The DiNozzo Code
Title: The DiNozzo Code
Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to anything Lost, NCIS or any other fandom that may appear in this fic. So that means I am not the copyright holder. No money is being made so please don't sic attack lawyers on me.
Summary: “A little nonsense, now and then, is relished by the wisest men”
Note: Inspired by this article
Agent 491 looked at his watch again. He was running behind again. Agent 42 was going to be pissed. He was pushing a large frozen block of Carbonite with a trapped Tony DiNozzo in it. The carbonite was supported on a cushion of anti-gravity but it was still a pain in the butt to manhandle. 'I probably shouldn't have stopped for that ice cream truck
, he thought as he tried to pick up the pace. 'And why the hell would somebody in their right mind want DiNozzo for a Lethal Weapon crossover? Didn't they know how far apart those two fandoms were? Just last week he had taken DiNozzo to a Friends crossover!'
"Shortcut, shortcut, I need a shortcut," he muttered under his breath as pushed. Just then his face lit up with a smile. "I've got an app for that!"
He pulled out his iPhone and began touching the screen. Shortly after a wormhole seemed to open directly in front of him. He quickly pocketed the iPhone and pushed the carbonite block through the portal. Once through the portal closed behind him. He smiled. "Crossing Over 101...time doesn't follow the rules in the Lost fandom," he said as he looked at the computer room of the Swan station. He did some quick calculations in his head. 'Okay if I stay here for 5 minutes that should let me arrive 10 minutes early. Thank goodness for things in the Lost fandom making no sense at all.
After about 2 minutes of standing around Agent 491 got out his iPhone to check hi facebook. "Huh...no signal." He looked at the old computer thoughtfully.
Thirty minutes later Agent 491 was just finished planting his farmville crops when he heard the sound of a portal opening. He quickly tried to shut all the windows inviting him to buy farm cash and give gifts to his neighbors. But not before a very annoyed looking Agent 42 looked over his shoulder and saw what he was doing.
"Really?" Agent 42 said in a condescending tone.
"I'm sorry! I just logged in for a minute or two and then couldn't log out. I didn't realize it had been 30 minutes!"
"You've been here for 30 minutes!" yelled Agent 42. "Do you realize what the combination of magnetism and carbonite will do to DiNozzo here?"
"What are they teaching at the Academy these days." Agent 42 muttered. Then in a louder voice, "We need to get out of here right now before it's too late."
They quickly pushed DiNozzo through the portal.
An hour later Agent 42 finished putting away his diagnostic kit. "The good news is that you didn't totally scramble DiNozzo's brains. The bad news is that there is very slight brain damage which has broken his canon restoration protocol. He can never be fully restored to canon. There will be always be a little retarded in him. And the longer the show goes on it will get worst until by season 14 he'll be drooling and throwing dung. Our only hope is to get some of our covert teams on the creation of an NCIS spinoff. Maybe NCIS: Texas..."
"What about NCIS: Canada?" chimed in Agent 491.
Agent 42 looked at the other agent in wonderment. "You DO realize that Canada isn't part of the United States right?"
Agent 491 nodded yes. "Why do you ask?"
"Nevermind," Agent 42 said as he shook his head.