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Crawling Loneliness

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Summary: A chance encounter with Willow and Snape.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Willow-Centered > Pairing: Severus SnapeSeakFR1347,3780236,75019 Jun 0327 Jan 04No


Crawling Loneliness – Discoveries
Chapter Three

Willow felt the wind disburse around her until she found herself standing in her bedroom alone. She crumbled to the floor her body shaking. What had she done? She thought distraught and raised her hands, staring at them in horror. A sob burst from her lips that soon turned into a wail. Oh goddess! She had killed again.

She didn’t know what to do, she fully admitted she had enjoyed herself but . . . Goddess what was she to do?

She knew exactly what she was doing just like when she knew what she had done to Warren. There was no excuse good enough for what she had done to Warren and there was no excuse now. Goddess, she had led those wizards to their death! She could have simply done a transportation spell and they wouldn’t have found her but she hadn’t. Instead she had led them all to their deaths like a lamb to a prey. It didn’t matter to her that she hadn’t killed all of them or that all she did was reflect the blasts of curses they had sent her way. She had still known what she was doing and she had enjoyed every minute of it. The rush of power she had felt over her toying with them, such weak wizards, so very easy to crush them to death.

“Oh goddess.” She sobbed wrapping her arms around herself.

Tara she yelled silently I’m sorry, I’m sorry, so sorry. Tears flowed down her face as she rocked herself knowing that her guilt and apologies would help no one.

“I’m sorry!” she yelled desperately hoping that somehow if she said it out loud that it would mean something but even to her ears they sounded pathetic.

Oh Goddess please help me! What have I done to deserve such a fate?

“Willow?” Giles asked through her bedroom door as he opened it, concern evident in his eyes. “Willow!” he exclaimed rushing towards her and hugging her tightly. His heartbreaking at the sight of her, she was like a daughter to him and he loved her so much that he couldn’t bear to see her like this.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “I’m sorry.”

“Ssh . . . it’s okay Willow. It’s okay.” Giles whispered, struggling to speak past the lump in his throat, his eyes stinging as he rocked her gently. “It’s okay.” He croaked, he wasn’t sure who he was reassuring perhaps the both of them but he knew that they both needed to hear those words. If only to move on to another day, to know that one-day everything would be okay.

“It’s not okay!” she shouted into his shirt her tears and runny nose soaking into his shirt and yet he was oblivious to all of it.

“It will be one day.” He told her as he found tears falling down his face. “It will be one day.”

“It hurts Giles! It hurts so much and I don’t know how to deal with it! I don’t know! It would never be okay - not for me!” She cried hitting him in her rage and pain over and over again as if she could transfer some of her pain to him.

“Willow! Look at me!” he demanded grabbing hold of her arms and forcing her to look at him. “Do you think I don’t know what you’re going through? Do you think I don’t understand?” he asked harshly his eyes intensifying with pain, rage and frustration. “I understand all to well. At least Tara died a painless death. Jenny. . .” he choked unable to say anything for a moment.

Willow fell silent, her eyes wide and she realized she wasn’t the only one who was in pain. Not the only one who was suffering and trying so hard to deal with it.

“Do you know how hard it was for me not to grab a stake and stake Angel? For a period it didn’t matter to me if he was Angelus or Angel. He was a monster and I wanted him in ashes.” He stated bluntly the rage suddenly disappearing into hopelessness. “But I didn’t,” he told her. “Because every time I looked Angel in the eye, I would see the knowledge that he knew I wanted to stake him and he wanted it. He craved it so much that to him death would have been a gift and so I didn’t. I wanted him to suffer.” He closed his eyes the pain was growing too much for him.

“Giles. . .” Willow whispered hugging him tightly.

He sighed tiredly slumping slightly. “No Willow,” he said. “You’ll have to understand that everyone of us is going through a certain amount of pain. It’s not just you Willow but we all love you and it doesn’t matter to us that you tried to end the world just like it doesn’t matter to us that Angel and Spike (he winced at that not liking it but none the less it was true.) have killed hundreds because we have forgiven them. Everyone deserves second chances and third chances no matter how evil they were and you especially deserve this chance. We’ve forgiven you Willow, we just want you back.”

Willow didn’t know what to say for a moment because she knew she had felt lighter then she had ever before. She had always known that they cared deep down inside but perhaps hearing the words reinforced that fact. She pulled away smiling slightly and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Giles I need to tell you something.” She said her smile disappearing as she remembered what she had just done that evening.

Giles focused his attention to her and she told him, about her being followed, of leading the wizards away from the crowd so that they couldn’t hurt innocents and into the park, of her reflecting their curses and killing some of them. When she had finished her eyes had filled up with tears again and she was struggling to speak through her clogged throat.

“Oh Willow.” He whispered sadly only to have that look disappear into amusement. “I don’t know about the right to kill evil wizards since they’re human but I do wish they could have been Ethan Rayne.”

Willow stared at Giles in shock for a moment before suddenly bursting into giggles. She knew that he was only joking for her benefit but still - it helped.

He sobered. “Sometimes even humans can be monsters.”

They looked at each other acknowledging that humanity can be as cruel and heartless as the demons that roam the night. If not even more so - countless wars have shown them that.

“Now.” He said in his watcher’s mode. “Tell me why these wizards targeted you and what their purpose was.”


With a pop Severus Snape landed outside of Hogwarts school grounds and briskly walked towards the school. He knew suddenly that they had a chance against Voldemort, a chance in which they would be able to defeat him permanently.

The evening events told him of that.

No witch or wizard that he knew could control the elements with such ease, not without spells or wands to maintain control over it. Even then it would be dangerous because the elements were a different type of magic all together. It was so volatile that most wizards and witches avoided them, preferring their lives rather then death.

But her control over the elements (such as the sudden appearance of a mini twister) and maintaining that control, told him she had used elemental magic. Earth magic, so much more powerful and dangerous then the magical energy that they used.

The power on her was incredible he had never felt anything like that, not even Voldemort or Dumbledore had that kind of power. It wasn’t possible for a mere young woman to have that kind of power and a muggle no less. Though he knew that she was no muggle, he also knew she was probably not part of the wizardry community - seeing as he would have heard of her.

Severus stormed into the school his whole body humming with excitement that was easily concealed behind his customary scowl. His black robe whipped out behind him in its usual flap as he stalked down the corridors.

He approached the gargoyle statues that led towards Albus Dumbledore’s office and muttered the password. “Sugar Plums”

He burst into the office and found Professor Dumbledore sitting behind his desk.

“Ahh . . . Severus and what would be of such interest that you should be in my office at this time of night?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes as if he already knew what Severus was doing there.

Severus growled, the old man’s personality grated on him like a nail to a blackboard. “I have news.”

“And what would that be?” Dumbledore asked pressing his hands together and touching his fingertips to his chin.

Severus’s thin lips curled into a grin that looked more like he was barring his teeth. “There’s a woman who could control elemental magic.”

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows. “Yes there are such who could control elemental magic. I believe they are known as Wicca’s”

“WHAT?” Severus asked incredulous. (An expression that did not fit well on his face.) “And why have I not heard of them?” he demanded. The thought that there was a group of people that could control elemental magic out there and have easily been able to defeat Voldemort was difficult to understand. Voldemort could have been defeated a long time ago. The familiar rage that had burdened him almost all his life rose in him like an inferno fire to a wind.

Dumbledore sighed as if this argument was familiar one. “The Wicca’s do not do magic for harm - they only do protective spells. For if they do harm to another it would return to the caster three times worse. The ministry do not like the thought that muggles could be more powerful then them and the rest of the wizardry folk, it’s why we do not involve them with our business.”

Severus stared at Dumbledore his eyes icy cold. “Do you mean to tell me that muggles can wield this type of magic?” he asked in a soft velvety tone.

Dumbledore smiled in amusement at the irony. “Indeed.”

Severus sucked in air through his nostrils causing them to flare wide. “Is Voldemort aware of this?”

“I have very little knowledge of what Tom Riddle knows but seeing as he was raised in the non-magical world I do believe he does. I think it is probably why he keeps his attack to non-magical families that are involved with the wizardry community.”

Severus wasn’t sure what to do anymore. His hopes had fallen from the high that it has risen to the very ground. He had been so sure that that would be the path in which to defeat Voldemort but were they prepared to involve muggles with their business? He knew that the ministry wasn’t - after all, the wizardry community had gone to a lot of trouble to hide themselves. Though it might not have to go so far as to let all the muggles know but still. . . and why was the old man smiling as if he had been given him his Christmas present a full three months early? Not that he bought anything for old Dumbledore but still, the look on the man’s face.

“I do believe Severus that you are completely right.” Dumbledore said calmly, his blue eyes twinkling.

Severus frowned not sure what Dumbledore was going on about since he hadn’t said anything worth agreeing. “I’m right about what?”

“We should involve the Wicca’s or perhaps a witch or warlock that can use elemental magic to willingly help us. I have not thought of people who could use elemental magic in a long time, not since Voldemort had first started rising but then the ministry had refused to allow us to contact them.”

Severus eyes seemed to gleam in their inky darkness making him more sinister then he already appeared and smiled. “I know of someone whom we could involve.” He purred and the fact that he would be able to see the redheaded female again had nothing to do with it.


Voldemort’s hands were currently wrapped around Wormtail’s throat in a fit of rage, his red eyes burning with a hatred that could barely be contained. And at his feet in a prostrate posture was Lucius Malfoy, his Death Eater uniform far from the impeccable state that he usually wore it. His clothing were in a disarray, his body still trembling from the Cruciatus curse that refused to go away even after they had performed the counter curse to no effect.

Voldemort knew it was only time before they would involve the people who could control the elemental powers. He had discovered to his fury that no wizard or witch could control elemental magic simply because the magic they used from within themselves did not mix well with other magic. He growled throwing Wormtail from him - which was not very far because of his physical weakness but his rage was by far more terrifying.

He knew he could not eliminate the witch who had killed some of his men without attracting attention. He also knew that he had to attack now before they would find the woman or people like her.
He didn’t care if his people died or not, they were mere pawns to a game and sacrifices had to be made. It was time to attack the Wizardry world. He refused to wait any longer. Albus Dumbledore would not get the better of him.

T.B.C. . .
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