Mrs. Jayne Cobb
Firefly, before BDMPairings:
Mal/Simon, Jayne/Illyria, River/Connor, Kaylee/OMCRating/Warnings
I hired a pack of ninjas to kidnap Joss; he was threatened with hot poker torture and chainsaws so I could meet the real him. I now own all. Thank you.
* * * * * *
Jayne Cobb never figured himself to be the marrying kind. He was happy getting a good rut now and again, but never wanted to settle down. His Ma always sent him letters, asking if she'd ever get a daughter-in-law and he always said it wouldn't happen. Then one day, they set down on Persephone. Despite his hesitation, Mal agreed that they needed coin, and so they might as well take on passengers. Only this time, River would be wearing a cunning disguise and reading the passengers they took on.
Kaylee sat outside the cargo bay, watching for passengers. A couple of men came by, looking to get to Whitefall. Kaylee looked into the corner, where River sat with her hair stuffed up under Jayne's hat, a pair of goggles obscuring her face. The little reader shook her head.
"I'm sorry," Kaylee said regretfully. "But we don't plan on headin' to Whitefall anytime soon." The two men walked off, cursing under their breath. Half an hour later, Mal, Zoe, Wash, and Jayne returned.
"Any luck yet little Kaylee?" Mal asked.
"Naw, had two interested but River didn't like 'em," she said.
"Aw, why we listenin' to the Moonbrain for anyways? She probably just didn't like their pants or something," Jayne growled, stomping upstairs to put the ammo away. It was then that a harried, dark-haired young man in a suit came forward, carrying a large pack.
"Excuse me, are you taking passengers on?" he asked. The man spoke with a crisp, proper Dyton Colony accent.
Mal studied the man, who kept looking about nervously. "Not those who've run afoul of the Alliance. Got enough trouble with 'em on a regular basis."
"Oh no, you misunderstand my trepidation and haste," the gentlemen said. "You see, while my associates and myself have no love for the Alliance, we're in no legal trouble. But one of my associates is something of a billiards shark. She'd been bored with our activities of late, and decided to play a game. She looks fairly harmless and weak, but is quite deadly with a pool cue. So it's common practice that when she decided to play a game that one of us procures transportation off-planet in case she causes an uproar."
Kaylee, Mal, Zoe, and Wash's eyes widened. "Wow, so all those big words mean you'll end up being chase by an angry mob at some point?" Wash asked.
"Yes. My apologies. I'm afraid that when I'm nervous I tend to fall back on the formality of my training with words and become rather circuitous."
"Right, well I don't know if I want to end up having to break atmo in a hurry because of load of angry drunks are chasin' after us," Mal said. The man smiled.
"Oh no, they won't be able to find her right away. She is quite adept at evasion. It's just eventually we would be found if we remain on Persephone."
"Where you headed?" Mal asked.
"Athens, but we're not in any rush to get there. As long as we land closer to Athens, we'll be happy," the man offered. Mal nodded.
"We're heading to New Melbourne, got load of bait for the fisheries." Mal paused and thought. "Fine, we'll meet your friends and if they seem okay, we'll let you on. What's your name?"
"My name is Alexander Giles," he said, extending his hand.
"Malcolm Reynolds, I'm Captain of Serenity, Zoe here is my first mate, and her husband, Wash, our pilot. And last but not least is Kaylee, our mechanic," Mal said, shaking Alexander's hand.
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," Alexander returned, smiling at the crew, but especially at Kaylee. It was then his pocket beeped. Alexander reaching into his pocket and removed a small communicator, inlaid with a small grey stone.
"Yes?" he sighed."She won the game and got into a fight,"
said a male voice.
"How surprising," Alexander replied dryly. "How long until you're here?""Two minutes. Where are you at?"
"I'm on a Firefly class ship called Serenity,
The machine clicked off. Mal studied the man carefully before turning to River.
"What do you think, Little Witch?" The girl cocked her head to the side.
"White knight plays with the Blue King and the Destroyer. Lots of secrets, but they fight the good fight," she said. Mal raised his eyebrows, then turned to Alexander, who watched them with his mouth hanging open.
Jayne came stomping down the stairs again, looking between River, Mal, and the new guy with some confusion. "Passengers is just askin' for trouble."
At that moment, two people, a man and a woman, went running past the ship quickly, then skidded to a stop before joining Alexander in the doorway. Both of them also carried large packs on their backs.
"Alex, there you are," the young man said, not even panting for breath. He wasn't overly tall, with somewhat delicate features and shaggy hair. He looked around the ship, suspicious. "Wow, not the prettiest thing I've ever seen," he said, sniffing.
Kaylee marched over in front of him. "Now you listen here, she may not be the prettiest boat, but I can guarantee you she'll get you where you're goin'!"
The young man sniffed, looking from Kaylee to Alex. He raised an eyebrow, then smirked as Alex blushed.
"Sorry to insult you, I didn't mean anything about how she runs. After all, appearances can be deceiving. My name is Connor Angelus," he said, offering his hand to Kaylee. She shook it, still glaring at him. "And this is my cousin, Illyria Burkle," he said, introducing the willowy brunette who stood to his right.
"Please to meet you," Mal offered with a nod of his head. The girl seemed so sweet in her flowery dress, but ice blue color of her eyes was somewhat off-putting. She didn't respond, but cocked her head to the side.
"It will be adequate," she declared imperiously. Serenity's
crew frowned at her tone. Her eyes then moved across the group, thinking. "A strange assembly. An innocent, a jester, a warrior, and a beta that wished to be the alpha," she said, staring at Jayne.
Jayne frowned. "I'm a what?"
Mal studied the group. "Alright. 300 platinum a head," he said.
"Okay," Connor shrugged. "Deal."
* * * * * * * *
A smiling Kaylee showed the guest to their rooms. Connor and Illyria immediately went into their rooms and closed their doors.
"Sorry about how small the rooms are," Kaylee apologized to Alex. He smiled.
"Oh no, it's fine. I've slept in much worse places," he said. "I once had to spend the night sleeping in the desert on Whitefall. Not a pleasant experience," he joked, setting his pack on the bed and opening it.
"Well I just leave you to you're unpacking. I gotta go check the engine before we take off. I'll come and get you when it's time for dinner," she offered, before disappearing around the corner and down the hall. The three passengers remained in their separate rooms, silent until Zoe went down and called them for dinner. The three went upstairs. Mal sat at the head of table, River and Simon to his right, Wash and Zoe to his left. Kaylee sat beside Simon, while Jayne was sitting next to Zoe. They quickly sat at the three empty spaces at the end of the table, Connor in the middle, Illyria next to Jayne, and Alex by Kaylee. Simon wore one of Wash's shirts as well as a spare hat, while River wore only the hat. The group sat silently, watching the visitors for any sign of recognition regarding the Tams.
"Your attempts at deception are unnecessary," Illyria intoned. "I am well aware of you identities but have no need for additional money." Connor chuckled.
"Nice one, Illy, way to be smooth. Sorry about that. She's not exactly subtle," he apologized.
"You know who we are?" Simon asked warily.
"Yes, but as I said earlier, we have no real affection for the Alliance," Alex offered hurriedly.
"Yeah, any government with that much power is pretty damn scary," Connor explained. "Besides, the government experimented on a friend of mine once. I'm pretty wary of any type of government."
"Oh yeah, we're worried about your loyalties instead of how much you want the coin," Jayne snorted.
"As I previously stated, we have not need of further monetary gain," Illyria growled. Jayne looked down at her, frowning. "You should listen to your betters."
"Oh, so you think you're better than me?" Jayne asked, offense clear in his tone.
"If you were to challenge me, I would defeat you and keep you chained at my feet, ready to service me on my whims," Illyria answered, taking a bite of protein. Kaylee's mouth dropped open, while Wash, Mal, and Simon looked fairly green. Jayne just looked confused.
"Well you can't do that," Jayne said, the woman's cold blue gaze unnerving him.
"Why not? She's done it before," Connor muttered. Mal sputtered.
"That's it! No more of that... talk! I'm trying to eat here!"
"Okay. So, how about those Yankees, eh?" Connor asked. Everyone frowned. "It's a joke," he said, rolling his eyes.
"You prefer the Dodgers; home is where the heart is and your home is far away," River murmured.
"What the ruttin' hell you talking about, girl?" Jayne growled. The three guests said nothing. Illyria moved her eyes from Jayne and turned them on Kaylee. She watched, studying the young woman as she ate. Zoe and Mal got into a discussion about their cargo, which was frozen bait, which had led to some stories about a river and a broken boat.
"His body does not warm for you," Illyria said a few minutes later. The table turned toward Illyria, confused.
"Now I'm Captain of this boat, and I believe I speak for everyone when I say 'shen me?'"
"Your engineer's body warms for the healer's form," she stated simply.
"Hell, everyone know that," Jayne added as Kaylee blushed.
"But his body doesn't warm for hers," Illyria continued. The table fell silent. Simon's mouth worked, opening and closing. A smirk crossed Illyria's features. "His form warms for another."
"Illyria, don't," Connor warned. "We don't need cause any trouble, okay?"
"Their attempts at concealment are pitiful and grow tiresome," she declared. "I wish to see the results. I am interested to see the response to the knowledge that the healer's body warm for-," she started, before Connor slapped his hand over her mouth. Blue started to spread over Illyria's skin.
"Ai ya!" Jayne yelped as he scrambled away from her.
Connor winced. "Ah shit, this is going to hurt."
Illyria grabbing his wrist and ripped it away from her mouth.
"Insolent vermin!" she roared as her hair turned blue. Simon pulled River away from the table and could only watch in horror as Illyria snapped Connor's arm.
As Mal and Zoe drew their guns and Kaylee stumbled away, Alex let his head fall forward on the table.
I'm really nervous about this story, but it just popped up so I wrote it. Let me know what you think and any suggestions you might have.