VALENTINES ACROSS THE MULTIVERSE 2.
By Dave Turner.
STORY: WILLOW AND KENNEDY BALCONY SCENE.
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or any of the works of Bill Shakespeare. I think you’ll be able to tell which bits are Bill’s and which bits are mine.
Crossover: BtVS with ‘Romeo and Juliet’ (The Balcony Scene).
Spelling and Grammar: Written in glorious English, English! Spelling and grammar is English.
Timeline: For Romeo and Juliet it’s Act Two, Scene Two. For Willow and Kennedy it’s…whenever!
Warnings: Lesbian relationship.
Note: This story owes more to ‘Blackadder’ than Shakespeare in the way I’ve written it. But its not a Blackadder crossover. I’d like to point out that I really do like Shakespeare’s works…honest.
Also, I never felt that Joss Whedon made enough of Willow’s Jewishness, so…!
Summery; After gatecrashing a party, Kennedy tries to chat-up a girl on a balcony.
The Willow and Kennedy Balcony Scene.
Slightly drunk after gatecrashing the Rosenberg’s masked ball; Kennedy, a young Slayer of the House of DeSilver, is lurching uncertainly through the darkness of the Rosenberg’s orchard. Catching her rapier between her legs she stumbles on an apple and falls heavily on her behind.
“Soft?” She mutters as she hauls herself to her feet with the aid of an apple tree. She rubs her bruised bottom, and then gazes up at the nearby Rosenberg house. Seeing a light come on in a window she runs quietly closer dodging between the apple trees until she can get a good look at what’s going on.
“What light through yonder window breaks?” She asks the nearby trees, “It is the East and Willow is the sun!” Kennedy pauses before saying, “She’s a right little hottie that one! I wouldn’t mind seeing what’s under her skirts!”
Kennedy giggles to herself having said in two short sentences what it would take a certain playwright paragraphs of meaningless Elizabethan drivel to say.
“Oy vay.” Sighs Willow from her balcony.
“She speaks!” Exclaims Kennedy in unwarranted surprise, “Oh speak again, bright angel, for thou art…” ‘Hold on,’ thinks Kennedy, ‘do I really want a girl who babbles on incessantly about anything and everything?’
“Mind you,” Kennedy adds to herself, “With my tongue half way down her throat she won’t be able to say much” She considers this for a moment, liking the idea she shuts up to listen to what the girl on the balcony is blathering on about.
“O Kennedy, Kennedy! Wherefore art thou Kennedy, my-life?” Willow cries, “Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be sworn my love and no longer be a DeSilver, already.”
Below in the orchard Kennedy scratches her head; “Shall I hear more of this?” She wonders, “Or shall I butt in and shut her up?”
“Oy! ‘Tis but your name, already, that’s my enemy. Thou art thy self…” Willow babbles on to herself about names, and whether a rose would smell any different if it was called Eric.
Listening with half an ear, on the off chance that the girl on the balcony might say something interesting. Kennedy picks up an apple from the ground and throws it into the air. She whips out her rapier and with deft sword strokes peals it, and slices it into quarters before catching it in her free hand. She pops a piece of apple into her mouth. Willow is still droning on above her.
“…is no part of thee, take all myself.” Willow falls silent for a moment before sighing, “Already.” In the manner of an afterthought.
Caught a bit on the hop Kennedy spits out a mouth full of apple and coughs to clear her throat.
“I take thee at thy word; Or anywhere else given half the chance!” Smirks Kennedy, “Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptised.” Then she mutters under her breath, “After all what sort of name is ‘Kennedy’ for a girl?” Louder she calls, “Henceforth I never will be Kennedy.” Again under her breath, “If it means I can get into your knickers!”
“My-life, already!” Ejaculated Willow, “What woman art thou, that thus bescreened,” Willow’s eyebrows draw together in puzzlement, “ Bescreened? Whatever, in the night so stumblest on my counsel?”
“Kennedy DeSilver, at your service, gorgeous!” Called Kennedy from the orchard, thus saving herself a good paragraph of unnecessary dialogue.
“Oy vay! My ears have not drunk a hundred words of thy tongue’s…” Began Willow.
“Tongues? Ears?” Wondered Kennedy, “This could be good!”
“…Art thou not Kennedy and a DeSilver?” Willow finishes, eventually.
“Duh yes!” Replies Kennedy looking up at the window.
“How comest thou hither?” Willow asks. “Tell me!” She whines and stamps her foot in petulant rage, “The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,” She complains, “And the place death, considering who thou art, if any of my kinsmen find thee here.”
“What can I say?” Replied Kennedy, “I’m a Slayer. Y’know, leaps high walls in a single bound, enough energy to keep going all night…that sort of thing.”
“If they do see thee, they will murder thee, already.” Willow informs Kennedy.
“I laugh at twenty of their swords,” Called Kennedy boastfully, “One look from you and I’m proof against their blades.”
“I’d actually rather they didn’t see you…already.” Willow explains.
“Look,” Said Kennedy with her hands apon her hips, “I could ramble on about having ‘night’s cloak to hide me’ and all that bollix. But I’d be a lot safer if I was up there with you.”
“Just a minute,” Calls Willow, “By whose direction found’st thou out this place…umm my-life?”
“Hey look,” Replies Kennedy getting a little fed up of all this chit-chat, “We could stand here all night an’ play ‘Twenty Questions’, But, I’ve got a patrol to go on, vampires to stab, so tell me how to get up to that balcony so we can have some fun.”
“Oy vay! You’re a right sweet talker aren’t you?” Willow calls down. “You fair make a maidens cheek blush, you silvered tongued devil, already!”
“I’ll make more than your cheek blush with my silvered tongue.” Replies Kennedy saucily.
“Oy vay! My-life already!” Willow cries shocked at such boldness.
Kennedy starts to climb the wall towards Willow’s balcony.
“Hey!” Cries Willow, “There’s a ladder just ‘round the corner, use that. You don’t want to rip your tights.”
Kennedy jumps down from the wall and runs ‘round the corner of the house. Moments later she reappears with the ladder she sets it against the wall and starts to climb. She shoots up the ladder like a rat up a drainpipe! At the top she clambers onto the balcony and falls into Willow’s waiting arms.
They kiss passionately, Kennedy probing with her tongue as they run their hands over each other’s bodies. Kennedy’s fingers were thwarted, however, by Willow’s tight-laced bodice. She stands back in perplexity.
“O’ wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?” She asks.
“What satisfaction canst thou have tonight?” Asks Willow coyly.
“Get thy booby’s out for the girls?” Kennedy suggests.
“I’d gave thee mine before thou didst request it.” States Willow, “Use your knife to cut the bloody knot!”
Kennedy pulls out her dagger and starts to work on the lacing of Willow’s bodice.
“What’s this made of?” She asks, “Steel cable?”
“COO-EEEE!” Comes a call from inside the house.
“NURSIE!” Squeaks Willow in panic.
Kennedy drops to her knees and disappears under Willow’s skirts.
“Good Nurse!” Calls Willow, then more quietly to Kennedy, “Hey watch what you’re doing down THERE!…OY VAY!” She moans loudly.
“’Ere what’s going on out there?” Calls the Nurse from inside.
“N…nothING!” Cries Willow, “I…I’ll be(gasp!)in p…present-LEEEEE!”
“You’d better come in now dearie,” Calls the Nurse, “Or you’ll catch your death of cold.”
“I COME anon!!!” Gasps Willow.
“Madam?” Queries the nurse.
“By and by,” Pants Willow hanging on to the balcony for support, “I COME!” She screams.
Kennedy reappears from under Willow’s skirts as she tries to remove something from between her teeth.
“I’d better be off!” She announces in a loud whisper, and swings a leg over the balcony.
“Bleedin’ right!” Says Willow her bosom heaving, “Good night…a thousand times good night! Now bugger off!”
Kennedy starts to scrabble over the balcony.
“Hist! Kennedy!” Whispers Willow.
“No I’m not!” Replies Kennedy indignantly, “I had a few earlier but I’m quite sober now!”
“Maybe we could try some bondage next time?” Asks Willow, “Already.” She adds for good measure.
‘Got a right little goer here!’ Thinks Kennedy. Then aloud she says, “Shall I bring the ropes?”
“Don’t bother I’ve got some already…already!”
“What o’clock tomorrow?” Asks Kennedy.
“Nine o’clock? And I’ll get rid of the nurse.” Willow kicks off her knickers that have fallen around her ankles and rushes to the edge of the balcony where she shares one last parting kiss with her new lover. She waves her knickers as Kennedy climbs down the ladder.
“Good night, good night!” She calls quietly, “Parting is such sweet sorrow, my-life. That I shall say good night till it be morrow, already.”
“You’ll want me out of the house then tomorrow night?” Asks the nurse from behind Willow.
“If you wouldn’t mind.” Replies Willow turning to her old nurse.
“Oy!” The nurse replies with a heavy sigh, “I can go to my sister’s.”
Down in the orchard Kennedy runs silently between the trees. She springs up onto the wall, and then glances back towards the house.
“Sleep dwell upon thine eyes, ‘cause tomorrow I’m going to get a piece of your sweet ass!”
She jumps down from the wall; there is a loud crash as she lands on a sleeping tinker.
“Bugger!” She cries, and then runs off into the dark.