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"I'm Willow, Fly Me."

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This story is No. 11 in the series "The Seattle Slayers.". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: A Simple trip to visit Buffy in Cleveland turns to disaster for Willow. Xover with 'Airplane', 'Airport 75' and 'Snakes on a Plane.'

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > Multiple Movies(Recent Donor)DaveTurnerFR15613,7870225,70112 Mar 0721 Mar 07Yes

Chapter One

“I’m Willow, Fly Me.”
A Seattle Slayers Story by Dave Turner.

Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or ‘Airplane’, ‘Airport ’75’ or ‘Snakes on a Plane’. I write these stories for fun not profit.

Crossover: BtVS with ‘Airplane’, Airport ‘75’ and ‘Snakes on a Plane’.

Spelling and Grammar: Written in glorious English, English! American idioms are used wherever possible. Spelling and grammar is English.

Timeline: This story is set in my Willow and Kennedy universe after the events described in ‘Wabbits’.

Words: Quite a lot!

Warnings: Lesbians, strong language, and improbable situations.

Summary: Willow must save the day when she takes a plane trip to Cleveland.

NOTE: Look out for all the quotes!

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‘I’m Willow, Fly Me.
By Dave Turner.


Buffy looked down at the broken, beaten girl who lay strapped to the table. She wiped the blood from her hands with an old rag.

“If you just tell us what we want to know,” She almost pleaded, “All this can stop. You’ve been very brave and no one would blame you. So why don’t you just tell us?”

The girl licked her swollen, blooded lips and tried to say something. Buffy bent down so her ear was near the girl’s mouth. The girl whispered something to Buffy, who stood up her face turning dark with anger; she raised her hand to strike at the defenceless girl who laughed at her defiantly.

Buffy struck killing the girl instantly.

“Well that was a waste of time!” She exclaimed turning to the man in a grey suit who stood in the shadows. “In future when we catch one of the Witch’s Slayers we use the drugs. Torturing Slayers is time consuming and pointless.”

“I’m sure we can make the right drugs available to you Ms Summers.” Replied Agent Storm as he stepped forward to look at the dead girl, “What did she say?”

“What?” Asked Buffy.

“Before she died,” Explained Storm, “She said something…it seemed to annoy you.” The Agent smiled as he looked at Buffy.

“Oh!” Said Buffy as she headed towards the door; “It was nothing…nothing important.”

“Nothing is unimportant,” Said Storm placing a blue gloved hand on Buffy’s shoulder bringing her to a halt, “Tell me what she said.” He almost ordered.

Buffy sighed and turned to face the man.

“I tell you,” She said brightly, “It was nothing…a meaningless slogan, that’s all.”

“It appeared to upset you.” Agent Storm held Buffy with his gaze.

“Okay, okay,” Buffy gave in, “She said, ‘We live for the Witch. We die for the Witch’.” Buffy shrugged her shoulders, “Like I say meaningless.”

Buffy turned and left the room at a brisk walk. Storm turned and walked back to where the girl lay. He studied her dead body for a moment.

“This could be more serious than we thought.” He said to the room.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Willow woke up with a scream, instantly alert for danger Kennedy sprang out of bed and scanned the room for danger.

“What’s wrong?” She asked as she crouched by the bed, she could see no monsters, no vampires not even a little Tara trying to get into her moms bed.

“Bad dream.” Announced Willow sitting up and switching on the bedside light, Kennedy relaxed and got back into bed.

“What sort of bad dream?” Kennedy wanted to know.

“The very bad sort,” replied Willow miserably, “The sort that might come true.”

Kennedy nodded her head sympathetically, she knew about those sorts of dreams. She did not have many but the ones she did have, they were powerful mojo. She put her arm around Willow and pulled her close.

“Want to tell me about it?” She asked.

“It was about Buffy.” Replied Willow.

“In a good way or bad?” Kennedy wanted to know, over the years she and Buffy had settled most of their differences. They could not be called friends but at least they respected one another now.

“Bad,” said Willow, “Very bad.”

“Do you have to go?” Asked Kennedy nuzzling Willow’s neck, knowing that Willow would want to check on her oldest and best girlfriend.

Willow turned to look into her lover’s eyes.

“I think I should,” She replied sleepily, “What with all the stories we’ve been hearing about Buffy and the school.”

They had gone over the rumours coming out of Cleveland time and time again, the only way of finding out what was true and what was not, was to actually go to Cleveland.

Over the last few weeks Willow and Kennedy had received disturbing reports on conditions at the Slayer School in Cleveland. It had all started when a new trainee Slayer, Alice, had arrived at the Seattle House that Willow and Kennedy ran. Alice had been a very disturbed girl who was only now just coming to terms with her new found powers and purpose in life.

From what Alice had said, Buffy had more or less kidnapped her off the streets and turned the Cleveland school into something not unlike a Military Academy. It appeared that both she and Giles were starting to treat the young Slayers the way the old Council had. At first Willow would not believe everything that Alice told her, but, a phone call to Xander (Who now seemed to be living with Faith in New Orleans) appeared to confirm a lot of what Alice had said.

“Is there nothing I can say or…do,” Kennedy’s fingers found a tender spot, making Willow squirm, “To make you stay?”

“NO!” Squeaked Willow trying to resist her lover’s advances, “I’m resolved!”

The bedside light went out of its own accord.

“‘Resolve face’ doesn’t work in the dark.” Said Kennedy as she worked her lips along Willow’s shoulder and down towards her breasts.

“No! No!” Cried Willow melodramatically, “There’s nothing that you can do to make me stay!”

Kennedy’s head popped up from under the covers.

“You know I’ll take that as a challenged?” She grinned.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Purred Willow.

0=0=0=0

“What have you done to your hair?” Asked Willow the next morning as Sally wandered into the kitchen.

Sally, now no longer the youngest Slayer at the YSWA (Young Slayer’s Wicca Association) had until recently had long curly red hair. Now it was short and straight.

“Don’t worry,” Replied Sally as she sat down at the breakfast table, “I only had it done yesterday.”

“Thank Goddess for that.” Replied Willow with a sigh as she placed a cup of coffee in front of the younger woman, “I thought I’d turned into my mother, and you’d done it months ago and I’d not noticed.”

“No you’re alright,” Sally reassured, “Do you like it?”

“Yeah,” Replied Willow after a moments thought, “It suits you…it’s cute.”

Sally’s face fell.

“Cute wasn’t exactly the look I was going for,” She sighed, “I was trying for sophisticated an’ grown up.”

“Over rated,” Announced Kennedy as she came into the kitchen and sat down, “Don’t be in a rush to grow up.” She added.

“You should listen to your old Auntie Kennedy,” Advised Willow, “She always gives very sage advice. Now where’s Tina and Alice?”

Sally tried not to choke on her coffee as she burst into a fit of giggles. Both of the older women turned hard looks on Sally.

“What?” She asked innocently.

“Spill!” Ordered Kennedy.

“Spill what?” Pleaded Sally.

“A simple question like, ‘where’s Tina and Alice’ should not result in regurgitated coffee!” Exclaimed Willow.

“You’ve not noticed?” Asked Sally incredulously, “You’ve not heard?”

“WHAT?” Demanded Kennedy and Willow together.

Sally rolled her eyes and shook her head in that way that teenagers do when faced with adults who do not notice the obvious, even when it is right under their noses.

“You have noticed that they’ve been spending a lot of time together?” Asked Sally pointedly, “An’ their rooms interconnect?” She added meaningfully.

“Yes, well I thought…” The penny dropped in Willow’s mind followed by the one in Kennedy’s.

“They’re not…?” Began Kennedy.

“But Alice is only fifteen!” Cried Willow.

“What’s going on?” Asked Shannon, the other trainee Slayer at the YSWA, as she bounced happily into the room.

“Nothing!” Replied Willow, Kennedy and Sally together.

Shannon looked at everyone suspiciously.

“If I were paranoid,” She said slowly, “I’d be really worried about now.”

“Mornin’” Called Tina as she and Alice walked into the room, all eye’s turned to the couple, “What?” She asked.

“Nothing.” Said Kennedy turning to pour herself a cup of coffee.

“Hmmm?” Asked Willow innocuously.

“They’ve all gone weird overnight.” Shannon suggested.

“Must be all the sex.” Added Sally just loud enough for people to hear.

0=0=0=0

“Now you be a good girl an’ do what your ma’Ken tells you.” Willow told her daughter Tara as she gave her a farewell hug.

“Mommy stay!” Demanded the child hanging on to her mother’s neck as if her life depended on it.

“Sorry sweetie,” Replied Willow sadly, “I’ve got to go, but I’ll be back soon. I’ll bring you a present back from Auntie Buffy.”

The little girl could not be mollified and hung on to her mother all the tighter.

0=0=0=0

Kennedy stood in front of Sally who was going to be accompanying Willow on this trip.

“Okay,” Asked Kennedy, “What weapons have you got stashed away?”

“Nothing that’ll show up.” Claimed Sally.

“Come on now,” Said Kennedy, “I know you Sally. You’ve probably got an axe in that suitcase an’ half a dozen knives stuck down your knickers!”

“Have not!” Exclaimed Sally shocked at the very idea.

“Jump up and down then.” Ordered Kennedy.

“What?”

“Go on.”

Sally dutifully jumped up and down; she ‘clanked’.

“Okay let’s have them.” Kennedy held out her hand.

Sally produced several knives, throwing stars and a knuckle-duster from about her person. Putting aside the small pile of weaponry Kennedy fixed the young Slayer with a stare.

“Okay, okay.” Giving up the unequal struggle Sally bent down and opened her case and took out the axe that rested on top of her clothes.

“Anything else?” Kennedy asked.

Reluctantly Sally removed the wire garrotte from the collar of her jacket.

“That’s it.” She said sulkily.

“You’ll thank me later, when you’re not in jail.” Kennedy pointed out.

Sally was not convinced, she felt naked without at least one knife somewhere about her. Deep down she knew the logic of it all. Since 9/11 taking any type of weapon aboard an aircraft was difficult, not impossible, but difficult; and the results of being caught were enough to put most people off. But going unarmed contravened one of Miss Kennedy’s rules; Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it!

Here she was being sent out into a cruel world alone (apart from the most powerful witch in the world) and unarmed (other than her Slayer strength, speed and various unarmed combat techniques she had been taught). Sally had no idea what dangers she might face on a trip to ‘darkest Cleveland’. But, she was going to have to face the unknown without her favourite axe, knives, throwing stars, knuckle-duster and garrotte. She would just have to make do with her bare hands.

0=0=0=0

Eventually the taxi came to take Willow and Sally to Sea Tac airport. There were a lot of hugs and kisses. A rather tearful Tara was disentangled from her mom’s neck and handed over to her ma’Ken. Cases were loaded into the trunk of the taxi and Willow and Sally climbed into the back seats. The two women waved as they were driven down the street, the taxi turned a corner and the YSWA and their family was hidden from view. The adventure had begun!

0=0=0=0

Captain Stacy looked at himself in the mirror of the crew washroom and straightened his tie. Moments later he was joined by his co-pilot, Bill Hampton.

“You see the weather report for today?” Asked Hampton.

“Yeah,” Replied Stacy, “I hear we expect a bumpy ride today, there’s a storm front coming down from Canada.”

“I used to know a stewardess who thought that was sexy.” Said Hampton to his Captain’s reflection.

“What?” Asked Stacy with a smile, “Storm fronts from Canada?”

“No!” Exclaimed Hampton, “The ‘bumpy ride’ thing!”

Captain Stacy turned to his co-pilot, “You’re weird, you know that?”

“Me?” Asked Hampton, “Never!”

The two men laughed and picked up their flight bags and left the washroom heading towards their aircraft. They never reached it.

0=0=0=0

The taxi stopped outside the airport entrance. While Willow paid off the cab driver Sally got their bags from the trunk.

“I’ll wait here while you get a trolley.” Said Willow.

“I can manage!” Said Sally hefting the two big cases in her hands.

“No you can’t!” Said Willow pointedly, “How can a little girl like you carry two big, heavy cases like those?”

Sally noted the verbal underlining and ran off to find a trolley.

“The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only.” Came a male voice over the airport PA. “There is no stopping in a red zone.”

“The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a red zone.” Repeated a female announcer.

“The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in a white zone.” Contradicted the male voice.

“No,” Corrected the female voice, “the white zone is for loading. Now, there is no stopping in a RED zone!”

“The red zone,” Replied the male announcer rather testily, “has always been for loading.”

“Don't you tell me which zone is for loading, and which zone is for unloading.” Snapped the female announcer angrily.

“Look Betty,” Demanded the male voice, “Don't start up with your white zone shit again. There's just no stopping in a white zone!”

“Oh really, Vernon?” Sneered the female voice, “Why pretend, we both know perfectly well what this is about. You want me to have an abortion!”

Willow looked around herself uneasily and wished Sally would hurry up with the trolley.

0=0=0=0

“Who are you?” Demanded the Chief Stewardess as she blocked the gangway towards the flight deck.

“I’m Captain John Smith,” Replied the short swarthy officer as he led his flight crew towards the flight deck, “And this is my flight crew.” He gestured to two more short swarthy men in Airline uniforms.

“I thought Captain Stacy was our pilot for this flight.” Said Elaine Dickinson, the Chief Stewardess.

“Oh he was.” Confirmed Smith smiling pleasantly at Elaine, “There was some mix up and crews on several flights had to be reassigned.” He explained.

“There was?” Asked Elaine suspiciously she had never seen this Smith guy before in her life.

“I’m afraid so.” Agreed Smith calmingly, “You can check with the Airline office if you want.”

Elaine thought for a moment, this sort of screw up was not unheard of, she relaxed and smiled at the pilot.

“I’m sure you’re right,” She said finally, “Welcome aboard Captain.”

0=0=0=0

Willow and Sally stood in the queue at the Security Check-in. There was some sort of hold up as a Nun ahead of them was having her guitar case searched. As they stood and waited Willow eavesdropped on the conversation of the two young black men who stood in line behind her.

“Shit man,” Began the taller of two men, “That honky mus’ be messin’ my old lady…got to be runnin cold upside down his head. You know?”

“Hey home,” Agreed his friend, “I can dig it. You know he ain’t gonna lay no mo’ rap up on you man.”

“I say hey sky,” Continued Tall-guy, “S’other s’ay I wan say?”

“UH…” Began his friend.

“Pray to J,” Ordered Tall-guy, “I get the same ol’ same ol’.”

“eh. Yo knock yourself a pro stick,” Said Tall-guy’s friend, “Grey matter live performas down now take TCB’m man.”

“Hey,” Asked Tall-guy, “You know what they say…see a broad, to get that booty yak ‘em.”

“Leg’er down’n smack ‘em yak ‘em!” They said together, laughing.

“Cold got to be,” Announced Tall-guy, “You know? Shiiiiit!”

Willow looked down at Sally.

“Am I getting old or something?” She asked the young Slayer, “’Cause I didn’t understand a word of that!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Announced Sally wisely, “Neither did I.”

Sally pushed their luggage trolley a few paces forward. Security had decided that the nun and her guitar posed no immediate threat to national security and had let her through into the departure lounge. The businessman in front of them had his briefcase searched then it was Willow and Sally’s turn.

Sally grinned at the security personnel and tried to look innocent while Willow tried not to look worried. They both looked passed the check-in to where there was a small commotion as group of people, clustered around a gurney, made their way towards the security gate. As they got closer Willow could just make out what they were saying.

On the gurney itself lay a young girl aged about twelve or thirteen years old. There was a tube from a drip leading into her arm: a worried looking woman, who was obviously her mother, walked by the side of the gurney.

“Please Janice,” Said the worried woman to the girl on the gurney, “Remember what the Doctor said; you must lie still, very still.”

“I know, Mother,” Replied Janice, “But it’s so exciting! The people are so interesting!”

Willow overheard one of the security man comment to his partner.

“Poor kid! She’s in Seattle an’ her kidneys in Cleveland!”

0=0=0=0

Having made it through security Willow and Sally sat down in the departure lounge, Willow turned to Sally.

“You know Sall’” She said quietly, “Nuns with guitars, sick girls on gurneys, I’m getting a bad feeling about this flight.”

“You worry too much Miss Willow.” Announced the teenager as she retrieved a magazine from her ‘carry-on’ bag.”

“Well yeah!” Agreed Willow, “That’s how come I’m still alive. Just promise me one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Whatever you do,” Said Willow urgently, “Don’t eat the Fish Dinner!”

TBC.
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