Wizards are weird
Harry Potter and the Watchers CouncilFrom Chapter 1:
After the shock wore off and Giles was able to herd Xander back into his office, he sat behind his desk and took a large envelope out of his drawer and slid it across to his guest.
“These came about a week ago, delivered by Owl if you believe it. The first is apparently from a bank that Willow has ascertained is run by Goblins and which apparently has some business with you. When we learned of them, we began a correspondence with them and learned that a large amount of the Watcher’s Councils funds that we had been unable to find is actually maintained by them so we want to let you be our representative to them when you learn what they want. Also we received a letter from a very powerful wizard who had learned of our reorganization, so to speak, and decided to ask us for a favor. When we learned what he had to tell us, we decided it was something that you could also do for us.”
“And just what is it he wants?” asked Xander.
“To offer you a job,” Giles replied. “But to also ask for your help with an organization he heads that is currently at war with a dark wizard named Voldemort. But let him make that offer to you in person.” He then touched a small glass orb on his desk which glowed blue for a moment.
“Greetings Mr. Giles,” an old man wearing light blue robes with stars and moons embroidered onto them asked from behind them. Xander whirled about in alarm as the old man continued. “Ah, I believe this must be Mr. Harris then. Hello, my name is Albus Dumbledore.”Chapter 2: Wizards are weird
“Great googly moogly,” Xander exclaimed. “Don’t do that.”
“I am sorry Mr. Harris, I didn’t mean to alarm you,” Dumbledore said as he took a seat next to him. “I merely responded to Mr. Giles’ letting me know that you were here.”
“Well, okay, but seriously you shouldn’t just appear behind people like that.”
“Xander,” Giles sighed as he wiped his glasses again, “this is Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the preeminent school of magic in the United Kingdom.”
Xander thought about that for a second before commenting, “Huh, does that mean that Willow should have been invited to a school before her magic went kerplooey?”
“If I may,” Dumbledore interrupted. “Boca del Infierno was a sort of no-mans land that was kept under a strict hands off policy by the North American Ministry of Magic. They were unable to detect any witches born there and had come to an agreement sometime in the early 1900’s with a Richard Wilkins that they would not interfere unless he notified them that a witch had been born there.”
“Ha!” laughed Xander. “Good move there, making an agreement with Mayor McSnake.”
“Hmm, yes, that was a foolish decision in hindsight. But they really didn’t know of his inclination to ascend to demonic status.”
“Okay,” Xander sighed. “So what brought us to your attention and what do you want with the normal guy?”
“Xander,” Giles began before he was interrupted.
“No Mr. Giles, it should be I who explains,” Dumbledore said as he looked at Xander. “I had heard rumors of the Watcher’s Council for many years and had seen little proof of its existence until this year when I saw a pair of Slayers fight a pack of vampires in a park in London. I approached the girls and quickly learned just who they were and who they fought for. I contacted Mr. Giles about possibly getting someone from the Council who could teach Defense against the Dark Arts for me next term but he informed me that you don’t have any wanded magic users available. But, when he learned I was also in need of a new Caretaker for the castle, he recommended you as you had experience in fixing things that are in need of it.”
“Well, before Sunnydale became a sinkhole I was promoted to foreman at the construction company I had been working for.” Xander mused aloud.
“There, you see, eminently qualified. And as a bonus we can do something about your eye as well.”
“What?” both Xander and Giles blurted out in shock.
“Yes, we have magic eyes that can restore your eyesight. In fact, a friend of mine named Alastor Moody, has an eye that lets him see through walls and such. It’s quite fun in fact.”
Giles immediately looked at Xander with a stern expression and said, “We never tell the girls about that.”
“Aye, aye Captain,” agreed Xander with a shudder at the thought of them knowing. “But getting back to your job offer, where is your school?”
Dumbledore smiled as he replied, “It’s in northern Scotland near the village of Hogsmeade.”
“Okay, what else will I be doing besides this job? Giles mentioned an organization fighting against the Dark Mojo Tosser.”
“Yes, Voldemort,” Dumbledore sighed. “He was a promising student who turned to the Dark Arts and became so twisted through many rituals that he can’t even really be called human these days. He and his Death Eaters, his followers if you will, are trying to overthrow the legitimate government and impose his rule along with their twisted ideology about Blood Purity.”
“Blood Purity, like Hitler?” Xander asked.
“Yes, the belief that only Pure Bloods belong in control of our society.” Dumbledore explained.
“Hmm,” Xander thought for a moment, “that sounds like a case of the hillbillies from the Hills have Eyes running your government.”
Dumbledore laughed aloud. “Exactly, and what’s worse, he’s not a pure blood himself.”
“Figures,” snorted Xander. “And I bet he’s pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes too.”
“For the most part, I would have to agree.”
“And his rich followers are bribing and blackmailing their little hearts out as well?” Xander inquired.
“That would also be true although his most trusted rich supporter just got caught while on a raid.” Dumbledore pointed out.
“That wouldn’t stop him for long, he still has influence merely because he has successfully bribed people before and it’s in their best interest not to squeal if he threatened to release that information.” Xander thought out loud.
“Hmm,” Dumbledore thought for a moment, “unfortunately that does make a certain sense.”
“Well, we can talk about that later,” Xander said. “For now you want to hire me as a Caretaker for your magic school, with a hiring incentive of possibly giving me an artificial eye and helping your little insurgency against the Dark Guy, right?”
“Exactly Mr. Harris,” the wizard replied.
“I’ll have to think about that as well as weigh that against whatever my next assignment for the Council might have been,” Xander pointed out.
“In that case Mr. Harris, I hope you will contact me before the week is out.”
“Sure,” Xander said, “You can send me any pertinent information concerning this Voldemort fellow, his movement and, if you could, a bit about how your society works and after I’ve read it, I should have everything figured out and contact you.”
“Of course, good day Mr. Harris, Mr. Giles,” Dumbledore said as he apparated out of the office.
Xander and Giles looked at each other before Xander said, “We definitely need to work at warding against that.”IIII
After apparating from Council Headquarters, Albus Dumbledore felt more optimistic about obtaining the services of Mr. Harris as the Caretaker for the new term. He was extremely disappointed in Filch’s decision to follow the arrogant Dolores Umbridge in her reign of terror at Hogwarts after he had fled the Ministry. Getting permission to use corporeal punishment on his students was the straw that broke the camels back for Albus. He couldn’t in good conscious allow Argus to remain. It was bad enough he had to tolerate the excesses of Severus and Sybil for the greater good although from what he had heard from Miss Granger, he might have allowed Severus too much leeway in his interactions with Harry this past year, especially trusting him to be able to put aside his loathing for the good of all in his instruction of Occlumency to the boy. From her tales, it seemed that Severus may have used those lessons to abuse the poor boy and if it was true he may have to do something he didn’t want to. Perhaps it was time to convince Horace to return to Hogwarts to teach Potions again.
Albus only hoped that his next appointment would go as well or better. Amelia Bones may finally allow a currently serving Auror to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts now that Voldemort had finally shown himself to the Ministry and she could use that argument against Cornelius Fudge. Of course, after his actions of the past year became fully known to the public, it was merely a matter of time before he was ousted from office.IIII
Xander sighed as he pushed a pile of parchment away and considered what he had been reading. This Voldemort character was certainly out of his mind but seemed to be a little too firmly entrenched in Wizarding society. Their base discrimination against non-magic users as well as those magic-users who were born to mundane parents was to blame for many of their problems. Of course, making them see that was the challenge.
Pulling a soda out of the mini-fridge beside his desk, he took a long sip as he also thought about the Caretaker position Dumbledore wanted him to take at Hogwarts. It seemed simple enough. Just make any necessary repairs as well as cleaning with the aid of the castle’s servants. And didn’t that just take the cake, those House-Elves that served the castle. Weird, but he didn’t mind seeing if he could work with them and see about their working conditions as well. It didn’t sit right with him that they were virtual slaves in the Wizarding World. Maybe he could offer some a chance to help out with the Council, the girls would probably have enough for a legion of them.
Then there was the matter of Gringotts bank and his upcoming meeting with them. He should probably take a Slayer with him as backup, maybe Molly. He also thought he needed someone who understood financial matters pretty well too. There had to be a Watcher or Slayer who could help out with that. Hmm, probably would be a good idea to take Willow with him the first time as magical backup as well. No one would be foolish enough to take them on with her around.TBC