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This story is No. 3 in the series "Nickels and Dimes: Ficlet Collections". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Multiple fandoms, multiple characters, multiple Five Things responses. See first page for index of fandoms, characters, and prompts. (Newest: "4 Women Who Kissed Daniel Unexpectedly, and 1 Time He Made the First Move")

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Non-BtVS Crossovers(Recent Donor)jedibuttercupFR131814,19713431,91621 Sep 0629 Jun 10No

Five Books Hermione Granger Will Never Read

Title: Five Books Hermione Granger Will Never Read
Author: Jedi Buttercup
Rating: FR-13
Category: Harry Potter
Notes: Not mine. Spoilers up to OotP or so. Requested by anabels.

Five Books Hermione Granger Will Never Read

1) Sonnets of a Sorceror

It was possible, of course, that Ron had been exaggerating what his father told him about banned books the ministry had confiscated. And even, in this case, rather likely-- why should a book about *sonnets* cause one to speak in *limericks*? And surely there was a counter-curse-- the author must have have had some way of keeping him or herself from becoming affected as it was being written.

Still. Not being able to choose her words as she wished-- or even cast spells properly, for learning to fit them into limerick structure would be quite the chore-- would be a nightmare. Hermione might be a Gryffindor, but she isn't *that* foolish.

2) The Invisible Book of Invisibility

She actually *would* like to read a book about invisibility-- but even if one could find a copy in the first place, how would one distinguish the invisible text from the invisible paper it was written on?

Secretly, Hermione suspects that the stories about this book are really just the Wizarding World's version of "The Emperor With No Clothes".

3) The Dream Oracle

As *if* Hermione would ever consult a text that Professor Trelawney had recommended for her class!

4) The Handbook of Do-it-Yourself Broom Care

This is one gift-book she actually *didn't* crack open before wrapping it up to send to Harry. So she may be a little more knowledgeable about Quidditch than she used to be; that doesn't mean she needs to know the ins and outs of polishing a broom. (Er, at least, not yet).

and... 5) Anything with "Choose Your Own Adventure" in the title.

*Honestly*. It isn't as if she doesn't have enough adventure in her life already, and books are to meant to be educational, or at the very least entertaining. They should not be a means of self-gratification. (Not even if you *are* a famous Defense Against the Dark Arts professor).

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