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Summary: Buffy Summers has always known who she is, but when she starts remembering another life as a wife and mother everything she knows about herself comes into question. Is she Mary Winchester or Buffy Summers and can a balance be found between both?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Supernatural > Buffy-Centered > Pairing: John WinchesterChosenfireFR1834,4066367,35426 Dec 0627 Jan 07No

Chapter One

Above artwork by KaylaShay as part of the Supernaturally Twisted collection.

Title: Tangled
Author: Chosenfire
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN
Spoilers: BtVS post season 7, SPN season 1
Pairing(s): Buffy/John
Summary: Buffy Summers has always known who she is, but when she starts remembering another life as a wife and mother everything she knows about herself comes into question. Is she Mary Winchester or Buffy Summers and can a balance be found between both?

AN: Okay so this story is a long time coming and I was first inspired to write it by a lovely little fic by Ava called Just Not Today That I urge all of you to read. I want to thank everyone over at Route66 who has encouraged me to write this and helped me work through the idea. While I appreciate all these people this story wouldn’t be possible without the amazing Kayla Shay’s intervention, or as I like to call her Mistress Kayla. She made me an amazing picture that encourages me like nothing else could to get moving on this.

AN2: I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and here is a belated present for everyone. I hope you enjoy and reviews are most welcome, remember though this is only the beginning.

Chapter 1 Holiday Memories

Buffy Summers bit her bottom lip as she hung the tinsel on the tree stretching up so she could reach the other side cursing Xander for getting such a large tree. It discriminated against short people, and she was a short person.

“Stupid Xander.” Buffy muttered as once again she fell short and she grimaced at the bad pun She finally gave up trying to reach the branch and just tossed it in the air watching as it settled precariously on the tree. She studied it for a second then nodded satisfied.

“Isn’t it suppose to go at the top?” Dawn asked her coming into the front room of the renovated old Victorian manor that the Council had purchased. Buffy glared at her and Dawn grinned “Sorry, it’s just your taking this holiday really serious.”

And it was true. Buffy seemed hell bent on the whole Christmas thing having organized a Secret Santa thing for the whole house, which without the mini Slayers who had headed home for the holidays consisted of herself, Dawn, Xander, Willow, Kennedy, Faith, Robin, Andrew, and Giles.

She had had Xander go get the tree and lights were hung outside the house and she had even had no trouble talking Faith into hanging mistletoe around the house. Her darker counterpart thought mistletoe was the only point to the whole holiday in the first place.

Buffy sighed looking down at her hands nervously “It’s just we’ve never really had a Christmas, the world is always ending or someone is always dying and I thought it would be nice if we, well, celebrated together like normal people.”

Dawn smiled “It’s nice Buffy, it really is.” the Slayer saw the sincerity in her sister’s eyes and she let out a relieved smile “Yeah, it is.”

She looked down at the depleted roll of tinsel in her hand “I’m just going to put this up.” She said softly and slipped out of the front room and into the surprisingly empty kitchen. It was a surprise that it was empty because they were throwing a large Christmas party that night and it looked like the caterers had set up the food and disappeared.

Seeing something on one of the plate’s move Buffy felt nauseous, not only were they having some people over like a couple of Witch’s covens, a handful of active Slayers, and a group of Watcher’s, but they also expected delegates from several peaceful demon families and Clem and a few of their demonic friends they had meet as they saved the world.

Buffy tossed the tinsel in one of the drawers and looked down at the silk black dress she wore wondering if she had time to change. She had already changed twice that night and she could swear there were butterflies ravaging her stomach.

That’s when it hit her, a sudden flash and static feeling her ears, the check image of a smaller and more homey Christmas tree wavered before Buffy was once again looking at the gleaming white of the counters.

The flash got brighter and the image settled into place the static giving way to a soft humming noise as Buffy watched an older man hum under his breath as he placed a dark blue wrapped package under their tree.

The carpet was soft under her bare feet and she curled her toes into it wrapping her arms around her shoulders and wishing she had grabbed a blanket or robe.

“You know John,” she laughed her voice coming out husky and filled with happiness “I think I have more gifts then you know.”

He turned to her his eyes filled with the same laughter and happiness she felt in her soul “Your forgetting one thing Mary.” He rose and her eyes drifted over his wonderfully fit physique that years as a Marine had molded. He came to stand before her “The little number you have in the closet.” His arms wrapped around her and she buried her head in his chest breathing in his rich and earthy scent.

“Yeah.” You pressed a kiss to his neck “But that’s more for the both of us.” Her hands slid over his chest moving up to wrap around his neck.

Suddenly his lips were on hers rough but tender as he devoured her mouth and started nibbling at the corner.

When he pulled away she was breathless her body weak with need “What was that for?”

A mischievous grin appeared on his face his dimples showing like those of a little boy “Mistletoe.” She followed his gaze up to the innocent looking spruce over their heads and Mary grinned because she knew that that wasn’t the only place mistletoe hanged. Knowing her husband there was probably more then one of those green fiends in every room.

She just shook her head and buried her head in his chest looking at the blinking lights on their tree letting herself be washed away in the moment.

All of a sudden without warning the scene faded away and Buffy was once again in the kitchen her hand tightly gripping the counter and she looked down to see that, as she loosened it, she had left a small dent. She drew in a shaky breath and shakily touched a hand to her head “What in the hell was that?”

“Buffy,” Dawn came into the room asking, “are you ready yet the guest will be arriving soon.”

Buffy had her back to Dawn and tried to make her voice sound steady when the rest of her was far from it “Yeah, I just need to change real quick.” She rushed past Dawn and to the sanctuary of her room where she stood before the full-length mirror.

All she saw was her own pale face and haunted green eyes staring back at her.

Buffy took a deep breath and that’s when she felt it, this one came quicker and the static was louder before the image settled in front of her. It was a different house, a different year, but the lights blinking from outside told her it was the same holiday.

“Dammit Mary I’m trying here.” John ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair and she just watched him tears appearing in her eyes.

“You’re never home John.” The words came out a broken sob and she wrapped her arms around her swollen abdomen cursing the erratic hormones that came with being pregnant. “I need you and you’re never here.” Her voice got louder as she faced him.

She had once been proud of her husband, the Marine, but all now she desperately wanted was for him to be with her. She knew it was selfish but she was so scared, and she was alone since they had moved to Kansas to get away from her controlling family who had never approved of John.

They had tried to put up with it, her father’s backhanded comments and her mother’s clear disgust but when they had found out she was pregnant they had decided they didn’t want to start their family surrounded by so much hate. So they had moved to the quiet town of Lawrence, Kansas and had tried to settle into a new life.

What was wrong with her wanting John to be a part of that life, instead of disappearing for weeks on end on duty?

Tears trailed hotly down her face and she felt John’s arms wrap around her as she sobbed “God I’m sorry Mary.” He whispered in her ear and she nodded pressing herself closer to him.

“I just need you.” She told him softly and it was true. As long as he was with her they could do this, she could do this. She hated being so weak but this was something she didn’t want to do alone. She didn’t want to have to be strong again.

“I’ll be here.” John told her firmly and Mary believed him because John never said something he didn’t mean.

Once again Buffy found herself pulled out of the scene and found herself standing in front of her mirror and she gasped as she sank to the ground.

She needed to talk to Giles, he would figure out what was happening to her.
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