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Summary: Labyrinth / HP Sarah wasnt unchanged when she defeated Jareth, now she has to learn to live with the consequences. Luckily, there is this school in Scotland that can help...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories > Crossover: Labyrinth(Past Donor)chaoseternusFR133132,05024340,11926 Nov 0612 Apr 09No

Chapter 14: Oafs

Chapter 14: Oafs

“She comes,” Goyle grunted, his face turning away from the window, a disturbed expression on his ugly, fat face, “from the oafs house, and she’s wearing one of his jumpers”

Crabbes eyes glazed over, then he shuddered, “Hagrid better not be getting any, ‘cos I haven’t”

“We’re pureblood, we’re better, we choose which girls are worthy of us and I choose her… and if the oaf has got their first, he dies and so does she. Tainted…” he finished disgusted, going silent, the strain of his unusually long speech having no doubt overloaded his brain cell, which thanks to the time share arrangement he had with his cousin, his brother and his nephew (Crabbe in all three cases), was currently his to use.

“Hide,” Crabbe managed to grunt out.

Goyle nodded, slipping behind a pillar, trying carefully to look around at the entrance way without being seen.

He tried to grin evilly as Sarah walked in the doorway, on his podgy, pale and battered face, it just looked disturbing.

He walked, his face twitching and becoming strained with the effort of suppressing an urge to sneeze, the result made him look as if he had far too much fibre in his diet…

The effort was too much, and he sneezed violently, the noise loud in the quiet of the entrance hall, as yet undisturbed by the legions of still sleeping students.

“Who’s there?” he heard and with a curse, he stepped away from the pillar, wand raised, catching the moving form of Crabbe joining him out of the corner of his eye.

“Vengeance,” he said simply, “Tarantal-argh!”

“Ludo fwiend”

Annoyed, Goyle glanced around to see what foolishly stupid oaf had their hands around his neck and just had time to widen his eyes in shock before the oncoming head of his friend Crabbe knocked him senseless.


“Idiots,” Sarah shook her head, “inbred and stupid. I suspect they have there brain cells by timeshare but frankly, I’m not sure if I would want to find out for definite”

“Indeed not,” Sir Didimus commented, looking down in more ways then one at the insensible forms of the two slytherins, “cowards, hiding in ambush, that’s no way to fight. Dishonourable in the extreme”

“Ludo crush?”

Sarah smiled at her friend, “tempting but no”

She chuckled, the chuckle turning swiftly into full blown maliciously devilruss laughter which made Ludo and Sir Didimus exchange somewhat startled and afraid glances. They didn’t get to see this side of their friend often, but when they did… best not to be on the receiving side. Any moment now she would no doubt say those immortal words…

“I,” Sarah proclaimed, her face somehow managing to proclaim pure innocence and pure malice at the same time, “have an idea”


Snape had long ago had a vision, a bountiful idea of how to avoid the student body whenever possible. Not only did it involve using every possible opportunity to scare the brats away from his chambers, allowing him to work undisturbed on the potions he was constantly trying to invent or improve, not only did it mean destroying the confidence of those who might one day have the skill to supplant him, a feat he had managed with ridiculous ease in the case of Longbottom, but it also involved, where possible, not being at meals at the same times as the students.

Hence why he arrived at the hall for his breakfast a full hour before the bulk of the student body would arrive. Often he would have the room to himself, but if he didn’t, it was usually the bookish Ravenclaws proving once more that they might have brains but they didn’t have any common sense, I mean, who reads textbooks at six or seven in the morning?

Other then Granger of course…

He grinned as he saw two of his favourites by the door, a perfect start to the day, those two brats were always up unhealthily early, reading and studying. This might be a school but still, doing actual schoolwork this early was unnatural, it showed the complete lack of common sense he expected from Ravenclaws.

No, this time of the morning was for bed, and finding stupid Ravenclaws to terrify. Oh, and breakfast so he could avoid the main student body of course.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” he asked silkily, “blocking the door, standing as if stupefied, tut tut, I may have to remove say… ten points for such idiocy?”

“huggrele” one of the Ravenclaws managed to very articulately say as he raised his hand, pointing into his room.

Despite himself, Snape followed the arm and looked, a sneer etched onto his face.

His jaw dropped, a shudder passing across his body, his expression turning agog, then disgusted, stupefied, then slowly, maliciously, a smile crept his way across his face. On him, it was a highly disturbing expression.

He raised his wand towards his throat, now ignoring the two ravenclaws, his expression fixed firmly on the halls new decoration.

“Dumbledore,” he said calmly, “I’m afraid there has been an accident in the main hall, could you come down here please?”

“Tell me I should come to breakfast at the regular time, hah!” he muttered, dropping the wand away from his face, smirking as he glanced at the disturbed, stupefied expression of the two Ravenclaws.

He had an insane urge to blow up a paperbag and pop it right behind them just to see how far they would jump, but he couldn’t. It wouldn’t work with his image, a pity….


“It was Sarah, I don’t doubt that” McGonagall shuddered, carefully sipping from her triple measure of whiskey”

“I am inclined to agree,” Dumbledore commented, shuddering, “and I must say, Snape had far too much fun with that”

“Indeed,” she replied, her expression pinched, “though I would love to know exactly how he managed to persuade Ginny of all people to pop that blasted bag. I jumped nearly ten foot!”

Dumbledore chuckled, “I wasn’t aware he had a funny bone in him”

“He does,” McGonagall shot back, “it’s called his humorous”

Dumbledore carefully resisted the urge to roll his eyes, “perhaps… but I must say, things have never been as interesting before”

“Interesting?” McGonagall gasped, “Albus, she had Crabbe and Goyle of all the people, tied to the Slytherin table, stark naked! I may never get that image out of my mind”

Dumbledore grimaced in agreement, “it was… disturbing”

“And small,” McGonagall replied, and then flushed.

Carefully, Albus erased her comment from his mind.

It didn’t work, nor did his twentieth attempt at removing the image from his mind.

“Albus, what are we going to do with her?”

He chuckled, “Lucius is dead, Draco has publicly announced his opinion on the ‘Dark Fart’, renounced his father and appears to be happier then he has in years. Knowingly or not, Sarah revealed to the school that Crabbe and Goyle already have the dark mark and yes McGonagall, it’s genuine. I myself checked that, as well as twenty experienced Aurors. With such visible proof of new Dark Marks the ministry has now privately admitted the return of the Dark Lord and is currently cleaning out its own house prior to taking action against the Deatheaters, Fudge is under investigation, his response to the proof of the Dark Lords return considered suspicious and the Imperious is suspected”

He smiled, “I rather think she has done pretty well. I am now watching with both dread and anticipation for her next move”

McGonagall’s face grew even more pinched, and then she reached for the bottle of Whiskey, “I suspect I am going to need some more of this”
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