Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Live on New Server

Weekend Pass 24

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking

This story is No. 3 in the series "The Wizarding Wars". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Sister Hermione Granger and Lieutenant Draco Malfoy are stuck on a grounded troop train containing an unexploded bomb.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories > Theme: Comedy(Past Donor)KiwikatipoFR1828,6581101,93814 Dec 0622 Dec 06Yes

2:40 pm to 2:30 am

2:30 pm Song Playing: ‘Summer of 69’ by Bryan Adams (Canadian Singer)

Hermione sipped her shandy contemplatively at her table in the officer’s bar. Everyone was drinking most heavily. Placing bets with each other. There was yet another organized sports match to be held at four pm.

Rusty had been coerced yet again, to play for the Wizarding Republic of Canada team. This time in an Aussie Rules Quidditch demonstration game. This Antipodean version of Quidditch had an oval shaped golden snitch. Many of the variations on the normal rules were quite complicated.

Rusty had been quite put out. At being ordered by acting Matron Longfeather, to get out on the train roof and damn well practice Weasley. The North Star Healing Units honor was at stake here, damn it.

He had left Hermione reluctantly. But not before giving her a knee trembling kiss in the middle of the officer’s bar.

And now Blue had his arm around Hermione’s shoulder again. People were singing along to the song coming through the train speakers.

Hermione’s cheeks were flushed from drinking so early in the day. Hermione had only been drinking lemonade and beer mixed together for the past hour, but the beer had a high alcohol content.

“You’re fantastic darl, I mean it.” Blue was saying to Hermione. And his hand was tilting her chin upwards. His mouth tasting of strong ale, was pressing against hers. His aftershave smelled of Eucalyptus.


3:15pm Song Playing: ‘Throw your Arms Around Me’ by Hunters and Collectors (Australian Band) (Most popular Australian wedding song)


“And we may never meet again, so shed your skin and let’s get started.” The Australian song blaring through the train speakers, was suggesting encouragingly to Blue and Hermione.

“Somewhere private.” Hermione panted, as she and Blue staggered out of the officer’s bar together, into the corridor, embracing feverishly. “My compartment’s no good, I’m sharing with Malfoy.”

“The cleaner’s cupboard.” Blue gasped, as Hermione put her hand on his hardened groin.

The pair fell into the cleaner’s cupboard, shutting the door behind them.

Blue raised Hermione’s skirt and thrust her back against the wall.

Hermione helped him pull off her regulation navy blue bloomers. The things were hideous! Thank god they were doing this in pitch black darkness.

His hands were feeling her in the dark, stroking her, discovering the wetness of desire between her legs.

He was casting an anti conception spell on his genitals. Hermione pulled out her own wand, to cast the latest anti STD spell developed by the British Isles military healers on her own nether regions.

They locked their mouths together again exuberantly. Locating each other by timeless instinct without aid of light.

Hermione was freeing his manhood from his crocodile skin trousers. Guiding him inside her. Wrapping her legs around his waist, as he entered and withdrew from her in swift steady rhythm.

“Oh god, oh god.” Hermione moaned deliriously with the physical pleasure of it all.

Draco flung open the cleaners cupboard door. “Thought that sounded like you Granger.” He commented disapprovingly. He started to hold the cleaning fluid bottles stored inside the cupboard, up to the light in the corridor examining them.

“Do you mind mate?” Blue said appalled to Draco. Bloody Oath!

“Oh, do go on please, pretend I’m not here.” Draco looked inside a cleaner’s pail. Empty. Ah hah! The duster pile.

“Excuse me Granger?” Draco crawled on the floor, sorting through cleaning rags at the copulating couple’s feet.

“You realize the only reason I’m not bashing your mate here to a bloody pulp, is because he’s clearly gone troppo?” Blue said to Hermione. He was still inside her. The couple was frozen where they were against the wall. Waiting until Draco left the cleaning cupboard, before they resumed their sexual congress.

“Does that mean loopy?” Hermione asked. Blue nodded. “Yes, well...”

Hermione gazed down at Draco on the floor. He was shaking out cleaning rags delicately.

“Draco Malfoy, I honestly think you should see someone… Unless, are you trying to act insane, so you can get sent home as unfit for active service you slacker?” Hermione suddenly accused Draco.

“No, I’m…” Draco’s mouth opened and closed like a distressed goldfish once more. “It doesn’t matter.” Draco left the cleaning cupboard, shutting the door behind him.

“Forget about him.” Hermione thrust her hips hedonistically forward onto Blue’s. “Ravish me Blue.”

4:45pm Song Playing: ‘Sk8ter Boi’ by Avril Lavigne (Canadian Singer)

Even the Parisian wizarding civilians on Platform 2 ½ Gare du Norde had stopped what they were doing, to watch interested, the aerial match above them.

“Aussie!, Aussie! Oi Oi Oi!” Blue was standing on the floating bench, cheering with his regiment, as the R.A.W. team kept smashing their Canadian opponents to smithereens.

“Is this truly sporting?!” Hermione yelled, standing beside him. Careful to keep her balance. Watching the match take place above the train carriages roofs. “You Australians seriously outnumber the Canadians on the train! Aussie Rules Quidditch is your national game!”

“Hermione darl, it’s a fair go for the Maple Leaf bastards. We gave them a two hundred point lead remember?” Blue laughed at her fears. Hugging her around her waist. “Anyway there’s a wizarding chess tournament at six. I’m on the team. That is as international as you can get. Crikey, what is your mental mate doing now?”

Draco was riding on his broomstick, looking underneath everyone’s floating benches and chairs. An irate Canadian Nurse poured her beer over his head.

5:30pm Song Playing: ‘Hallelujah’ cover of Jeff Buckley/ Leonard Cohen song by Damian Leith (Australian/Irish singer)

Hermione and Blue stood naked under the steaming hot water of the shower. Fondling each other salaciously in the officer’s bathroom cubicle they were in. Blue was sucking Hermione’s left breast sensually, his soap slicked hands running over her body.

“Excuse me again people.” Draco pulled aside the shower curtain. He reached his hand out for the shampoo bottle. Draco was sporting a black eye and split lip by now. He had angered so many wizarding military personnel today.

6:05pm Song Playing: ‘Man I feel Like a Woman’ by Shania Twain (Canadian Singer)

Rusty came up to a swaying Hermione, on the dance floor of the temporary seventies style discothèque set up in the mess carriage.

She was an onlooker to the competition limbo dancing happening at present, to alleviate the trapped troops’ boredom.

“So where were we baby?” Rusty slipped his arms around Hermione’s waist, nuzzling her neck in an arousing fashion.

“Look, I’m terribly sorry Rusty.” Hermione began. Goodness. Rusty’s hot mouth nibbling on her neck, was sending darts of desire directly to her over stimulated already loins. “But I’m with Blue now.”

“No, you’re not kid.” Rusty chuckled. “He’s with his team, sorting out the positions they’re gonna play for the wizarding chess tournament. I checked it out with him before I came here. If you’re willing to give me a try out in bed, while he sets up with his team. You can decide afterwards, who you truly want to spend the rest of the night with.”

“What am I, a piece of meat to be traded?” Hermione said, outraged. But excited by the shocking proposition shamefully. Rusty had been such a skilled snogger. If he was like that between the sheets….

“Don’t be like that baby.” Rusty soothed, noticing she wasn’t breaking away from him. “We both dig you. It’s a guy thing.”

“I don’t normally… I never…” Hermione could tell her moral compass was being flushed down the toilet this strange day.

“About time you did then, eh?” Rusty put his mouth on hers.

7:20pm Song Playing: ‘Almost Here’ duet by Delta Goodrem (Aussie) and Brian McFadden (Irish)

“Yes! You beautiful, beautiful thing!” Draco kissed the bomb, hysteric with happiness. It had been worth the near miss mauling by a polar bear, to finally locate the magical bomb hidden in the familiars’ carriage.

He took out his wand. “Disarm.” The ticking stopped.

Excellent, Draco was going to try and get his leg over with someone now.

8:41pm Song Playing: ‘She’s so high’ by Tal Bachman (Canadian Singer)

It turned out that Rusty had twisted the truth slightly, when he had said Blue was happy for Hermione to go to bed with Rusty. But somehow, Rusty had managed to manipulate both Hermione and Blue into being alright with the fact.

Rusty had spent an hour debauching Hermione in his compartment. Hermione had thought she would pass out through either pain or pleasure, several times with him.

Rusty was very charming, far more experienced in the ways of the world than both Hermione and Blue, and far more depraved.

He had a proposition to put to the pair of them, as the three sat drinking together once more in the officer’s bar.

Hermione was drinking champagne at the moment. It went with her new persona, of someone prepared to shag two different men in the same day, better than a shandy did she felt.

“Look, we both want Hermione. She wants both of us. We’re stuck on this train for another eight hours, most probably. Men vastly outnumber women here. Now I’m okay. I can swing both ways.” Rusty announced to his less sophisticated companions. “So I say we all hit the sack together now. Share and share alike.”

Hermione and Blue both looked doubtful. They could die next week. But they weren’t sure about this idea.

“You guys shy all of a sudden? That’s too cute.” Rusty smirked amused. He reached into his pocket. He pulled out a purple glass bottle to show them. “I have something here that will alleviate your needless inhibitions. We’re all adults aren’t we? Love potion no 9.”

“But that’s illegal … A class A magical drug.” Hermione stammered.

“Not in Canada, not in France. C’mon you guys, live a little.” Rusty persuaded.

9:13pm Song Playing : ‘Land Down Under’ by Men at Work (Australian band)
”Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men chunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover!

The speakers were still blaring their music across the grounded train.

“So you have a mansion in the Cotswold’s, you’re looking for a Mrs Malfoy yeah?” the freckled Australian female said to Draco in her compartment. “Drink up mate.” The homely captain urged Draco.

“Yeah, I find you very attractive and intelligent.” Draco told her silkily. “The kind of woman I could spend the rest of my life with.”

“Really?” Captain Shazza Fitzgerald inquired dubiously. “Tell me the truth Malfoy mate.”

“Well you’ve the type of face that should be covered by a veil. I think your tits are reasonable, but I’ve seen better. If we shag, I’m going to ask you to turn the lights off to be more romantic, but really it’s so I can pretend you’re someone else. My family fortune is lost…” Draco looked down at his beer bottle in disgust. “Shit, you spiked my drink with a truth potion didn’t you?”

“That’s right you false Pommie bastard. There’s the bloody door over there. Use it.” Captain Fitzgerald ordered him hurt. “Before I kick you out on your blond arse.”

10:00pm Song Playing: ‘Born to be Wild’ by Steppenwolf (two Canadian singers in band)

Draco entered his train compartment to change his uniform. Granger was in bed with her two colonials.

Hermione was being rogered from the front by Blue, she was being buggered up the arse by Rusty.

Bloody Hades, Draco sighed to himself.

“Are you being taken advantage of Granger?” Draco demanded. He was prepared to take the strapping colonials on if she was. Really didn’t want to, but hell, if he had to he would.

Hermione shook her head. “I’m exploring my sexual boundaries.” She explained. “Oh dear god!” she moaned. Hanging onto Blue’s neck for dear life.

“That’s a bloody relief.” Draco noticed the threesome’s eyes were all purple from the aphrodisac drug they had taken. “You’ll be sore in the morning Granger.” He warned.

“Healer.” Rusty informed Draco. “I have spells that cover the damage. Are you gonna stand and watch bud? Or do you wanna join us?”

“I’m entering the Trivial Pursuit contest at the officers’ bar in ten minutes.” Draco refused, changing into his clean uniform.

Draco left the shared compartment, shaking his head. This was going to end in tears for Granger, he internally predicted.

11:10pm Song Playing: ‘4Eva’ by the Veronicas (Australian girl band)

Hermione lay in the middle of Rusty and Blue. Rusty was asleep. Blue was facing her. They were both still awake.

“I don’t normally do this kind of thing.” Blue confessed, his eyes returned to their normal color. “In fact I’ve never bloody done anything remotely like this before.’

“Me neither, but there’s a war on. We all have to play our part.” Hermione replied. She kissed the palm of the hand he brought up to stroke her face.

“Is that it Hermione hey? This bloody war?” Blue kissed her. He pushed her back down against the mattress, re-entering her.

Hermione arched her back to allow him to penetrate her more deeply. She had never climaxed so many times before in such a short space of time in her life this evening. Magical enhancement did that to a girl’s libido.

She moaned as Blue thrust in and out of her slowly. Silencing her carnal sighs with his mouth.

“Come on baby we ain't gonna live forever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
I know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you”

Came more encouraging music from the loud speakers.

Rusty woke up, he propped his head on one elbow, watching Hermione and Blue make love beside him in the dimness.

Hermione and Blue knew he was watching them. They didn’t want him to participate in what they were sharing. But they didn’t care that Rusty was watching them. It had been a very strange day.

Hermione shuddered with the release of her orgasm. Blue following closely behind her. They were both covered in sweat. Blue kissed her on the forehead. He rolled off her, lying next to her he reached out to hold her hand.

“You kids are too sweet huh?” Rusty smiled without cynicism. “I’ll leave you to it.” He got out of bed. He seemed a lonely figure somehow.

“No wait.” Hermione put out a restraining hand, feeling sorry for him. “Don’t… Goodness, I’ve been shagging you both all day. Let’s take a break shall we?”

“Yeah.” Blue agreed sitting up, stroking Hermione’s hair. “There’s a dancing competition that should be going on in the mess carriage again. Let’s get cleaned up and watch that hey?”

“You guys are fricking babes in the wood.” Rusty laughed, touched at their friendliness. “Yeah, okay. For an hour. But after that? I’m going off to sleep in my own bed.”

12:17pm Song Playing: ‘I hate Everything about you’ 3Days Grace (Canadian Band)

Both being competent jitter buggers, Draco and Hermione had decided to partner up for the competition dances going on.

“You’re behaving like a complete slapper Granger.” Draco accused, he twisted her around the dance floor.

“I could die next week Malfoy. There’s a war on.” Hermione gave the response that had mollified her nagging conscience to her every decision this evening. “What do you jolly care anyway? And what the bloody hell were you up to today?”

“I care because you’ll be in a foul mood again, if you get your mudblood finer feelings trodden on. Playing with bloody fire tonight. That’s what you’re doing Granger.” Draco slammed her on the floor, to slide her through his legs.

“I know what I’m doing thank you Malfoy. In any case I’m sticking with Blue only, for the rest of our time together. So keep out of our compartment will you?” Hermione snapped, as he pulled her up again. “And you hurt my bum just then, when you dropped me on the ground.”

“Oh, didn’t mean to, excuse me.” Malfoy spun her round as forcefully as he could. “I can only imagine how physically delicate you must be at the moment.”

1:30pm Song Playing: ‘Reckless’ by Australian Crawl (Australian band)

“Really?” Hermione laughed, as she sat astride Blue. “What if I do this?” She lowered herself on his erect shaft. “Now try casting that spell.”

Blue grasped her hip bones, encouraging her rocking back and forth on him.

He sought her breast with his mouth once more. Hermione wrapped her hands in his hair. She bent her neck, to kiss the top of his head tenderly.

Oh dear, she was getting rather emotionally attached to Blue. And in such a short space of time. Their ways were parting soon. A notice had come through the loud speakers, that the Wizarding Foreign Legion had arrived in Paris. They were boarding in half an hour.

This meant the Canadians and Australians regular military superiors, were going to be coming back on board any minute. Anyone with a sentient brain cell still functioning, (a minority on the troop train right now) suspected Colonel Howard and Healer Tanoak were going to have a hissy fit at the situation in the train at the moment.

Major O’Hara and Acting Matron Longfeather had done their best to keep everyone occupied. There had been bingo, organized sack races down the train’s corridors. Competition ice sculpture with wands. Druid Brown had conducted a formal goat sacrifice on the front carriage roof at five o’ clock. For those in need of spiritual comfort.

But the acting military superiors had run out of things for everyone to do from twelve o’clock onwards.

The corridors were now thick with the smoke of magic weed and cigarettes. Bottles and empty cans strewn throughout the corridors. Everyone still awake after drinking from the minute they had woken up virtually, was screwing, gambling, still drinking, or doing drugs.

Draco in the company of Australian wizarding officers was in the latter category. He had just snorted a line of the blue powder known as ‘whack’ off the table in front of him. A stronger more dangerous substance than fairy dust.

Malfoy looked around him. Everyone in the officers bar now had a halo and wings. They were all playing harmonicas. Flowers were coming out of their instruments.

“Pretty.” Draco smiled, slumping forward on the table.

2:50pm Song Playing: ‘Song 2’ by Blur (UK Band)

Draco walked wearily into his compartment with a headache. The shit had hit the fan alright, on Major Howard’s return. All the non officer ranks were confined to their sleeping compartments until sunrise. Sunrise was when they would arrive in Bulgaria.

The officers’ bar had shut, when it ran out of alcohol ten minutes ago. Draco had awoken lying on the floor, with an enchanted broom trying to literally sweep him under the table.

Draco found Hermione sitting up in bed alone. Dressed in her twee cat print pajamas, reading the rest of her Muggle book ‘Bridget Jones Diary’.

“Where’s your Aussie bed warmer?” Draco said wearily, kicking off his boots and lying on top of his bed.

“He was needed in a staff meeting with his Colonel. Don’t suppose I’ll see Blue again, ever.” Hermione tried to focus determinedly on her book. “I was waiting up for you. To drag yourself in here, before I turned out the lights.”

“So you’re not about to get all down in the dumps? About behaving like a common tart for the sodding past twenty four hours?” Draco checked, undoing his tie.

“No.” Hermione said firmly, waving her wand to turn off the lights. She giggled suddenly in the darkness. “Alcohol units consumed 23 v.good. Number of sexual partners 2. Illegal drugs partaken 5 ml, Acts of copulation indulged in 19, v.v.good.”

The End

You have reached the end of "Weekend Pass 24". This story is complete.

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking