Title: Quite Enough of This
Crossing: BtVS/Doctor Who, with some mentions of other crossings
Characters: Faith, the Brigadier, Xander, Giles
Pairings: Implied Faith/Xander
Summary: Post-Chosen. The Brigadier deals with a Slayer meeting--his way.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Doctor Who or anything else mentioned that you recognize in any manner. Wanna fight about it? You? You? Thought not.
Author’s Notes: My first sequel to a fanfic I wrote! I have several more Faith/Brigadier stories to tell, plus other character meetings. Look for at least a short Sarah Jane Smith/Willow & Kennedy ficlet (humorous) and Quentin Travers encountering the Seventh Doctor (not so humorous). All this in the future, I don't know when. This is a fun one--please read and review.
The Brigadier was late for his meeting.
The Brigadier HATED being late. It just wasn’t professional. Traffic was traffic, though.
He went through all of the security checks, impressed with the guards’ thoroughness. In the meeting area in front of the hall, he spied a familiar face.
“Ms. LeHane,” he called to a beautiful brunette standing near a dark haired man with an eye patch.
The brunette looked up at the voice, and then smiled.
“Hey Brig!” she yelled, and ran over to give him a hug. The Brigadier stiffened at the display of affection, but relaxed as not to offend Ms. LeHane.
Faith broke the hug and motioned for the dark haired man to come over.
“Brigadier, this is Watcher Xander Harris, late of Cleveland, and …a good friend of mine,” Faith began as Xander walked over towards them. “X, this is Brigadier Alastair Lethbridge-Stewart, UNIT liaison to the Council of Watchers.”
The younger man smiled and shook the Brigadier’s offered hand. The handshake was firm, hands roughened by hard work. This was no bookworm. He liked the younger man already.
“Nice to meet you, sir. Faith has said good things about you.”
“A pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. Harris.”
“Call me Xander. Personal preference.”
“All right, Mr. Harris,” the Brigadier said, and then turned to Faith. “Well, Ms LeHane, I apologize for my tardiness, but the traffic and all that. Has the meeting begun yet?”
Both Faith and Xander began to roar with laughter.
“What did I say?” he asked, now quite confused.
Xander snorted, “We never start on time. When you get this many people in the monster slaying business under one roof, it gets kind of crazy.”
Faith grabbed Xander’s hand and dragged him towards the doors to the hall. She looked over her shoulder at the Brigadier.
“C’mon Brig, we might as well grab our seats.”
He followed the pair and walked into the hall.
And stopped. Shocked at the scene in front of him.
It was chaos. Utter and total chaos
Young girls running around, talking and sparring with one another in between the tables. Military men discussing tactics with men dressed in what could be charitably termed “beach wear”. Several obvious nonhumans eating god knows what at the bar. In the corner of his eye he thought he saw the vampire named Spike aka William the Bloody. That was just great.
Rupert Giles sat at the front of the hall, a look of resignation on his face. The Brigadier knew that look all too well. He had worn that look many times over the years, especially dealing with the Doctor.
As the trio walked towards the front of the hall, he could hear the discussions of the other guests.
“I’m just saying, some of those vampire guys are hot.”
“Some guys are turned on by a girl who can bend steel bars into a knot, some aren’t. Roll of the dice, kid.”
“Andrew, put that camcorder away!”
“One of the most underrated groups of demon hunters? The Harlem Globetrotters. Meadowlark Lemon once dusted three vamps with a chest pass to Curly Neal. Took their heads clean off.”
“Does your watcher make that pinched face like Giles, too?”
“Why do all of the good ones have to be married, gay, cursed, immortal, hunted, or projections from a possible but unlikely future?”
“You forgot about robots. Has happened to me more than once.”
“Mr. Wells, get that damn camera out of my face!”
“Girlfriend, when your Watcher dresses hotter than you do, you need a definite makeover.”
“Oh sure. We fight vampires and demons all the time. That’s normal. But when I say that my mom was raised in a time lost land of dinosaurs, I’m the crazy one.”
“Never let a Chosen One read from a magic book. It usually doesn’t end well.”
“No. You weld two shotguns together-that’s what I call four barrels of monster-stopping power!”
“Andrew! I will take that camera as shove it up your…”
“How many Draculas are out there? Yeesh, if I had a dollar for every wannabee vamp nerd who claimed to be the Dark Prince of Vampires.”
“Remind me to never set up anybody here on a blind date.”
By the time the Brigadier got to his seat, he was tired and thoroughly annoyed. He turned towards Giles.
“Always like this, lad?”
Giles gave him a weary nod.
The Brigadier returned the nod with a look of sympathy. “Been there, my boy.”
He nodded towards the podium.
Giles’ frown broke into a wicked grin. “Be my guest.”
The older man walked to the podium, tapped the microphone, and began to speak.”
“Good evening, ladies and gentleman. My name is Retired Brigadier Alastair Lethbridge-Stewart, UNIT Liaison to the Watcher’s Council. Mr. Giles asked me to begin this meeting, the first of several this weekend. Please take your seats, and we can begin.”
Nobody responded. People were still talking and laughing.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.”
Three slayers demonstrating a new sword technique smashed a table.
Quite enough of this, the Brigadier thought. He walked off the stage and began to walk towards the center if the hall. Some of the military personnel saw the look in his eyes, and sat down quickly. The rest continued to laugh, joke and carry on.
Faith turned to Xander. “Cover your ears, boy toy”, she hissed.
The look in her eyes convinced Xander to do what she told him to do.
At the center of the hall, the Brigadier stopped.
“I said take your seats.”
The talking continued.
“NOW!” he bellowed, his voice booming through the hall.
The assembled Slayers, Watchers, and friends fell silent.
Andrew, frozen in fear, dropped his camcorder. The crash as it hit the floor was heard throughout the hall.
Security ran in to see what all the commotion was about.
Everyone began to run to his or her seats. The Brigadier slowly walked back to the podium, glaring at any stragglers that remained in his path.
“Thank you,” he said after he returned to the podium. “Mr. Giles will make his presentation, then we will have dinner. After that you will have time to visit all you like for the rest of the evening. Thank you again for your attention.”
He walked backed to his seat with as smug a grin as he could muster.
Giles was laughing so hard he couldn’t remember his introduction.
“I have to admit, Ms. LeHane, I do miss doing that,” the Brigadier said to Faith as he sat down.
“That was most entertaining.”
Brigadier: Oh dear. Women. Not really my field.
7th Doctor: Don't worry, Brigadier. People will be shooting at you soon.
Doctor Who, Battlefield (1989)