A.N. So sorry this fic hasn’t been updated for a long time. The part of the reason for the delay was because a year ago I had computer issues. There was a virus on my old computer apparently and when I went to update the virus protection everything was deleted, including about ten new chapters of various fics. While I wasn’t quite done with this update the virus still deleted what I had written and hadn’t saved. Runaway Slayer and her Demon new chapter was also erased, that one really ticked me off because I had just finished it the afternoon the virus deleted everything. I’ve had a new laptop for about ten months but I hadn’t felt like rewriting the BTVS chapters. Unfortunately when I’m writing BTVS fics I have to be in the right mood to do it and that doesn’t happen as often as I’d like. Since I’ve finished this chapter I’m planning to work on Runaway Slayer and Her Demon next, don’t know when it will be posted but I am working on.
Ignoring the arguments from the majority of the room Buffy turned back toward Dean and Sam. “You two can stay here…in fact I’d recommend it. Motels aren’t exactly a safe choice in this town.”
“We’ll get our stuff.” Dean didn’t look away from Buffy’s eyes. They were sparking with anger and determination. “Where will we sleep?” He raked his gaze over her petite and toned body.
She smiled. “My room.” Buffy took a step closer to him; it’s been so long since she had sex and even longer since she had it with someone she cared for, even loved.
With Spike she grew to care for him but it was after he came back from fighting for his soul. When they were having sex she didn’t care about his needs, his wants, all she wanted was her pleasure. Spike’s feelings didn’t matter at the time; she still looked back on those moments and cringed. Not necessarily for the acts they’d done but for how she treated him. There was no excuse for it.
Sam rolled his eyes at the interplay between his brother and their friend. He was positive that invitation to sleep in her room applied only to Dean. They hadn’t seen each other for over six months and having seen first hand how…desperate they could be for each other he doubted he’d even want to stay in Buffy’s room with them.
“Why don’t I go help you with your stuff?” Buffy offered.
“That sounds real good.” Dean agreed, he opened the door letting Buffy go first and left Sam and the others in the room staring after him and Buffy.
Sam waved to them. “Don’t worry about me. I’m sure I can figure out where I’m going to sleep.” He sarcastically called.
“Knew you would Sammy.” Dean shouted back.
Away from the tension inside the house Buffy finally breathed deeply and calmed herself. “You’re timings impeccable, as always.” She smiled.
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Dean asked. He opened the back driver’s side door and pulled out his bag.
Buffy leaned her back against the side. “A good thing. You and Sam seem to show up right when I need you.” She tilted her head back and stared up at the starry night. “Are you stalking me?” Buffy teased.
Dean shrugged. “Of course I am. How else would I know when you need me?” His eyes glittered with mischief. He nodded toward the house, “It’s hairy in there. What’s going on?”
“Short version or long version?”
“Whatever gives me enough to know what’s going on?”
Buffy sighed and reached into the Impala grabbing Sam’s bag. “The First is back. You remember me telling you about that first encounter?”
Dean nodded, she’d been dating a guy named Angel who had some personal demons and the First manipulated him into seeing the spirits of the people he’d wronged. “You told me the summer after your senior year.”
“Yes, anyway this year it’s stronger and pissed—more pissed off actually.” She shook her head. “Apparently when Willow brought me back it caused an imbalance in the universe. A vessel for the ultimate good came back so a vessel for the ultimate evil was able to come back or be made or chosen. I really don’t know how Caleb came to be.”
“Caleb?” He and Buffy hadn’t talked for months so he was out of the loop on who people were.
“A preacher man that is being used by the First to do It’s bidding. I guess he can see It. He’s strong…” She closed her eyes briefly, “stronger than me.” She hated admitting she wasn’t strong enough but Caleb wiped the floor with her earlier that day, he didn’t even break a sweat.
Dean put his bag on the trunk of the Impala. “Is that possible? Some creature being physically stronger than you?” He didn’t know much about the Slayer power but he knew Slayers were strong and he had yet to see a creature best Buffy in the strength department.
“Oh yea.” She shut the Impala door and held the straps of Sam’s duffel tightly in her own. “There have been plenty of things, Gods, various supernatural creatures, and man made things that have kicked my ass into next Sunday.”
Dean shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. Buffy didn’t talk a whole lot about slaying, especially in the beginning, while he on the other hand loved to talk about the things he’d seen and compare notes with fellow hunters; Buffy didn’t want her whole life to be about slaying. So she’d tell him and Sam certain things but not the whole story. They had hunting and slaying in common but that wasn’t what kept the three of them close, instead they bonded over favorite foods, family dysfunction, all the things non hunters bonded over.
He remembered when he first met her. An old buddy of Dad’s, Merrick, had managed to speed dial John’s car phone before he died. They had been an hour or so away from his apartment. When the three of them arrived the front door had been broken open and items were overturned and broken. Their search through the apartment ended in the kitchen. Merrick hadn’t survived much longer after his final phone call to John.
It was only fifteen minutes after John, Sam, and he found Merrick’s cooling body that Buffy came charging into the room yelling her Watcher’s name. He’d never forget her face of worry and terror when John caught her attention.
Before that night he’d only heard Buffy’s name spoken once by John when talking about Merrick’s slayer. Dean thought the name was a weird one to have then John told him and Sam what little information he knew about slayers.
When he first saw her he thought that John had been wrong. The petite girl in front of him couldn’t be the Slayer. For one her lips quivered and her eyes were shining with unshed tears, which didn’t evoke a bit of fear from him a feeling he thought she should bring to anyone standing in her eyesight.
Another reason was her cheerleading uniform. No creature would run in terror from a small girl in a cheerleading outfit who was close to tears. Comfort her and seduce her into bed sure but be a quivering mess at her feet no chance.
It wasn’t until he saw her face the three of them. Any tears in her eyes were replaced with suspicion and determination. When she opened her mouth and spoke to them her voice was as cold as ice. In that brief moment he was impressed.
“With the First on his side he’s two—three steps ahead of me. Before Giles came with the girls I’d been having nightmares about the other Potentials that had been killed throughout the weeks. When he did arrive with three new potentials in tow and explained who they were the dreams made sense. As the weeks continued I tried to teach the potentials to protect themselves and about slaying.” She swallowed hard her throat sore from holding too many emotions back for too long.
“That’s good. You’re doing your best to make sure they survive.” Dean assured her.
“But some of them didn’t.” She looked Dean in the eye. “Girls that I barely knew were killed, girls I promised to protect. I knew people would die, they always do. I do my best to keep people safe but it wasn’t good enough.” She didn’t say what she thought, that maybe she wasn’t good enough.
“No, that’s crap.” Dean fiercely stated. “You can’t blame yourself for some of the girls dying. Doing your best is all you can do. Nobody expects more than that.”
“I do. So does every person inside that house.” She pointed to the home that she’d lived in since day one in Sunnydale. “I do what I do best which is slay and I’m still losing this fight.”
“What does your heart tell you? What do your instincts tell you?” Dean prodded.
“That we’re going to lose more people before this over.”
Dean shook his head negatively. “No, that’s your fear taking over. What do your instincts tell you?” He said again.
Buffy breathed in and sighed audibly. So closed her eyes and searched within begging the answer to come. It shocked her a bit when it finally did. She opened her eyes and smiled. “That I can win. But it’s going to be really hard.”
“What else is new?” Dean teased. “Come on, I’m sure Sam is sweating like a pig being that close to so many girls. You can tell me everything else later.” He grabbed his bag and with Buffy walking next to him went back into the house.