title: love is just masochism at its best
author: jinni (email@example.com)
disclaimer: all things btvs belong to joss whedon, et al. all things spn belong to eric kripke, et al.
series: taking faith
summary: Sometimes love is great… and sometimes it just hurts
Sam knew something wasn’t right from the second that he woke up. The bed between him and Dean was still slightly warm to the touch, but the body that had been occupying that space was no where to be found. The room stilled smelled of sex, the second bed in the room was still rumpled from where the three of them had gotten very enthusiastic about enjoying each other the night before, and all of their things were still there.
Then he really
looked at the pile of bags, and for a moment he could only sit there in shocked disbelief. All of his and Dean’s
things were still there. Faith’s on the other hand, were gone.
Sam looked at the spot where her bag had been, wondering how she’d snuck out of the room without either him or Dean noticing. He rubbed a hand down over his face, trying to piece something – anything – together that would explain why she would have left. If it was just a matter of needing to get back to Cleveland, well, she would have at least woken them up and said something, right?
In his mind’s eye, Sam replayed the night before. Had there been signs? She’d seemed a little off, but nothing too major. And Faith got into little moody spats all the time. It wasn’t anything new. They’d spent a few hours out – first at a diner in town, then a bar – and then the three of them had come back and put the beds in the room to good use.
And the walls.
The desk had also been fun. Or, watching Faith lay spread out on the desk while Dean screwed her had been fun.
It had been a great night, all things considered.
They’d crawled into bed together, Faith in the middle, he’d leaned over and kissed her goodnight, told her he loved her and…
… watched the spark in her eyes fizzle and die. It had seemed odd at the time, the sad smile she had given him, and he’d chalked it up to being tired. Her. Him. Didn’t matter. One of them was just tired.
She hadn’t said the words back to him. Then again, she never did. Not once since a week before in the woods when he’d admitted it to her. Dean didn’t say them, either.
Sam had thought that it was just understood between the three of them. They all cared about one another.
Looking back on it, remembering the way that Faith had acted differently since that night, the way she’d seemed almost sad last night, it all made sense.
She hadn’t loved them. Leaving was her way of ending things now that they’d gotten too heavy for her.
Dean woke when Sam collapsed backwards into the pillows again. Pain was a tight vice around his heart.
“What s’matter?” he asked, sleepily.
Sam swallowed and sighed. “Faith’s gone.”
“Probably went to get something to eat,” Dean muttered.
Right. Sam wished
it was that simple.
“No, Dean,” he said softly. “She’s gone
. She left
Silence. Then, in a rough voice, Dean managed just one word.