In Debt Up to Our Crossbows
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Not one thing. I certainly don’t own BtVS – that would be Joss Whedon.
Description: The Council is in debt. Whatever will Giles and the Scoobies do? Part fanfic, part fan art.
Glaring at the stacks of papers in front of him, Giles removed his glasses, leaned back in his chair, and sighed. The situation was worse than he’d ever expected. He knew the Council had been in disarray, even before the situation with the Bringers, but he’d never thought it was this bad. The Council had existed for more than a thousand years, and had members that were very generous with their monetary donations. Many Council families made donations each year in memory of those family members who’d died or in honor of their own fallen slayers. He knew for a fact that the Giles family had donated over four million pounds over the decade. Where had all the money gone?
- - - - - - - - - -
“I’m sorry, Giles. I keep getting the same thing you did.” Willow shrugged. She couldn’t find any problems with his math. She hadn’t expected to. He’d already hired an accountant, who had determined the same thing. The Council wasn’t just bankrupt, they were up to their crossbows in debt.
“Did you or the accountant manage to track down the missing money?” Maybe it was just… misplaced. Maybe Travers had placed it in his own accounts for ‘safe-keeping’. Maybe pigs were going to go flying by his window. He’d learned anything was possible, just not always probable.
“Nopers. Well, sorta-kinda, but not like you’re thinking. I was thinking that it might have been embezzled, just a little bit, but it’s not. Travers was actually using his own money to help keep things afloat even. It’s just… did anyone ever tell you that England’s really pricey? You really should have moved someplace cheaper years ago, or at least have bought the building you were using as headquarters. I mean, a thousand years of monthly rent… bad business decision! Oh, and the health insurance was so crappy! I mean, the Council was paying for like 80% of your coverage – which really sucks that they didn’t totally cover you – but then the insurance wouldn’t pay for hospitalization. Pshah, I mean, why didn’t even look at the policy first?”
He held up a hand to stop her. “Please, Willow. I get the picture. We’re legitimately bankrupt. What are we going to do now?”
“Um… find a cheaper place to live, first. Then we need to start making money to pay off the debts. Oh, and we can make a list of all the ways money was wasted before so we don’t do the same dumb things again.”
“And we’re going to start making money… how?”
She shrugged. “We used to have bake sales in high school, but I don’t think we can make enough cookies to cover this problem. Or we could call up alumni… um, Council families, and beg? Begging works.”
“I don’t think it will help much in this case. Any other ideas?”
- - - - - - - - - -
He didn’t want to do this. He really didn’t. Buffy and Faith were going to kill him. All the Scoobies were going to kill him. He hated to ask this of them, but he had no options. Willow and the accountant had gone over the books with him multiple times, but there was no change, and this was the only way he could think of to start making money, short of buying lottery tickets. He was going to have to ask them to help him by endorsing various products.
Granted, the contracts on his desk weren’t as well-paying as others. It’s not like Buffy was being courted by Nike or Coke, but she was in high demand among those in the know. He’d already signed a contract for Faith to advertise a series of specialty knives, and another contract for designer eye-patches for Xander. Willow had decided on several endorsements, including one for a grow-your-own stinky herb kit for a mail-catalogue aimed at Wiccans.
Buffy was going to be the problem. He waded up the contract from the hair dye company and threw it in the garbage can. Nothing would be able to save him if he asked her to publicly admit that her blonde hair came from a bottle. He stared at the remaining contracts, and finally signed the one from the boot company. They didn’t pay as much as some of the other companies did, but the offer of free footwear would help appease his slayer. He really hoped they’d appease her.
- - - - - - - - - - Thus ends the fanfic part, and the fan art challenge begins. Feel free to add on fan art that shows the series of ads that the Scoobies participate in. Ones that I’d particularly like to see include:
1) ‘Kick butt just like Buffy the vampire slayer! Buy a pair of high heeled leather boots just like hers! Only $250 dollars!’
2) The Chia-pet style grow-your-own stinky herb garden as advertised by Willow.
3) Spike advertising anything, really. Cigarettes, hair bleach, black finger nail polish, it’s all good.