Story Notes: inspired by the Barb Cummings tag line
“Spike’s troubled. He needs desserts.” – Lilo the Vampire Slayer
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel the Series, and all associated characters are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, United Paramount Network, and Fox Television. Lilo and Stitch and all associated characters are property of Chris Sanders and Walt Disney. This work is not for profit, and no ownership of aforementioned copyrighted material implied, nor any infringement intended
* * *
The hula lessons had not been going well. It wasn’t that Lilo didn’t enjoy them, or have an aptitude for the dance. That part of her culture just seemed a little...boring. And with the other girls’ lack of acceptance led to name-calling. And fighting. And biting.
Now lua, on the other hand... Nani had enrolled Lilo at the dojo down the street after Lilo was kicked out of hula classes. One of Nani’s coworkers had mentioned that karate was good for self-discipline, and helped give kids direction and keep them out of trouble. Nani and Lilo were at the nearest martial arts dojo the next day. The dojo offered classes in karate, jujitsu, and lua.
“What’s lua,” Lilo had asked the instructor.
Robert, the olohe-lua, had smiled down at her. His crinkled brown face reminded Lilo of her grandfather. “Lua is the martial art of our people. Karate and jujitsu...they are from other people, but lua is the art of our forefathers. You learn internal harmony using positive and negative forces, boxing, wrestling, bone breaking, healing techniques, thinking strategies, and the weapons of our ancestors.”
Lilo nodded. “That’s the one.”
Nani looked disapproving. “Don’t you want to take karate, you know, work on your inner peace?”
Nani looked imploringly at the olohe-lua.. He smiled. “She can always transfer to one of the other arts later. The fees are the same, just different class times. Okay?”
“I don’t know...”
“Please, please Nani, I promise I’ll be good and learn to control myself and be a good part of the community.”
* * *
Classes had been going well. Lilo’s favorite parts were the hakihaki, the bone breaking arts. They had been more difficult for her than the other skills, but she enjoyed practicing despite the extra effort. And the weapon training was even more fun. Lilo would pretend that she was one of her ancestors, demonstrating her skills to the king with the carved canoe paddle or the pitchfork-like wooden dagger.
After the nightmares started in May things were different. Lilo slept less at night, and when she did she often had dreams of people with hideously deformed faces and sharp teeth. And she dreamt of fighting them.
In her Lua classes all of the weapons seemed easier to handle, but the pahi, the wooden knife, now seemed an extension of her body. The olohe-lua had even given her a pahi of her very own after she gave particularly fine demonstration.
So now it was late, and so was Nani, as usual. Finally she used the dojo phone to call Nani’s latest place of employment. “...no, no tell her I’m getting a ride home from a friend. Thanks, bye.” Lilo turned to see he instructor watching her, obviously having heard the end of the conversation.
The olohe-lua frowned. “You lied to your sister, Lilo.”
“I don’t want her to lose her job, and we need the money.”
The old man looked out the window at the gathering darkness. “Wait a minute and I’ll walk you home, Lilo. Let me make sure Bill is coming in tonight.”
“No, Olohe Robert, I don’t want to make you miss the late class. I can get home by myself. Nothing bad ever happens here. Plus I’ve got the pahi you gave me.” Lilo waved the dark wooden knife.
The olohe-lua smiled “Are you sure you wouldn’t like something bigger?”
“Oh, could I take the small lei-o-mano? It’ll fit in my bag.”
Biting back a grin the instructor walked over to the ‘weapons wall.’ He ignored the spears, oars, and staves, taking instead the shortest of the sharktooth-studded clubs off the wall. “Yes, you can borrow this as a good luck charm, as long as you tell your sister the truth, that you walked home.”
“Okay, I promise.”
Lilo walked down the deserted street, avoiding potholes and trying to stay in the odd patch of light. She was halfway home when she heard scuffling from a dark alley. A blond-haired haole tumbled out of the darkness, crashing into an overturned dumpster with a grunt. “Bloody hell!” He regained his feet and glanced in Lilo’s direction.
She gasped, gripping her pahi tighter as she looked into the face of a monster from her dreams. “Now, pet, I’m not going to hurt you.” His awful face turned human as he spoke. “But that thing might.”
Lilo looked into the alley the blond monster had come from. A shriek started to build up in Lilo before she squelched it, hard. A huge blue monster with six legs and a mouth full of teeth entered the outermost circle of streetlight. It growled, looking first at the blond, then her. It leapt for Lilo.
She started to raise her pahi, realized it would be useless against something that big, and reached instead for the lei-o-mano in her shoulder bag. The shark teeth of the club caught on the inside of her bag, and the blue monster flew through the air towards her with gaping jaws. Only to be tackled by the white-haired man—monster?—that she had seen first.
“No you don’t, Fluffy.” He punched the monster in the side of its huge head repeatedly. “No-“ WHACK “-snacking” WHACK “on little girls.” The man pulled back his arm for another strike by the six legged monstrosity kicked out and launched him through the air to crash into the dumpster. Again.
Lilo called out to the man as he stood up, somewhat uncertainly. The six-legged thing charged the man again, but this time he pivoted to the side and kicked at the blue creature. It staggered slightly and slammed into a wall, and Lilo saw her chance. She darted in, and the shark-toothed club, now free in her hand, slashed the monster across one side of its throat.
The blond man stepped forward with a piece of pipe he had picked up from the ground and thrust it into the monster’s eye. A deafening roar tapered off to whimpers, and the creature stumbled then collapsed to the ground.
The man turned to face Lilo. “Hello luv. What’s your name?”
Lilo eyed the dead monster, then the man facing her. “I’m Lilo. What are you?”
“Spike, at your service.”
* * *
“Thanks, Cobra.” Spike pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes out of a pocked on his duster and lit the least mangled cigarette.
The huge dark man in the suit shook his head. “Sorry we lost track of it, Spike. We always did have better luck with HSTs than with HETs. Glad to help with the clean-up though.”
The blond vampire smiled. “Always figured not all of you Initiative blokes were monsters.”
Cobra Bubbles laughed in a deep rumble. His expression became somber. “What are you going to do about the girl?” Lilo sat on a curb close by, with a blanket wrapped around her. Within arm’s reach lay the shark-toothed club that was covered in congealing blue-green blood. A female agent with a neutral expression stood next to her.
“Gonna call her family, you nit. What’d you think?”
“She’s an orphan, Spike. She lives with her older sister since their parents died in a car accident.”
Spikes eye’s flashed in anger. At the world in general, not Cobra in particular. “I meant I’m calling her other family.”
Agent Bubbles frowned. “Is that wise?”
“Slayers take care of their own. Not wise to try and keep one of theirs. Or ‘interfere’ in any way.”
“I see.” Cobra frowned, thinking back to the troubles the Initiative had had in Sunnydale. And the stories that had come out of L.A. after Slayers helped suppress the ‘rioting by gangs on PCP.’ “They have become a much more powerful organization recently. And it wouldn’t do to...upset them...needlessly. Need to borrow a phone?”
Spike frowned. “Yeah, mine got crunched in the fight with Fido the space-dog.” Spike took the proffered cell phone and walked over to the Hawaiian girl.
Lilo looked up at the vampire with big eyes. “Am I in trouble?”
“Naw, pet. We’ll get hold of your sister. Then I’m going to contact some friends of mine who will love to meet you.”
“You sure I’m not gonna be in trouble?”
“I’ll talk to your sister.”
“I meant about the lei-o-mano. It’s not mine. I borrowed it from my lua instructor.”
“That right? Well, I’m sure he’ll be right pleased that you put it to good use.”
* * *
There was a knock at the door. Nani opened it a crack and looked out at the two haoles on the porch. “Who is it?”
“Hi, I’m Buffy. This is Andrew. Spike said you were expecting us?”
Nani’s face was set in a frown at the little skinny blonde woman with the perky voice. She stepped back, mindful about what Spike had said about not inviting anyone into the house. The woman crossed the threshold easily, as did the young man in a suit, so Nani led them to the kitchen.
Spike looked up from his two-person poker game. “’ello, luv. There’s someone I want you to meet. Buffy, this is Lilo, the Vampire Slayer."
References:Weapons of Lua General overview of Lua