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Legacy of Kain: Coffee Omen

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Summary: Part of a series. Crossover with Legacy of Kain: Blood Omen. Kain, a cup of Coffee, Cordelia, and some laundry. Not very funny. But give it a try, you might find it intresting

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Games > Horror > Legacy of KainTrexsueFR1511,3991165421 Jan 0721 Jan 07Yes
I don't own Legacy of Kain or Angel. I think LOK is owned by Eidos, I long ago forgot who Angel is owned by.

Kain knew about Christmas of course. Nosgoth's entire year revolved around it (that and constant bloodshed and violence). Getting ready for it, and after it passed enjoying the many gifts that were given. He however, had never really paid much mind to it before. It seemed like a silly holiday, celebrated by vain, arogant fools who only cared about getting pretty trinkets and nice cloths.

When Kain had gotten married he had vowed never to allow such a foolish custom in his home. He would teach his children that the birth of Christ was a holy thing, and that one must spend his time in silence to remember their lord and savior. Many of his friends and family were somewhat shocked by that. After all what parent would rob their child of the joy of Christmas? Kain. Kain was fairly sure of his own knowledge of child rearing (although, he had spent less time with children than he did pondering the comandment "Thou Shalt not Kill")

When he had been turned into a vampire, and thus rendered sterile, his view of himself as a effective parent was blown right to hell. Indeed, the joy of the giggling, cherub cheeked gnome creatures called children was at the very back of his mind when he was melting people into puddle of toxic goo. Or, if he felt like it causeing them to implode....or explode....or ripping their soul's right out of their bodies. And was not even present as he watched to rather amusing display of raw stupidity in front of him.

Cordelia was indeed a beautiful woman. She was also vain, shallow, rather slow, and prone to being impregnated/infested with all sorts of magical babies/larva/demon-spawn. All of which (save for the last part) were qualities he found to be attractive in a woman. Which was because of the fact all of those qualities (Again, save for the last one) made them easy to manipulate. However, no matter how much he tried, he could not get her to his bed. Of course he was positive if he really tried, he could probably have her, indeed he was thinking about opening his schedule next week for some "Friendly bonding" . But what could melt the heart of most women didn't work on Cordelia

He was casual as possible as he entered the lobby of the Hyperion.

"I'd ask for coffee, but I have the sickening feeling Cordelia made it." Kain said.

"You're right." Angel said takeing a sip out of his mug and screwing his face into a disgusted grimace. "And she mixed sugar in with blood to."

"Damn it." Kain snarled. He poured himself a cup of Coffee anyway, because made by Cordelia or not, it was still Coffee. "Is that what I think it is?" He snapped, gesturing to the horrid thing in the center of the room.

"Uh huh. I told her I didn't want one in the lobby, I wake up. Boom. Christmas tree in the lobby."

"That sound's like Cordelia." Kain said flatly, trying to forget the pain the tar-like brew was inflicting on his taste buds.

"Yes?" Said the perky (in oh so many ways) creature from behind the bright white beast. Suddenly a tiny head poked out from behind the tree. Her hair up in a bun. She was leaning off the wobbly ladder, with a bright red glass ball in her hand. "Oh hi, Morning Kain."

The vampire grunted in reply. The ladder wobbled and he got a good eyefull of her breasts. That made his morning. It was no secret that she was attracted to him. She was also, of course, slightly afraid of him. But then again, so was Wesley, Gunn, Fred, Lorne, Darla, Drusilla, and all manner of assorted demons that called L.A. home. Indeed, Angel was the only person in the city who didn't flinch at his very name. Or so he liked to think. It was safe to say he wasn't a part of "The Gang". Indeed he found "The Gang" to be amusing in their stupidity at best. Annoying as hell at the worst. Still the Hyperion was one of his haunts, and it wasn't unusual for him to be there. If it was to get money in return for his services, information on some of the more powerful demons, or just to flirt with Cordelia.

He gazed down at the cub of foul liquid in his cub. Added some cream, took a sip, added some more cream. He did this a few times before he finally gave up and turned to Angel.

"I didn't receive my payment." He said, slamming the mug down.

"For what?" Angel asked, he wasn't afraid of Kain, but he knew when to pay attention to the vampire.

"For preventing Cordelia from being impregnated by the Beetle demon. Again."

"We didn't hire you for that." Angel said.

"You didn't think I did it for free?"

"I actually thought you do have a decent bone in your body after all."

Kain cocked his head at Angel. Waited for a moment. Then laughed.

"Oh Dear God, I thought you were being serious." Kain said, unable to wipe the smile off his face. Angel didn't laugh with him. Kain's smile became a frown. "You were merely jokeing right?"

"Kain." Angel said rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I realize that you did us a favor. And I thank you but frankly, I don't have the money. In fact I don't have any money. We're broke."

"Very well, I did you a favor, then you will do me a favor." Kain smiled.

"And what might that be?" Angel asked.

"You'll know when I do." Kain said. It was this, when Cordelia, who had been listening intently, leapt in.

"Actually Kain." She said jumping to his side. "You did me a favor." She said leaning against his chest.

"Indeed I did." Kain said. "So it is you who actually owe me a favor." Kain said.

"Tell you what...." She said leaning her chin against his chest and looking up at him. "Tomorrow night I'll come over to your house and...."

"Yes?" He leaned down, his face barely an inch away from hers.

"Do....." She leaned closer, standing on her toes. "Your laundry."

"What?" He asked, stepping back. "My laundry?"

"Yes." She skipped away, to behind the counter.

"I'm somewhat confused. I saved you from being impregnated with demonic larvae and in return you'll do my laundry?"

"You didn't think I was going to sleep with you did you?"

"Yes. Yes I did." He said.

Cordelia was surprised by Kain's blunt response. Kain saw this and laughed.

"Up until a year ago I've been trapped in a stone tomb a mile in the earth for a thousand years at the least. You're actually surprised? Don't be so simple."

"But you've been sleeping with everything in sight! Lilah, Faith, Buffy...."

"Darla." Angel added, sipping from his mug again.

"Oh yes. Darla." He said with a chuckle. Eye glazing over a bit as he remembered.

"You still haven't gotten it out of your system?"

Kain winked at her, turned and spared a glance at the large white Christmas tree, before heading on his way.

"Be prompt my dear." He called over his shoulder.

One night later

Kain stared up at the ceiling as Cordelia snored loudly next to him. All in all he felt it was worth the wait and he hadn't used any magic either. Save his own, mundane charms that is. (And lots of alcohol) But the snoring was somewhat loud. He rolled over, checking the time. It was Christmas day.

"Merry Christmas to me." He said as he drifted off to sleep.


I wrote this a while ago, and I filled it away, thinking it somewhat OOC for Cordy and Kain. But lets face it, they probably would sleep with each other. Just cause. This is in no way romance, they aren't gonna fall in love and get married and blah, blah, blah. They just slept with each other. It meant nothing. Anywho a fic explaining why Kain is in the Buffyverse is in the works, although I left a tiny clue in there. It's my first fic, so be nice.

The End

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