Title: Invisible Idiot
Rating: T for Teen
Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff. Those Guys over at Sony (et al) and Mutant Enemy (et al) do. No cash made, just fun had. I promise I won't break 'em, and I'll put 'em back in the case when I'm done.
Notes: This is one of my entries for the "Stargate Sunnydale Contest" over at the livejournal community "royalscribbling". Enjoy.
The city’s alarms started blaring.
Elizabeth Weir asked, “Who is it?”
Radek Zelenka replied, “It is the relay space station.”
“Thank God,” Weir commented. “Lower the shield!” The leader of the Atlantis base went down into the gateroom proper to greet her guests.
Two young women broke the surface tension of the event horizon. “Miss Summers, welcome to Atlantis. Jean,” her grin went wider, “Welcome back.”
“It’s nice to see you again, Elizabeth,” Jeannie responded, “So, what’s my brother done this time?”
“Perhaps we should adjourn to my office.”
“Okay. I’m still not sure I understand why I’m here,” Jeannie replied. “Invisible people aren’t in my area of expertise.”
“That’s true, but you ARE the world’s leading expert on Rodney McKay. At first – after the accident – he was just as he normally is, only invisible. But after a while, he got... giddy. He started pranking people, and the pranks have been getting more and more dangerous and destructive.”
Jeannie’s eyes widened. “Is that why Radek looks like someone got him with woad?”
“Yes. John Shepherd is currently sporting a Mohawk, and Teyla has what looks to be a henna tattoo of an ‘L’ on her forehead. All of Carson Beckett’s pants are missing – he’s been wearing kilts for the last few weeks. And Laura Cadman now has a large assortment of very short khaki cut-offs.”
“What’d he do to you?”
Weir shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “I take it that you haven’t noticed my extensive use of eyebrow pencil?”
Deciding to let that one go, she inquired, “Okay, why don’t you just use the city’s sensors to find him and turn him back?”
“He doesn’t show up on them. It’s something to do with the cloaking field.”
For the first time since the meeting began, the enigmatic Miss Summers spoke. “Well, that explains why I’m here.”
“Exactly,” Weir confirmed.
Jeannie looked confused. She said as much.
“Mrs. Miller: Invisible people ARE in my area of expertise." Summers paused for a moment. "Okay. The plan is for you to flush him out, and me to take him down.”
“Excuse me?!” Jeannie was alarmed.
Buffy was amused. “Relax. We’re not going to kill him. I don’t work that way,” she explained.
“Mare, this is Jeannie.”
Somewhere out in the city, Rodney McKay perked up and listened.
“If you can hear me, please come to Doctor Weir’s office. I don’t want them to shoot you – especially now that we’re getting along again.”
He went over to the nearest PA button. “What do you mean, shoot me?!”
Back in the control room, Zelenka was motioning frantically to Buffy and Elizabeth. Buffy looked at the readout, nodded, and took off like a shot.
Elizabeth motioned that she should keep talking. “Keep going,” she whispered.
“General Landry was about to send in a platoon of Marines with TER’s to find you, and their orders were going to be to shoot you. Lieutenant Colonel Carter suggested that they get me out here to try to reason with you.”
“General Landry was going to send MARINES?!”
“Yes, Meredith. Marines. A whole platoon.”
“Waitaminnit. Carter suggested that they hold off the marines?”
“Yeah. She doesn’t seem to like you on a personal level, she seemed to think it would be a bad thing if... how did she put it... ‘If he was shot down like a dog.’”
“I knew it. I knew she liked me deep-down.”
Jeannie rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Mare... Anyway, when they called me, I figured that it would be easier to save you than to explain to Madison why her uncle wouldn’t be coming around any more.”
“Yes. Well. On that note, Jeannie, I did make it to the Athosian’s camp a few days ago and I got a few things for OOF!”
Doctor Weir looked up from the console that she was watching and grinned at Zelenka.
“Doctor Weir: this is Buffy. I’ve got him.”
A few days later, as Jeannie Miller was getting ready to leave for Earth, someone knocked on her door. She opened it to find her very visible brother – Who had been painted blue, given a Mohawk, had a word in alien text tattooed onto his forehead, and had his eyebrows shaved off.
He was also wearing a pair of very short shorts that Jeannie was pretty sure used to be pants.
She stifled a snicker and hugged her brother goodbye.
"Can I get a picture of you? I've got my camera."