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Ra Ra Ra for Sunnydale High!

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Summary: A twenty minute 'pseudo-narrative' YAHF that wouldn't go away. Sorry.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Pairing: OthertohonomikeFR711,7036367,2471 Jan 071 Jan 07Yes
Title: Ra Ra Ra for Sunnydale High
Author: tohonomike
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners...the Joss/ME characters, and the Stargate characters are clearly not mine, but belong to MGM, Gekko and Glassner-Wright. No money is involved.

Summary: A very improbable YAHF BTVS-Stargate fic done in about twenty minutes.

May 1998

To say that Stargate Command, the Pentagon, and the President were concerned would have been an understatement. Ever since the reopening of the Stargate, those in the know had sought to find ways of defending the Earth from Goa’uld incursion, and to obtain the knowledge and technology to give the US an economic edge vis-a-vis the rest of humanity. And to say that the rest of the Tauri population, previously clueless as to the *fact* of unpleasant militant Goa’uld existence, were holding their collective breadth to see what would next happen.

Sunnydale, California would normally have been considered at best a rest stop on the way to better and more exciting places, but today it would find itself as the contact point in a new and not always comfortable era of Earth’s reentry to the universe at large. For the last six and a half months, a group of teenagers and their two high school mentors—a librarian and a computer teacher—had been doing their best to keep vampires and other nasty beings from destroying the world. One of those beings was Angelus, and with two of his ‘Scourge of Europe’ gang defeated in bringing ‘The Judge’ to successful restoration, had turned toward bringing back their fourth member from beyond. Darla was back, and the Aurelian Vampires were determined to seize the Acathla Statue from the Sunnydale High School Library, and bring about Hell on Earth—for real.

High in orbit, above the United States, the elite team known as SG-1, had gone rogue in order to act on Dr. Daniel Jackson’s assertions that the Goa’uld System Lord Apophis was on his way with two Mother Ships with which to destroy or take over the Earth. And the people of Earth couldn’t help but notice the two large vessels, as they were now suddenly surrounded by nearly two hundred more, one of which dwarfed ten of the others.

Two American-launched nuclear missiles approaching the orbital point were negligently swept aside by the large vessel.

Apophis remained quiet as he responded to the hail and froze in amazement at the Court of Ra. He’d believed such would be impossible to reassemble with their Creator gone, but arrayed at the feet, sitting on the dais steps of the golden-head-pieced figure on the throne--Cronos, Hathor, Yu, Nirrti, Heru’ur, with Zipacna, Baal and Camalus below them. Their First Primes stood guard not of them, but in attendance of the figure on the Throne of the Goa’uld—Ra!

“How can this be?” Apophis faltered aloud. “The Tauri murdered you nearly three years ago.”

“I am Ra; I am your Master. You see me before you. You see the Hegemony before me,” the figure deeply intoned. The Uplifter of the Goa’uld stood and his queen, Hathor, reached up and revealed a different-looking Host of Ra. “I am Ra, Apophis. I am beyond your ability to Know. Submit and Resume your fief.”

The false god already sensed that every Jaffa with him had already prostrated themselves on the deck of the ship; the parasite prized its existence, and knelt fully to its Lord.

“I comply, O' Ra. I obey and heed your commands…Master of the Goa’uld.”

The sun set over the horizon in Sunnydale; Angelus loathed waiting, and having enjoyed the day with Darla, was ready for the final showdown with the Slayer and her flunkies. He turned to the gathered Aurelians, maybe twenty in all.

“Time for Hell. Billy, run ahead with the lads and soften up the Slayers and we’ll have a stroll. I’m curious if you can manage to double your Slayer body count.”

William the Bloody knew he was being set up, but didn’t really care; he’d been feeding well this last couple days, and with Drusilla’s ritual magic was ready for a dance of beautiful death. Waving at the minions to follow, most of whom were the front lines of the local high school football teams, Spike was racing to test whether climbing pitons were as good as railroad spikes.

Bra’tac entered the room, leaving SG-1 in the hall in hopes of ensuring surprise against the System Lord. But he wasn’t prepared to find Jaffa in the livery of Ra removing the Goa’uld from the host.

“What is this?” Bra’tac asked, aghast in surprise. “Are the rumors of Ra’s return true?”

“Ra is indeed among us, and Apophis has resubmitted,” the Horus Prime responded and pointed out the view screen. Bra’tac noted the forty or so mother ships and held his breath as the Prime continued. “You are Bra’tac, First Prime of Apophis.”

“I am,” he responded as SG-1 hurried into the room, not expecting to be greeted by zats pointing at them. There was a moment of stand off. “These are Teal’c and SG-1 of the Tauri.”

The Horus Prime bowed slightly to the group, somewhat begrudgingly.

“My Master Ra has expressed a desire to meet with Ess-Gee-One…Master Bra’tac, you are in rebellion against Lord Apophis and in league with the Tauri.”

“I cannot deny that statement. Apophis…refused to recognize that the Tauri were a matter for Ra, and the Tauri were a usual alliance of convenience to prevent the wrath of Ra from befalling the Jaffa of the Serpent.”

“No matter. Our Master Ra does not intend to destroy the Tauri, and has already begun occupying these vessels. You will all lower your weapons and accompany us back to the Throne Ship.”

Colonel Jack O’Neill paused and as he lowered his weapon, nodded at the unconscious Skaara being carried away.

“What about Skaara?”

“Our Master Ra has learned of your desire to have the boy returned to you; we have been ordered to see to it.”

“Why would Your Master Ra care?”

“I do not question good fortune, Tauri. My Master Ra has expressed that it is a show of beneficence, a—to use the Tauri phrase—a gesture of good will.”

Daniel couldn’t hold in his curiosity any more, “What about Shau’ri? My wife?”

“You with the odd face jewelry, are Dan’yel the Jack-soon of Abydos?” The archaeologist nodded. “That matter is also being resolved. Come. Our Master Ra should not be kept waiting.”


“General? The Goa’uld Armada has shifted over the Southern California coast, sir.”

“Why would they do that? They should be able to scan that the Stargate is here.”

Throne Ship of Ra

The scanners of the vessel had indicated the presence of the undead moving at the High School; the unclean things were in the main building and heading for the library before the vast vessel began lowering over the central part of the town. Four other vessels shifted into position over the Armory, City Hall, the Airport and Angel’s former apartment. A thousand Death Gliders circled the airspace, making it clear to any that cared that aggression would be futile; they did not themselves fire. Strange humming and swooshing, bright lights flashing, occurred in the areas over which the vessels hovered. Within three minutes nearly three hundred Jaffa with infrared and night-appropriate eyepieces began patrolling the city, but seemed to leave the human population alone in favor of a few individuals that just didn’t show up as having temperature above the ambient.

Inside the Sunnydale High School Library, the reduced ‘Scooby Gang’ of Buffy, Kendra, Jenny, Giles, Joyce and Oz formed a tight circle around their fallen comrades—Nancy and Larry, Willow and Amy. Angelus smirked and taunted as he ordered his minions to once again charge forward.

A strange hum and swoosh sound broke the moment, Slayer instincts causing the two young warriors to push back the others into a tighter formation. Large metal rings smashed into dust seven unlucky vampires lunging in. The form of Acathla, tuned to stone centuries past, could not withstand the crushing mass of the rings, and shattered into dust, a magnificent sword restoring itself as its entrapment of evil ended. The Scooby Gang disappeared, replaced by four kneeling armored warriors with strange serpentine weapons in both hands, another three standing similarly.

Drusilla swayed and began weeping, “The Sun God beams his death upon us, his little Snakies ending … ‘The Age of Aurelius.’”

Her companions sighed as one at the characteristic prophetic nonsense, but beams of blue lightning slapped into their minions. The Scourge of Europe turned to flee, all except Drusilla, who fell to her knees singing her own version of a Fifth Dimension song to her dolly. No vampires survived beyond the next few seconds.

Aboard the Throne Ship of Ra, in the Throne Room itself, a freaked and briefly immobile Scooby Gang found itself surrounded by armored humans –most with the heads of animals from what they could tell. Staves with large powered ends were pointed in their direction until a tall being with the Headdress of Ra collapsing from its protective mode, but turned slightly away from them for a moment it did not reveal a face not seen for seven months by the new arrivals. One of the armored beings stepped close and simply retrieved the Sword and handed it to the man, who waved his guards to retract their weapons and leave the room.

The group of vampire hunters noted the small group in fatigues that remained next to the being clearly in charge. They looked like US military of some type.

“Well, Buff, I should have known my favorite Slayer would bring a sword as a house-warming present,” Xander Harris replied with only a slight smile instead of his trademark grin. “Really, chocolates or Twinkies would’ve been better after all this time.”

The group had only one response in meeting in such circumstances one who’d dressed as an Egyptian last Halloween and after much deep-voiced damage had disappeared without further trace with an older redheaded woman on his arm.



Sorry, all, that this seems like the narrative story outline that it is, but it has been refusing to let me be for several hours, now that my notebook computer is at least temporarily back from the dead. I hope you enjoy what little there was.

Happy New Year!

The End

You have reached the end of "Ra Ra Ra for Sunnydale High!". This story is complete.

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