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Wings and a Helmet Come to Dinner

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This story is No. 3 in the series "Mutant Relations". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Response to #908. Willow and Buffy choose to introduce their dates on the same night.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > General
Movies > Shrek
(Current Donor)ShieldageFR717641104,63127 Sep 0627 Sep 06Yes
BtVs created by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Marvel U by parent company and its writers/artists. Shrek by Dreamworks.

Riversong's #908: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?



A Night in the Marvel Universe

Lacking something better to do, he wandered the streets of London at night.

He was rather bored, until he stumbled upon a young woman staking a vampire.

He approached, wanting to congratulate her on her technique.

She spun around, took one look at him and, overcoming the immense size difference, she practically levitated - hitting him hard directly on the chin.

A punch that hard from a girl that size that looked that good?

That was foreplay.

He rubbed his face, grinned, and stepped forward.


A Cloudy Day atop a Hellmouth

Her long, hard fall came to a stop came to an end when she cracked her head soundly on the sidewalk.

After a while she moaned, reaching an arm around to rub the bump.

Her wings fluttered weakly.


Suddenly, someone was there, helping her to her feet.

"Are you alright?"

She opened her eyes, to see a gorgeous redhead.

Much nicer than the last ungrateful one.

This wasn't home, but it would do.

She was alive.

Things were looking up.


A Night at Scooby Headquarters

Xander, Dawn and Willow were all hovering around the dinner table, waiting for Buffy to arrive with the man she'd been seeing.


Apparently, it was a long distance relationship.


"How'd Buffy describe him? Tall, strong, caring, handsome, used to the night life... Someone she doesn't have to hide her abilities from?"

"Yeah, but the guy's name is Cain Marko."

"Seriously, the chances of the guy being or looking anything like that Cain Marko are nil. He's probably a hundred-sixty-pound ninja with glasses."

"They're here!"

"Hold up," Xander stated, getting there first. "Xander gets the door."

He opened it, but the smirk was wiped off his face at the sight of the towering brown-haired guy.

The man was in a nice white suit, free of the bolted red and brown leather he normally wore to work, but he was still very recognizable.

Buffy was perched on the guy's massive shoulder. She idly kicked her feet, then slid to the ground to catch her stunned friend in a hug. "Xander, I'd like you to meet-"

"Oh, my God!" Xander yelled over the top of her head. "You're dating the actual Juggernaut? From the comics?"

"Yeah," she stated as she walked into the house, her boyfriend close behind. "Remember that portal I got pushed through? I managed to re-open it on my own and well, we've been seeing each other. I just thought..."

"Buffy!" Willow yelled. "He's an evil mutant! You can't just-"

"Time out," Cain said. "I haven't been bad for several years now. I made peace with my step-brother and I'm a major part of a superhero team back in my reality's London. Also, I've never been a mutant."

After running through in his head what he remembered of the guy's artifact-based god-of-destruction divine power-up, Xander retorted: "Fine, 'Slayer dates gemfreak', I can see the headlines now."

"Hey! Look, you guys, he's done some bad stuff in his past, but he's on the level. Give him a chance."

"But, Buffy, isn't he, you know, kinda big?" Willow asked, raising an eyebrow.

Buffy's blush was interrupted by a knock on the door behind them.


Willow pushed past the Slayer to answer it.


"So, this is your new girl?" Xander asked. "I haven't heard much about her besides her being short, magical, refined and not having pointed ears."

"Yeah, but she's-" Willow said as she opened the door. Standing there was a foxy gray-haired woman with glasses, a good body, good fashion sense and small wings.

"You're dating a pixie?"

"You're dating someone older than our mothers?"

Dawn perked up. "Maybe now that I'm a couple years old someone sent me a fairy godmother. In which case you can't be dating her, 'cause, ewww..."

Noticing the odd glances being sent her way, she shut up.


"Are you kidding me?" Cain asked. "Don't you recognize her?" After receiving several blank looks, he shook his head. "Oh right, the timeline thing. She's the evil fairy godmother from Shrek 2... What? Sammy was interested in those kinds of movies," he finished, wincing at a related memory.

"Oh, my God! They're already up to Shrek 2 in your reality? Can I come visit?"

"Xander!"

Willow turned to her newest flame and mouthed: 'evil?'

"Honey," the winged woman said, fluttering closer. "We all have our dark sides."

The End

You have reached the end of "Wings and a Helmet Come to Dinner". This story is complete.

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