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There's a little Homer Simpson in all of us

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Summary: Xander, Dawn & Jack O'Neill - three people so skilled in attracting trouble they can't even have breakfast together without getting sucked into another dimension. (BtVS / SG-1 / Aladdin / The Simpsons)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Cartoons > Simpsons, The
Stargate > General > Characters: Jack O'Neill
(Moderator)jrabbitFR1321,3580145,33421 Sep 0626 Sep 06Yes

Mission Improbable

A/N: I decided, I couldn't just leave them stuck there without a way home...

Just like in the old days, Jack mentally reviewed the plan with his team before they took up their positions for the raid. However, this time the "team" lacked the level of professionalism he was used to, and as for the plan... the last time he'd seen a plan like this, it was drawn up by Dick Dastardly in order to catch a pigeon.

"Are you sure you can't just magic us back to the real world," he asked Willow for the third time since they had found themselves stuck in Springfield.

"How many more times do I have to tell you? My magical power is drawn from nature, and there is no nature here - drawings of tree's just don't cut it," she replied. "This is the only way back."

"You're absolutely sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Ever the practical one, after discovering her magic did not work Willow had quickly realised that their best chance of returning to the real world lie with Professor Frink. She figured narrative causality would require that he not only had a newly devised invention on hand to return them back to Sunnydale, but would be more than willing to let her borrow it despite her being a complete stranger. Springfield was easy if you understood the rules.

However, it turned out that the "Dimensional Extrapolator" required a vast quantity of electrical power to operate - the professor hadn't be specific on how much, but she strongly suspected that in accordance with the world's ingrained pop-culture references, it would be 1.21 gigawatts. Since they didn't have a precisely forecast lightning strike available, she was going to have to hook it up directly to the generators at the nuclear power plant.

"I still don't see why we can't just break into the power plant, subdue the night shift, do whatever it is you gotta do to power that thing up, and skedaddle before anyone else knows we are there," said Jack.

"Because that's not the Springfield way," replied Willow. She'd spent a few days refining the plan and felt confident that it contained just enough unnecessary complexity to work flawlessly. They needed to get into the power plant, which meant one of them would have to get a job there, that someone being Xander. They couldn't fault her reasoning: she couldn't do it because she actually understood something about Nuclear Physics. Dawn was too young, and Jack was too likely to antagonise Mr Burns enough to get fired before he had time to sneak the rest of them into the building. That meant there needed to be a vacancy for Xander to fill, and the tried and tested way to create such a vacancy was to entice Homer Simpson into temporarily pursuing an alternate career. The problem was, none of them had any money or a job to offer him.

After a lengthy brainstorming session, Xander had come up with the idea of putting a leaflet into the Simpsons' letter box advertising for a "couch tester". After all, they had a couch, they could tell him the house was a simulated domestic environment, and most importantly, they had a TV to place in front of the couch, and it had cable. For a final touch, Jack attached some wires to a set of electronic kitchen scales and stuck the other ends to some plasters to create fake "medical equipment" to study how Homer's body reacted whilst he sat on the couch. However, they needed to something more to ensure Homer didn't loose interest and ask about when he would be paid. Hence the heist.

"You're sure Dawn is going to be safe?"

"Of course she'll be safe - this whole dimension is PG-13."

Dawn's role was to distract the all-male employees by posing at the front of the building. As far as Willow was concerned, if they were stuck here because of Dawn's redrawn legs, she was going to damn well make use of them. The other three would then sneak into the industrial bakery through the back entrance and grab as many boxes of donuts as they could carry.

The End

You have reached the end of "There's a little Homer Simpson in all of us". This story is complete.

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