Thank God You Were Here.
Disclaimer: Characters and ‘verses aren’t mine. BtVS and those characters still belong to Joss Whedon, and The X-Files and those characters belong to Chris Carter.
Summary: An FFA inspired pairing. Faith Lehane vampire slayer is employed by Alex Krycek triple agent, (working at the end of the day for the F.S.B. Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation) to be his driver. This series of stories examines what all the X-files, BtVs and Angel episodes that they appeared in would be like, now they are a couple.
May 12th 2000
San Jose Costa Rica
“Well many happy frickin’ returns anyway Alex!” Faith jumped off the bed, clad only in her underwear, stalking across the bedroom floor, slamming the door behind her.
Alex lay back on the bed naked apart from his jeans, covered in sweat. Where the hell had that temper tantrum come from?
He couldn’t believe Faith was jealous. Jealous, because his ex-lover Marita had rung up out of the blue and asked for his help in something to do with the Consortium.
Faith was acting like a girlfriend damn it. She was being totally unreasonable. Faith was his driver. Alex would think she would be glad to have this opportunity to go back to Boston for a spell.
And to find out that evil bastard Spender had told her what Krycek’s actual birth date was, two months ago in Canada, had been an unpleasant surprise. Alex had never realized the two had met. Of course they both had their filthy addiction to Morley cigarettes in common.
No dramas, what part of his explicit instructions hadn’t Faith understood suddenly? Alex sprang out of bed, and marched into the living room. She wasn’t there, but he could hear the shower running. Somehow separate rooms had turned into separate rooms in the same hotel unit for them, rather than side by side.
Alex knocked on the bathroom door. “Faith!” he yelled. “Can I come in?”
“Drop dead Krycek!” Faith screamed through the door.
That wasn’t ‘I’m on the can’ which Faith would have said if she was. Alex tried the door. Not locked, she couldn’t want not to be disturbed that much.
Alex entered the bathroom cautiously. Faith was shaving her legs in the shower.
“Go away!” She yelled. “Can’t I have one frickin’ private moment?”
“The door was unlocked.” Alex pointed out reasonably.
“Because the lock is broken, Christ, do I need to buy a door jam tomorrow?”
“I am pissed off you’re behaving like a drama queen over Marita.” Alex reprimanded her.
“I don’t give a shit about your ex.” Faith proceeded to shave under her arms. It was Alex’s own fault, she couldn’t preserve any frickin' feminine mystique around the guy. Although Alex had told her last week he didn’t care if women shaved under their arms or not. It was a Euro thing apparently.
“Then why the carry on, are you premenstrual?” Alex wanted to know.
Faith threw a bar of soap at him. It caught Alex full on the chest. Her slayer aim was accurate and powerful. “Stop acting like a boyfriend. Am I premenstrual? God, do you know how annoying that is?”
Alex’s eyes narrowed. The bar of soap had hurt. “About as annoying as being assaulted by a bar of soap, I guess.” Alex turned on the hot water faucet, so her shower ran cold.
“Yikes!” Faith yelped, leaping out of the shower. “That is dirty fighting Alex!” she accused him.
Alex stared at her naked body. After only ten weeks of knowing her, he was still wild for her. “Can I screw you?” he checked.
“God yes,” Faith told him.
“Good.” Alex turned the hot water in the basin off and pushed her back in the shower, joining her.
“You still have your jeans..,” Faith began to mention, but was silenced as his mouth closed on hers.
Sighing with pleasure, Faith opened her mouth to welcome his tongue’s probing insertion. She undid his fly, stroking his hard thick length. Alex pulled down his jeans with his foot and stepped out of them. Kicking them out of the shower.
Alex pushed Faith against the wall, helping her slide up, so her groin was level with his in the corner of the shower stall.
He entered her slowly, both of them looking into each others eyes as he did so. Moving in and out of her unhurriedly, he massaged her clitoris carefully. She came immediately, crying out loudly. Alex was momentarily taken aback. Christ, she really had been turned on by their fight. Great! Alex sped up and climaxed quickly himself.
Faith slid back down the wall, her arms round his neck, kissing him again and again. Alex turned off the shower head.
They stood in the steamy cubicle, embracing.
“So what pissed you off so much then?” Alex asked her.
“Your frickin' negative attitude to me suggesting we go out for dinner tonight, because it’s ya birthday.” Faith explained calmly. “Thirty two, that’s wicked Alex. I don’t get why you were so mad about me knowing about it.”
“I’m thirty-one Faith.” Alex corrected. “I was born in 1969, as you obviously know now, that makes me thirty-one.”
“It does?” Faith held up her fingers and did some recalculations. “Oh yeah, sorry math never my strong point.”
“It threw me, that you had known something I normally keep secret for security reasons. What else do you know about me?” Alex asked, stepping out of the shower and passing her a towel.
“I don’t know anything about you much Alex.” Faith shrugged. “You’re Russian, you were born in St Petersburg. That’s all you’ve ever told me. I don’t think you’re an only child, you share too well. I also figure both your folks are alive and still together. You had a bad break up with that woman Marita. I’ve heard Russians call you Alexis sometimes. Hey, do you have to kill me because I know that?”
“My first name is Alexis.” Alex admitted. “I have a younger brother he’s twenty eight, got married last month. I was back in Russia for the wedding in April. Both my parents are still alive and married. My family is pretty untouchable for various reasons. It doesn’t affect their safety that you know that. As long as you keep your mouth shut, no one is going to kill you. Not now you’ve been vaccinated.”
Faith guessed correctly Alex’s family was probably ex KGB. She had the sense to keep that thought to herself.
“So can we go out to dinner then huh?” Faith tried again.
“Yeah sure.” Alex leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I liked the birthday card you gave me, haven’t had one in a while, especially not on the right date.” He had found the card with it’s photograph of a golf cart and fishing rod illustration startling. Wasn’t it something you would give to your grandfather?
Faith had stood before him this morning, all thrilled she had found a card in English and he hadn’t the heart to criticize it. Faith couldn’t think of him as her grandfather. He was only eleven years older than her.
“Do you think there’s a big age gap between us?” he asked. He always did feel weird that he was screwing a nineteen year old.
“Huh? You’re my boss Alex, Of course you’ll be older than me.” Faith toweled her hair dry. “I mean, I’d never go out with a guy your age of course. We’d have nothing in common. You and me weren’t even born in the same frickin' decade. You are old dude.”
“We like the same kinds of music.” Alex felt compelled to point out for some reason. He filled the basin with hot water to shave.
“Yeah I guess. But we compromise on the same kind of music would be a better term. You like post grunge, I like nu metal.” Faith felt her chin. “Can you see a pimple here?”
“Yeah, I told you, you should put witch hazel on it in this climate.” Alex instructed. He wiped the mirror clean of steam. “I don’t get why you let me screw you.” He couldn’t let it go somehow.
Faith rummaged through her make-up bag, looking for the witch hazel lotion Alex had insisted she buy last week. Faith didn’t often delve into self analysis, she never liked what she found much.
“Because I always get off with you I guess.” Faith poured the lotion on cotton wool. “I mean why do you fuck me? Because I’m around right? I save you a fortune on brothel visits pal.”
“No!” Alex denied, applying his shaving foam sick. It was her body, he couldn’t stop lusting after it. “You are not my personal prostitute. I don’t think of you that way.”
“Well you could if you wanted.” Faith joked. “What’s the going rate for a working girl? I mean I could make a hundred dollars a night off you, right?”
“I’m being serious.” Alex took out his razor. Secure in the knowledge Faith never touched it.
“You’re being heavy Alex.” Faith applied deodorant and walked out of the bathroom.
May 17th 2000
Faith and her best friend Marie spun each other round the dance floor of the Blarney Stone Bar. Their friend Kenny’s band was playing traditional Irish covers tonight.
Marie and Faith could both do an Irish jig, courtesy of St Magdalene’s Middle School’s compulsory dance classes, the last school Faith had spent that much time in.
Sweating and laughing the two girls went back to have their beer when the music ended.
“Kenny should stick to covers.” Faith commented, gulping back her beer thirstily. “It’s better than his own crap music.”
“Yeah, are you bummed he’s hooked up with my room mate Karen?”
“Christ no, takes the heat off me. ‘I love you Faithie, have nineteen children with me.’” Faith poked fun at her ex-boyfriend. “God he could get scary sometimes.”
“Well something’s on your mind. Is it still working out okay with your boss?” Marie checked, lighting a cigarette.
“What do ya mean?” Faith lit her own cigarette. The Blarney Stone Bar was thick with cigarette smoke. It was that kind of place.
“Oh come on Faith. I’ve known you since Kindergarten.” Marie reminded her. “You’re banging your boss. Your grandma said he was very charming and wicked handsome.”
“Did she mention the fact he has one arm?” Faith wanted to see how her friend would take that fact.
“Wow, has he?” Marie was intrigued. “So how does that work out in bed?”
“I haven’t said I’ve been in bed with him.” Faith rolled her eyes at Marie’s snort of disbelief. “It works out fine. We don’t do anything kinky about it, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“So what is his kink?” Marie wanted to know. “You’ve always said every guy you’ve ever been with has one.”
“Look I don’t want to talk about him, do ya mind Marie? It’s kinda private.” Faith blushed.
“My god, you’ve never said that about a guy before, you must totally be frickin' into him.” Marie drank her beer.
“Not really, it’s a casual thing.” Faith stubbed her cigarette out in the ashtray. “He’s got business with his ex at the moment. This sophisticated European blond in her early thirties.”
“And you’re worried they might get back together?” Marie guessed.
“Nah, like I said it’s casual between me and him.” Faith replied, trying to convince herself of that fact.
May 20th 2000
FORJ SIDI TOUI, TUNISIA
Alex didn’t know why he had been put in jail here. These kinds of misunderstandings always seemed to happen to him, when he was working for the Consortium. The filthy place stank. He had been incarcerated here for two days.
The only thing this dump had going for it, was that there was freely available hashish here to keep the inmates docile. Krycek had found it took the edge off everything last night.
He was sure Faith was screwing her ex-boyfriend at the moment, in the relative comfort of the Boston slum Kenny roomed in. Not that Krycek cared of course.
Why did the prison authorities have to confiscate his false arm as well? He could have used it to kill the rats here.
He saw a long pair of legs coming down the stairs. Great now the bitch showed up.
"Your release has been arranged.” Marita told him coldly
Krycek walked over to her. “Marita Covarrubias. The last time I saw you, I left you for dead.” This was not true, he had gone back for her.
Recently he had seen her only last March, but you never knew who was listening in these places.
“Alex, if it was strictly up to me, I'd leave you here to rot, too.” Marita informed him harshly to keep up appearances.
They had made up in Canada. Even done a line of cocaine together for old time’s sake, but they hadn’t slept together there.
Krycek looked at her. “Who sent you?”
“The smoking man.” Marita said cryptically, conscious of the fact they were not alone. “He is dying.”
“That sounds too good to be true.” Alex was still pissed off Spender had told Faith when Alex’s birthday was. “So can I leave this shit hole now?”
“The surroundings suit you.” Marita winked. She beckoned to a watchful guard. “Come on Krycek, I have a helicopter waiting on the roof.”
May 21st 2000
“Thanks Uncle Brian.” Faith pocketed the fifty dollars she had just earned. “I can use the money. I’ll give it to Grandma for board.”
“That’s okay Faithie.” Her uncle patted her back. “You’re a strong young thing aren’t you? Never would have picked a girl for being so handy to help shift a house.”
“Yeah, been working out,” Faith turned to go. “So want me again tomorrow?”
“Eight o’clock honey.” Brian Lehane waved his dead brother’s daughter good bye. Faith had grown into a fine young woman.
The Furniture Removalist wondered what she was up to tonight. Going to see her friend Marie, he supposed. Someone said they’d seen them going into the local cemetery last night. Brian couldn’t think what on Earth the two girls would do that for. He hoped they weren’t buying drugs.
May 23rd 2000
THE WATERGATE APARTMENTS
Alex walked up the steps of the Watergate Apartments with Marita. She hadn’t changed as a traveling companion. Still insisted on humming along to the music in the car, he didn’t find it endearing anymore thank god. Just incredibly annoying.
They knocked on one of the rooms in the hotel. A blond nurse opened the door to them.
"Hi. He's anxious to see you.” Nurse Greta greeted them.
Efficiently the nurse went over to the man in the wheelchair sitting by the window, turning him around.
Marita and Alex stared at Spender horrified. God, the old guy looked bad. He had no color left in his skin, an artificial voice box installed in his throat.
Spender smiled sickly at them. “I was worried about you, Alex.”
“Cut the crap, old man.” Alex sneered disrespectfully.
“I heard about your incarceration.” Spender mentioned sweetly.
“You had me thrown in that hellhole.” Alex realized angrily.
“For trying to sell something that was mine, was it not?” Spender had been pleased with the little set up he had arranged. Alex needed taking down a notch or two. “I hope we can all move forward...put the past behind us. We have a...singular opportunity now.”
“A singular opportunity?” Alex inquired.
“There's been a crash in Oregon. An alien ship has collided with a military aircraft. Recovery is all-important. It's Roswell and Corona all over again...fifty years later.” Spender was pitifully excited. “It's our chance to rebuild the project.”
“How do you know someone hasn't already recovered it?” Marita asked revolted.
She and Alex couldn’t get over the nurse lighting a cigarette for Spender, giving it to him through the inhaler apparatus of his voice box.
”It's never quite so easy.” Spender explained, puffing away.
Alex passionately wished Faith could see Spender at the moment. So she could give up the only thing he couldn’t stand about her, Faith’s smoking addiction.
May 27th 2000
Faith got off the plane and looked around her. The nation’s capital. A pity Alex couldn’t have got her here a day sooner, so she could sightsee.
Still she’d made record time. Her flight had even been bumped forward an hour earlier, than Alex had scheduled for her originally.
Faith went to the car rental place and picked up the car. All she needed to do was collect Alex from the Watergate Apartments Hotel. This evening they were flying to Ecuador.
Faith had spent most of her time knee deep in Vampire dust. Boston was definitely a vampire city. It must have been why she was called to Slaying there. She’d done a good job in clearing the backlog. Marie, Kenny and the O’Malley brothers should be able to keep a tight lid on things until she returned.
Well now she had an hour to kill, she might take a drive round and take in the sights.
She wondered what glamorous places Alex had been to since they’d been apart.
Alex thought over his last crazy two weeks. A prison in Tunisia, an uncomfortable stakeout spying on that naive fool Mulder in some hick lumber town in Oregon, telling Mulder the spaceship was in the local woods, dodging alien bounty hunters.
Having to face Skinner again, the guy did not like Krycek since he had infected him with that nanobot technology virus. Alex couldn’t really blame him.
Now he and Marita were back in Spender's apartment. They had both decided to kill the evil son of a bitch.
”We've failed.” Spender sighed despondently. “Perhaps you never meant to succeed. Anyway...the hour is at hand, I presume.”
Krycek began to wheel Spender out of the room.
“What are you doing?” Nurse Greta cried alarmed.
“Sending the devil back to hell.” Alex informed her. Christ he was going to enjoy killing the bastard.
Marita closed the door on the nurse’s face.
“As you do to Mulder and to me...you do to all of mankind, Alex.” Spender told him.
Alex was sick of the old guy’s mysterious bullshit.
He wheeled Spender to the top of the nearest flight of stairs and pushed him down. If that didn’t finish off Spender nothing would.
He and Marita fled to the back entrance of the hotel, where he had arranged with Faith to pick them up.
Hopefully she would be there on time. Alex wasn’t expecting her for twenty minutes.
Faith was five minutes early bless her. Alex and Marita had heard the ambulance sirens arrive for Spender ten minutes ago.
Faith pulled up, Alex and Marita walked quickly over to her.
Alex sank thankfully in the front seat. “Thank god you’re here. Drive to the Hilton, that’s where Marita’s been staying. Have you two met? Marita this is Faith Lehane. Faith this is Marita Covarrubias.”
Marita immediately wondered why Alex was bothering to introduce her to his driver. He normally ignored them and sat in the back seat.
“Hey.” Faith greeted her.
“Hello.” Marita said back. The two women looked each other up and down.
“God it’s terrible Alex, that sweet old man that was with ya both in Churchill, was being loaded into an ambulance as I drove past the front of the hotel.” Faith informed him, as she drove the car away. “I hope he’s alright. What have I said that’s so funny?”
“How come Marita got the Hilton, and you got Flag Inn?” Faith asked, as they went into Alex’s room to get his bags.
“Different agencies. My Head Office always does things on the cheap.”
“Yeah, my pay didn’t come through Alex.” Faith said annoyed. “I had to spend the last two weeks shifting furniture for my Uncle Brian for cash.”
“Oh shit didn’t it? Sorry Faithya.” Alex went to the bathroom and washed his hands and face.
Faith sat on the back of a hotel couch. “So get up to anything you can tell me about?”
“No, it was the same old, same old. What about you?” Alex asked her.
“Oh dusted heaps of the undead. I got bitten by one, see.” Faith pulled back her turtle neck and showed him the bite mark.
“Hey that looks painful.” Alex peered concerned.
“Happened two days ago.” Faith pulled her turtle neck back up.
“You should wear a neck brace when you slay.” Alex joked, joining her sitting on the back of the couch.
“So Ms Covarrubias was with you all the time was she, while you were doing your boring secret agent, government conspiracy stuff?” Faith stared at the fabric on the couch, as if it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.
“No Marita stayed in Washington the whole time. I was the one doing field work.” Alex raised his eyebrow. “So run into Kenny?”
“Oh yeah, constantly.” Faith shrugged. “He’s mad keen on vampire slaying, he brought along his new girlfriend. Do you remember that girl Karen from Boston, the Video Store clerk?”
“Weren’t they room mates?” Alex remembered.
“Yes that’s right.” Faith picked at the seam of the couch.
“So you didn’t screw/fuck anyone else?” They both uttered simultaneously.
“No I didn’t.” Faith admitted.
“I thought Vampire slaying made you horny?” Alex said disbelievingly.
“Yeah one or two huh? I was taking out ten at a time nightly, and then moving heavy furniture round all day. I was just permanently frickin' exhausted. Plus I don’t want my family to hear I’m the neighborhood good time girl anymore.” Faith explained.
“Well it was the same for me basically. Stake outs, midnight meetings. Hardly had the time to jerk off, let alone have an affair with someone.” Alex commented.
“I had some good times. Me and Marie went dancing a lot, had me a coupla evil hangovers.”
“Yeah, I got hold of some excellent hashish, did some coke.” Alex shared. He caught sight of Faith’s face. Perhaps that had been unwise sharing that last part.
“With blondie right?” Faith accused.
“That was all we did together.” Krycek looked irritated. “You’re acting like a girlfriend again.”
“Yes you are.” Alex said firmly. “Leave it.”
“Was not acting like your frickin’ girlfriend.” Faith muttered under her breath.
“Do you want to sulk, or join me in the bedroom?” Alex asked her. Getting up off the couch and heading to his room. “We don’t have to leave for three hours.”
“I was not sulking!” Faith got up and walked over to him. “Are you gonna sort out my pay?”
“First thing tomorrow morning. You have to take into account time zones.” Alex explained. He put his arm round her. “It’s good to see you again Faith.”
Faith relaxed against him. “It’s not so bad seeing you either pal.”
Alex bent his head down to inhale the scent of her hair. He could feel himself start to unwind.
Faith put her arms round his waist. She looked up, her brown eyes meeting his green eyes. The two lovers smiled at each other.
Alex kissed her relieved, he was always frightened she’d reject him one day. He could taste the cigarettes, she’d tried to disguise with mouthwash.
He had to break her out of that habit. But he’d attempt that in Central America.
Right now he was only interested in making love to her. Alex always said ‘screw’ to her. But in his head that was what he was doing, making love to this wonderful girl. He wondered how Faith described their physical joining with one another in her mind.
Finally Faith thought, as Alex lowered his talented lips to her neck. She had been hanging out for a decent fuck for the last two weeks.