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Summary: Buffy Summers has always known who she is, but when she starts remembering another life as a wife and mother everything she knows about herself comes into question. Is she Mary Winchester or Buffy Summers and can a balance be found between both?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: John WinchesterChosenfireFR1834,4066367,35426 Dec 0627 Jan 07No

Holding On

Above artwork by KaylaShay as part of the Supernaturally Twisted collection.

Title: Tangled
Author: Chosenfire
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN
Spoilers: BtVS post season 7, SPN season 1 “Home”+
Pairing(s): Buffy/John
Summary: Buffy Summers has always known who she is, but when she starts remembering another life as a wife and mother everything she knows about herself comes into question. Is she Mary Winchester or Buffy Summers and can a balance be found between both?

AN: I want to once again thank the reviewers, you guys are amazing and you’re really my inspiration for this story. There will of course be more flashbacks not only in this chapter but the ones to come. I am getting impatient and want to jump right into the story so let me know if I’m moving too fast. This chapter will pick up with the SPN episode of Home where we all know Mary Winchester made an appearance. With this I am bringing in John and the boys so I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think. Also it will be switching back between Faith, Willow, and Dawn and Buffy and her journey down memory lane.

AN2: Next chapter Buffy wakes up, John and Missouri have an interesting conversation about reincarnation, and Dean meets someone he used to know (SPN episode Scarecrow)

Chapter 3 Holding On

“Red.” Faith yelled her voice filled with panic as she rushed into the house her arms clutching her fallen sister tightly blond hair tinged with red body still and lifeless. Silent tears streamed down her face and a streak of crimson stained her cheek, the blood wasn’t hers. Pain ripped through her body as she looked down at the unmoving figure bile rising in her throat. “Dammit somebody.” She screamed sobs racking her body.

She looked up her eyes looking with Dawn’s. The youngest Summers blue eyes were wide as she looked at the scene before her and the glass she had been holding feel from numb figures. “Buffy.” She whispered hoarsely reverting to a child wanting her big sister.

Willow rushed in behind her rushing to Faith’s side and turning to Kennedy who although beaten was still walking on her own strength “Get me my supplies.” The younger Slayer nodded and silently slipped away hurrying.

Willow kneeled close to Buffy not bothering to try to get Buffy away from Faith. Her hands moved to Buffy’s temples her eyes looking on the pale face of her best friend. Her lips thinned into a tight line as she concentrated her mind reaching out.

She gasped unable to form a connection and turned to Faith trying to remain calm but failing as worry filled her “We need to get her to her bed.”

“Shhhh its okay Sammy.” Mary crooned softly to her youngest son holding his small body in her arms his face pressed against her shoulder as his tears soaked her shirt. She didn’t mind though, having grown used to the constant mess over the past four years. One more fussy baby boy didn’t phase her.

“Mommy,” A small voice said softly and Mary looked down to see her oldest son Dean, who was a very grown up four years old. “Can I help?” he asked solemnly. He took his role as big brother very seriously.

“Why yes you can.” She grinned and Dean hopped up into the big chair of his daddy’s. Mary gently placed Sam in Dean’s small arms showing him how to cradle the baby and Dean followed her instructions avidly determined to get it right.

“Well look at that.” Mary said softly stepping back her face glowing with pride. Sam had instantly quieted gurgling happily in his big brother’s arms looking content and Dean looked down at him in wonder.

Mary reached for the camera on the table and Dean looked up as she snapped a quick photo. Dean grinned as she put the photo down his eyes lighting up and Mary spun around her face brightening as she saw John leaning against the doorframe a smile lighting his eyes.

Willow slipped outside of the room her face pale a thin sheen of sweat covering her skin as exhaustion radiated off her. Her eyes were dull and dark circles played under them.

“How is she?” Dawn asked softly sounding so lost and afraid.

Willow turned to her unable to draw up any hope “I don’t know, her body is healing but her mind…” she fumbled for words tears appearing in her eyes “I can’t reach her Dawnie, I’ve tried but everytime I get close she slips away. She really needs to wake up.”

“What happens if she doesn’t?” Dawn’s voice was soft her eyes haunted by the possibility.

Willow smiled grimly “She will.” Her voice lacked conviction “She has to right?” They all would be lost without Buffy. Willow knew that if it came down to it she would break the promise she had made to the Slayer after the Hellmouth had been closed. She would go to any length to keep Buffy alive.

The light flickered and Mary frowned suddenly feeling uneasy. Her bare feet slipped over the wooden floor as she approached it taping the light a couple of times before it stopped flickering shining steadily. Something caught her eye and she sighed, John had forgot to shut off the T.V again.

Sometimes at night he was unsettled he past creeping onto him and he would often stay up late flipping through channels the glow of the television lulling him to sleep.

She would often wake up to find him passed out on the couch and even occasionally she would find Dean curled up next to him having sneaked out of bed in the middle of the night.

He was definitely not afraid of the dark.

She peered down the stairs and a cold fear gripped her as she saw a pair of familiar socked feet sticking out from the couch.

“Sammy.” She yelled rushing to the nursery fear fearing her as she saw the dark figure leaning over the crib. Her mouth opened up in a silent scream as her body was pinned to the wall by an invisible force and a burning agony filled her as a long slash appeared across her abdomen and she was dragged up the wall phantom flames already licking her body.

She could hear Sam’s shrill cries and her soul echoed them tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes.

This wasn’t how it was suppose to end.

“Faith.” Willow yelled as she was thrown back into the wall. The Slayer moved forward shiftily her hands shooting out to hold down the thrashing body on the bed her supernaturally strengthened muscles straining beads of perspiration popping up on her forehead.

“What’s happening?” Dawn demanded turning to Willow a wet towel held tightly in her hand. The room shook around them and her eyes flew around wildly.

“I don’t know.” Willow shook her head at a lost her eyes riveted on Buffy who suddenly stopped thrashing settling back into a deep sleep.

Faith loosened her hold backing away wincing when she saw Buffy’s arms knowing her little loving restraining would leave dark bruises that would take a while for even a Slayer to heal. She turned to Willow and moved aside as the witch approached the Slayer.

A couple of minutes passed in silence than Willow drew away her eyes wide in fear.

“What is it Red?” Faith asked Dawn coming to stand beside her and despite the fact that the darker Slayer was not a touchy feely type her arm went around B’s little sister knowing her blond counterpart wouldn’t want anything to happen to her and that included emotional damage.

Willow looked at them “I can’t feel Buffy anymore?”

She had always felt like there was a missing piece. Growing up she had often got that nagging sensation that something wasn’t right, that she had forgot something and she had shrugged it off. But now as she moved through a picturesque house in Lawrence, Kansas, unseen and unheard, Buffy knew that things were finally falling into place.

She remembered everything.

Her life as Buffy Summers, valley girl, Slayer, big sister and her life as Mary Winchester, wife, mother, and all around good girl.

It was strange having two sets of memories but it was also soothing. She now knew why she had always loved the name Joan, as Mary her grandmother’s name had been Joan. She was Mary Winchester, but she wasn’t, not really. There was a reason it was a past life.

Still as she looked around the house she knew she was lying to herself, and as she saw the two young men enter the house she knew that she couldn’t separate herself from the woman she had been.

She was a mother, that she knew. The same fierce love rose up in her as she looked at them as when she looked at Dawn. She knew they were a part of her that they were hers and as the day wore on she fought the evil that had invaded her house knowing that she had to protect them.

And when the moment came she was ready, and she loved it and she hated it.

Dean and Sam…her boys.

And she was sorry because her goodbye was a lie, knowing what she did now how could she ever walk away. Besides they were hunting a demon and one thing Buffy knew was how to slay.

A smile touched her lips as she burned away the thread that had been tying the last piece of her soul to that place and she knew she would see them again, soon.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Tangled" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 27 Jan 07.

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