A/N - I am so PISSED!!!!!! I just typed this whole story up and in one fell swoop, the computer managed to lose it all. GAAHH!!
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns BtVS. Trey Parker and Matt Stone, may they live in infamy evermore, own Kenny's adorably perverted little self.
Proof that you can cross anything with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
"Ok Dawnie, can you bring me that book? No, the big one. No, the REALLY big one. I think it's got some kind of gooey demon on the front of it... that's the one."
"Jeez Willow, couldn't you just, like, float it down? You know, do some wiggy wiggy and poof! No more stress for my fragile little arms." She dropped the tome with an impressive *THUD* in front of the redheaded witch. "They might break off."
"You're young, they'll grow back," Willow quipped. She opened it and flipped to the desired spell. "Ok... can you go grab me these ingredients?"
"There better be cookies in this for me," Dawn called back over her shoulder, as she headed down into the storeroom of the Magic Box.
"M'h mphmr mph mmrh mh mrph mrhhr mphr," said the little boy in the orange parka.
"It's not a big deal," Willow hastened to reassure him. "I mean, you had to go through a lot, and it's the least I can do for you."
The door to the Magic Box opened and Spike swept in, covered by a slightly charred blanket. He dropped it in a heap and smoothly pulled out a cigarette.
"Hey Red. Is the Slayer around?"
"No, but she'll be here later. She's gotta pick some stuff up."
"Right. I'll wait then." He noticed the kid as he lit up. "Oh, it's you again. What is this, the fiftieth time?"
"Fifty-first." He whistled. "Did the little fatass do it?"
"Mh, mph rmphmrhmph."
"Huh. That's a new one. It's a shame that tooth fairy thing didn't pan out. Mighta had some money to pay us whenever you kick the bucket." He looked thoughtful. "Rather brillant scheme, really. Might have some potential in this dimension." He wandered off to look at some new displays Anya had set up.
"Here's the stuff," Dawn returned with the necessaries for the spell. "And can we hurry it up please? This little kid is creeping me out."
"M'r mphr mh mrp mph mhr mhrmphr."
She glared at him. " I don't know what the hell he just said, but I KNOW it was fucking dirty."
"M'rh mhrr mph mhrph, mph -"
"Okay, thanks for the help Dawnie," Willow interrupted quickly. "Lots and lots of chocolate chip cookies for you, I promise!"
"Little perv," Dawn muttered, and went to join Spike.
"Alright Kenny, try not to get into trouble this time."
"Okay. And don't go off without your parka, or-"
"I know you know, but I worry about you. You're too young to die. Permanently, I mean." Willow sprinkled some of the ingredient mixture onto his orange coat, and spoke the incantation. Kenny waved goodbye as he faded back into his own dimension.
Willow's cell rang. She spoke for a moment, then hung up and said "Sorry Spike. Buffy isn't coming by tonight. "Had something to do. Dawnie, can you take her books home with you?"
"Sure," Dawn said.
"Not coming?" Spike looked disgusted, and picked up his blanket. "Screw you guys, I'm going home."