The Changes

Joe's Note: Wow, that's a buttload of reviews. Maybe I should have done the obligatory Xander YAHF earlier? Oh well. I know the pronouns/masculinity is going to be a bit weird to read - 'his breasts' and the like - but I'll intentionally be using those until Xander at least comes to grips with his situation enough to pick a new name, at which point we'll switch to feminine. And now… it's once more into the abyss…


     Xander stared at himself in the mirror, still in awe - and plenty of shock - of how completely un-Xander-like he now looked. His body had somehow shed four inches in the transformation, dropping him from 5'11" to 5'7". Willow was now only an inch shorter than him. Considering he'd been taller than her since either kindergarten or first grade, that was incredibly odd.

     His eyes had shifted from brown to green and his hair now reached down to slightly past his shoulders, his formerly brown locks having newly acquired a bit of a red tint. Nowhere near Mary Jane's famous flaming red mane, but not quite the boring brown he'd had earlier that evening. And then there were the really obvious changes, like the lack of Xander Junior, the part he received as a replacement for the missing Xander Junior, the wider hips, the bigger butt, and of course… the breasts.

     Bringing his hands up, Xander cupped his breasts. He wasn't sure how big they were, given his quite limited - read: non-existant - experience with breasts before today. They looked bigger than Willow's, which meant he was bigger than Buffy too. Maybe Cordelia-sized? Pressing them up and together, he stared down at the cleavage that was created. It looked pretty similar to Cordy's cleavage. Huh. That was kind of freaky. Cordelia was pretty close to the biggest at school. What did that make him? Well, other than really sexy.

     There was an odd thought for him to try and process. Sexy. Cordelia was sexy, both in his mind and the minds of others from the way guys chased after her. And his new body looked pretty similar to hers. So if she was sexy, and he looked like her, then that made him sexy too.

     Now that was an odd and disturbing thought.

     "Are you doing stuff to yourself?" Xander looked into the mirror rather than glancing back over his shoulder, finding that Willow had cracked the door open while he'd been occupied by inspecting his new form and was poking her head through the gap to peer at him. "Because when I agreed to help you learn basic girl stuff, that wasn't part of it."

     Using one arm to cover his chest, Xander turned to face Willow. "Don't worry, we're staying PG here. Guys who turn into girls and then get all nasty and naughty? That's the kind of thing that only happens in those stories you have bookmarked on your computer."

     Willow blushed violently and then scowled at Xander. "Somebody's been being nosy again. Just for that, you get the Carebear pajamas." Hurling a bundle of pink fabric at him, Willow pulled the bathroom door shut with a slam.

     "Carebear pajamas?" Xander untangled the ball of clothes before wincing. Oh God. They were worse than anything his mind had conjured up. "They're pink. They're pink Love-a-Lot Bear pajamas. I am not wearing these. Oh no. No no no. Absolutely not."

     "Should have thought of that before you went snooping through my computer, smart guy." Willow's voice came through the door quite clearly, making Xander pretty sure that the redhead was leaning on it, waiting for him. "Or… is that smart girl now? Anyways, snooping is bad. So now you get punished. It's either that or nothing."

     "I'm pretty sure naked would be better than Carebears. And what do you expect when you leave a folder called 'Naughty' on your computer? That's like putting up a sign that says 'Top Secret, Do Not Enter'." Looking between the pajamas and the door, Xander sighed noisily. Willow was being nice and trying to help him. Pissing her off would be of the bad. And he was pretty sure Willow didn't want to see a half or fully naked girl wandering around her bedroom.

     As he reached for the waistband of the red and blue costume pants he was still wearing, Xander became aware of a rather uncomfortable fullness in his abdomen. It was just different enough from what he was used to feeling that it took him a minute to process what the problem was, but then it clicked. Looking over at the toilet, Xander groaned. Oh, this was going to be fun…

     Somewhere up there, God was mocking him. Heartily so. So was a guy named Paul. Just because God needed someone to crack his jokes to.


     After the most uncomfortable visit to the toilet since that summer when he'd gotten sunburned on the backs of his thighs, Xander pulled on the tank top and pajama pants - ignoring how weird it felt to be wearing a shirt yet still be able to see so much of his own skin - and wandered out into Willow's room. His best friend was sprawled out on her stomach on the bed, flipping through a book.

     As he stood there staring at her, something occurred to Xander. Why hadn't he ever noticed that Willow was a girl before? Not just a girl, but a kinda pretty girl, even? With the extra voice whispering at the back of his mind, he even had the ability to put words to precisely what he liked about her. She had remarkably even skin tone for someone with red hair and green eyes, having escaped the frecklefest that most redheads - including Mayday's mother - were saddled with, and while Xander was generally a fan of more buxom women, Willow was still curvaceous enough to avoid looking like the underfed, overbleached preppy girls that trailed after Cordelia like the sheep they were.

     Her butt kinda made up for the lack of breasts, too. Xander tilted his head to one side as he continued to inspect his oblivious friend. It wasn't a huge bubble butt or anything, but she was no pancake and what she did have created a nice swell in the back of her pale blue Hello Kitty pajama pants. Why did she waste a figure like that on funny hats, jumpers, and fluffy sweaters, he wondered.

     Wait a minute. Where had that all come from? Willow was Willow. He wasn't supposed to be checking out his best friend and drooling over her like the girls in his magazines or at school. Xander paused. Then again, he wasn't supposed to have breasts and a few other body parts he hadn't been born with, so the whole situation was one that wasn't supposed to be happening. Maybe he'd just roll with it. After all, it was only temporary. Giles would fix him in no time.

     He suddenly had a random thought: would being with Willow make them straight or lesbians now? Cuz he was a guy. Mostly. Okay, kinda sorta not really. Fine, it probably would be lesbianism. If Willow liked girls and liked him and he wanted to risk crossing that line with his best friend. Which he didn't. No matter how much he was curious about having hands other than his own touch his breasts, just to see if they were actually good for anything or if girls just sorta rolled their eyes and faked interest at having guys paw at them.

     Well, no guys in this case. If anyone would be pawing at him, it would be a girl, thank you very much. Xander may have had to sit to pee at the moment, but he wasn't that much of a girl. Or rather that kind of girl, he mused, since there were girls who were really girls who preferred girls to do that sort of thing to them…

     "You okay?" Willow's voice shook Xander from his thoughts. The redhead's eyes wandered up and down his form and Xander blinked. Was Willow checking him out? Or was she just making sure he had gotten dressed okay? Probably the latter, he reassured himself. And Willow's eyes had stayed glued to his chest and the large expanse of cleavage visible because… uh… hmm. Was Willow checking him out? "Xander? No problems with the bathroom or anything?"

     Putting thoughts of Willow and lesbianism out of his mind, Xander shook his head no. "Definitely of the weird, but I figured everything out. I think. I hope. How are you handling this? I mean, you're still fine with me being here until we figure this out, right?"

     Willow nodded quickly. "Of course I am. And we're going to find an answer. Giles has his books and magical contacts and who knows what else, and I can get on the Internet and look for help. I want my Xander-shaped friend back because it's not right seeing you like this and I definitely shouldn't be thinking you're hot still or still wanting you and oh gosh this is so weird and I don't know what's wrong with me and you probably think I'm a giant freak now…"

     By that point, Willow was starting to tear up a bit and that was something Xander still knew how to handle. Moving to sit on the bed, Xander wrapped his arms around Willow and hugged her to his chest as she sniffled. Her arms wrapped tight around his waist and he found his smaller body tipping forward as she hugged him close, pulling him down atop her.

     Some things never changed, he realized. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. He'd still be the same old Xander doing the same old Xander things. Hanging with his Wills, having her dumb stuff down for him and passing it on because she was the big brain and he was just Xander…. it wasn't going to be that big a difference for him. Even if he now knew that not only did Willow like him, but liked girl-him… her… whatever… just as much.

     Oh wait. Willow's breasts were squished against his breasts as she clung to him.

     Scratch that.


     Such a busy, complicated mind. And so disjointed as well. Frowning, J'onn J'onzz sent tendrils deeper into his target's thoughts, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. It was almost as if she… wait, he? Despite what he recognized as a human female shell, the personality inside was a human male. Somewhat. There was a weak, secondary presence that was decidedly female, while the primary personality was in flux.

     How very odd.

     Something had gone on in this town tonight, of that much J'onn was certain. It was why he was there; someone had attempted to access a few of Bruce Wayne's less-known financial resources, and almost gotten away with it. Bruce was annoyed, J'onn was unoccupied, and now J'onn was occupied. It worked out fairly well.

     After a moment's debate, he decided to move on. Whatever the boy-girl creature sleeping in their redheaded friend's bed was, it wasn't connected to the attack on Bruce's finances and therefore it wasn't relevant. If he had time, he would return later to investigate the matter further. Human adolescents were such an odd breed, and he hadn't practiced walking among them in quite some time. It would be good for him.

     Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out another Oreo and twisted the two halves apart, licking at the filling as he floated up off the roof and into the night.


     It was times like this made Xander realize why Giles cleaned his glasses so much: it kept his hands busy to keep him from either tearing his hair out or throwing something at someone. Both of which could be in the near future for him… her… whichever… given the news he'd just gotten. "So… I'm stuck like this? I mean, there's got to be more places to check, right? How much could you have possibly done between last night and now? You're not all bloodshot and snappy, so I know you slept so that's even less hours for looking…"

     Giles sighed and looked down at the pad of paper in front of him. "It didn't take more than a few calls. One to the Council, and then one each to my connection on a few different… let's think of them as mystical phone trees. They called around to discuss your problem, those people did the looking in their own areas of expertise, and then my contacts got back to me. I'm sorry, but nobody I'm in contact with knows how to deal with chaos magic of this magnitude. Even the Department of Mysteries has never heard of anything like this. If I could convince the Council to grease some wheels, the American Department of Magic might be able to send someone out to regularly transfigure you back into your male self but you would only remain male for a period of time before shifting back… which could cause many more problems."

     "Like if I had to explain why Xander Harris just turned from a guy into a hot chick in the middle of math class. Gotcha." Xander sighed and hopped up to sit on the edge of Giles's desk. The fact that he had to hop now just reinforced the fact that he wasn't who'd been just a few days ago. He really wasn't Xander anymore, no matter how much he wanted to deny that fact. "Well, look on the bright side I guess. It's not like Xander Harris was going very far very fast. New me, new lease on life, new chance to end up being a nobody going nowhere."

     Giving him a pitying look, Giles shifted uncomfortably in his desk chair. "I realize that given your circumstances, it's not possible for you to discuss this with a professional, but if you need to talk about this, I'll do my best to help you. So will Jenny."

     Xander laughed a bit at that. "Do you really want to hear about the joys of trying to go to the bathroom as a girl or how annoying it is trying to run with a chest that doesn't stop moving?" He gestured to his breasts and Giles shifted again, now looking supremely uncomfortable. "Thanks for the offer, Giles, but I think I'll be hitting up Ms. Calendar if I really need something. Now I just need to figure out what to do with myself."

     "Before you go, though… as much as I know you didn't want one, you do need a new name." Giles gestured to a piece of paper waiting on the desk beside Xander. "I have a small survey here you'll need to fill out to establish details about your new identity. After that, the Department's Bureau of Reestablishment has a fund that provides money to people who are affected by life-altering magical events against their will. That should take care of clothing you for the short-term, and they'll also get papers ready so that you can rejoin the student body as an exchange student from New York. They had me forward some information about recently deceased students, and so they're arranging it so one of your unlucky former peers is supposedly in New York while you're here. Once I have the details to forward to them, it should only be a matter of hours before a new teenage girl officially exists and you have a new life. Amazingly efficient, especially compared to the Council and the Ministry. I was pleasantly surprised."

     Xander's jaw worked for a moment but nothing came out. "That's… a bit creepy but really nice of them. Nice for obvious reasons; creepy that they can throw around that kind of power without thinking for a nobody kid in a nothing town. Wow. Well, thank… whoever you talk to… for me. A lot." Looking down at the paper, Xander sighed. "So… a name. Not Joan. Definitely not Joan." Turning away, she leaned forward and planted her elbows on her knees, thinking it over. "No. No. No. Might be fun to torture Cordelia by having the same name, but that'd get old fast. Same with the rest of the Cordettes. Is there a feminine form of 'Rupert', Giles? Just kidding. Hmm…"


     Xander looked down at the papers in his hand as he walked back into Willow's house. He… was no longer Alexander. Or, well, technically a he anymore. Although he was pretty smart if he did say so himself. New first name, variant middle name. After he left high school for college - assuming he went - or work, he could switch back to using Xander without it seeming totally out of left field. A bit odd and masculine, but not totally out there. "Willow, I'm back!"

     Silence greeted him and Xander raised an eyebrow. Either Willow had wandered off even though the lights in her room were on and she'd promised not to go anywhere… or she was really into whatever she was doing. Probably the latter, knowing her; homework or something. Hustling up the stairs, Xander dropped his stuff next to the dresser as he entered Willow's room.

     Willow actually hadn't gotten far from where he'd left her. She was still hunched over the keyboard, staring at the computer screen as she did… something or another. Creeping closer, Xander peered over her shoulder and took a look at what she was doing. It was some kind of story. His eyes widened as he processed the words. "'Jean moaned slightly at the feel of Emma's lips against her own, her hands coming to the blonde's shoulders.'? Willow, what the heck is this?"

     There was a moment where Willow's head just turned to look at him, before she realized what was going on and her eyes widened. "Eeeeep!" Her fingers flew over the keyboard, closing out of that window along with the one beneath it, leaving only her email program on the screen. "Xander! When did you get back?"

     "With how slowly you were reading this?" Xander wrapped his arms around her shoulders, dropping his chin to rest on her shoulder. "Probably about the point where Emma Frost decided to make a move on Jean Grey. Why are you reading X-Men femmeslash?"

     Willow groaned and dropped her head to rest on the keyboard, causing a new email to open up and a string of gibberish letters to begin scrolling across the screen. "I sorta wanted to see if I just thought you were hot because you're a different-but-still-Xander-shaped friend or if I was kinda gay now?"

     Leaning back, Xander bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud. "Very scientific of you. So, Dr. Rosenberg, what were the results of your sexperiment?"

     "Hey, it made sense to me." Willow pulled out of his arms, sitting up and spinning her chair around to face Xander as he backed away to sit on the bed. "And I've been looking at stories and picture all night and nothing. I think it's just you… which makes sense because I really didn't look at a lot of guys, either. Maybe I'm just… Xandersexual?"

     Xander choked a bit at the term, but couldn't help but laugh when Willow blushed bright red. "So you don't think anyone at school is attractive?" he wondered. While the little bits of teenage girl in his mind had allowed him to revisit the last few years of his life and realize how big of a crush Willow had on him, he hadn't thought it was so bad that she'd pretty much cut herself off from being interested in anyone else.

     Sighing, Willow opened her mouth and confessed something Xander never thought he'd hear from his best friend. "Cordelia's kinda pretty. If you're looking at a picture of her and not actually having to deal with her because she's a horribly mean person who hates everyone. And a few of the other girls at school are too. But not like girl-you or guy-you to me."

     "Amen to that on the Cordy thing." Something occurred to Xander and he grinned. "And hey, I'll be able to stare at her plenty in the locker room starting next week." Willow looked a bit confused. "Giles's big news? The reason I went running across town in pajamas that barely fit me and that raincoat of yours? I'm essentially stuck like this unless some miracle cure pops up. Well, assuming none of his contacts were too lazy to actually do the work and didn't just say 'yeah, nothing doing' or anything. But anyways, the government has some Department of Magic group that's going to give me a bunch of money and set me up as an exchange student from New York, since I have memories of the city and can play it well. And so I'll be back at school with you. Just not as Xander."

     Willow squealed and bounced up and down a bit in her chair. "Oh oh oh! What'd you pick? Please tell me you chose Tara? You're definitely a Tara." Xander rolled his eyes, remembering the discussion he'd awoke to in the library, and pointed at where he'd dropped his stuff upon entering the room. Willow lunged towards the manila folder, making Xander wince in sympathy at the rug burn she was probably going to end up with. Flipping it open, Willow rummaged through the templates he and Giles had filled out and faxed so that American magical government group could get to work on his new identity. The third one down was a birth certificate. "Callista Alexandre McKinney? That's… hey, McKinney sounds familiar."

     Reaching over, Xander picked up a rather dog-eared paperback on Willow's nightstand. "Author of the book you were reading. I didn't want to be like, Smith or Jones, or try to act like it was a coincidence that I had the same last name as one of you guys. Oh, and it was cool. You should have seen it; Giles read off the answers on the survey I took to someone on the phone and then twenty minutes later, pop, the folder appears on his desk and it's all there. The computer records and transcripts and stuff will take longer, but there's the whole kit and kaboodle as far as certificates and cards goes." Looking down at the book in his hand, he shook his head. "And here I thought Buffy was the only one with a thing for vampire sex…"

     "It's a really interesting and well-written book and… okay, the sex is hot." Willow blushed all over again, snatching the book off her nightstand before throwing it into her open closet and closing the door. "So… where are you staying tonight?"

     Xander paused for a moment to think about that one. Willow's house did have a guest room - three in fact - and he was supposed to be moving into one of them. On the other hand, Willow had fallen asleep on him after her little crying jag the night before and the two had remained curled up until they'd awoken that morning. And, given the rather hopeful expression on her face, Willow was willing to repeat the experience.

     He wasn't sure exactly what he wanted. The fact that Willow still wanted to be this close to him even now that he was totally different made him feel better about things and made the whole situation easier to deal with. A bit of normalcy in his strange new world. On the other hand, since he knew that Willow was still attracted to him even now that he was girltastic but he didn't know how he felt about her, it felt a bit like leading her on. Not to mention sharing a bed with a pretty girl, even if it was just his best friend, made sleep a bit harder to achieve…

     After a few more seconds of contemplation, Xander decided what to do. "I think that since Buffy is coming over early tomorrow to pick me up to go shopping, I should probably… stay in here so you can make sure I'm up in time. You know how much of a morning person I'm not. And I can't believe I'm saying it, but I can't wait to go shopping. Running across town in Carebear pajamas? Barefoot? It's the kind of fun that's not. I can't wait to have real clothes. And shoes. Just a pair or two, though. Not like Buffy's room."

     The way Willow's face lit up in a brilliant smile made him - mostly - sure he'd made the right decision. For now. "Okay, let me get you a new pair of pajamas to wear and then you can take a shower and get changed. And then we can have dinner. Any ideas, Xander? Callista. I should probably get used to calling you that. It's a really pretty name, come to think of it. Where did you get the idea to use it? And we should probably work on what story you're going to tell all the people at school because everyone's going to want to talk to the new girl and you don't want to look like an idiot especially since the teachers are probably going to make you stand up and say something in front of each class because they like to do that to the new students…"

     "God, Willow, at least give me a chance to answer a question before you ask ten more." Willow blushed faintly as Xander threw one arm around her shoulder to give her a hug. "As for Callista, I used the computer in the library to hop on this baby name website. Mine actually meant… can you believe this? 'Defender of man'. How stupid is that? So I went from there through other Greek names, and came up with Callista. It means 'most beautiful'."

     Willow eyed him oddly. "Uh… huh. Someone's feeling vain today."

     Tossing his head and huffing, Xander stuck his noise in the air and adopted the same tone the Cordettes often used. "Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it."

     "Dork."