Follow the Yellow Brick Road
Insert Standard Disclaimer here ---> If I actually owned any of these characters and/or settings I would be too busy traveling the world with my buckets of money to sit around writing fan-fiction. Hopefully not too many people are disappointed that I am too poor to travel and hence am sitting here writing this...Anyway, on with the story!
Dawn looked down at herself in horror. Her hair was braided into two pigtails that were pulled forward over her shoulders. And as if that weren’t bad enough; instead of her normal, fashionable clothes she was wearing a horribly outdated dress. A horribly outdated, blue-checked gingham dress. With a pinafore. And she didn’t even know WHAT a pinafore was!
Hoping this was just a reaction to her dinner of a marshmallow, apple, pickle, and tomato sandwich (on rye); she pinched herself on the arm. No luck, still wearing The Dress From Hell; and now her arm hurt.
Giving up on the waking up thing, Dawn looked around trying to figure out what was going on. The last thing she remembered was a huge fight with Buffy –about what, she couldn’t recall- and then stomping off to her room to cool down. Ever since Mom had died she and Buffy had been having more and more dust-ups – and not of the vampy kind; as if Buffy would ever allow her to help patrol anyway! Looking around didn’t help any, it was outdoors with some really strange plants and several deserted-appearing small buildings a short distance away. Dawn shrugged, odd things tended to happen when you lived on a Hellmouth; and if you happened to be a millenniums old mystical Key then you upped the oddness by at least a factor of ten. She was just about to head for the buildings when a bobbing globe of light caught her eye.
It was drifting more or less in her direction, and in seconds it had landed softly a few feet away. The light intensified for a moment and when it cleared there stood Faith dressed in a ruffly, frilly pink concoction that looked truly ridiculous on her. Especially when paired with a towering pink crown and a long, sparkly wand. Dawn ALMOST felt better about her own outfit on seeing that.
“So, are you a good witch or a bad witch?”
That did it, Dawn’s brain finally put all the pieces together: her outfit, Faith’s outfit, the little buildings, everything.
“’The Wizard of Oz’? I’m in the freaking ‘Wizard of Oz’?!? You have got to be kidding! Faith, what is going on here?”
“’Faith’? Hey, the name’s Glinda. You know? The Good Witch of the North, and so on, and so forth, blah, blah, blah. And I don’t have all day, ya know. Good witch? Bad witch? What’s the what?”
“I’m not a witch at all! That’s Willow or Tara, not me. C’mon Faith, it’s me – Dawn!”
“Yo, chill out little D. All I know is that the Munchkins called me when your wicked-cool ride landed on and killed the Wicked Witch of the East.” Faith…er, Glinda gestured with her wand at the closest building which Dawn realized was the Magic Shop with a pair of legs sticking out of the bottom. “And anyone who can take down that bad-ass has got to be a way powerful witch.”
“I killed her? That can’t be right. Oh jeez, I am so grounded…”
Dawn was cut off by a burst of sulfurous smoke that exploded nearby. She whirled to see the smoke clearing to reveal Glory in a skin-tight, red spandex mini-dress; waving a perfectly manicured hand in front of her face. “Ew, I hate it when that sulfur thing happens. Okay, now where’s the bitch that killed my sister? We need to have a little talk.”
Dawn shrank closer to Glinda as Glory looked around and zeroed in on her. As the Hell Goddess began to stalk closer, Glinda took a half-step and placed herself between Dawn and Glory. “Aren’t you forgetting something, WW-III? Like a certain pair of shoes?”
Glory stiffened and spun around to the legs that were still under the shop wearing shiny, green shoes. As Glory lunged for them, they disappeared and the legs shriveled up and vanished. “Where are they? They’re mine dammit!” She turned again and pointed a finger at Glinda. “This is your doing, you stupid do-gooder. You must have taken them. Give me my shoes!”
“Yeah right. As if that shade of green would go with my outfit. Or yours, for that matter” She stepped aside and pointed at Dawn’s feet where the bright, emerald shoes now were, “they look much better here. And you know as well as I do that once they’re on someone they ain’t coming off until the wearer dies or gives them up. So why don’t you go home and cry to your monkeys or something."
Glory started forward once more but Glinda help up her wand like a stop sign. “Are you seriously going to start something on MY turf? I so don’t think so!”
Glory snarled, but didn’t move any closer. “Fine, but you won’t always be around. And just for the record, pink isn’t exactly your color.” She turned her focus to Dawn. “Listen up you slipper-stealing twit. You have just made an enemy of the Wicked Witch of the West. Really not a good place to be. I will get those shoes and I will get you. Heck, if you had a little dog, I’d get that too!”
With that she disappeared in another puff of stinky smoke, and a distant, fading voice could be heard saying, “I have really got to work on that!”
Glinda turned to Dawn. “Sorry about that, seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, I can’t protect you for very long, but as long as you have those shoes on she can’t touch you. And I mean that literally. The only one I can think of who can help you is the Wizard of Oz. Wish I could send you straight there, but you’ll have to go by yourself. All you have to do is…”
“I know, I know: Follow the Yellow Brick Road”