Your Hostess, Little Debbie

See Ch. 1 for disclaimer. I make no promises that there will be more chapters. But there might. Maybe.


"These items are the pinnacle of our civilization, Ishta" Xander proclaimed, gesturing grandly at the mess table.

She gave him her 'you're kidding, right?' look. Which differed from her 'you are the strangest Tau'ri I have ever met, including Jack O'Neill' look in that her right eyebrow was one millimeter lower than her left.

Xander picked up one of the packages and tore into it. "Self-contained packages, sturdy enough to withstand being tossed in a backpack or a nuclear holocaust while retaining their squishy, calorie-laden goodness. And, if I have studied my Mad Max movies correctly, we will need all the calories possible to maintain our musculature. Plus, the oils can be reused in an emergency as hair product!" Xander stuffed the entire yellow oblong into his mouth.

"These are... not MREs?" Ishta asked, picking up a package with an octagonal cake inside.

"They are better than MREs! Well, they taste better, at least. Kind of. The chemical and artificial flavor's completely hidden by the diabetes-inducing amount of high fructose corn syrup." Xander took the package away from her and pointed at the top of the cake. "Plus, sprinkles!"

She took the cake back from him and opened the package. After an encouraging nod from Xander, she took a small bite out of the corner.

She chewed carefully, and her left eyebrow went up another centimeter. She didn't have to say it, she knew he knew what she meant, but some things just need to be said.

"You are the strangest Tau'ri I have ever met, Xander Harris."