Five Things Greg Sanders Never Said to Sara Sidle
: Five Things Greg Sanders Never Said to Sara SidleAuthor
: Jedi ButtercupRating
: Not mine. Spoilers through Season 8. Requested by izhilzha.
Five Things Greg Sanders Never Said to Sara Sidle1)"I'd never test your DNA."
Greg has a habit of testing the DNA of the women he dates. Nick caught him doing it, and now the entire night shift teases him about it, but that hasn't stopped him yet. He's found it says more about them-- and is at least as significant-- as the mask they wear when they're dancing the mating dance with a new partner. Namely, him.
Sara, though: he already knows everything he needs to about her, just from working around her these last few years. He's seen her strength, her sense of justice, her determination, her deep heart: and, of course, lest someone forget, her physical beauty. Nothing in her DNA would tell him anything about her that's more important than what he already knows.2)"How do you keep the job from getting personal?"
Greg asked Nick a variation on that question once, back before getting stalked and then buried underground had worn off some of Nick's professional Teflon. He never quite got up the nerve to ask it of Sara, though. Because it's all too plain sometimes that she doesn't
Sometimes, it's a strength for her: it makes her more determined and driven to succeed. And it gives her a level of empathy he admires; no one ever has to nudge her
to remind her that underneath the fascinating science they're experimenting with, there are victims, villains, and tragedies that deserve all the respect the CSIs can give them. But it makes her fragile, too.
He sees the traces of tears, sometimes; he hears the rumors of drink; he knows she lives alone. But Greg's the funny guy in the lab, the younger guy she mentors, the one who looks up to her; being that for her is probably more supportive in the long run than trying to tear down those walls just to give her unasked-for advice. Much as he might wish otherwise.3)"He's not good enough for you."
Because he was
. This was Grissom they were talking about, the man who'd led the Las Vegas crime lab straight up the charts to second in the country. Their boss was one of the smartest people Greg knew, and if maybe sometimes he seemed more like a machine than a person, he made up for it by being the best Yoda an aspiring criminalist could ask for.
It's just that Yodas are always the ones who believe in duty over love, every time. Greg thinks Sara deserves someone who'll put her first instead of duty, and he doesn't know if he can trust Grissom to be that guy. But she's going to have to figure that out for herself. It's none of Greg's business, after all.4)"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
Okay, so he's laid some terrible lines on her over the years, but that one's a little too cheesy even for him. But when she showed up on the fannysmacking case-- when he was sitting there in pain, worried about the kid he'd hit and the guy the mob had been after, too bruised from the attack to even open his eyes and see for himself-- he'd wanted to use it, badly.
She came for him. She came for him
, not the scene, even though she didn't have to. And that meant more to him than he could say.5)"Goodbye."
Even if she hadn't run out of there so quickly-- even if she'd talked
to him at all about what was going on after they'd put her on swing shift, given him some kind of a clue what was coming-- Greg still wouldn't have said that word.
So, maybe she's sick of the job. Or maybe she's wised up and realized that Grissom is fifteen years older and even more emotionally constipated than she is, sometimes. Or maybe she's just too hurt right now to stay in the place where she was nearly killed
just because some psycho with a hate-crush on Grissom decided the best way to torment him
was to go through her
Whichever way the cookie crumbles, Greg can't believe-- Greg won't believe-- that he's never going to see her again. He's her friend-- they're all her friends-- and they care about her; and even if she tries to toss the baby out with the bathwater they're not going to let her.
"Goodbye" is too final a word. Greg would have used "until the next time," instead.