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A Long Way From Sunnydale

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Summary: AU 7th year Harry Potter crackfic. Buffy Summers is tapped to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. When the students and staff of Hogwarts start acting erratically, it's up to Buffy and Snape to solve the mystery. Eventual Buffy/Snape.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: Severus SnapedruplusspikeFR181128,14701614,8067 Nov 067 Dec 06No

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I make no claim to copyrighted material. Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and Joss Whedon, I'm making no money off of this.

Severus Snape was walking through a crowd. Why was everyone in the potions classroom? There was loud music and people were dancing.

“What are you doing here?” he shouted at Neville, who was dancing with Hannah Abbot. “Are you out of your mind? Fifty points from Gryffindor!”

Neville pointedly ignored him and kept dancing. Severus was trying to push his way through the crowd, but it was getting more and more difficult. It looked like the whole school was there.

He looked to his left. Ugh, Nymphadora Tonks was sitting on that half-breed Lupin’s lap, making out with him.

“Good god, man, show some dignity,” snarled Severus.

“Like you should talk,” somebody said with a barking laugh.

Severus noticed that Sirius Black was sitting behind Remus and Tonks with a lecherous grin on his face.

“You’re dead,” said Severus.

Sirius shrugged his narrow shoulders. “It’s your dream, don’t blame me.” He laughed again. “Besides, you’re the one having dirty thoughts about the Slayer.”

Severus walked away, disgusted. The crowd was finally starting to part.

Minerva McGonagall was sitting at a table with Dumbledore, sipping tea. There was a cat sitting on the table.

Minerva waved at Severus with a slight smile on her face.

“Etes-vous prêt?*” she asked.

He noticed that she was holding hands with Dumbledore and was slightly nauseated by that.

“Merlin, Albus, you’re what, 325 years-old? Quit that. And speak English,” he said to Minerva.

“Vous savez parfaitement bien que vous parlez le français, autrement vous ne comprendriez pas ceci. En plus, c'est votre rêve. J'ai dit, êtes-vous sûr que vous êtes prêt?”** said Minerva.

“Start making sense or shut up,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dumbledore held out a tin and said, “Bonbon?”***

Severus sighed frustratedly and left Dumbledore and Minerva to their French and their candy and tea. He tried shouting over the noise for everyone to leave but the music just got louder every time he shouted.

He finally gave up and stormed into his office. Severus leaned against the door, closed his eyes, and massaged the bridge of his nose. Did it say something about his mental state that even his dreams were becoming a major pain in the ass? It was so fucking annoying, he just wished he could wake up. It was at this moment that Severus noticed a scraping noise.

In the dream, Severus opened his eyes. For the first time he noticed that he was in his private office, the one attached to his quarters, not the office attached to the classroom. Buffy was sprawled on the couch whittling a stake with a dagger.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, trying and failing to control his temper.

It wasn’t enough that he had to put up with this bint in real life! She had to invade his dreams!

“You invited me,” she said, fixing him with her stare.

“I did no such thing.”

“You didn’t ask with your mouth. You asked with your,” she pointed at his heart with her stake. “Some new age nonsense, anyway. Crystals and potions. I’m not good at that stuff, I think we should leave that to Sybil.”

Severus sat down. “What do I have to do to get you to leave? I just want to be alone, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“No one wants to be alone,” said Buffy. “Believe me.”

“Can you stop doing that? You’re getting shavings everywhere,” said Severus.

Buffy shrugged. “You can just magic it away.”

She tossed the stake she was carving aside, bent down, and ripped the leg off of his coffee table, and started to carve that.

“What are you doing? You come in here and just start tearing my things up! What is your problem?” he snarled.

“Maybe you need your things torn up!” she countered. “You know, this is quite phallic,” Buffy said, glancing at the stake. “I penetrate things for a living. Is that what it feels like to be a man?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“You’re not a man?”

“It’s been a very long time,” he said softly.

“Well, who’s fault is that?” said Buffy briskly. “You’re the one who put up all these walls,” she said, looking into his eyes. “You act like you hate me, but we’re a lot alike. We’re both alone. No one is ever going to be able to really understand either us. Now the question becomes, do you hate me or do you hate yourself?”

“I’m really not in the mood for this muggle psychoanalysis bullshit.”

“What are you in the mood for?” she asked, taking her hand in his.

Severus laughed. “You’re not trying to seduce me, are you? I’m twice your age and I’m really quite beyond sex, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“No one’s beyond sex,” said Buffy, “And I dated a 246 year-old vampire, so you lose on that count.”

Buffy touched the side of his face with her other hand. “I learned an important lesson after my friends brought me back from the dead. There’s a funny sentence,” she laughed to herself. “When I first came back, everything was so painful and I was so angry. I lost myself in the pain. It got to the point where I may as well have just died again and I had to decide—was I going to embrace the pain and let it poison me or was I going to move on? What are you going to do, Severus Snape? Are you going to let the pain consume you or are you going to take down a barrier or two and actually live?”

“You have no right to tell me how to live my life.”

“You’re barely living it now. You eat and drink and move and talk, but what do you feel?” she moved her hand over his heart.

“Stop, now,” he said. The blood pooling in his lower abdomen contradicted his words, though.


“Do you always have to be so contrary? You’re infuriating.”

“See, you’re feeling something,” Buffy said and lightly brushed his lips with hers.

Severus didn’t resist. He found himself automatically kissing her back. Buffy wrapped her arms around him, her one hand stroked his hair. He pulled her closer to him and tentatively slipped his tongue between her lips. She didn’t resist. God, it had been so long since he’d kissed a woman. Years, literally. He had just kind of turned off that part of himself.

They pulled apart. Buffy was flushed in what he thought was a very pleasing way.

“I’m a dangerous man,” said Severus.

Buffy laughed. “Yeah, right, you’re the real Big Bad. I’m sorry but you don’t scare me.”

He grabbed her roughly, frustrated. “You annoy me like few people have the power to.”

“Did you ever stop to think that if you let yourself feel something positive you’d be less pissed at the world?”

This time he kissed her, to shut her up he rationalized. His tongue invaded her mouth, exploring, and she moaned softly. His hands were rubbing her back. Her sweater was black cashmere, soft, he noted. He could feel her bra clasp underneath the thin fabric. Buffy grabbed him harder and lightly bit his lower lip. Severus inhaled quickly, in surprise and arousal. She started kissing him along his jaw and neck. He was rapidly hardening and he found himself moaning under her ministrations.

“Do you feel that?” she whispered in his ear.

Severus grabbed her and pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him. He kissed the line of her collarbone and ran one of his hands up the front of her sweater. She gasped as he ran his hand lightly over her breast, then he moved his hand under her sweater. He teased her nipple through her bra.

“Severus,” she moaned and clenched her legs around him.

He chuckled. “You like that?”

She nodded.

“Take off your shirt,” he demanded.

“You are so romantic,” she said. “I’ll take mine off if you take yours off.”

She slowly peeled her sweater off. Severus couldn’t help but stare as she sat topless on him. Her bra was pale pink and contrasted beautifully with her lightly tanned skin. She was evidently as turned on as he was, if her erect nipples were any indication. Buffy started to unbutton Severus’s robes and took them off of him. Then she started on his shirt.

“Do you always wear so much clothes?” she asked as she took off his shirt and undershirt.

For the first time Severus felt self-conscious. He was hardly fat but he was definitely not in shape and he wasn’t young. If Buffy felt that he was ugly she didn’t say anything. Instead, she kissed him and pressed herself against him. Severus moaned as Buffy’s hand drifted down his stomach, down to the waistband of his trousers. She undid the button and the zipper and slid his trousers down. Buffy slid her hand into his boxer shorts and gently handled his cock.

“God, Buffy,” Severus moaned. He pressed himself into her hand.

She softly started to stroke his shaft.

“Fuck,” he groaned again, louder. “It’s been so long.”

Her thumb found the head of his cock and lightly started to rub it.

“Buffy!” he shouted and then he came.

Severus Snape sat bolt upright in his bed. He was sweating. Where was he? As his breathing returned to normal and his eyes adjusted to the dark, Severus realized he was in his bedroom. The fire in the fireplace was burning low. He turned to the clock on his nightstand, which glowed when he touched it. It read 4:35. Damn, he would never get back to sleep now.

He laid back down and realized that he was wet. What the fuck? He tentatively touched the sheets. He’d had a wet dream. Severus let out a little laugh. What are you, sixteen? he asked himself.

What had he dreamt? He closed his eyes and tried to remember. Buffy! Him and Buffy, they had been, well there was no need to go over the events again, the evidence was in his bed. Where the hell had that dream come from? He felt mildly repulsed, yet still aroused.

Severus shivered in the cold as he slipped out of bed. He cast “evenesco” on his sheets and they were clean again. He decided that what he needed, more than anything else, was a cold shower. Icy.

The water pelted into Severus’s flesh like hail. He drenched himself in the cold. He tried to calm himself down. It was just an erotic dream, he thought, Everyone has them. The fact that Buffy was in it was meaningless, she just happened to be an attractive female that he was working closely with at the moment. Yes, he could admit that she was attractive, if you were into that type. The incredibly beautiful, young blonde type.

Remember Hogwarts, he thought. Remember what young women are like. Remember the girl from his own house, the one that had asked him to Hogsmeade and then cracked up with her little gang when he actually showed up.

Severus stepped out of the shower, shivering. He briskly rubbed himself down and started to get dressed. It was very early Sunday morning, so he didn’t feel the need to put on his teaching robes. For some reason this reminded his of his dream. “Do you always wear so much clothes?” Severus shuddered at the memory. Admittedly, the dream hadn’t been unpleasant, just out of character.

Severus looked at himself in the mirror. Ancient black jumper and black trousers with a pair of black wool-lined slippers. He was highly doubtful that any students would see him like this, though he could stand to take away some House Points. A bitter smile flitted across his face. Please let Potter be out of bounds so I can take points off and confiscate that invisibility cloak, he thought. It was so typical that that would be James Potter’s legacy, something for troublemaking. Finally, Severus aimed his wand at his head and a blast of hot air instantly dried his hair. He didn’t attempt to style it or make it look any nicer. It was what it was.

He left his room. A walk would do him good. Thirty minutes of wandering around the halls, then maybe he would attempt to go back to bed. He would sleep until breakfast and make an appearance there and no one would suspect that anything was amiss.

The halls were dim and he took solace in their emptiness. This was how he truly loved Hogwarts, empty, desolate, yet full of knowledge and secrets. Then why was he hearing another set of footsteps? Severus checked his wrist but he’d forgotten to put his watch on. He looked out the window. It was still dark outside of Hogwarts, with the barest hint of lightening steel-grey at the horizon. The steps were coming closer and closer, whoever it was wasn’t bothering to conceal their presence. Probably didn’t think any professors would be up. Severus smiled again as he concealed himself in the shadow of a pedestal with a large vase on it. The footsteps were getting louder, the person was walking past him.

“What exactly do you—“ his words were cut off.

Severus found himself pinned to the wall. Just as suddenly, the person let go and actually jumped away.

Buffy was walking backwards from him, her face a mask of surprise.

“This would happen less if you quit lurking in the dark,” she said, pulling her robe tighter around her.

Severus noticed she was wearing a pink bathrobe and slippers with pajamas that looked like they had pictures of sushi on them. Surely, his eyes were beginning to fail in the dim light, no one in their right mind would wear something so weird. He also noticed that her hair was wet, as if she’d showered recently.

“Wait, what are you doing out so late?” she asked suspiciously.

“What are you doing out so late?” he countered.

“I asked first,” she folded her arms across her chest.

“I live here,” said Severus. “I may come and go as I please.”

“Well, so do I and so can I. Now that we’ve established that…”

“I have insomnia.”

“So do I,” she said, quickly. “But I think it’s gone now,” she said suddenly. “I’d better go, have a nice night,” said Buffy as she backed away, then turned and practically ran from Severus.

That girl gets stranger and stranger, thought Severus.

Buffy walked quickly back down the hall that she had come from. She looked back to make sure that he wasn’t following her, and then slowed down.

What were the odds that he would appear in her dream and then appear in real life? And appear in a dream like that. Buffy didn’t want to know where a dream like that came from. She normally would have attributed it to eating taquitos before bed but Hogwarts didn’t have taquitos.

Buffy sighed and shivered in the cold. It was probably just a coincidence. Severus was probably just looking for some out of bounds students to torment. At 4:30 in the morning.

That dream. It didn’t do well to dwell on it. The idea of being that close to Severus Snape repulsed her…and secretly excited her.

Way to go, Buffy, she chastised herself, First you fall for Spike, then you might possibly begin to start having feelings for Snape. Snape. You’re really into men that will treat you like crap, aren’t you?

Buffy had to admit that he was a very complex man and very interesting. She had made it to her room. She pulled a comb through her hair before crawling back into bed. Buffy pulled the blankets all around her and pulled the curtains shut in the hopes of trapping in some warmth.

Severus was damaged goods, that was sure. Anyone that puts up that many walls and barriers around themselves has to have been hurt, a lot. Or maybe he was just naturally a bastard. She began to drift off to sleep.

If she disliked him so much then why did she enjoy being kissed by him in the dream? Don’t think about the dream, she thought. Just forget. It means nothing.

Buffy eventually drifted into a fitful sleep. She woke up again at ten and began to get dressed for breakfast. The day was cold and grey looking. The students in the Great Hall were subdued. The talk was mostly about quidditch—Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were having tryouts today. Buffy waved to Willow at the staff table. They had both been so busy teaching that they barely had time to talk and that made Buffy sad. She sat down next to Snape as usual.

Be cool, she thought. If you stay cool no one will no anything’s amiss.

Buffy set about eating her usual breakfast and skimming The Daily Prophet. She absently reached for the jam and her hand brushed Severus’s. They both jumped. Buffy made a soft squeaking noise.

Severus murmured, “Sorry,” and they both yanked their hands away.

Buffy stared at him.

“What?” he said irritably.

“You apologized for something,” Buffy said.

She realized with horror that he was starting to flush.

The tension of the moment was broken by an owl landing in front of Buffy. Buffy reached took the letter and it flew away. She wasn’t familiar with the seal. She read;

“Dear Miss Summers,

I would like to request your presence on a matter most urgent. Please meet me at my office at noon on the day you receive this.


Albus Dumbledore”

Buffy watched in amazement as the letter dissolved in her hand. She opened her mouth to gasp but stopped when she felt a hand on her arm.

“Don’t act like anything’s unusual,” whispered Severus.

Buffy looked at him and nodded.

She finished breakfast and met Willow at the door to the Great Hall.

“You got a letter, too?” asked Willow.

“You noticed,” said Buffy.

Willow nodded. “I wonder what it’s about.”

“Severus seemed to know what it was about,” said Buffy.

“Maybe it has to do with Slaying. But then why would they want me?”

“Gee, maybe because of your super witchy skills and your super computer knowledge?” said Buffy.

“Why would Dumbledore need my computer skills? He has magic.”

“Maybe he’s having trouble setting up his scanner?” asked Buffy. “Want to watch the quidditch tryouts?”

“Actually, yes,” said Willow. “I’ve never seen quidditch before.”

They spent the next hour watching Gryffindor’s quidditch tryouts. Tryouts didn’t normally garner a large audience, but students from all houses were watching, probably due to Harry Potter’s celebrity. In fact, there was a group of Slytherins jeering. Hermione was sitting in the stands and waved at Buffy and Willow when she saw them approaching.

“Hi Professor Summers, hi Professor Rosenberg,” said Hermione brightly. She was sitting with Neville and Luna.

“Hi Hermione, Neville, Luna,” said Buffy.

“We’ve never seen quidditch before,” said Willow. “We wanted to see what tryouts looked like.”

Hermione nodded. “It doesn’t look much like the game, frankly. But it’s interesting watching them fly.”

Hermione explained the game to Buffy and Willow while they watched the students fly. As the tryouts progressed the jeers from the group of Slytherins got louder.

“Are they always like that?” asked Willow, frowning.

Hermione sighed. “Quidditch has always been really important here, a little too important if you ask me. Anyway, Harry’s the youngest person ever to make the team in a hundred years. He didn’t even have a broom when he started, McGonagall bought him one. This naturally made a lot of people angry. In second year, Draco Malfoy bribed his way onto the Slytherin quidditch team by buying the whole team Nimbus 2001’s.”

Upon seeing the blank looks on Buffy and Willow’s faces, Hermione explained, “They’re top of the line quidditch brooms. Anyway, Slytherin keeps losing to Gryffindor, so that just makes the antagonism between the houses worse. In fifth year, Malfoy egged Harry, Fred, and George, those are Ron’s brothers, on into a fight and they were suspended from quidditch for the year. Ron started playing as keeper that year and he gets really nervous under pressure, and the Slytherins were being really rotten. They made up a whole song that they would sing about him.” Hermione sniffed indignantly. “Sometimes I think that things would be better at Hogwarts if quidditch were eliminated, especially now. The Houses need to be united now that Voldemort is back.”

Willow pulled on Buffy’s sleeve.

“Look what’s happening!”

Harry was flying down to the stands. He dismounted and walked over to the Slytherins.

“Hey, Malfoy, tell your lot to shut up?”

“What, you mean us?” asked Draco. “You should be grateful for us, we’re just giving you a prelude to what the games are going to be like.”

By now most of the people in the stands had gathered around to hear the fight.

Buffy sighed. “I guess we should intervene.”

Willow nodded and they both got up. By now the entire Gryffindor team plus hopefuls had dismounted and were standing behind Harry.

By the time Buffy and Willow arrived, Harry and Draco had drawn wands and were calculating which spells could do the most damage.

“I hope you’re just practicing for my class,” said Buffy softly.

Harry had the advantage of seeing Buffy approach but Draco was taken by surprise.

“I’m sorry, Professor Summers,” he said simperingly, “Harry and I were just having a disagreement and he pulled his wand out. I know we’re not supposed to duel but—“

Buffy cut him off. “Ok, you can stop there, I was watching the whole thing. You and your gang were being pretty obnoxious.”

Seeing that sucking up wasn’t working, Draco tried another tack. “We have a right to be here,” he said belligerently.

“Look,” said Harry, “I don’t care if they’re there or not, but the lot of them are making the people trying out nervous. They deserve a fair shot.”

“Can you stay here and be quiet?” asked Buffy. “A lot of people are watching and none of them are catcalling. If you’re going to keep this up, though, you may as well leave.”

Draco mulled this over, then left, looking bitterly resentful. As he left he mumbled, “Wait until Professor Snape hears about this.”

“I’m sure Professor Snape would agree with me,” Buffy called back.

“Not bloody likely,” said Harry but he was grinning. “Thanks for that, Professor Summers, Professor Rosenberg.”

Buffy nodded. “They’re probably going to be worse at the game but at least the kids trying out will be ok.”

Harry nodded in agreement. “Ok everybody, break’s over.”

He blew his whistle and the team remounted.

“That was bracing. I think I agree with Hermione,” said Willow.

Buffy checked her watch. “It’s 11:30, we should start getting back for the thing…”

“Oh yes, the thing.”

Buffy and Willow made their way out of the stands, waving at Hermione as they left. Most of the students were outside, enjoying one of the last nice days before autumn really set in. The castle was pretty empty as they went to Dumbledore’s office.

“Come in,” he said as they knocked on his office door.

“Hello, Headmaster,” said Buffy and Willow.

“Hello, hello,” he said. “Have a seat.”

“I invited you here to talk to you about a matter of utmost importance. You are both aware of the return of Voldemort. When he first rose to power, I formed a group called the Order of the Phoenix, which was composed of members dedicated to vanquishing Voldemort. Since his return to power, I’ve reformed the Order. I’ve asked you here in order to invite you to join and fight Tom.

“Buffy, we need to coordinate your slaying with activities of the Order. Tom has allied himself with vampires, werewolves, inferi, and other dark creatures before. You are the best chance to protect the public from these creatures.”

“Uhm, Headmaster, I understand why you’ve invited Buffy but I’m not sure why you’ve invited me,” asked Willow.

“Well, Willow, aside from the fact that you’re a very powerful witch, I have a special project for you. We obviously use magic for our record keeping. What we’re focusing on now is finding Tom’s base of operations. This is difficult because he keeps it cloaked and it moves. We need someone to access the muggle property databases and the wizarding databases and keep detailed records of probable locations. We plan to keep these records in magic books but we also want a copy on computer. Tom could crack the books if they ever fell into his hands but I think that the computer would flummox him. Willow, we want you to coordinate the computer and magical record keeping.

“Of course, you may both refuse. If you do, I must ask you to keep this meeting a secret.”

Dumbledore tented his hands and looked at Willow and Buffy, waiting for their response.

“I can’t speak for Willow,” said Buffy, “But I would definitely like to join.”

Willow nodded eagerly. “I’d like to join and help too.”

“It’s very dangerous,” said Dumbledore. “We’ve had deaths during the first Order, and we’ve had deaths recently. Are you sure you’re ready to face the dangers?”

“It doesn’t sound much different than what we faced in Sunnydale,” said Buffy.

Willow agreed, “Death, destruction, doom, that’s pretty usual for us.”

“That’s part of why I hired you.” He extended his hand. “Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix.”

*I used an online translator for this bit, so I’m not sure how great the quality of the translation is. If anybody here speaks French and would like to clean it up a bit, please leave a message. For those who are curious, it should say, “Are you ready?”

**”You know perfectly well that you speak French, otherwise you wouldn't understand this. Besides, it's your dream. I said, are you sure you're ready?”


The End?

You have reached the end of "A Long Way From Sunnydale" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 7 Dec 06.

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