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Faith (Patricia) Halliwell, A New Destiny

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Summary: A possible reason for why Faith lost it and went off to the dark side: her slayer part and the things she inherited from her mom and dad and the family she belongs to were never meant to be mixed.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Charmed > Faith-CenteredDarklightFR1815,251262,94119 Jun 0319 Jun 03Yes
Faith (Patricia) Halliwell,
A new Destiny

*****

Title: Faith (Patricia) Halliwell, A New Destiny

Author: Darklight

Rating: PG-13 to be on the save side

Pairing: Faith/Cordy eventually

Email: dmiovski@zonnet.nl

Content: Crossover Angel/Charmed

Summary: A possible reason for why Faith lost it and went off to the dark side: her slayer part and the things she inherited from her mom and dad and the family she belongs to were never meant to be mixed.

Spoilers: Season 3 BtVS, some regarding Faith.

Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse & Buffyverse & Charmedverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt & Spelling. No infringement is intended, no profit to be made. Only the story idea is mine.

Distribution: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=141811 , otherwise inform me where my fic goes so I can look it up.

Notes: Not really a writer, but I have some idea’s about things I would like to happen on the show, what could have happened and no one wanted to take such detailed challenges I made out of the ideas, so I started to write them myself. Thanks to Sigma for beta-ing.

Feedback: Send them to me.

*****

The Powers, the Elders or whoever is in charge up there screwed up royally when they called Faith as the next slayer.

*****

It was midnight. The guards had made their last rounds hours ago and the halls were deserted. There was little light, with the moon filtering through some of the windows and giving life to the deep shadows. All the inmates were locked up in their cells and were asleep...except me.

My name's Faith. That night, I was all by myself and I was still awake at this late hour, not being able to sleep, for what would take place tomorrow. I lay on my bed, my fingers laced behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling lost in my thoughts.

Only nine hours to go till I'd be released and I would finally leave this place for good.

They couldn’t hold me any longer; there wasn't a scrap of evidence linking me to any crime I'd committed. The Mayor had made sure of that.

*****

During the six months I'd been a 'guest of the state,' I'd had a lot of free time. They locked me up in my cell nearly all the time, day and night, and, needing very little sleep, I was awake and bored for most of it.

With all that free time on my hands and nowhere to go, I sometimes thought about what had happened to me in Sunnydale and what I'd done there. I never allowed myself to dwell too much on that, though, so I had to occupy myself with other stuff. Even training in the gym could only keep my mind occupied for a short period.

Then suddenly, there were a lot of other things to occupy my time. They certainly kept me busy, distracting me from thinking too much about the past.

If someone had told me that I would be able to do all the stuff I am able to do now, I would've said they were totally crazy.

*****

It all started around two weeks into my stay. I'm still not quite sure what happened, or how and why it happened. I woke up one morning and, for the first time in what seemed like forever, everything was clear again. It was like some huge burden was lifted off me.

Everything was sharper around me. All my sense were incredibly sharp: touch, taste, sight, smell, hearing, the whole package. My slayer senses were like nothing compared to how I experienced the world now.

The best thing about my new senses where hearing and sight. In prison, there was one thing I really missed: music. Whenever I needed to relax or get rid of some excess energy, I went to a club and burned it off by losing myself in the music. This prison didn't even let us have radios.

But, usually, some of the guards had their radios tuned to some music station or other. When the hearing kicked in the first time, I totally zoned out, just listening to the music. I can't even remember what song was playing at the moment. That just wasn't as important as hearing music again was.

The next thing I did was try to find out where it was coming from. That took me some time and effort from my side, but I finally figured out it was coming from one of the outer watch towers.

That's when I figured out that I had some new senses. Being able to hear music that far away --right through a couple of walls and all the loud noises that prison life normal had -- was something I couldn’t have done with my slayer senses, and I liked it. A lot.

I also immediately found out the drawback to my new abilities. An idiot of a guard used his nightstick to bang on the cell's steel bars. The sudden sound almost knocked me out, and I lost my hearing for the rest of the day. Before I tried that trick again, I decided to find a way around it happening again. Finding a way around me zoning out and losing track of my immediate surrounding, being caught of guard by any sudden noises, wasn’t going to be easy.

It was a hell of a task trying to divide my attention between all the different tasks. Kinda like patting your head, rubbing your stomach, and trying out your kickboxing all at the same time. In this case, I had to home in on the sound I want to hear, listen to what was going on around me, keep an eye out for anyone going to make a loud noise in my immediate vicinity, and figure out where the sound was coming from.

Multitasking all that gave me this massive headache for the first couple of days 'cause I was using my brain in a total new way.

When I tried my new sight abilities, I was better prepared. I didn’t get completely blinded by sudden shifts in light intensity, at least, although it didn’t work perfectly the first time I tried. I needed more practice, which I eventually got. The same went for smell. I had no interest in being hit full-on by the stench of this place.

But with taste, I made a really big mistake. I was extremely hungry--like I almost was every day--and we were getting hot chili. I was in such a hurry to eat it (you didn't get grub like that everyday) that I forgot to turn my new taste buds down. So, I took my first bite with my senses fully turned on. It was like I'd eaten 100 hot peppers or something. My whole face turned red, I couldn’t breath, and sweat poured down my face as my eyes tried to jump out of their sockets. For the rest of the day I couldn’t taste much of anything or use any of my other senses at all.

Figuring out how to not zone out or get my senses overloaded when I use one of them was my top priority. In a fight, either of them could get me killed very fast.

The basics, I got under control rather quickly after my hearing and taste accidents, but it took me about 6 months to perfect it. And, for the first time, I had to start to use my brain a lot, and it was really different from anything I'd done before.

I know they all thought that I was dumb when I was in Sunnydale. They couldn’t have been more wrong; I’m actually almost as smart as Willow. For some reason, I simply didn’t apply myself. It was like I operated totally on instinct and there was never anybody to encourage me to use my brain or show me how.

My first Watcher was the only one that tried to really teach me anything or give a damn about me, but after her death, I shut down a large part of myself. I didn't want to remember what happened to her.

However, to find a way to control and use my new found abilities, I had to start using my brain again. After all, all my senses are controlled by it.

To see, feel, taste, smell and hear was easy; to make any sense of what I saw, heard, felt, smelled, or tasted was another thing entirely and doing it all at the same time was a hell of a task. To process all the information I gathered with my senses, I needed a lot of more knowledge than I possessed at the time.

I mean, I had a basic base of knowledge 'cause of what my first watcher taught me, but I really needed to hit the books again. The prison library was just the place to go. In fact, it had recently been remodeled and restocked and was at least three times bigger than the one at Sunnydale High.

After getting myself assigned to the library, I began to rush through every book I could get my hands on; any subject would do. Law, chemistry, biology, general science, mathematics, foreign languages, Latin, Greek, history, western and eastern philosophies, mythology, medicine, ordinary fiction, teen paperbacks, all sorts of magazines--whatever I found, I read.

And at night, lying in my bunk, I went through them again in my mind, digesting the information and making sense of the information I'd accumulated during the day. It took me two months to read all the books, although I could have done it faster. However, I didn’t want anybody to find out about my abilities and figure out what I was doing. It was fun and easy--definitely not two words I would have said in the past about reading books.

*****

About a month into my stay, I found another power. At the time, I felt like I was starving. Because of my intense use of my new abilities along with all my mental and physical training, my body didn’t get enough food from the meager meals provided by the prison.

At first, I hadn't really acknowledged the problem, but with all the extra work I was doing, it became harder and harder, till it overrode everything else I did. I couldn’t work or concentrate on anything anymore.

So I lay there in my cell alone, my tummy weakly growling, trying to tell me that it needed to be fed. I was in no position to get more food, so the hunger started to interfere with my studies and training.

So one night, as I lay staring at the ceiling, I started to imagine all the kinds of food I would give anything for if I could eat them right this moment. Visions of pizza, chicken, steak, potatoes, and lots of other tasty treats seemed to float in front of my eyes as they had for the last week or so.

That night, I really wanted to put my teeth into a big juicy pizza with everything on it; I could almost smell and taste the pizza. There was absolutely nothing I wanted more than pizza at that moment.

And then it happened. With a shower of lights, the pizza I'd been fantasizing about was right in front of me, and I could feel the heat radiating off it as I smelled its wonderful odor.

For the first few minutes, I couldn’t move. I just sat there, frozen, afraid that the pizza would disappear. When it hadn't vanished after a couple of minutes, I focused all my senses at it and took a bite. It was so incredible. I felt like I was in heaven as I wolfed down slice after slice. I had just started on my last piece, when I began to think that a coke would be perfect to wash down the pizza. Before I finished the thought, I held a big coke in my hand.

*****

Once again, I had a new power and needed to figure out how it worked and where it came from. But, for a while, I just had fun with it. I would experiment with calling all kinds of things to me. I knew I could conjure up food and drinks, so in the weeks and months that followed my discovery, I ate every kind of food that I could think up. For once, I could guarantee I'd never be hungry again.

At one point, I'd called a blade just when the guards decided to spring a surprise inspection. For a moment, I panicked, wishing with all my might that the blade would disappear. Surprising me, it did.

After the inspection was over, I called it back again and it appeared immediately.

I also found out that I had the ability to move things from one side of my cell to the other. I experimented with a pencil, but I didn't have any larger objects to test it on, although they shouldn’t be a problem.

When I'd just about finished reading all the books in the prison library, yet two other abilities of mine made their appearance.

One of the gangs that ruled the prison tried to kill me 'cause I'd embarrassed them by having beaten up their leader and five others all on my lonesome. For the most part, I stayed away from the gangs, but that didn’t stop them from coming after me. Most of them knew to leave me alone, though. In the first week I was there...let's just say that I wasn’t exactly in a stable state of mind. Three big honchos thought I'd be easy prey. After our meeting, every bone in their bodies were broken and crushed, along with parts of the walls and bars.

I would have ended up in solitary for ages if any guard in his right mind wanted to get anywhere near me after seeing what happened to the three inmates and the room. Considering that I was sent here because I was an insane killer and anything could set me off and send me on a killing spree didn’t exactly make them feel any more comfortable being around me.

They all just pretended that nothing had happened, some good old Sunnydale denial. Or, I think that's what happened. My memories of the incident are really hazy; it wasn't until the next morning I finally began to think clearly again.

So, anyway, back to how I got my new powers: I was cornered in the showers, one against fifteen of them. It wasn't exactly a fair fight for them, but they started it. I really didn’t want any trouble with the guards, so I tried my best to avoid hurting them too badly.

Didn’t take me long to knock 'em unconscious. Not one broken bone in the lot of them, but I'd missed one thing: there was another inmate in the showers. She was a small, mousy kind of girl who looked barely eighteen years old. When the gang had attacked me, one of 'em threw a knife at me which I simply sidestepped.

It completely missed me, but hit her square in the chest. She yanked it out with her last strength before she lost consciousness really fast. Seeing all the blood covering her, I froze. For a moment, all I could think of was Finch. Making myself break out of my trance, I rushed toward her as fast as I could.

There was so much blood. I tried my best to stop the flow with my hands, and when my hand touched her chest wound trying to stem the flow of the blood, it happened.

I was just wishing the wound would disappear, and then *bam* my hands started to glow. I didn't move, being mesmerized by the glow. Before my eyes, the wound started to close itself and in an instant, the wound was gone, and I had healed her. There was no evidence that she had ever been mortally wounded by a knife. Only her blood-soaked cloths and my hands were evidence it ever happened.

I don’t know how long I sat there holding her and listening to her breathing and her heartbeat, not trusting my senses. I hadn’t had a lot of time to think about what I'd done, and quite frankly, I totally forgot that the fight would alert the guards.

I could here them coming, but I really didn’t want to face them. Right then, all I wanted was to be back in my cell. And the next moment, I was in my cell, still holding onto the mousy chick. Not thinking about how on earth I'd gotten there, I wished her to her own cell, and gone she was.

I looked in on her afterwards, and she was all right. I don't think she ever remember anything about what happened in the showers, or how she ended up in her cell.

That night, I made my first trip outside of the prison. I was sick of being confined; I needed to get out, and I suddenly was out, standing on a roof of an apartment building somewhere in LA. It was to crowded and loud, with too many people around. Concentrating on the place I wanted to be, I vanished again.

*****

I opened my eyes to see were I was now and found myself standing on a cliff which surrounded a circular lake. All around the lake were trees stretching as far as I could see, and opposite me was a big waterfall. I could hear nothing, even with my enhanced senses, from any people. I was all alone, for at least ten miles in every direction, the limit of my senses for now.

I just basked in the silence and beauty around me and took deep breaths of fresh air for the first time in a year or more.

Slowly absorbing all the sights and sounds around me, I realized the place was breath-takingly beautiful. Even to a city kid like me that was evident.

The water seemed to beckon me, so I stripped off my prison clothes and dived head-first into the clear water of the lake. I swam lazily around, enjoying the wonderful feel of the warm water. Catching some fish, I slipped back into my clothes, cooked myself a tasty dinner, then headed off the explore the place better.

When I was swimming, I'd seen what seemed to be an entrance to a cave behind the waterfall so I made my way towards it. Quickly locating the cave, I discovered it was perfect to stay in and had a lot of potential. Already coming up with some great ideas I took one final look around, and wished myself back to my cell.

*****

Over the next four months, I made a lot of excursions outside of the prison to the cave. I even got all my stuff from my apartment in Sunnydale and brought them to my cave. Pretty soon, the place looked like home to me.

Sometimes I went to there to enjoy the quiet and beauty of nature or to work on making the cave more homey. Other times, I'd go to cities and nightclubs to have some fun, although I stayed away from LA and Sunnyhell. Whenever I felt like it, I'd find libraries where I'd read books, use the computers, and basically learn as much as I could. I also did my best to buy as many books as I could and transport them to my place.

To keep in shape, I went hunting for vamps and demons. That little activity turned out to be very helpful on one point: getting the money I'd need when I got out. By stripping them of all their valuables and money before I staked them, I was making a tidy profit, although it took some time to perfect my technique. My first two dozen attempts were…. lets say they were far from success, but I got better. After four months, though, I had about a quarter of a million dollars plus all kinds of weapons and other stuff I 'liberated' from the demons and vamps.

Being out there fighting all of the baddies was fun and made me feel alive for the first time in years, but something was different...missing. I just didn't have the exhilaration of the slay anymore, but the powers and abilities were still there. It was like I wasn’t the slayer...er, a slayer anymore. I was something else, but because of that, I was free.

The thought of not being a slayer didn’t faze me as much as I thought it would...which really surprised me. I thought it would...well, I wasn’t sure how it should have felt, but in the end, it wasn’t really such a big deal not to be the slayer anymore. I couldn’t really get myself to feel upset about it.

*****

While I searched for regular books, I'd also been gathering books about stuff like magic, spells, demons, vampires, prophecies, and so on. Since I was still fighting them, I knew it wouldn’t take long before I'd run into a situation when I'd need them. Like they were my major source of income.

Some of 'em I got from the demons and vamps I killed; others I bought at magic stores all over the world. Once in a while, I'd get so involved in rummaging through shelves in search of books that I didn’t have yet that I'd lose track of time and barely be back in time for roll call.

It was such a change for me...in the past, I'd have done just about anything to keep from being in a library or reading books. And now, I loved both so much that I could lose myself in them for days.

My personal library at the cave had become quite extensive, although I still hadn't read a lot of them, especially the magic stuff. I'd never had much use for magic and spells, and if possible, I tried to avoid them. However, one night, I could think of absolutely nothing to do and I'd already read all the normal books I had at the cave. My eyes began to wander over to the case that held all my books about magic, spells, demons, vampires and prophecies.

It took me over half an hour to get myself to stand up and walk over there. I began to stroll down the case, brushing one volume after another...until I came across it. It wasn’t as big as the other books--it was just a small, thin leather-bound volume with a silver ring surrounded by three emerald green smaller rings on its front.

As I touched it, it somehow gave off a different vibe then all the others had. It seemed to radiate power, and its soft leather made my hands itch to hold it. Grabbing the book off the shelf, I stared at it for a moment, then opened it and read out loud the caption on the first page.

I was so focused on the book that I missed how the whole cave was, for an instant, bathed in an intense white light that disappeared as fast as it came.

As I studied the volume, I found all kinds of spells and references to demons and other beings I'd never ran into or even heard of when I was a slayer; the only thing I could even think of that was remotely close to the demons mentioned was the Bossman. Another weird part was that half of the book was empty, as if it was waiting for its owner to add new spells and demons to it.

I kept studying it for a while longer, but the sun started to rise and I knew I had to leave. Taking one last, long look at the book, I closed it and returned to my cell.

As I found out later, if I'd stayed a moment later, I'd have seen the rings begin to glow and move together, weaving an intricate pattern with each other while the silver ring remained in the middle.

Back in prison, the day went by in slow motion. I couldn’t seem to get my mind off the book I'd started reading, and it felt like the day would never end.

Finally, the last round was made and the guards left the block. Instantly, I wished myself to the cave to get my book.

As I slowly read through the book, I realized it was written in two distinct styles: one male and one feminine, although both were beautiful. Once I finished the entire volume, I selected a small levitation spell to see what would happen...if anything.

I hesitated before trying it, though. I knew that all spells could potentially backfire in odd ways. I'd put a lot of time and work into making the cave my home, and I really didn't want to have to do it all again.

I climbed outside, deciding to do the spell on the cliff. Gently setting the book on the ground, I centered myself, focused my being, and started to recite the spell, pouring as much of myself in it as I could.

Opening my eyes and looking around, I didn't see anything different. I rolled my eyes, so much for my first hand at magic, but then something did happen.

As I think back to it now, I suppose I was very lucky that the spell didn’t cause a lot of damage...I don't even want to think about what could have happened if I'd performed the spell inside.

It was a simple levitation spell according to my book, but I ended up with the entire lake about eighteen feet in the air or so. It didn’t stay up there long, but the sight was priceless. It was almost a relief to know that I could do magic, along with all my other abilities.

*****

For the next month, I searched high and low for any information regarding my powers, what I could do, anything about magic I could get my hands on.

I slowly made progress with my magic, although, compared to how quickly I learned to use my other gifts, it felt like I was moving about an inch at a time. Each day, I got a bit better at magic, and my understanding of it grew a little more.

After seeing what I did with a simple, small levitation spell, I decided not to use any spells until after I figured out exactly how to control myself. I really had to be careful, considering that I could probably accidentally wipe out LA. Magic was definitely my most powerful and most unpredictable power.

But, to go back to what I found out about my powers: the powers to move from place to place, heal deadly wounds, and call things to me in a shower of lights--I couldn’t find anything on them. Just some reference to a couple of witches called the Charmed Ones who lived in San Francisco. It wasn't anything concrete, but it gave me someplace to start looking when I’m released. I'll be heading there soon, in fact.

But I did find something more on my enhanced senses: a guy called Blair wrote an article about something called Sentinels. The powers and methods of control that he described seemed to fit in with what I had. Apparently, those powers were genetics.

Now, I only have to find out about the rest of the stuff I can do and the magic...I have a nagging suspicion that when I find the answer to one, the other also will be explained.

So now I’m lying here on my bed during my last night in jail. Half the stuff I did before I came here I can't figure out why I did it, and the other half I can’t get a clear memory of, just bits and pieces mashed together. I really can’t make sense of them...maybe it’s for the best.

I'm pretty sure that whatever's been happening to me has been messing with my head. It can't just be bad memory; I've got an eiditic memory now. Well, at least, I've got an eiditic memory about everything that happen after I began to get my powers, before that is still really hazy.

When did it go wrong and where? When and where did I lose control of mind and life?

Was it when I faced Angel and wanted to die? No.

Was it when I fought Buffy in the church? No.

Was it when I changed place with Buffy? No.

Was it when I woke up from my coma? No.

Was it when I ended up in a coma fighting Buffy? No.

Was it when I worked for the Mayor? No.

Was it when I killed Finch? No.

Was it when I was betrayed by Post? No.

Was it when I dusted Kakistos? No.

Was it when I ran from Boston to Sunnyhell? No.

Was it when I witnessed Kakistos killing my watcher in front of me? No.

Was it when I was found by my watcher? No.

Was it when I was called as slayer...yes, I think it was.

That's when everything starts getting so blurry...being called as slayer must have caused something inside of me to go wrong, dull my senses and mind, and let the slayer be in command.

As I think about it, I slip off into sleep.

*****

The next morning, I gathered the meager belongings I have and was escorted to get the clothes I arrived in. About half an hour later, all the papers were in order and I was escorted to the gate and let out, with the gate slamming behind me with a bang.

Standing there in the sun, seeing no one, I suddenly realized I was truly free.

Then I heard the sound of an engine coming my direction. Glancing toward the noise, I could see Cordy driving Angel's car. She really didn't look happy. Angel must have ordered her to come.

But, damn, she looks good even when she’s pissed off...she's one person I really regret messing up my relationship with. While in prison, I tried my hardest not to think to much about her, but maybe I’ll visit her apartment sometime this week.

I really have no interest in facing any of the others right now, and she's still about a minute or so from me. Taking a last look at the place I just left, I make sure Cordy hasn't seen me yet, then I get going.

*****

A minute later, Cordy arrived at the prison and glanced around, not seeing anyone in sight.

“Where the hell is she?” She muttered, pulling out her cell-phone and calling Angel. “Hey, Broodboy. Your favorite psycho isn’t here.” She said, getting out of the car to take another look around.

“Don’t call her that.” Angel sighed.

“What else should I call her? She is one, you know.” Cordy hung up, cutting off Angel's answer as she stepped back into the car.

*****

I'd wished myself far enough away from the prison that Cordy couldn’t see me, but close enough that I could keep and eye on her and listen to her little conversation with Angel.

“She’s never going to forgive me or even give me a second chance?” I whispered to myself, and a single tear slipped down my face.

I stared at her as she sat hunched over the steering wheel. All I could think was that I'd lost her for good. Finally, she straightened up and I was surprised to see that there wasn't a trace of anger left there. In fact, her eyes seemed to soften. Showing something I never saw there before; fear, sadness and concern. It’s quite for a moment as Cordy utters the words that would change everything.

“Faith, wherever you are, be safe. Damn you! Couldn’t you wait?” Cordy bit her lip then took a deep breath.

Starting the car, she put on her Queen C facade and drove away, never realizing how close I really was.

I actually had a second chance. That was all I could think of as I watched her car disappear into the distance.

This time I was going to do things right!

Disappearing in a shower of lights as I wished myself back to my cave home, I was truly happy again for the first time in ages.

The End...for now

The End

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