The Ultimate Plot Bunny.
A Seattle Slayers Story by Dave Turner.
Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or any Rabbit related films. I write these stories for fun not profit.
Crossover: BtVS with the film ‘Night of the Lepus’, ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail, ‘Bugs Bunny’ and at least one line from ‘Watership Down’; with a side order of CHiPs, and garnished with just a touch of Celtic and Native American Mythology!
Spelling and Grammar: Written in glorious English-English! American idioms are used wherever possible. Spelling and Grammar are English.
Timeline: Set post BtVS Season 7 in my Willow and Kennedy reality where it is post, ‘Whisper in the Night’.
Warnings: Rabbits, Lesbians, Buckets of blood and more Rabbits.
Summary: A simple Vampire hunt turns into a life or death battle for Kennedy and trainee Slayer Tina.
By Dave Turner.
It was getting dark and Bobbie Adams was glad to be getting home, she trudged tiredly up to her front door and noticed that the lights were on inside. Hopefully this meant that Kim was home; wearily she put her key in the lock and opened the front door.
Bobbie was not what you would call a beautiful woman. She stood a fraction under six feet tall in her stockinged feet. She had an athletic figure that some would have called ‘stocky’ if it was not for her height. Shoulder length mousy blonde hair; that she normally kept in a plat, framed an oval face that’s main feature was a strong chin.
Her unremarkable blue eyes often made people make the mistake that she was dull and unintelligent, when she was in fact a quick-witted and extremely intelligent young woman, who would no doubt go far in her chosen field of law-enforcement.
“Hi honey!” She called as she took off her gun-belt and hung it from one of the hooks on the hall wall.
“Hi Sweetheart.” Called Kim from the kitchen where she was preparing their evening meal.
Kim walked out into the hall to welcome her partner, the two women kissed briefly. Kim was the opposite of her partner she was short, only five-feet-two, small-boned and slim. Being of Mexican extraction she had flashing dark eyes and luxurious black hair that hung down well passed her shoulders. Her teeth seemed to sparkle in a perpetual smile whenever she was with Bobbie.
“Hard day?” Asked Kim letting go of her girlfriend and noting how tired and drawn she looked.
“Yeah.” Sighed Bobbie as she walked into the living room and collapsed into a chair. “Looks like we had another one today.” She announced leaning forward and rested her head in his hands.
“Oh no!” Exclaimed Kim as she sat down on the arm of the chair and put a comforting arm around Bobbie’s shoulder, “Who?”
“Ted Graham.” Bobbie replied simply. Seeing Kim’s look of non-recognition she added, “He used to work part time at the station washing down the vehicles for us…he was only seventeen.”
“Oh Bobbie,” Kim hugged her partner tightly, “Was he like the others?”
“Yeah,” Replied Bobbie, “Throat torn out and exsaguinated. Hardly a pint of blood left in his body.”
“Oh god!” Exclaimed Kim sitting back with her hand over her mouth as she gazed at her lover. “How many does that make?”
“Six that we know of,” Replied Bobbie, “Sheriff thinks some sorta wild animal musta escaped from a zoo or come down from the mountains…but we can never find any tracks, least none that make any sense.”
“Do you think we’ve packed enough?” Asked Tina as she studied the luggage compartment of the SUV.
The vehicle was stuffed with boxes and cases containing everything two Slayers could possibly need on an expedition away from home. Tina made a show of checking the vehicles ground clearance. Kennedy sucked air in through her teeth.
“Oh I think we’ll manage,” She announced, “It’ll be a struggle but…a Slayer has to do what a Slayer has to; even if that means leaving most of her wardrobe behind!” She added with a grin before turning around and walking back towards the house.
Willow and the Little Sisters stood on the front porch of the Seattle Slayer House (otherwise known as the YSWA). Monica and Courtney were at Collage and had already said their goodbyes the night before. That left Shannon and Sally to take up the slaying in Seattle while Ken and Tina were away; Eve having left a day or two earlier to take up duty as a roving Slayer in Oregon and northern California.
Kennedy walked over to Willow who held her daughter Tara on her hip; Tara would be two in a couple of months and picked up on things like her ‘other-mom’ going away. She did not look happy, neither did her mother.
“You got everything?” Asked Willow sadly.
Kennedy looked back at the SUV and then at Willow, she raised an eyebrow in silent answer.
“Silly question,” Said Willow stepping closer to Kennedy, “You be careful, an’ don’t forget to phone home and look after y’self and eat proper meals an’ get enough sleep an’ don’t get killed…an’ have I mentioned about being careful…hmmm!”
Kennedy lent forward and put her arms around both Willow and Tara, she silenced Willow’s babble with a kiss, the most effective way, she had found, of shutting Willow up!
“Look,” She said, “Super-Slayer Ken and her trusted side kick Tina! What could go wrong, after all it just looks like its vamps. Hey!” She called over to Tina who was making her goodbyes to her sister Slayers, “We can deal with a few vamps?”
“Sure,” Replied Tina, “We’ll be back before you notice we’ve gone!”
Kennedy kissed Willow again and then Tara, the child tried to hold on to Kennedy’s hair as if trying to stop her from going. After disentangling Tara’s small hands from her hair, she had been growing it long again because Willow thought it was sexier that way. Kennedy turned towards the SUV while still keeping one arm around Willow’s waist.
“When I get home,” Explained Kennedy, “We’re going to keep everyone awake for a week.” She said referring to their noisy lovemaking.
Willow pretended to look shocked and tried to cover Tara’s ears.
“Not in front of the baby.” She said in mock horror.
Tara giggled at her Mom.
“You know,” Said Willow looking at her child, “I think she understands more than we give her credit for.”
“It’s ‘cause she’s got such a clever and beautiful Mom.” Kennedy replied just before kissing Willow again.
“Do you have to go right now?” Willow asked hopefully.
“Yeah, better.” Kennedy answered with regret.
Kennedy made her way along the line of young Slayers exchanging good luck kisses and hugs.
Tina reached out to hug Willow and Tara.
“Look after her for me?” Whispered Willow into the girl’s long curly blonde hair.
“No worries,” Replied the English Slayer, “I’ll get her back to you with hardly a scratch on her!”
Kennedy drove the SUV away from the waving Slayers and Willow, she turned to Tina.
“Which way to Harmony?”
“You asking me?” Replied Tina.
“Well yeah,” Said Ken, “I brought you along to navigate.”
“Me!?” Exclaimed Tina in surprise, she started to search the vehicle for a map, and then her eyes fell on the ‘Satnav’ “AHA!” She exclaimed and started to push buttons; after a few moments Tina placed the Satnav on the dashboard and said, “South!”
“South?” Queried Kennedy.
“Yeah,” Confirmed Tina, “Everywhere’s more or less south from Seattle!”
“Uh-huh,” Agreed Ken, “Now which way is it to the Interstate?”
“Gawd!” Moaned Tina, “Questions, questions always questions!”
Kim sat at her desk in her office at the Town Hall trying to do some paper work. She had come to work early so she could catch up on her ‘form filling’ before her colleagues arrived and opened up the Town Hall for business. But her mind was on other things. The spate of wild animal attacks were worrying to begin with, and then there was the Sheriff’s inability to track the creature down and destroy it.
This meant there were now several groups of townspeople wandering the surrounding countryside armed to the teeth and more likely to shoot each other than any wild beast that might be attacking people.
As Kim’s partner Bobbie was a Deputy; she had long been accustomed to her job being dangerous. But that was when she was chasing humans, tracking wild animals some how made it seem more dangerous.
Bobbie and her partner Steve Torch drove their patrol car, sirens blearing and lights flashing, towards Harmony High School.
“God, I hope it’s not another School shooting.” Prayed Bobbie.
They had been told to get to the High School as fast as possible, they had not been told why. The two Deputies drove their vehicle into the school parking lot and were greeted by the sight of what must have been Harmony’s entire stock of emergency vehicles.
There were police cruisers, ambulances and fire trucks. They could see other Deputies and emergency crews running into the school buildings. Over on the sports ground they saw crowds of school children clustered around their teachers.
“This looks bad.” Observed Bobbie as they brought their car to a halt.
The two Deputies jumped from their cruiser, and made their way through the crowded parking lot at a dead run. They ran up to one of the entrances of the school where Bobbie saw one of their colleagues; the man looked pale and sick.
“Hey Matt,” Called Bobbie as she and Steve came to a halt by the door, “What’s goin’ on?”
“God Bobbie,” Wailed Matt, “It’s like a slaughter house in there!”
“Why? What?” Demanded Bobbie as she cast Steve a worried look.
“It’s the Cheerleaders Bobbie,” Sobbed Matt as he slid down the wall to sit on the stairs leading up to the school.
“I thought they were going to some competition last night.” Said Steve.
“Yeah they were,” Replied Matt his face hidden in his hands, “Someone…something got to them…” The deputy struggled to control himself, “They’re all dead!” He cried eventually.
Once Ken and Tina were gone and the two remaining girls had left for school, Willow stood in the hall and thought how quiet the house was. Normally Kennedy would be up and moving about as she only worked late mornings and early afternoons at the University Library.
Willow put Tara down and the child shot off into the living room at her normal breakneck speed. Willow went into the kitchen and clearing up after breakfast; she pottered about tidying up and then went into the sitting room where she watched Tara play with her toys for a minute or two. Her eye fell on Rupert the Bearbot.
Woo-pert, as Tara called him, was made with the same type of technology that Warren Meers had used to make the Buffybot. He was a three and a half feet tall brown traditional style Teddy Bear; he was designed to be Tara’s playmate and protector if neither of her Mom’s or any of the young Slayers were around.
He was armed with an impressive set of claws on both his hands and feet plus some vicious looking teeth. The weapons were normally hidden away inside the bear when he was just being a rather clever toy. He had an impressive array of sensors; he could hear and see better than a dog but Willow had been unable to work out a way of letting him smell. He would growl and snarl in warning at anything that threatened Tara before attacking with his claws and teeth.
There were however one or two blind spots in his programming. If Tara fell and hurt herself, as toddlers tend to, he would become confused and just stand about helplessly not knowing what to do. Willow had decided that now was a good time to fill that little hole in his programming.
She had Rupert climb up onto the kitchen table; she clicked a hidden switch at the back of the bears head and Rupert ‘fell asleep’ and lay down on the table. Willow opened an inspection port in the bear’s tummy and plugged in her laptop computer. As she started to type she noticed a small head peer over the edge of the table and look up at her with a worried look.
“Woo-pert sick?” Asked Tara.
“Just a little sweetie,” Replied Willow, “But Mommy’s going to make him all better soon.”
The little girl climbed up onto a chair and started to stroke Rupert’s head gently.
“Poor Woo-pert.” Cooed the child.
Steve and Bobbie walked slowly through the school; there was nothing for them to do. They passed deputies and emergency crews as they carried stretchers out to the waiting ambulances. Each stretcher carried a lifeless form covered by a blood stained white sheet. Frank Dobson, the Sheriff walked up at his two deputies and stopped them from going any further into the school.
“Nothing for you to do here guys,” Said the Sheriff, “Best thing you can do is see the Principle and ask if there’s anyone out there needs any help.”
“What happened Uncle Frank?” Asked Steve, his father and Frank had been friends for years and Steve had grown up thinking of Dobson as an Uncle; Frank looked at the two deputies.
“We’ve got fifteen dead cheerleaders here.” He gestured to another stretcher as it was carried out. “Someone or something…god I hope it wasn’t people who did this, ripped ‘em apart and hid their bodies in a store room. No one found ‘em ‘till the beginning of school this mornin’.”
“Hell!” Exclaimed Bobbie, “Who…what could have done this?”
Frank shook his head sadly.
“The more I look at it,” He said quietly, “The more I think there’s a whole pack of these things…dam! I wish we could find some tracks or somethin’.”
“What about dogs?” Asked Steve.
“Feds are flyin’ ‘em in tomorrow.” Replied Dobson.
“Where shall we stay?” Asked Tina as she and Kennedy drove into Harmony, “Motel or Guest House?”
They had made good time travelling down the interstate and it was only now starting to get dark.
“Guest House,” Said Kennedy.
“Oh Ken!” Whined Tina, “Some hokey place with a nosey landlady and not even basic cable!”
“With proper food,” Kennedy pointed out, “No drunks or hookers or truck drivers. Any way Willow called ahead and booked us a room at the Harmony Guest Lodge, apparently it’s just off the town square so we should be in the centre of things.”
“This place has a centre?” Asked Tina incredulously, “It hardly looks big enough!”
“Oh come on now,” Said Kennedy, “This is small town America think of it as part of your education…and have you noticed how many police we’ve seen since we crossed the city limits?”
“Well why didn’t you say something?” Asked Ken.
“I thought that was normal for ‘small town America’” Replied Tina.
“This isn’t the wild west.” Kennedy informed the young Slayer.
“Feels like it.” Grumbled Tina.
Kennedy slowed down when she saw two California Highway Patrol motorbikes parked across the road making an ad-hoc roadblock.
“I wonder what all this is about,” Kennedy said as she brought the SUV to a halt, “Now be polite to the nice policemen.”
“I just hope they don’t find all the weapons in the back,” Muttered Tina as she watched the Officers approach the car, “Don’t like the idea of spending the night in a ‘hokey’ jail, with all the drunks an’ hookers.”
Kennedy opened her window as the shorter of the two officers came up to the car.
“Evenin’ officer.” Smiled Kennedy brightly as the Patrolman stood by her door; she noticed the way the officer kept his hand on the butt of his pistol.
“Is there a problem?” She asked, and glanced up at the rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of Tina grinning like an idiot in the seat next to her.
The Patrolman touched the rim of his helmet with his left forefinger in salute; his nametag identified him as Officer Poncherello.
“Sorry to trouble you Miss,” He said, “But can I ask you the reason for your visit to Harmony?”
“We’re just passing through on our way south,” Volunteered Kennedy, “Just going to stop the night then move on again in the morning.”
“Sorry Miss, but you might want to carry on though,” Explained the Patrolman, “There’s been some trouble in town,” He hesitated for a moment, “It might not be safe for you and your…?” He looked over a Tina and raised a questioning eyebrow.
“My little sister!” Kennedy informed the officer as she patted Tina on the leg, “We’re on a sorta ‘roadtrip’, you know bonding…it’s a sister thing.” Kennedy smiled her brightest smile and even fluttered her eyelashes.
The other officer spoke up for the first time.
“I’d really advise you to turn ‘round and go back the way you came.” She explained.
Kennedy screwed up her face as if in indecision.
“We’ve come a long way, an’ my sister is really tired,” On cue Tina yawned loudly, “And we’re got a room booked at the Guest Lodge in town.”
“Okay miss,” Said Office Jo Baker, “But don’t stop for anyone, and stay in your hotel when you get there.”
“We’ll be careful Officer,” Called Kennedy as she started to drive away.
Tina looked over the back of her seat to watch the two Patrol persons recede into the night.
“Anyone would think we were just a couple of helpless females.” She grinned as they drove into Harmony.