into place echoed through the room sounding hollow to the ear.

“We'll open it again soon, right?” Said Ray as she touched the glass, this thing looked too much like a coffin for her taste.

“Sure Ray! Three years pass faster then you know it! We will have our old Xander-shaped-friend back soon.” Buffy patted the younger slayer on the shoulder and gave a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes.


So . . . What do you think? Like it, don't like it? Review and tell me. I looked at the reviews and decided to add to it.
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