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Disclaimer: Despite all my plotting, I still own neither the Buffyverse or SPN characters. Joss and Kripke just haven't gotten around to booting me out of their sandboxes just yet. No infringement is intended and no profit is being made, yadda, yadda, yadda…
Rating: FR15 – for some language
Pairing: B/D, implied J/G
Spoilers: If you’ve seen all of Buffy, you’re good. Actually, if you’ve seen the first 3 seasons of Buffy, you’re still good.
Summary: Xander learns a hard lesson. Buffy and Dean are traumatized.
A/N: While trying to write more of joint fic, this just wouldn’t leave me alone. Poor Ky is in no way to blame for this, though she did do me the favor of beta’ing with a quickness and suggesting a key piece where needed. Thanks Ky! (Orig. posted at R66)
She watched him from across the library, her eyes unable to focus on much else while he was around. Shifting the thick, dusty book on the table in front of her, she kept her head down, trying for all the world to look like she was still reading instead of surreptitiously ogling her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend, who, from the looks of things, was about three quick seconds away from tossing the laptop in front of him out the window. Or braining Xander with it. Or, possibly braining Xander with it and then tossing both the computer and the carpenter right out the window.
As she continued covertly studying him, Dean shifted his glare away from Xander and back to the computer screen. His hazel eyes lightened for just a moment as a hopeful expression crossed his face but quickly went dark again as his lips set in a grim line. Looking worried, Xander leaned in and studied the screen for a moment as well before asking Dean a question that even she and her Slayer enhanced hearing couldn’t quite make out. Dean just stared balefully at the other man before shaking his head in frustration and bitterly slamming the lid of the laptop closed.
“I can’t fucking believe you did that,” Dean spat, pushing his chair back and standing up in one fluid moment to tower over Xander menacingly.
His face flushed, Xander stood up as well, “I already said I was sorry, man! Look, I promise: when Willow gets back, she can fix it.”
“No!” Running a hand through his short sandy hair, Dean tersely refused, “No way is she touching my laptop now.”
Dropping any pretense now that she’d been reading, Buffy stood up and made her way over to the two of them. Perching herself on the edge of the table beside Dean’s laptop, she smiled winningly at both of them, “What’s going on, guys?”
The denial had come at her in stereo and she narrowed her eyes at the two men who refused to make eye contact with her.
“And despite that convincing display, somehow I’m just not buying it. What gives?”
Three eyes and a patch studiously avoided her expectant gaze. Xander stared intently at his shoes, scuffing the toes against a smudge on the wooden floor and Dean focused his gaze on the scenery just outside the window as the muscle in his jaw clenched.
“Not planning to share?” She waited for a beat, giving them the opportunity to speak up before sliding the laptop around to face her and opening the lid, “Okay then, I’ll just have to see for myself.”
The images on the screen barely had a chance to register before Dean and Xander both rushed at her, slamming the screen down again and nearly taking off her fingers in the process.
She turned wide eyes up at them, clearly scandalized, and said the only thing she could, “Oh. My. God! Ewwwwwww!”
Running a hand over his face, Dean groaned and shot Xander a disgusted look, “See? This is why there’s no *way* I’m letting the witch at my laptop.”
“What? No! Oh no, no, no,” the Slayer chanted, shaking her head and trying to erase the images from her brain, “No one is seeing this again.” Picking up the laptop, she bent it in half and crushed all the little electrical bits she could see before tossing it to the floor and stomping on the remaining pieces. Once she was satisfied that the laptop was out of commission, she made her way slowly to the door, not sparing a glance at either of the men now gaping at the destroyed computer.
Shoving Xander by the shoulder, Dean shook his head again.
“Dude. You owe me a new computer. And don’t you ever, EVER download porn on my computer again, man. That shit was sick. Oh,” turning a smirk on the embarrassed younger man he continued gleefully, “And the next time you decide to eat the last doughnut, Cyclops? I’m totally telling Giles you get off to his naked ass.”
As he watched the taller man turn to follow his girlfriend, Xander tried to defend himself, “I already told you! I didn’t know it was porn! It was just supposed to be security footage from Sunnydale! I didn’t know it was Giles and Buffy’s mom! I swear to God!”
Coming to a dead stop, Dean spun back to face Xander, one eyebrow arching with surprise, “That was Buffy’s mother?”
Unable to speak, Xander just nodded his head miserably and sat back down at the table.
As he heard the door slam shut behind the Slayer’s boyfriend, he made a solemn promise to himself, “I’m never accepting a file transfer from anyone with the username ‘RayneOfTerror’ ever again.”