BtVs created by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Marvel U by parent company and its writers/artists. Characters from Shrek are owned by Dreamworks.

Riversong's #908: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?
------------------------------------------------------------------


He wanders the streets of London at night.

He is rather bored, until he stumbles upon a young woman staking a vampire.

He approaches, wanting to congratulate her on her technique.

She spins around, takes one look at him and, despite the immense size difference, she practically levitates and hits him hard directly on the chin.

A punch that hard from a girl that size that looks this good?

This was foreplay.

He rubs his face, grins, and steps forward.

''''

She falls hard, cracking her head soundly on the sidewalk.

After a while, she moans and reaches an arm around to rub the bump.

Her wings flutter weakly.

Suddenly, someone is there, helping her to her feet.

"Are you alright?"

She opens her eyes, to see a gorgeous redhead.

Much nicer than the last ungrateful one.

This wasn't home, but it would do.

She's alive.

Things are looking up.

'''

Xander and Willow and Dawn are all hovering around the dinner table, waiting for Buffy to arrive with the man she'd been seeing.

Apparently, it was a long distance relationship.

"How'd Buffy describe him? Tall, strong, caring, handsome, used to the night life, someone she doesn't have to hide her abilities from?"

"Yeah, but the guy's name is Cain Marko."

"Seriously, the chances of the guy being or looking anything like that Cain Marko are nil. He's probably a 160-pound ninja with glasses."

"They're here!"

"Hold up," Xander states, getting there first. "Xander gets the door."

He opens it, but the smirk is wiped off his face when he takes in the sight of the towering brown-haired guy.

He's in a nice white suit, free of the bolted red and brown leather he wears to work, but he's still very recognizable.

Buffy is perched on the guy's massive shoulder. She idly kicks her feet, then slides to the ground, catching her stunned friend in a hug.

"Xander, I'd like you to meet-"

"Oh, my God!" Xander yells. "You're dating the actual Juggernaut? From the Comics??"

"Yeah," she states, walking into the house, her boyfriend close behind. "Remember that portal I got pushed through? I managed to re-open it on my own and well, we've been seeing each other. I just thought..."

"Buffy!" Willow yells. "He's an evil mutant! You can't just-"

"Time out," Cain says. "I haven't been bad for several years now. I made peace with my step-brother and I'm a major part of a superhero team back in my reality's London. Also, I've never been a mutant."

Xander retorts: "Fine, 'Slayer dates Gem-Freak', I can see the headlines now."

"Hey! Look you guys, he's done some bad stuff in his past, but he's on the level. Give him a chance."

"But Buffy, isn't he, you know, kinda big?" Willow asks, raising an eyebrow.

Buffy's blush is interrupted by a knock on the door behind them.

Willow pushes past the Slayer to answer it.

"So, this is your new girl?" Xander asks. "I haven't heard much about her besides her being short, magical, refined and not having pointed ears."

"Yeah, but she's-" Willow says, then opens the door to reveal a foxy gray-haired woman with glasses, a good body, good fashion sense and small wings.

"You're dating a pixie?"

"You're dating someone older than our mothers?"

Dawn perks up. "Maybe now that I'm a couple years old someone sent me a fairy godmother. In which case you can't be dating her, 'cause, ewww..."

She gets several odd glances and shuts up.


"Are you kidding me?" Cain asks. "Don't you recognize her?"

After several blank looks he continues: "Oh right, the timeline thing. She's the evil fairy godmother from Shrek 2."

"What? Sammy was interested in those kinds of movies." He finishes, wincing at a related memory.

"Oh, my God! They're already up to Shrek 2 in your reality? Can I come visit?"

"Xander!"

Willow turns to her newest flame and mouths: 'evil?'

"Honey," the winged woman says, fluttering closer. "We all have our dark sides."