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News from the Hellmouth

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Summary: Scoobies make for interesting reading around a campfire.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > General > General: SG-1ThundertbFR732,9803289,64720 Dec 0628 Jan 07Yes

Lethal Laryngitis

Main Character(s): Daniel Jackson

Timeline: Season 4 of Buffy up to Hush; Season 3 of Stargate between Foothold and Pretense

Summary: Daniel just wants to read his paper in peace.

Author’s Note: Not beta’d so any mistakes regarding characterization, grammar, spelling, etc. are mine and mine alone. I’d like to thank YademosEbyam for helping me with becoming more accurate regarding the timeline and her wonderful ideas regarding future stories.



He had no intention of buying it. He was out of coffee. Just run into the store on his way to work and get some coffee. That was it. Except…the headline just jumped out at him. It was like someone had taken over his body for the amount of time it took to buy it.

That’s it! Maybe he wasn’t him. Maybe he was one of those aliens that tried to take over the SGC last week and the holographic image transmitter or whatever it was, was overlaying his personality over the aliens…

God help him if Jack sees him reading it. He’d never live it down.



Damn it! Why did Teal’c bring that copy with him on the mission? It’s all his fault. He never realized how hard it would be to sneak something into the SGC until now. He felt conspicuous hiding the paper under his coat while he signed in and he just knew those airman where laughing at his attempt of subterfuge. Jack was so going to find out.

Finally! His office. Now let’s see. If he placed that stack of books there and those files there that should obscure the line of sight from the door. And, the photographs of the temple on P4X – 771 should be just big enough to cover the paper should anyone (Jack) stop by his office unexpectedly.

After one quick look to make sure no one (Jack) was standing in the doorway, he opened the paper and began to read.


Lethal Laryngitis

By Tucker Burns
Staff of The Chronicle

Once again, Sunnydale aka The Hellmouth, made national news with its outbreak of laryngitis. And, once again, a rational explanation such as a virus was given as the cause of the outbreak.



“Daniel Jackson….oh, hey Sam…what…hmm?...I suppose that…well, I haven’t…what? Sure. Give me a few minutes and I’ll meet you there.”


Finally, he was back in his office. He really should be working on that translation for SG-5. Curiosity won out and he opened the paper to continue reading.

The CDC declined to comment on what caused the instaneous outbreak of laryngitis or its apparent instaneous cure the next day. Nor did they comment on the deaths that may have been related to the outbreak.

“Doctor Jackson?”

“Hmmm…oh, hello Siler. Ummm…what can I do for you?”

“Just wondering if you wanted in next week’s pool.”

“Sure. I’ll take 15.”

“Sorry Doc, but that’s already been taken, but 20 is still up for grabs.”

“I’ll take that then. $20 right?”

“Yes sir.”

“Oh, and Siler…let’s just keep this between ourselves.”

“Confidentiality is guaranteed, Doc…about everything.”

“Thanks, Siler.”


According to the Sunnydale Police…

“DanielJackson…it is time to eat.”

Teal’c stood in the doorway hands clasped behind his back, his face expressionless. Daniel hastily hid the paper under the photos set aside for this purpose.

“Hey Teal’c. I’m sort of busy. I’ll get something later.”

Teal’c raised an eyebrow.

“O’Neill was quite adamant that you join us. He has requested that I ‘drag your ass kicking and screaming to the commisary, if necessary.’ I would not wish to do so, however, if necessary, I will.”

Daniel sighed.

“You’ve been spending way to much time with Jack.”



Daniel walked tiredly into his office and slumped down onto his stool. He laid his head down on his desk and closed his eyes absently noting a twinge of pain from his back. He should have known there had to be more than lunch on the agenda. He had completely forgotten about the weekly torture sessions euphemistically called self-defense training or as Jack liked to call them, “How to keep Daniel from dying again.”

After a minute, he raised his head and reached for the half-hidden paper.

According to Sunnydale police, five people died during the outbreak. “We believe that the killer took advantage of the laryngitis outbreak to commit these murders. The victims literally could not scream for help,” said Lieutenant Stien. The Lieutenant also went on to say that evidence is pointing to the killer being someone who was simply passing through. When asked if he could tell us what this evidence was, he replied, “No comment.”

According to a source in the town, all five of the victims had one thing in common. Each one appeared to have their hearts surgically removed.


Robert looked both irritated and excited, which was kind of disturbing.

“What can I do for you, Robert?”

He shoved a piece of paper at Daniel.

“This can’t be right, but we did the test three times and got the same results each time.”

Daniel took the paper from Robert.

Frowning, “Are you sure about this?”

“Three times, Daniel.”

Daniel and Robert left the office, the article lying forgotten on the desk.


Jack was closing his locker door as Daniel walked in the SG-1 locker room.



“You’re heading home early.”

“Yeah…well I have all these new bruises to soak in a nice hot tub,” Daniel responded sarcastically.

“Aw, c’mon., Daniel. Teal’c didn’t throw you that hard,” Jack said with a grin.

Ignoring the less than complimentary views on his possible parentage or lack thereof, Jack opened the locker room door and looked back Daniel.

“You know, it’s kind of strange.”

“What’s strange, Jack?”

“There was no mention of the Scoobies in the latest article in the Chronicle. Oops, hope I haven’t spoiled the ending for you.”

Jack grinned as he heard the thunk of Daniel’s head hitting his locker door.


Freshly showered, a glass of wine in his hand, Daniel settled back on his sofa and finished reading his paper.

“The only reason the police in this town are going through the motions of an investigation is because the ‘laryingitis’ outbreak made national news. In a couple of days, they’ll decide the case is unsolvable and like all the other unexplained deaths it’ll be swept under the rug and eventually forgotten.”

When asked if another victim were to be discovered, “There won’t be another death of this type.”

Who or what killed these people, still remains an unknown and as my source predicted, no new information was made regarding the investigation by the police. The citizens of Sunnydale have returned to their daily lives as if nothing had happened. But if you look closely, you can see the tension beneath the smiles. And, very rarely, will you see anyone walking down the street all by themselves after dark.

The End

You have reached the end of "News from the Hellmouth". This story is complete.

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