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One Man's Trash

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Summary: The BuffyBot is resurrected when Jayne discovers her collecting dust in a salvage yard.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Firefly > BuffyBot-Centered(Moderator)DemonaFR1316570143,9672 Oct 062 Oct 06Yes
TITLE: One Man's Trash
AUTHOR: Demona
SUMMARY: The BuffyBot is resurrected when Jayne discovers her parts collecting dust in a salvage yard.
For Buffy: Set after AU after “Bargaining Part 2”
For Firefly: Set during Firefly: the Series
DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and/or Angel the Series, they belong to Fox, the WB/UPN, Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. The characters of Firefly belong to Mutant Enemy, Inc., Universal Pictures, and 20th Century Fox. The ideas and concepts in this story are mine entirely. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

A/N: This is basically a crack!fic and is not to be taken too seriously! You are fairwarned!


The box shuddered as it was dropped, none too gently, at Kaylee’s feet. She looked up from working on installing Serenity’s most urgent broken part. A delicate eyebrow rose as she took in the box.

“What’s that?” she asked and returned to work.

“Its…something I bought planet side,” Jayne quietly stated.

“And what’s it doing in my engine room?”

“Needs fixin’,” he explained and Kaylee looked back up at him.


“I’ll pay you,” he offered and she frowned.

“What’ve you got Jayne? You’re pretty good at fixin’ things yourself,” she warily questioned as she scooted over to look inside the box.

“Can’t fix this, Kaylee,” he muttered and nervously shifted from foot to foot.

“Jayne Cobb you have a hacked up body in here!” she yelled at him.

He quickly shook his head and raised his hands in an ‘I surrender – I’m peaceful’ motion. “It’s a machine, is all. It’s not human,” he rushed and reached into the box to pull out a piece to show her the wires and mechanical parts. The arm was dirty and torn in parts but clearly had wires sticking out of where the shoulder should go.

Kaylee relaxed almost immediately, but remained on edge. “What are you planning on doing with a bot, Jayne?” There was a definite edge to her voice when she fixed him with a hard stare.

Jayne blushed slightly and looked down at his feet. His shuffling began again and it took him a couple times of clearing his throat until he could properly speak. “It gets awful lonely out in the black,” he quietly admitted.

The look of shock and mild disgust was evident on her face. “Fix it yourself, Jayne,” she quietly suggested. He nodded once and scooped up the box and left her engine room.


It had taken a large chunk of his cut from the last job and countless hours spent fixing it but it was finally done. It would have been done in a quarter of the time if Kaylee had helped out, but from the daggers she was still shooting him, he figured it wasn’t a good idea to ask again. Jayne connected the power wires to the modified battery source and waited. Nothing happened and he sighed in frustration.

“Gorram bots. Nuttin’ ever simple with ‘em,” Jayne grumbled and reached to remove the battery and prod around inside again.

The bot came to life with a rough jerk that almost toppled her. Awkwardly she caught herself and began to look around. Her gaze turned to Jayne and she frowned. The look was out of place on her beautiful, delicate face.

“Who are you? Where is my Spike?” she finally questioned and fixed him with a stare.

“I’m Jayne. Spike’s not here.” He kept it simple. She was beautiful, more beautiful than any of the other bots he had ever seen, and by far more real.

“Jayne is a girl’s name,” she said with a bright smile. He was about to be show her just how much he didn’t appreciate that comment when her demeanor shifted. She stepped toward him letting a slow smirk cross her lips. “But you are a man,” she added, still stepping forward.

“That’s right, baby, I’m all man.” He practically growled as he closed the distance between them.


A/N2: Told you - crack!fic!!


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