New Game, New Rules
September 28- New Rule #1 “I will stop thinking about him. Really. Starting NOW. Or... NOW... now?”
I got back to the new Slayer and Watcher Council this morning, and everyone was super happy to see me. Giles made me change into my new “uniform” so I could scare Buffy and Xander senseless. Sometimes I think it was him that should have gone to Evil 101. Of course, the “graduation present” might have been a bit awkward...
Eeep!! No, remember the new rules!
Yup. Definitely not thinking about that.
...Crap.September 30- New Rule # 2 “Still not thinking about him. I am doing so much better at not thinking about him.”
Tomorrow I get to start my class. It's mostly going to be research with some magic worked in as well. Stuff that will keep these girls alive for longer than a few years, definitely. SO unlike the Old Council.
You know, I'm still pissed at the old Council for not teaching them any of this stuff. Even the bare minimum of knowledge Giles was able to force into Buffy's head saved her life so many times. How many Slayers died because they simply didn't know which part of the demon to attack? I mean, they DELIBERATELY didn't tell these girls things, just to keep them more under control! They were just as bad as the Shadow Men, forcing that demon into the First Slayer! Foolish...arrogant...insufferable man!
I mean, MEN.
This he-who-shall-not-be-thought-of thing is super fun.
As much fun as you can have without actually having any, of course.
Class. Tomorrow. Concentrate.
Concentrate.October 1- New Rule #3 “Oh, forget it.”
That was absolutely the most fun I have ever had.
Their faces! All of them! The great and powerful Slayers of Vampires! Half of them have already made their first kills! And I, Willow Rosenberg of Sunnydale: computer nerd, book worm, magic junkie, wallflower...
I made them fear me.
The moment I slammed open that door, I had them. Severus was perfectly right about the way to make an entrance. I think a girl in one of the back corners might have actually fallen off the desk she was sitting on. I walked exactly like I should, clicking on my new and amazing stiletto heels fearlessly and without a wobble (quite a feat, really; it took me a week of practice to get that right). Girls parted before me like I was Moses, if, you know, Moses had been a girl and a witch and in heels...
I even got to sneer! Me! Sneering like Cordelia! Like Spike! Like...
Well, we'll get to him in a minute.
Anyways, after sneering at that poor girl that moved a tiny bit too slowly, I kept on clicking, right up to the teacher's desk. I had a weird sense of unreality standing up there, like I should have been turning in homework or something. I put down my notes, closed my eyes and focused. When my sixteen-year-old self had submerged again, I turned around slowly, taking my time and letting them know exactly who had control of this room.
They were, to a girl, wide eyed and nervous. I didn't think it was possible to get today's desensitized youth to be surprised, especially ones that professionally killed the weird and creepy. But it totally happened. I cast my gaze over them, coolly indifferent to their very existence. Think like Severus, I thought. Think Severus. Think...
Severus, sitting in the back of my classroom, smirking for all he was worth. The fact that the girls weren't trying to slay him simply for his resemblance to their natural enemy was enough to tell me he was magically hidden. Ever since the opening of my eyes that came with pearly white hair and a whole lot of magic, the wizarding type of invisibility didn't work so well on me. I saw them like I saw everyone else, which made for some rather hilarious moments the weekend those Weasley twins popped over for a visit.
Enough of the Weasleys. There's enough of them that they can all just think of themselves.
After all, there was a Severus in my room.
I crinkle my eyes a bit in greeting, then continue to totally incapacitate the Chosen Ones. As I moved my stare back to the other side of the room, I saw Severus wave his wand and a voice, just inside my ear, gave me his message. Fighting not to grin, I kept up the stare-off until I was sure that the tension in the room might actually damage some of these girls. Then I started my speech.
“This is a class of magics and intelligence.”
I sound so smart, right? Smart and scary, the best of both worlds.
“If any of you have even the tiniest bit of either, it's more than can reasonably be expected, considering the usual Slayers I work with.”
At this point, I made a silent apology to Buffy, Faith and every Sunny-hell Slayer recruit on the list. It's not their faults I had to make these girls feel small and insignificant.
“There will be no idiotic sword waving or aiming of crossbows in this class. If you prove to have even minimum amount of brains required, I can teach you how to know your enemies, trap your enemies, even dismember your enemies from afar.”
Now this is the bit I shall be sent to orator's hell for. If I hadn't gotten permission to use bits of his speech in the first place, Severus might have just come up and strangled me, I think. Happy, happy forethought.
“I would go further, but it is doubtful that any of you will even get to this stage, so I figure why bother.”
Small and insignificant, Slayers. With Buffy and Giles telling them they were Chosen and special, someone needed to offset all the happy fuzzy feelings they were getting.
And then I got to my favorite part.
“And perhaps that is what you were thinking, Miss Crew, when you placed that wad of gum under your desk instead of simply walking to the trash and disposing of it?”
Ha! Take that, you untidy teenage monstrosity! Her shock alone would have done it for me, but since the entire gum thing had happened BEFORE I got in the room, every single Slayer in the room double in heart rate. “How did she do that?” I could almost hear them asking each other. MAGIC, you dummies! I'M A WITCH.
Of course, that's not how I did it, but a good magician, or witch, never tells her secrets.
Then, after I had allowed time for Miss Crew to throw away her gum (Uck! So pink! Give me Big Red any day!) and for the rumor mill to start up, I started my class.
And that was even better.
Using a secret technique to make these girls feel even MORE small and insignificant (at some point, these girls are gonna be about as tall as that fear demon from college, and I shall laugh). Okay, I mostly used it to give Severus a good laugh, considering my source for this technique, but still. Worked perfectly. I started into my spiel about 'justice demons' with a silent and personal invocation: “Bunnies.”
I like the idea that Anya's in heaven somewhere, glaring down at me.
By the end of the class, I had dropped enough ten-ton hints that even the slowest of Slayers had started to work out what I wanted them to. Within hours, the entire Slayers barracks will be convinced that I am demonic, and they'll be worried because they KNOW they can't slay me. Big nix on the slaying teachers thing. They'll be helpless in my clutches. Helpless and terrified.
I am SO going to love this job.
As the last Slayer bolts from the room and into sweet freedom, I sit on my desk, swinging my legs and watching Severus watch me. He taps his wand on his head, presumably to lift the disillusionment, and walks up to my desk slowly.
And congratulates me. VERY pleasantly.
I am definitely gonna like this new me.