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If Wishes Were Thestrals, We'd All Run Screaming

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Summary: Xander makes a wish and the Wizarding World will never be the same.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Xander-Centered(Current Donor)SusanAnthonyFR151758,655111649308,19326 Sep 063 Nov 11No
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Malfoy Anger Management Issues

Malfoy Anger Management Issues
008 Prompt 024: Anger
Professor Snape has a chat with an old friend


Lucius Malfoy was a busy man: he was a businessman, a politician, an advisor to the Minister of Magic (Lucius usually smirked when he considered that role), a Hogwarts Governor, a husband and a father. He had many responsibilities that took up his time as well as his extracurricular schemes, plots and plans that had the one goal of forwarding his family's wealth and power. (Not the least of which was trying to bring his disembodied Dark Lord back to life.)

He owned businesses and stock throughout the wizarding world that kept the Malfoy coffers full. He also had businesses in the muggle world but he generally left the care of those to his properly terrified muggle minions who forwarded him monthly reports. As successful as they were, those businesses were only something that would be needed if he and his family had to disappear quickly from the wizarding world. Malfoys always had back up plans for their back up plans, after all. The Malfoys were the pinnacle of Pureblood Society and had been so for many generations. Lucius was happily doing whatever he had to in order to maintain that status quo.

Seeing that he was such a busy man, the head of the Malfoy family was usually found in his study if he was at home rather than his plush office at the Ministry of Magic. Once the study door closed behind him, everyone in the manor knew that if they interrupted Mr. Malfoy there had better be a very good reason for doing so - such as catastrophic emergency or a Dark Lord sighting.

Severus Snape, however, had seen many more frightening things in his life than Lucius Malfoy in a snit so he had no problem with sauntering through his friend's study door late one morning with hardly a knock to announce his presence. Ignoring the glare he was receiving from Lucius, Lord Malfoy, the potions master walked across the room and gracefully dropped into one of the chairs in front of Malfoy's desk.

"Good morning, Lucius," he said in a pleasant tone which immediately set the blond man on edge. Severus Snape was *never* pleasant unless there was some sort of new and innovative potion to discuss or there was Gryffindor bashing to be had.

"Severus," Lucius replied in an even tone. "This is an unexpected...pleasure. You don't usually crawl up out of your dungeons over the summer. Something about combusting in the sunlight, I understand?"

Though he would never lower himself enough to actually grin at anyone, Lucius got the distinct impression that Severus was practically beaming at him.

"The rumors of my vampirism are vastly exaggerated, Lucius, as you well know," the potions master said, "considering that you're the source of them."

A memory suddenly flashed before Lucius, of him and another seventh year student, George Goyle, terrorizing the first and second year Slytherins with tales of the sixth year Severus Snape's horrible curse of vampirism, complete with gory details and demonstrations. Considering Severus' habit of studying in the Slytherin Common room, the room was completely empty of first and second year students for most of the year.

Lucius' lips barely quirked upwards for a moment. "I have no idea what you mean, Severus," he said as he set his quill down on his desk.

"I'm sure you don't," his friend responded dryly.

Their eyes met for a moment, sharing a slight smile at the memory of Severus finally finding out about the rumor his friends had started and the young potions prodigy's revenge. Not that he didn't revel in the firsties' fear of him but Severus had had a hard time explaining it to his Head of House.

"Now, Severus, what brings you out of your dungeon?" Lucius asked. Severus' face settled back into an expressionless mask and Lord Malfoy prepared himself for something unpleasant.

"Trelawney's spouted off another prophecy," Severus said with no preamble.

Lucius watched his friend's face, waiting for him to say something else. Severus remained quiet and Malfoy's brows rose slightly.

"And?"

"Basically she said the Dark Lord was going to be defeated."

Lucius' expression turned dark for a moment before he cleared it and sat back in his chair. "Trelawney is nothing but a fraud," he finally stated. "She's prophesying something that has already happened."

Severus didn't move. "This is her second prophecy. The first one she gave was the one that sent the Dark Lord to kill the Harrises. However, since Voldemort didn't wait until he had the full prophecy, he brought it about by trying to kill the Harris child. Unfortunate, but fairly typical prophecy behavior."

"What are you talking about?" Malfoy demanded. "He went to kill the Harris child because the prophecy said the boy who had the power to vanquish him was born as the seventh month dies. It was either Harris or the Longbottom whelp."

Severus studied his friend for a long moment before he spoke again, his smooth voice echoing slightly in the large room.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives...The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."

Lucius paled as he listened to Severus' words and said nothing after the man repeated Trelawney's prophecy.

After a few minutes, Severus continued. "Our informant didn't have the whole prophecy."

Lucius snarled before he slammed his hand down on his desk. "Who was it, Severus? Who brought that incomplete information to the Dark Lord?"

The potions master grimaced inwardly for a moment. He certainly didn't want Lucius finding out the informant had been himself.

"It doesn't matter. Lucius, the Dark Lord *knew* he didn't have the whole prophecy. He *knew* and he chose to proceed anyway and in doing so, fulfilled it. Somehow, he marked the Harris boy as his equal - thus the scar - and Harris obviously took offence to being marked and in return, whacked the Dark Lord."

"What do you mean, 'whacked the Dark Lord'?" the blond aristocrat asked flatly. "The prophecy says vanquished!"

Severus rolled his eyes and sighed loudly.

"Vanquished, whacked, offed, whatever. The end result was the same." The teacher leaned forward and gripped the arms of the chair he sat in. "The point I'm trying to make is that the first prophecy at least gave Voldemort a chance at victory. Had he listened to the whole thing, he could have strangled the little brat and that would have been that." The potions master pressed his lips together before he leaned back into his chair. "This new prophecy states in an unusually straightforward manner that the Dark Lord *will* be defeated."

Malfoy's hands curled into fists. "Did you hear it spoken?"

"The frizzy old bat spouted it off at breakfast!" Severus replied flatly. "It completely ruined my morning and there wasn't a single Gryffindor in the castle for me to take points off of."

"Severus," Lucius asked through gritted teeth. "What was the prophecy?"

The potions master considered his friend for a long moment before he pulled out a folded sheet of parchment from a pocket. With quiet deliberation, he unfolded the sheet and read the prophecy.

"Woe. Woe. Woe unto the dark lord. The power he knows not, the white knight, has arrived. Experience and innocence in one he will prove the betrayed innocent and prove the betrayer guilty. The light is strengthened with knowledge. The dark is weakened with reason. Woe unto the dark lord for the white knight has arrived and he will surely Kick. His. Ass."

Lucius leaned back and blinked a few times. "Kick his ass?" he said, his tone incredulous.

Severus just shrugged as he folded and re-pocketed the parchment. "No one has ever accused Sybil of eloquence."

Malfoy glared for a moment. "Who is this White Knight?" he asked after a long minute of consideration.

"Dumbledore isn't certain," Severus said. "Trelawney was talking about the Harris brat before she suddenly decided to bless us with this new headache. But for all we know, it might be a completely different person."

Lucius rubbed his suddenly aching forehead for a moment before he muttered something under his breath. Severus just smirked and stood.

"Well, that's all the good news I wanted to share, Luc," he said with a mocking half-bow. "I shall now return to my dungeon. I find the summer sun is just too bright to deal with," he finished, glancing at the windows across the room with distaste.

"Severus," Malfoy growled as he stood and followed his friend to the door. "This is serious! What if the Dark Lord finds out about this prophecy?"

The younger wizard faced his friend. "It doesn't matter, Luc. If the Dark Lord returns, we know exactly what will happen to him." Severus smirked slightly. "Or at least we know what will happen to his arse."

And with that, Severus walked out the door and closed it quietly behind him. Lucius stared at the door for a long moment before he audibly ground his teeth and reached for his wand.

Moments later, word reached the ever wary Malfoy house elves in the kitchen that they would have another major clean up job in the study once the Master had retreated to another location. Ibby was the first house elf to start a betting pool as to how long it would take the Master to trash his study and what - if anything - would be left standing. Flossy opened up betting as to whether Master would begin drinking before or after he stormed from the house and how long it would take him to find his way home. The previous record was a completely leveled study - no furniture, vases, plants left standing - and three days, which had happened earlier in the year after the never-spoken-of incident with a former Malfoy House elf called Dobby (now referred to as The-Elf-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named-In-Master's-presence).

Elves were stationed outside the study doors and easily heard thumps, smashes, crashes and some quite inventive cursing (one of the elves was busily jotting down the new words Master was coming up with for the Big Book of Malfoy Invectives that they kept in the kitchens). The entire group shuddered in horror as a particularly virulent curse was followed by a huge crash indicating that the prized Malfoy chandelier was going to have to be repaired again. The elves glanced at each other nervously because the current Master had only smashed the study chandelier once and that had been shortly after Xander Harris Sir had whacked the Dark Lord.

"We's should prepare for the worst," the head House Elf, Oxly, said gravely.

"Should we's warn the Mrs. Master?" one of the older elves asked in a trembling tone. He glanced around fearfully. The head Elf shook his head.

"No, the Mrs. Master is waxing her legs today. We's all is staying far away from the East Wing," Oxly said firmly to the relief of his elves. He looked at one of his underlings sternly. "Ribby, you answer any call from the Master. Makes sure to takes a decanter of fire whisky with you."

Ribby paled slightly and then nodded, knowing he was the most agile of the house elves and could likely dodge and pop if he needed to.

Another scream and crash behind the study door indicated the windows had joined the chandelier in pieces inside and outside the house. Most of the elves grimaced except for one small female who bounced happily. She'd placed a bet with Flossy for complete devastation of the study and it sounded as though she was going to win the pool this time.

Inside the study, Lucius Malfoy stalked over to the remaining piece of furniture in the room and picked up a full decanter of whiskey and a glass. Then he strode back to the now open windows, turned and blasted the liquor cabinet with a curse that reduced it to splinters. Then he waved his wand to rid the windowsill of glass fragments before he seated himself. He pocketed his wand and carefully poured himself a glass of whiskey. Then he drank the entire glass in one shot before he surveyed the decimated study in satisfaction.

Narcissa would not be happy, he thought absently, but it was her own fault. She should have known better than to put her mother's exceedingly ugly wedding anniversary gift, a tall, thick vase decorated in horrendous colors of red and gold, in his study. He wouldn't be surprised if Narcissa's mother had given them the awful thing because she knew where it would end up.

It had been the first thing to go.

Tiredly, he glanced out into the bright late morning sunlight and grimaced. He could understand Severus' words from earlier. It was just so *bright* outside.

With a sigh, Lucius poured himself another drink and set the decanter down on the sill. He was going to have to rethink all his plans and back-up plans now, damn Severus to Modrid's Hell. The stupid sod knew that prophecy was going to cause problems and purposely brought it at a time that would ruin his whole day. But Lucius was not going to let the Malfoy name be destroyed by following a doomed Dark Lord no matter how satisfying it was to smite muggles and mudbloods.

His Lord *was* going to be resurrected one way or the other, Malfoy had no doubt about that. Voldemort was nothing if not insanely determined to come back even if at the moment he wasn't much more but a puff of foul-smelling vapor.

Lucius was going to have to think of ways to keep himself and his family safe and in power until this White Knight bastard took care of the Dark Lord. He grimaced dramatically as he realized that would possibly mean allying himself with ::shudder:: Dumbledore.

No, he absolutely refused to sink so low. He'd figure out some way to keep the Malfoy name strong without running to those pansy light wizards. Lucius pondered as he drank his whiskey.

Hummmm.

Perhaps this White Knight bastard would need a right-hand man.

###

It was almost an hour later before someone hesitantly tapped on his study door. Lucius answered absently from his perch on the windowsill and the door swung open to admit his son. Draco walked only a few steps into the room before he stopped and stared.

"Father?" he asked faintly as he eyed the remains of the chandelier. "What happened?"

Lucius eyed his heir and took another sip of whiskey. "Severus came by. We had some things to discuss. Was there something else?"

Draco blinked and looked around at the destruction of his father's favorite room but he didn't ask anymore. Long experience had taught him that if his father didn't volunteer information, Draco wasn't going to get it just by asking, and obviously Lord Malfoy was not in the mood. He made a note to interrogate the house elves later.

"Yes, actually," Draco said as he carefully made his way across the rubble on covering the floor. "I ran into Xander Harris in Diagon Alley."

Draco was interested to notice the exceedingly dark look that passed over his father's face before his expression returned to one of polite interest. "Where did you see him?"

"The Magical Menagerie. I went to get Tiamat some owl treats, which they didn't have, by the way," Draco said, his lip curling in a brief display of contempt for any store that didn't stock exactly what he needed.

Lucius didn't respond but waited for his son to continue.

"He was there getting some scruffy dog a bath but while we were waiting, he very disrespectfully interrupted my conversation with the shopkeeper to ask me a stupid question. He was quite rude, commoner that he is."

Lord Malfoy sighed inwardly and took a deeper drink of his whiskey. He wondered if he'd ever been as annoying as his son was.

Lucius snorted. Of course he hadn't been.

"Anyway, he asked this stupid question and now I can't stop thinking about it." Draco pinned his father with a curious gray gaze. "Father, has a Malfoy ever been turned by a vampire and not been torched immediately thereafter?"

Lucius blinked for a moment and then slowly dropped his head into the hand not currently gripping his whiskey glass like a vise. His tone sounded quite long-suffering when he spoke again.

"Draco, just how exactly did you hear about Great Uncle William?"

###

Severus climbed the stairs to the Headmaster's Office with a steady gait. He concentrated on shoring up his mental shields as he was well aware that Albus had a habit of randomly peaking into minds during conversations. Not that he had anything to hide just now. Most of his secrets were well buried behind his mental shields but he just hated knowing anyone was browsing his thoughts as though they were an issue of the Daily Prophet.

With a final, silent sigh, the potions master reached the top of the stairs and knocked on the Headmaster's door. After a faint call of 'Come in', he entered Dumbledore's office and stalked across the room before seating himself before Albus' desk.

"No, I do not want a lemon drop," he stated up front before the Headmaster could even speak. Albus just smiled.

"Perhaps some taffy, then?" he offered, gesturing at another dish on the edge of his desk filled with small, wrapped candies. Severus just scowled and shook his head. "Very well, then," Dumbledore said before he settled his elbows on the desk and propped his chin on his hands. "What did Mr. Malfoy have to say?"

"He was quite upset though he didn't show it," Severus said with a frown. "He probably destroyed several valuable somethings after I left but hopefully once he starts thinking rationally again, he will realize exactly what Trelawney's prophecy really means."

"Very good," Dumbledore replied as he leaned back in his seat. "I know that Voldemort is going to find a way back into another body eventually. It would be to our advantage if we didn't have to worry about Lord Malfoy joining him again. The man is entirely too powerful as it is and without his right hand Malfoy to finance more alliances, Voldemort won't rise as quickly as before."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "If the Dark Lord does resurrect himself, this White Knight had better act quickly. Lucius is only concerned with himself and his family and should it seem as if the Dark Lord will have time to strike at Lucius for *not* coming to his side, Lucius will show every intent of being there."

"Yes, that is the coil, is it not?" Albus replied with a thoughtful nod. "There is no way to know, of course." The old wizard sighed as he looked up at his companion. "We will just have to wait and see. If it comes down to it, we can offer the Malfoys Sanctuary, from Voldemort and the Ministry, if it means we can deny the Malfoy prestige and money from them both."

"It would help if we knew *who* this White Knight is?" Severus said with a pointed look. "Is it Harris?"

"Severus, you heard the prophesy at the same time I did," Albus replied as he reached forward to grab a lemon drop. He popped it in his mouth and hummed happily for a moment. "We have never heard that moniker attached to Xander before though that means nothing in the grand scheme of magic. Again, we will just have to wait and see."

The potions master just managed to keep his eyes from rolling at the Headmaster's jovial tone. Merlin, but he absolutely *hated* prophecies. It probably *was* Harris. Severus doubted there was anyone who could irritate him more than the dratted Boy-Who-Lived.

"Now, Severus, enough of that. Would you like some tea?" Albus asked happily as he waved his hand and a tea set appeared on his desk. "It's lemon flavored," he said in a tempting tone.

Severus just looked at him flatly and wondered if trying to redeem himself from being a Death Eater who had killed scores of people was worth having to deal with a constantly high Headmaster.
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