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Minds my Cell

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Summary: Stuff happens! And Halloween can be the craziest of days when it wants to. Xander is having a bad week, he tries for a boring looking costume. He loses himself in it and finds out his costume wasn’t so boring after all.Will have slash sooner or later.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Bourne Identity MoviesMerKatFR1334,6580196,95328 Oct 0630 Nov 06No


Minds My Cell

Title: Wha?!
Summary: Stuff happens! Halloween can be the craziest of days when it wants to. Xander goes looking for a boring costume. Things happen. Xander meets the man behind the costume. Will have Slash . . .SLASH and stuff!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the craziness that spews out of my head. All characters belong to their respective owners. I don’t own nada!! If I owned Bourne or Xander I’d have money! Which I don’t.
Author notes & Warnings: M/M fanfic. No Beta. Be afraid. My mood affects my writing. I warn you it could get scary . . .


Running down one dark alley after another Jason darted into an abandoned building. The fact that one of his eyes were not functioning didn’t bother him at the moment even though it hindered his speed and ability to spot threats to his person. Finding the building truly empty he relaxed for a second. Well relaxed as much as he could, he was not where he should be or how he should be. His vision was off. He had a blind spot he hadn’t had last he remembered. Not that his memory was very good but this was a new weakness that would hamper his ability to do his . . . work.

Taking the bag off his shoulder he looked though it. It was a standard escape bag. He had one in many locations so it wouldn’t help clue him into how or why he was here. Jason gave a sigh of unease. The fact that he had the bag with him was bothersome, it meant that he was running from something or someone. And what happened earlier in that unknown building supported that theory. Did his latest mission go wrong? Was Treadstone compromised? Or was Treadstone itself trying to get rid of him?


Tensing as a piece of rubble fell to the ground feet away from him, Jason waited for any other sounds. Hearing and seeing nothing he stood up to go when a hand darted out and covered his mouth and grabbed up one of his wrists. Jason stumbled as he was pulled against a hard body and shivered as cold breath caressed his ear.

“I know were not supposed to be out on Halloween . . . but you smelled so good I couldn’t resist.”

As cold breath brushed his neck Jason reacted . . . violently. He almost felt sorry for the fool as he flipped the man over his shoulder and snapped his neck. Looking at the crumpled figure Jason decided it was time to go. Only the going was slowed by a strong hand wrapped around his ankle. Ripping his ankle away from the hand Jason watched the crumpled figure shift like a rousing feline, just a few clicks and an adjustment with his hands the neck bones were back in place. In all his years Jason Bourne had never seen a man spring back up like new after breaking his neck. Though for some reason he felt he should.

Bourne’s eyes widened in shock as the man before him turned into a monster with ridges and blazing fire yellow eyes. The man’s youthful face distorting, covered in fleshy ridges with big sharp off-white fangs shining in his wide-open mouth. Bourne foolishly stood dumbfounded as his mind processed the impossible scene before him. *Physical mutation how–*

The man in dirt-covered jeans cracked his neck and gave Jason a cocky little smile then tackled the assassin. Growling in frustration at his lack of attention Jason punched at every pain point with little results, this guy seamed to be enjoying the fight. Cursing up a blue streak, Jason tried to find a weapon or reach for his bag. A bag that was just out of his reach. Snatching some rubble from the floor Bourne swung for its head knocking the thing off him.

Rolling to his feet Bourne grabbed the first weapon-like thing he could find. A stick. *sigh* Striking out at the creature Bourne forgot about his MacGyver type luck an went for the creatures main body. Blinking Jason toed the pile of dust on the ground. He was going to examine it further when three more creatures just like the first popped out of the wood work.

Cursing his lack of attention, his surroundings, and the little to no information he had on these enemies, Jason Bourne ran for it. He ran with great speed down the street but the unknown things were right behind him. Finding a busy street Bourne zigged past a couple cars on the fast moving street, he thought he was in the clear. Then a darkness started clawing at his awareness. Suddenly something started to pull on his mind . . . on his very being. Panicking as darkness tinged the edges of his sight Bourne fought the foreign feeling that was taking hold. With an iron will he ran a few more steps, he needed to get out of the busy street. As a car raced pasted inches from his person Bourne’s panic rose. He managed to take three more heavy steps before this sudden weakness took hold of him completely. He stood in the middle of the road swaying, his knees felt like jelly and the strength in his muscles seamed to wash away like water.

Holding his head in shaky hands Jason tried to move, do something, anything! But it seams he could do nothing but watch his death approach. For it was coming at him at 50 mph. All Jason really saw was a red blur . . . as he tried in vain to dodge it.


Confusion issued as all traffic stopped. People were shouting, others were on their cell phones, and many were just trying to have a peek at the newest car accident. Morbid fascination and all that caused crowds of folks that had nothing better to do with their time then watch. As the ambulance pulled up with a cop car or two in tow many a onlooker scattered like mice spooked by an alley cat.

An SUV had quite a dent in its right front hood. The owner of the large monster of a car was waving her hands about, a PDA and a cell phone in each hand. She was hysterical and crying. Though she seamed a mit more worried about her car than the young man being carried away by the paramedics.

Many a person was asked by the police about what happened. The same story came from each person asked. ~The boy just ran out into the road like the devil itself was after him-. . . He seamed scared of something! Didn’t look at all, just ran for it! But boy could he dodge them cars!!!. . . He looked confused and tired. The poor dear- . . . Never saw anything like it before! One minute moving like a house cat on crack the next BOOM! Slouching like an old maid on her last leg! . . . The woman wasn’t even paying attention to the road! She would have killed the kid if he hadn’t dodged it! Still clipped him though, the bitch!!~ Comments all along those lines were gathered by the police as the paramedics rushed the unfortunate young man to the closest hospital.

The party just before the accident

Spike hissed as the cross burned his skin, the woman before him was fighting right dirty. Chel laughed gleefully as Spike ducked under her swinging hand. He wasn’t going to let the bitch touch him, not when she was covered in holy water. Snarling at her smug face Spike used his vampire speed to get behind the witch. Kicking the feet out from under Chel, Spike socked her in the gut and smiled gleefully at the sound of broken ribs. This bitch and her soldier buddies had tried to capture slayers. Tried to round them up like cattle. They had tried and almost succeeded in taking a couple of the be-spelled warriors but not everyone was helpless. Looking at Faith and her kitty army Spike shuddered. They had turned some of the soldier boys into scratching posts, a few were even sitting on a couple of wounded soldiers like their personal beds.

Jumping out of the way as a small talking purple dragon and its spunky firefly sidekick ran past, Spike rolled his eyes. “Bloody Halloween.”

Spike looked at the mess that was the New Watcher’s Council lobby. Glass and people alike were scattered along the floor. Halls and the floors wood work were damaged up good, the roof had gun fire holes and burn marks in it. “The whelps going to be busy fixing this mess . . .”

Finding his sire Spike was just going to yell at Angel for following Buffy around like her little bitch when every be-spelled person just collapsed. Well first they did the wobbly thing and the grabbing for their pained freaking heads, then they toppled over like dominos. Fainted like before they went crazy. Glaring at the man who landed in his arms Spike dumped Angel’s groggy ass on the couch next to the blond slayer.

Looked like everyone was out like a light. Sighing Spike crouched down by Angel and started lightly slapping him in the face to wake him up. When he didn’t even make him stir Spike pulled back his fist and punched the vampire. That got a reaction! And quick too!!

Spike jumped back as Angel swung at him, cursing up a storm as he stood up. Angel clutched his head. “Ouch. What happened?”

Spike sniffed. “I’ll tell you what happened!! While I was fighting swarms of soldier boys, bitches, and trying to keep the kitties from eating everyone and poo-ing on the floor, you were playing Slutty the vampire layer’s bitch!!! Wesley was too.”

Angel blinked. “Wha?!”



The End?

You have reached the end of "Minds my Cell" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 30 Nov 06.

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