disclaimer: Not mine. They are of Joss Whedon, JK Rowling, Eric Kripke, Chas Addams, Disney, and Rob Thomas.
AN: Blame Jinni. I just might have to start doing some these "five things" more often. This is the direct result of a phone conversation we had on Thanksgiving. She's right, you know. We do have the weirdest fangirl conversations.
Lesson the First: Mary Python and the Holy Gryffindor.
Damn that Voldemort.
If he had just went for Harry first. But, nooo-oooo. Not Voldemort. Not Mister Wizard Formerly Known as Tom Riddle. No no, the dark lord guy had to go James, Lily, Dawn, then Harry on his killing order. The boy who lived... and he did. They had figured with a nickname like that the Key would have a very good chance of survival. How wrong they had been. One little curse, and green light changed a baby girl back into green energy. Oh how different Harry's life would have been if he'd had a sister.
But que sera sera.
Lesson the Second: Daybreak and a Day.
They really should have known better with the Addams.
Wednesday and Pugsley were the brother and sister of nightmares for most folks. They loved playing rough. It was ruled an accidental electrocution, but the Addams children always exchanged sly looks when it was discussed. It was possible it had been no accident after all. Wednesday, even at an early age, was not known for being particularly forgiving towards anyone who could be considered a victim. Perhaps and older sister who could be so vindictive was not the answer.
But once again que sera sera.
Lesson the Third: Sunrise of a Bitch!
Dawn lasted a bit longer with the Winchesters.
To thirteen, in fact. If their women weren't cursed to perish by fire on the ceiling due to that demon, she might have lasted a bit longer. Because, the Winchester men? Damn, if they didn't guard what they considered theirs with a meticulousness that was frightening at times. This guarding was so fierce it included their cars, but poor Dawn hits puberty though, and that thing hits her. It finds her. It burns her, as it burned their mother Mary. It did, however, make Sam more passionate and obsessive about killing the demon. After all, the thing had killed his mom, his older sister, and his girlfriend. Dean was also moodier, snarkier, and more brooding because he'd been the one to see her afire. They all saw fire in their heads. John saw Mary, Dean saw Dawn, and Sam saw Jess. Dean was a maniac about it. He was supposed to watch baby sister and baby brother. She probably would not have done well as the middle child anyhow though. Jan Brady to Dean's Marcia and Sam's Cindy? The Brady Issues Bunch, anyone?
So que sera sera, whatever will be will be.
Lesson the Fourth: Kanes Disabled.
And who would have guessed Aaron Echolls was crazy?
Who would have guessed he'd go all 'teenage girl killing spree' up in Neptune? You'd think those monks would have learned their lesson with Harry, but no, they decided to try to make her a twin again. Dawn was found strangled not too far from the bludgeoned body of her sister Lily. The coroner figured Lily had been killed first. Dawn had obviously stumbled upon Lily and her murderer, and said murderer had decided to wring her neck and throw her down next to Lily.
As their brother Duncan had found them both and later had his eye for an eye about it, their best friend Veronica had solved the case. Funny that in the course of all her sleuthing it had been Veronica who had found out about Lily sneaking about with Weevil, and Dawn sneaking about with Logan. Because the big group of them as far as couples went had been Veronica and Duncan, Lily and Logan, and Dawn and Dick. Yes, Dick Casablancas. With a boyfriend like that, it was no wonder that she'd taken to Logan when she'd noticed Lily was not any longer. Veronica couldn't really blame her. After all, who had she herself been making out with about a year later? Yeah, Logan had a taste of all three of them. Lucky him or lucky them, it still had not been decided.
Logan must had had some sort of Kane girl catnip about him.
If Dawn had lasted, those monks were going to work it out where Veronica HAD been the third sister. Oh the agony. Oh the Shakespearean tragedy of it all. Especially considering the whole Duncan aspect of it all. Yes, oh the agony.
And oh the irritation of having to create yet another life and insert the Key into it. Why couldn't they get this right?
Que sera squared.
Lesson the Fifth: Grr Arg!
The past seemed like a good place to hide her.
Until she was hanged for piracy. HANGED FOR PIRACY. An innocent like the Key hanged for piracy. Well, she had not exactly been innocent still by the time she was hung. After all, they had made her be Dawn Sparrow. With an older brother like Jack, how could she be anything except wickedness personified? How could she not have had a swagger? How could she not have known how to cheat at cards, fire a pistol, and use a saber? She could also spit farther than most of the men on the crew. It was a pity that Norrington had been shot while trying to stop the hanging. His affinity for Jack's baby sister was much talked about. He did so adore her against his will. It could have been one of those love affairs that got written about for ages. Like Romeo and Juliet but with parrots, peg legs, treasure maps, and cannons. And on the seas!
Que ser-arg ser-arg.
In Summary: Blondes Have More Fundamentally Bratty Sisters.
They finally got it right with the slayer... after one do-over.
The first time on Glory's tower Buffy let Dawn jump. It had been going so well until then. The monks just backtracked a 'fixed' it. They were awfully tired of building whole lives. They made that sisterly bond a bit stronger. After all, Buffy Summers had never been known for being the sharpest stake in the weapons chest.
The second time it went just as it should have.
Even though there had been quite the argument on WHICH slayer to give her to. But how much protecting could Faith have done from prison? And someone had suggested rewriting it all and having her be out of prison. Then there had been headaches, and Buffy Round Two had won by default. And laziness and exhaustion on the part of the monks.
Que... you know the rest.