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La Casa en La Boca del Infierno

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Summary: (The House on the Mouth of Hell) Shortly after the Hemery High School gym is burned down, Joyce Summers dies unexpectedly from a brain tumor. And custody goes to the biological father.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > House, M.D. > Buffy-Centered(Past Donor)SnagFR181264,02368428130,61921 Mar 0730 Dec 08No

Welcome to Plainsboro - Part 4

You people are going to make me blush. Or give me a swelled head. Possibly both! Thank you all for the continued encouragement and feedback!

And fear not - I'm going to get down to the rest of the fun in the next chapter! I just felt like a little more development was needed on the medical half of the mishmash.

I'd like to be able to say I'm going to continue to update ultra-quickly, but we all know how this stuff goes. Eventually, life gets in the road, or writer's block rears its ugly head, or we see something shiny and chase after it for a while. (If it happens, I'm kind of hoping for the shiny. Mmm.)

Although, I did get distracted by something rather shiny for a little while. BtVS season 8 comic, issue 1. HOMG. ::Happy::

But, those things haven't happened yet! (Except the comic book.) Onward and downward for more Tales o' the Slayer and/or Doctor. Backward for disclaimers and missed story. Upwards, if you like birdies and airplanes!


Despite being inclined to do so, Buffy didn't make it to school for another couple of days. All of her school supplies were still being shipped by her mom's lawyer, and she hadn't done any shopping for weather appropriate clothing. And despite the beginnings of father/daughter bonding, there were a few things that House just hadn't anticipated.

One morning when House didn't have to be into the hospital until later, he was rummaging confusedly in the kitchen. "Buffy? Did you go shopping, or did one of my leftovers experience a growth spurt, and now we have a jungle of vegetation sprouting in a glorious new ecosystem dwelling in the fridge?"

The culinary culprit poked her towel-clad head out of the bathroom, having just emerged from the shower. "Yeah. I went food shopping yesterday when you were at the hospital."

"This isn't food. This is what food eats." House's head appeared from around the refrigerator door, "I'm an old fashioned sort, y'know. I don't like to eat anything unless it used to have a face."

"Rye doesn't have a face," she pointed out reasonably, ticking these items off on her fingers. "Cheese doesn't have a face. Neither does sauerkraut..."

"The rye was running away from the grain thresher. I like to imagine that it was screaming. Cheese is a byproduct of something that used to have a face. And cabbage comes in heads. Ergo, it must have a face. You just can't see it," House assured her solemnly. "That's why it got shredded and pickled. Bunnicula had the right idea."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Don't worry. There's plenty of corned beef in the lunch meat drawer, rye bread in the cabinet, cheese on the shelf and sauerkraut in the jar on the door. Plenty of material for you to get, like, colon cancer before you're fifty. Then you and Jim will have more to talk about!"

"I have a lunch meat drawer?" His head disappeared again, followed by the sound of a drawer opening. "Huh. Cool."

The corner of Buffy's mouth quirked somewhere between a smile and a smirk. "You know, it wouldn't physically kill you to eat something green once in a while. I mean, something that started out that color."

"Ah, but why risk it? Preservatives, how do I love thee, let me count the ways..." In short order, sandwich ingredients were being assembled into a cohesive unit.

"Hey. If you're not caught up in some doctor-y thing, want me to meet you at the hospital after work? I need to go shopping." Buffy began to unwind the towel from her head, toweling away the excess water.

"A forest of greenery isn't enough for you? What's next? A greenhouse?"

"You'd only turn green if you actually tried to eat any of that." Hah. Green House. Buffy made a funny. Without looking, House promptly threw the closed loaf of rye bread at his daughter, who caught it and set it back on the counter. "School shopping. All my stuff is back in California still. And I don't have anywhere near the winter clothing I'm gonna need living here."

"You mean, like.. mall shopping?" House paused, and began to rummage in his pockets for his Vicodin.

"Duh! I've been meaning to go, anyway. See what they have. We could make an evening of it!" Buffy returned to the bathroom and began to blow dry her hair, "Do some shopping, have dinner at the food court, maybe see a movie." She wanted to do something away from the house and try to get to know her father better, after all. Although, maybe it was a little girly. "Is there any place you like in the mall?"

No answer. Buffy turned off the hair dryer. "Dad?" She emerged curiously from the bathroom again. Why were his cane and keys gone? Hey, a note on the fridge.

Got called in. See you after work.

"Hrm. Guess he didn't hear me. I'll call him later," she decided, resuming her morning routine.

Buffy had just gotten done with cleaning up the mess that House left on the counter, when there was a rap on the door. Opening the door revealed..

"Hi, Buffy!" Cameron greeted brightly. "House sent us over... he said you needed to do something?" Also in attendance was Dr. Chase, who looked faintly bemused as to why he had been dragged along.

Buffy's mouth twisted in amused annoyance. "That wuss." She couldn't believe he ran away at the thought of shopping. Oh well. At least he was thoughtful enough to provide a gal pal to shop with, and a cute, Australian pack mule as an added bonus!

Poor Chase never knew what hit him.


"I can't believe you so totally ran away like a sissy girl just because I mentioned the mall." Buffy scoffed the next morning, as House was driving her for her first day at Plainsboro High.

House shook his head. "I didn't run. I limped. Then I drove. Then I took a nap in my office."

"Not gonna logic your way out of this one, buster. You completely bailed!" She insisted.

"I delegated. It's not like I could do all that walking, right? And what'm I going to help carry? It might be funny to watch a cripple try and lug around a Santa's sled worth of clothing, but it's much less fun to actually play the part of the gimp." House gave her a pointed glance.

"We could've gotten one of those cart deals. Face it. You. Chickened. Out." Buffy huffed playfully and turned her head as if the matter was settled, looking out the window as the school drew closer.

"I assigned people better suited to the task. Hey, look. You're at school." Now that was a handy way to derail the conversation. And here comes another. "By the way... in case something happens.. here." House fished into his coat pocket and dropped a cell phone in Buffy's lap.

"Oh, hey. Always wanted to get one of these. My.. er.. Hank. He wouldn't let me get one. Said I spent too much time on the phone," she murmured, at once a little touched and kind of sad. She hadn't meant to think of her mom, but there were just these times...

"I love these things. Home phones are highly overrated. Want to know why?"

"Dazzle me with your wisdom, paternal unit."

"Because.. you can turn a cell phone off if you don't want to talk to anyone." With the air of someone dispensing wisdom from a mountaintop, House gave her a sage nod.

Snorting softly, Buffy investigated the phone for a few moments before tucking it away in her bag. "Thank you." She replied dryly. "Have a good day avoiding work."

"Have fun sleeping in class," he retorted, then paused. "Maybe we could do the movie thing. After work. I haven't been in a while."

Buffy froze as she was about to exit the car, and slowly smiled. "That'd be nice."

After a few moments' thought, House had one final bit of encouragement to add, "And if you get the urge to burn down any buildings, call me first. I know people. We can arrange some exciting alibis."

"Well, call me if you feel like spitting on any more surgeons. I can send a taxi to come pick you up, so you can hide from Cuddy." Giving House a bright smile, she hopped out of the car and began to make her way into the building.

House watched as her walking caused a young man to run himself and his skateboard directly into a metal stair rail. He couldn't blame the boy. After all, she came equipped with some outstanding genetics, as he recalled from his college days. Smirking slightly, House pulled away and headed for the hospital.
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