Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

Ten Women Illyria Never Built A Kingdom With

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

Summary: Written for the "10 Things That Never Happened" challenge. It delivers exactly what the title promises. Illyria/assorted women

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Fred/Illyria-Centered(Moderator)JoeHundredaireFR18105,90746034,3212 Nov 0631 May 09Yes


Title: Hogwarts
Author: JoeHundredaire (
Rating: R/FR18.
Pairings: Illyria/? Weasley
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the queen bee of the Potterverse and all related characters. Never quite figured out who owns the Buffyverse, but I know for a fact that it's not me...
Summary: Dude, there's a castle? Illyria's there.
Joe's Note: Still not drunk, and still on crack. Still wish I was. Then I could blame this on it.

     Illyria scowled as she swept through the hallways of Hogwarts, descending into the dungeon. Her guide was late. She was often late and often without an excuse. If Illyria didn't know that the redhead was aware of her true nature, she would suspect her guide of some sort of... cheating... was the human word she was looking for. But who would be foolish enough to cheat on her?

     The student robes she wore to blend in fluttered as she pushed through a clump of teenagers wearing the same blue-lined uniform as her. They scowled at her and Illyria fought against the urge to punish them for their insolence. But it was her own fault. She had agreed to shift her shell to match the age of the students and blend in so she could protect the Chosen One. To them, she was just an annoying girl with bad manners.

     Turning a corner, Illyria came to a halt to avoid running into a group of people. Directly in front of her was her guide, the guide's sibling, the Chosen One, and their large-haired companion. Across from the quartet was a pointy-faced, white-haired boy flanked by two creatures that bore closer resemblance to some of her former minions than to the humans they supposedly were. "Ginevra," she barked. "I've been waiting for you for the last half an hour."

     Ginny flinched at her voice and turned to look back over her shoulder. "Win," she apologized, "I've been a little busy with..."

     Scowling, both at the pet form of her shell's name and at Ginevra's attempt to placate her, Illyria stepped closer. "I care little for your excuses. We had an appointment for a romantic-type meeting. You did not show up. Therefore, according to the magazines you instructed me to read, I am supposed to be unhappy with you."

     "Hey Weasel, I thought you and the know-it-all were bad," Draco sneered, "but at least you're doing something halfway proper. How does it feel to know that your sister not only went over to the other team, but that her mudblood owns her?"

     Six wands came out as Ginny, Ron, and Harry bristled at the insult, Draco and his minions moved to defend themselves, and Hermione latched onto Harry and Ron to try and restrain them. Ginny continued to stare down Draco and his bodyguards, who fingered their wands and waited for one of the Gryffindors to make the first move. After all, anything after the first spell was 'self-defense'.

     Unfortunately, nobody was keeping an eye on 'Winifred Burkle'. Illyria strode forward, the magic of the castle singing to her as she bound it to her will long enough to warp time and space for only the third time since her powers had been further diminished. One moment she was glaring from behind the Gryffindors, the next moment she had her hand wrapped around Draco's throat and was lifting him into the air.

     "I killed your father," Illyria offered conversationally, slowly letting her disguise fade away. Her armor spread up the visible portion of her arm and then covered her hand. "And your mother. You share their Mark. Albus Dumbledore has given me leave to destroy all those who bear that Mark, if I find a reason to do so." Her hand jerked to the side and the teenager's neck gave a loud crack as she snapped it. His body dropped to the floor when she released her grip. "I'll figure out what reason to give when he dares to ask."

     There was near silence in the hallway, broken only by the footsteps of the two now master-less minions fleeing the scene. "You... you killed Draco," Hermione whispered.

     Illyria nodded, forcing her disguise back into place. "Your observational skills continue to astonish me," she replied. Taking the hand of the still-shocked Ginny, she began to tug the redhead away from the rest. "Don't think this gets you out of your obligation," she informed her guide. "You still owe me a demonstration of this 'romantic dinner' concept."
Next Chapter
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking