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Get thee to a nunnery.

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Summary: Max 452, receives stern words from Dr Carr, about her life style choices. Warning: contains brutally frank discussion about a certain sex act.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Dark Angel > Non-BtVS/AtS Stories(Past Donor)KiwikatipoFR1811,317061,8374 Feb 074 Feb 07Yes
Title: Get Thee to a Nunnery
Author: Kiwikatipo
Disclaimer:James Cameron owns Dark Angel
Setting: Post Freak Nation

AN: Every single thing I describe, I have truly read in someone or another’s Dark Angel fanfic.


Max sat uncomfortably on the hard chair in Doctor Carr’s office, fairly sure the news the doctor was about to impart was not going to be the bomb.

Sam Carr flipped the x-rays and test results down on the table in front of him. He glanced at her sternly. “You always seemed like an intelligent young woman, Max. These results are serious. Stop lying to me about your sexual history. Just what've you been doing for the past two years?”

“Okay, I haven’t been entirely upfront.” Max hesitated, chewing a torn fingernail. “But it all made sense at the time.”

“What did? Come on, Max, I’m your doctor. I’m sworn to confidentiality. Logan need never know.” Dr Carr eased her mind. “How many partners? How often do you have anal sex?”

“I guess I’ve just lost count.” Max murmured, looking down, trying to count them up on her fingers. “It all started back at Manticore. You see… once I was recaptured. Renfro tried to break my spirit.

I was put into a cell with my brothers Zack and Ben. Artificial hormones to induce a chemical heat flooding my system. Naturally, we ended up in a threesome. Naturally, Zack had to stick his dick up my ass. That was when I had my first transgenic butt climax.”

“But I thought it was a breeding scheme?” Dr Carr said puzzled. “What would be the point of sperm inside your anus, if the purpose was to inseminate you?”

“I don’t know!” Max said frustrated. “I mean it would have made more sense to get the guys to ejaculate in a specimen jar, monitor the females’ urine and inseminate us when we were ovulating. I think they were selling videos to fund the project. Anyway, once you’ve done it from the back you never go back, right?”

“You’re telling me, Max,” Dr Carr said neutrally, “Go on.”

“Heck, I’d developed a taste for transgenics by then anyways. I mean Zack and I had been intimate before, in Logan’s uncle’s cabin in the woods. Nice place, you’ve been there?”

“Yeah, great place for fishing, is that when the anal sex started?” Dr Carr asked, getting her back on track.

“No, those early days were kinda sweet, it was after, everything changed. I mean Alec and I were having frequent intercourse at Manticore, all that summer of my captivity. We also did it up my ass then, when Alec was made to have sex with me and Ben to break my spirit as well.”

Dr Carr shook his head. “Manticore couldn’t have just given you a lobotomy?”

“Whatever. Maybe that was too expensive, I didn’t ask.” Max shrugged rebelliously. “I was pregnant when I left Manticore of course. I miscarried the month I came back from Manticore. Whether from crashing my motorbike in the rain that time, after my angry fight with Alec, falling down a flight of stairs, after running away when I walked in on seeing Logan in bed with Asha, lifting that heavy package Normal made me deliver. I’ll never know.’

“And why did you keep having anal sex after that?” Dr Carr pressed her.

“Well it seemed, I don’t know polite, I guess. Huh?” Max explained, twirling her long dark hair, in a desperate wish to be anywhere but in the doctor’s surgery. “I mean I had to have frontal sex with Biggs, and anal intercourse with Alec, after we had watched a porn tape together on a quiet Friday night for example, it was just manners.

“Manners…,” Repeated Dr Carr neutrally.

“And when I had to have sex with Ben and Alec simultaneously, to avoid capture by white slavers,” Max continued, recounting. “Well that seemed to be the thing to do as well.

And of course this year, White has kept kidnapping me. Sexually torturing me with breeding cult whips and ropes and stuff and snakes. When White kidnaps me with Alec and Zack at the same time, sticks us in a cell with no food and water. Well naturally, to fill in time….”Max looked at Dr Carr helplessly.

“Naturally, so they’ve been your only partners Zack, Ben, Alec, Biggs and White?” Dr Carr asked her.

“Mainly, oh sometimes my other 09 brothers if they come into town.” Max lowered her head. “That always makes Alec jealous, and then we have sexual intercourse. One time with my clone sister Sam, when she came back from Vancouver. I guess it was just completely spontaneous, like deciding to go on a picnic or something. I mean me, my clone, Alec and Ben, hey it was inevitable wasn’t it? For Ben, Alec, Sam and I, to all have sex together on the hard, uncomfortable, unhygienic floor in a deserted Terminal City building. It was real bad luck that poor Logan had to walk in on that. I mean what would be the odds? I keep going into heat of course too, that doesn’t help.”

“No.” Dr Carr said shaking his head in medical disbelief. “I imagine not. I’ll give it to you straight Max, this lifestyle you’re leading is taking a real toll on your health. I presume all your transgenic partners have genetically enhanced penises?”

“Absolutely, and always I wonder if I’ll be able to take them. Fortunately I can every single time. I never need anymore lubrication than a droplet of precum fluid, or a teaspoon of saliva from the oral sex I’ve had beforehand.” Max paused to frown. “What do you mean, toll on my health?”

“Well Max, the human anus has evolved to expel feces, not be a receptacle for penises and semen.” Dr Carr said bluntly. “Do you ever fist?”

“Rarely, Dr Carr,” Max said swiftly. “Only once about every thirty sexual encounters. I always orgasm from that too. I never need clitoral stimulation, a whack transgenic bonus I guess.”

Dr Carr sighed, rechecking her test results. My god, he thought they should make a movie about her, and call it ‘Deep Bottom’. “And you never use condoms. Let me guess, the genetically enhanced, ‘supersize me’ transgenic penis, keeps breaking them?”

“Well duh,” Max rolled her eyes. “But like I say, I keep miscarrying in my first trimester. Might be because of my cat burglar lifestyle, leaping off buildings and stuff, huh?”

Dr Carr shook his head, eager to clear up her common misconception. “Miscarriages are nearly always caused by genetic abnormalities, or the mother’s gynecological deformities, not falling down stairs.”

“Oh.” said Max depressed, slouching carefully back in her seat. Was Dr Carr going to ever get to the point, did she have some form of transgenic anal cancer or what?

“The anus was definitely not made for sexual intercourse. As I mentioned before Max,” Dr Carr told her tiredly. “Even for a transgenic woman like yourself, this means that there is no form of natural lubrication, nor the flexibility offered by the vagina.

This makes anal sex particularly painful, and tearing of the delicate tissues may occur in the anus and rectum. The anal sphincter may be stretched or weakened and long-term damage to this area may result in incontinence and loss of sphincter control.”

Dr Carr looked directly at her and slammed his fist down on the table to get his point across. “You’re facing a diaper wearing adulthood, Max, if you don’t cut out your ass shenanigans now.”

Max left the doctors surgery, her beautiful head hung down low, with an itchy sore inner bottom, wondering what to do.

She could never avoid males. She popped into Father Destry’s church. It was an intense heart to heart in the confessional booth with him, that pointed her way.

“You need to be somewhere where it’s an all female environment, away from the pressures of the flesh, Max.” The young priest advised. “Have you ever considered a permanent retreat to a convent?”

The End (No pun intended)

The End

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