Who watches the watchers?
Willow had her hands to her head, trying, beyond anything, not to laugh at the expression on Buffy's face. It was really rather ironic, given that Buffy was disdainful of Xander when she first encountered him. Then again, who would believe that the 'Zeppo' of the group was the most powerful member.
“It's not like that! Didn't you hear what I said? Xander. Is. Old! Dracula said that!” Buffy exclaimed while throwing up her arms.
Anya rolled her eyes. “I heard, but I think you're forgetting something. Something very important. Something I don't think that you've considered.”
Buffy looked confused. A look that Anya was beginning to think belonged permanently on her face. “What did I forget? It couldn't be that important.”
Willow blinked at what Anya said and then groaned. “Buffy, how old is Anya?”
“Anya? She's...” Buffy trailed off as she got the hint.
“Buffy,” Anya said gently, although she looked slightly annoyed, “I'm older than Vlad, and I was very young when I dated him. Immortals are well known for who and what they are. Now, I'm not saying that an Immortal can't die, they just can't die by normal means. Take Mr. Black. He's extremely well known. Don't you think that people would think to note who his family member are?”
Willow frowned, “But what if he wasn't known by that name?”
Now Anya laughed, “Do you really think that? Immortals are known by their names, or variations of their names in the local languages, no matter how much time has passed. Humans have a saying, your reputation is important. For Deities, Immortals, demons, and vampires, the name is even more important. Wars that could devastate the planet have been held when an idiot impersonates one of them. Do you actually think that the name Xander Harris would not be known to D'Hoffryn or the others if he was so long lived?”
“But...Xander IS old. He has to be immortal.” Buffy said, trying to win the argument by being obstinate.
Anya leaned back into her seat and took a small sip of her drink. “Ok, I will admit there is no way that I could have heard of every immortal that has ever lived. The group I was with concentrated on those beings with whom we were most likely to encounter. For instance, Mr. Black has been called different things, but it always translated to black. Even then, he doesn't interfere unless something is really wrong. Until recently, when he reappeared, it was believed that he had, well, retired for want of a better word.”
“So he's never shown up on anybody's radar then.” Willow said.
“Oh, I wouldn't day that.” Anya smirked at the young witch. “Xander made quite a name for himself by the time I first encountered him.”
Now this was news Buffy was interested in. “In what way?”
“The first thing that you need to know is that prophecies are always accurate. Always. They may not do what is expected of them, but they will always come true, provided the one who has stated the prophecy can speak coherently,” Anya began, “Xander, however, is known as the Prophecy Breaker.”
This was something Buffy could comment on, “You mean because he brought me back to life? I still died, so the prophecy was fulfilled.”
Anya sighed, “That's part of it. Did you know that Kendra was supposed to die as well? As in permanently? Xander succeeded in doing something thought impossible. Splitting the supposed 'Slayer Spirit”. It's supposed to be only one girl affected at a time, not three girls. This really upset a lot of people.”
Buffy snorted, “If you mean Travers, I think that he's always sucking on a sour lemon.”
Willow frowned, “I think she means the Powers That Be, Buffy.”
Anya smiled, “Exactly. And they weren't the only ones. For the first time in history, a prophecy had been broken. Destroyed completely. Since then a lot of prophecies have been broken. As an example, instead of Harry Potter fighting Voldemort, Mr. Black walked in and killed him personally. Since Xander broke the prophecy about you, everyone has been walking on eggshells. If Xander was older than imagined, don’t you think that they would come to have a talk with him? And believe me, such a talk would be almost unimaginable.”
“Besides, do you think those idiots would let Xander do what he wanted? The Powers would try to destroy him or would have done something to start a war with him. So My Xander Is Not Some Super Immortal!” Anya concluded.
Buffy was looking for anything to combat this logic, something that shouldn't exist as it went against what she said, and came up with something. “What about the time he scared the shit out of Travers?”
Xander was incensed. And for a good reason. Anya had just come home with information on the council of idiots that had invaded the Magic Box.
That, and the knock on the door of the idiot of the week was really annoying.
“Get out of my way.” Xander snarled at the minion in front of him.
“I'm sorry Mr. Harris, but I am here to interview you with regards to Slayer Summers.” Said the British nobody.
Xander laughed for a few minutes while the member of the Watchers council came in and closed the door behind him. As soon as the idiot did that, Xander grabbed him around the throat. “What, pray tell, would the fools who abandoned a woman who fights the good fight want to know? How much they screwed up? Maybe want her under their power again?”
The British agent of the Watchers Council was unprepared for this, and was attempting to loosen Xander's grip in order to get some more air. “W-We just want to know what she has been doing.”
Xanders face hardened as he looked at the fool before him. “She's been suffering. Something members of the council know nothing about. Where were you with a salary? How about danger pay? No, you idiots keep the money to yourself, and force a young girl to fight to the death. We support her, and I think it's time I talk to your boss.”
“Mr. Harris,” the man gasped desperately, “You do not want to do this. We can have you thrown into jail at any time.”
Xander grinned maniacally, “Let's test that, shall we?”
Twenty minutes later, Xander was in front of Travers. The man was looking down at him. “What do you want? You have no say in what we do.”
Xander growled, “I'm quite certain I do. Now shut the hell up, and listen to me before I make sure that you're put into prison permanently.”
Travers snorted. As if this nobody could challenge the council, much less him. “Boy, you don't know what you're talking about.”
Nigel, one of Quentin Travers lackeys, stated, “We won't stand for this disrespect. Such insolence deserves to be punished, especially as the Slayer is our tool, not yours.”
This caused Giles to go Ripper. “She is NOT your tool. She is my daughter, and how dare you suggest that she is just to be thrown away. The insolence and disrespect is on your end, you bloody wanker!”
Travers frowned. Rupert would just have to learn his place. “Another outburst like that, and I will ensure that not only is this store closed down, but that you are deported back to England.”
“That will not happen.”
The assembled watchers turned towards the hard-headed boy. This was unheard of. Some nobody without experience arguing against the council.
“You, boy, will go to jail if I hear another word from you.” Nigel said before Travers could.
Xander smirked and pulled out a lighter. When he lit it, it had a blue flame, “Henchgirl, are you there?”
A couple of the watchers sucked in breaths when they heard this. That was not a name to speak lightly. They relaxed a bit after thirty seconds, and both Travers and Nigel were ignorant of the significance of the name, so they maintained their smug expressions.
A voice then answered. “Henchgirl here. Is that you Xander?”
“Yes. I seem to have a problem here. Travers and his idiots from the Watchers Council have come here to threaten people. Is there something you can do?” Xander said with a smile on his face.
“Oh, I can do more than that.” Henchgirls voice came back.
Another voice broke in. “What has he done?”
“Ahhh...He's just made some threats. Do you think you can inform Her Majesty of this?”
The new voice laughingly stated, “I think the Prime Minister would like to have a word. Let me talk to him.”
After Xander closed the lighter, Travers snorted. “A recording. Or a radio. Is that supposed to scare us?”
The more dedicated members of the Senior Council blanched at Travers absolute unfamiliarity with the device. It had become as common as the Cell Phone for Wizards. The boy was not as powerless as he seemed.
“That, Travers, is the end of the council, if I so choose. Play nice and my friends would see you in jail.” Xander snarled back at the pompous idiot.”
“Child, you don't know who're you're challenging.” Said Travers. As he was about to say something more, his phone rang. “Yes? Who? Mr. Prime... But... I'm what?”
Travers face went white as he listened to the conversation. He and the members of the council had lost everything. All assets had been frozen, the council's holding were being raided this very minute, and he and other members of the council had been immediately tossed out of their homes and all of their personal funds were lost.
The Prime Minister, who had been on the phone, said that he and the others were to be considered under arrest for treason.
After the call, he turned to Xander, “What do you want?”
“You in jail for kidnapping.” was Xander's immediate reply. “However, I will ask for leniency if you do the following. From now one, you will work with the Slayers. They are under my protection, and any stupidity will make me angry. My friends prefer me not to be angry. Would you like me angry?”
Travers face became even whiter. “We'll listen and do what you say.”
“I didn't even know about this until Giles told me a few days later.” Buffy stated.
Anya rolled her eyes. “He called Henchgirl, who, as you stated, is a friend. The people Mr. Black hangs around with do not fool around. Do you think a call from a friend would produce anything else?”
Buffy just stammered. There had to be some way to make Anya see what she was talking about!
Willow sighed. It seemed it was her turn to convince Anya.