I don't own Smallville or Buffy or Angel or even Supernatural, as much as I'd like to. This is written purely for fun and not profit.
Lex/Zod looked around at the very nondescript surroundings he suddenly found himself. "Where is this place?"
No answer was immediately forthcoming, and he started walking in a randomly chosen direction, but the shadowy background never changed. After several minutes with no changes in background, no matter how far he walked, he simply stopped and began considering his situation.
Was this some strange Earth version of the Phantom Zone? Some trap by Jor-el or even Kal-el? Unlikely. Brainiac would have had at least some information about it if that were the case, and if Fine had the information, Zod would have the information.
Suddenly a voice spoke out behind him. "Oi mate, sorry I'm running late, was busy giving those Winchester blokes a remedial lesson."
A bleached blond man in a leather duster walked dramatically towards him "Fine?"
"You're not really my type, luv, but thanks for the compliment."
"Brainiac, what's the meaning of this?" Zod demanded.
"Not quite sure what you're on about, Spike's the name. We should really get on with the lessons, mate."
"Lessons? In what would you presume to give me lessons?" Zod asked, insulted.
"Being Hot in Leather 101: the Importance of Dramatic Movement." The blonde said loftily before smirking at Zod.
Zod was beyond confused, but one never let others see weakness so he simply demanded the information that was his due. "Who sent you?"
"The Powers decided you'd need classes what with your proclivity to leather, mate. Nothing to worry about."
"The Powers? What Powers, and how do they know my clothing preferences?" Zod asked, rather infuriated at the idea of some 'Powers' presuming to make any kind of decision in his stead.
"CW muckity mucks. They figure if you're gonna be up with the leather you'd need lessons from the masters. Just count yourself lucky you didn't get me poofy sire. He'd spend most of the time trying to talk you round to the white hat side of the fence. Me, I don't rightly care. Good, bad, it's all relative and eventually you'll either get your arse handed to you, or have a right poncy epiphany and join the side of the angels. No pun intended."
"Riiight." Zod nodded in a dazed manner.
"Right. So let's get this lesson going, we'll start with the coat swoop." Spike smiled at his newest student.
This is purely the result of an insane plot bunny that refused to die and required exorcism. Inspired by the latest Smallville commercials that have Zod/Lex landing in front of Clark in that lovely flowing leather coat.