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Aftermath of a Night as a Puppet

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This story is No. 2 in the series "Looking Forward". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: With its huge number of wedding chapels, getting drunk in Vegas is never a good idea. Especially when you're Angel and you're half your normal size.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Muppets, The(Current Donor)ShieldageFR721,2930152,36928 Aug 063 Dec 06Yes

The Wedding

BtVs created by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, Muppets by Jim Henson Productions.
Yet another 'Woke up in Vegas' pairing. Added extra line to make clear what she's reacting to ;)

I woke up and was surprised to feel a warm body laying in the bed beside me. Breathing, fortunately.

I was smelling perfume, overlaid with fluff, when I remembered Willow's spell and the state I'd been in for the past week.

It seemed it'd finally worn off.

It also seemed I'd gotten horribly wasted my last night as a puppet. I could tell from the hangover.

Bleary eyed, I swung my feet around, sat on the edge of the bed and, after a moment of fumbling, turned on the bedside lamp.

I was shocked to see a marriage certificate and a packet of photos on top of the small table.

Whatever the body-mass-to-liquor ratio is for stuffed folk, I'd gone way over it.

I inhaled, breathing deeply, and concentrated.

Yes, it was fairly definite that I still had my soul.

Good. Exhale. One less worry.

I lifted up the packet, gently, but the photos still spilled all over the table.

As the memories of last night came back to me, I took solace in a flashback.


I woke up, to see an immense blinding light.

"Oh, Sorry," someone said, as they adjusted the hanging light over the... operating table!

"Wha? Wha? Where am I?"

"Calm yourself Angel," Willow stated. "I'm afraid I missed all but the last few minutes of your Final Battle, and..."

"Dad, it was the only thing she could do," Connor said, looking huge from that angle. "Anything else and you'd be dust right now."

Oh, my God, I can't feel my hands!

Oh, my God, my spine's been torn out, I...

Am at a very odd angle...

I'm a severed head! "AAAAAAAAAAGH!"

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay. I just reactivated the spell that turned you into a puppet. You're okay, we just have to sow you a new body, a layer at a time. It's gonna be alright."

I passed out


I sat at the bar a few days later, drowning my sorrows in alcohol.

Willow had said it was tricky, that with so much new material required, the spell couldn't be taken off immediately or I'd be only part flesh.

When everything had been converted properly, the spell would reverse and I'd be back to my normal human appearance.

She said that'd take anywhere between three days to a week.

I'd wanted to get away from everyone I knew, so I'd booked a hotel room in Las Vegas.

Looking back on it now, that probably hadn't been a very good idea.

She sat down next to me, bought me another drink and began to grouse about her boyfriend of fifteen years, and of his fear of commitment.

I explained how I've laid my life on the line, so many times, for the things that I believe in.

Also not a good idea...


So there I sat, on the edge of my hotel room bed, looking at the wedding photos of 'Mr. Liam Connor Angel & Mrs. Janette Barbara Piggy-Angel'

The most striking one was my puppet-self in a rented tux, holding hands with my blushing bride, who... at that moment, beside me, was sitting up and pulling the covers tight over her ample chest.

"Oh, my God!" she yelled in horror. "You're a human!"

If her hangover was half as bad as mine, I'm surprised she noticed.

"Oh, my God," I answered weakly, not turning around. "You're a pig."
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