The doctor is ... House
Disclaimer: I do not own House, or Buffy. But I'd like to borrow the characters for a bit of fun.
Clinic -- Exam Room 1
“Go away.” The voice was firm. The Foreman poked his head into exam room one and saw the head of diagnostic medicine lift the magazine off his face to peer at him.
“But...” Foreman protested.
“I'm busy.” The magazine dropped back down.
“The patient is refusing to let me examine her.”
“And I care, why?”
“She's sick?” It was phrased as a question. Foreman stepped into the room.
“So? This is a hospital, there are lots of sick people.” The magazine still covered House's face. “I'm one of them. Send her home.”
“She has a nice ass.” Foreman wheedled.
“So discharge her. Then ask her out on a date.” House snorted under his magazine. “You can examine her cute ass more closely.”
“Her boyfriend's damn scary.”
“So don't.” House hesitated. “Or do. Maybe he likes threesomes.” House lifted the magazine up and looked at Foreman in irritation. “What kind of tits does she have?”
“Boobies. Jugs. Mammaries. Ta-tas. Titties.” House sat up holding his hands over his chest to indicate breasts. “You know, breasts.”
“I'm an ass man.” Foreman rolled his eyes. He started to shut the door.
“You said it, not me.” House looked at his colleague pointedly. “You can handle it.”
“She said she'd rip off my arm and beat me to death with it if I touched her.”
House groaned. “So get a psych consult.”
“Fine.” Foreman closed the door, then opened it back and sticking his head in. “Twenty-eight B, and perky.”
Greg House adjusted his fingers slightly until he had the proper size. Then shrugged to himself. “Nah.” He popped another Vicodin and lay back down, putting the magazine back over his face.