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Xander's Not-So-Ordinary Patrol

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Summary: (Response to Challenge 2394: Xander, the Dragon Rider) Post-Season One Xander's patrolling, thinking, being attacked by a newbie vamp, and- oh my god! Was that an explosion?!?!?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > Fantasy > EragonamusewithaviewFR1311,9360333,3481 Apr 071 Apr 07Yes
Disclaimer: Everything you recognize is either Joss's or Chris's, all else is MINE!
Time Frame: Post-Season One
Pairings: None, just Xander being a trouble/ demon magnet.
Author's Note: The Bunny locked me in my closet until I agreed to write this. I apologize if you do not understand the ramblings of my feverish brain, or if anything is too OOC.


Many years ago in a dimension not too different from our own…

The elf twisted sharply as he ran down the stone passageway. He could hear the sound of a crossbow bolt striking the wall where he had been but a moment before.

They should have suspected this treachery.

There were only so many hallways he could run before he would have to turn and face his pursuers. He was trapped, his only consolation the knowledge that Aelber had made it out. At least one egg was out of Galbatorix's mad grasp.

Turning right at the next branching he was faced with a dead end.

Looking down at the silk-covered egg in his arms, the elf murmured a few words in a language forgotten by all but the madmen and sorcerers of his world.

The guards saw only a fleeting look of shock upon the elf's features before suddenly there was a flash of light.

When their eyes had cleared, there was the elf, dead.

But where was the egg?


Alexander Lavelle Harris was not a boy given to hate things very easily. He was blessed with an optimistic world view and would in fact be described by most of his classmates as a 'happy-go-lucky' sort of guy.

All that had changed when he found out what really went 'bump' in the night. The knowledge that vampires, demons, witches and all sorts of supposedly mythological creatures were in fact, FACT had altered his point of view drastically. His eyes had been opened and, like with all such alterations, his came with a price.

The loss of his innocence.

Staking Jesse had been more than just the destruction of the demon that had taken over the body of his much-loved friend. It had been an acknowledgment that evil was real, and it talked and walked and smiled just like a normal person.

The light at the end of this dank and depressing little tunnel had been the balancing awareness that with the powerful evil came an equally impressive good. That this 'good' was wrapped up in an appealingly blonde and attractive girl named 'Buffy' was a bonus.

The fact that he was her 'Xander-shaped friend' and 'one of the girls' was less satisfactory, but he could deal. Being Buffy's friend was a lot like being Willow's friend, an endeavor he had been happily successful in for almost twelve years now. Admittedly being the Slayer's friend involved a lot more violence than he had ever seen on TELEVISION let alone real life, but he could deal, that was OK. He could go on patrol with her, be the sidekick.

The hopelessly-out-of-his-depth sidekick, more Pinky than Robin, but again, he could live with that. Heck, he'd been Pinky to Willow's brain for years before Buffy came along. It was easy to slip into a new status quo with the blonde as the new addition to the triad. So instead of bullies, he loathed vamps, and instead of tests, he worried about… oh, who was he kidding? He'd never worried about tests.

All in all, he settled into this new perspective easily. There were a few things that rankled though, like Angel. As far as Xander was concerned, vamps were evil and were therefore to be dusted. If he was honest with himself, he knew he would have to acknowledge that the real reason he hated Angel so much was that he was angry.

Angry that this broody asshole got a second chance, while one of his best friends was most likely still floating around somewhere in the Bronze. What made Angel so special? What had someone done for him that they couldn't have done for Jesse? Thoughts like these brought guilt on, made him wish he hadn't staked Jesse, so they could have found the curse and done it for him too. He tried not dwell on things like this, he preferred to be content with just knowing that he hated Angel, and that was the way things were.

All this brought him to where he was right now, and the situation he found himself in. Normally Alexander Lavelle Harris was not the type for introspection, normally the deepest thought in his head concerned the unfathomable ingredients on the side of a Twinkie wrapper, but walking through graveyards, alone, in the dark, made a person snatch at any stray thought and run with it.

It had been two weeks since everything went down at the High School. A fortnight since the Hellmouth had opened, under the library, privately Xander thought there was a lesson somewhere in there about people and too much reading… Fourteen days since they had fought off the vampire horde and Buffy had slain the Master.

Now Willow was off with her parents for their annual month-long we-want-to-show-we-care-so-we're-carting-you-off-on-our-latest-book-tour-now-isn't-that-reasonable-of-us? Buffy was on vacation with her dad, and wasn't expected back until the end of the summer. That was alright though, since the death of the Master vampire activity had been almost nonexistent.

Xander and Giles took turns wandering the cemeteries, more to keep track of the level of activity than to actually have an affect on it. Outings like this led to increased knowledge and vastly decreased sleep, hence the rotation.

This week Xander had drawn the short straw and was patrolling on Saturday, the night vamps were most likely to rise, newly-made and ravenous. He was decked out in patrol-gear: cross necklace, stakes in both pockets and a HWP (holy water pistol) tucked into his pants.

He had just passed Gresham Cemetery and was on his way to Bellevue, he had never consciously realized just how MANY cemeteries Sunnydale housed until this last September. It was astonishing how many things you could ignore and eventually take for granted when you grew up with them. Things like death rates, cemeteries, barbecue-forks, PCP gangs, bumpy faces with yellow eyes staring at you from bushes-

'Oh shit,' Xander thought as a the body of what had once been a woman stepped out of the shrubs that lined the path. Clumps of dirt still clung in patches to what he knew, from hanging out with Buffy for almost a year, had once been a very tasteful blue sweater-set ensemble.

"Hello, pretty," she cooed, sharp teeth bared in a facsimile of a grin. Her yellow eyes were hungry as she studied him from toes to tousled hair.

He began to slowly slide his hand down towards his pants. The cross would protect him, but only if she was the traditional type, there were a lot of places on the human body where arteries could be accessed. The fact that a lot of them were covered by everyday clothes did nothing to hamper a preternaturally strong vampire.

She stepped forward, blue pumps clacking on the sidewalk as she circled him. Xander's fingers had wrapped all the way around the handle of the water pistol by the time she was facing him once again. She smiled, her fangs glinting in the streetlight, "You look good enough… to eat!"

"Is there like a post-mortem Stupid Banter 101 you have to attend, or are all demons this witty?"

The vampire snarled and leapt forward, Xander ducked sharply, allowing her to sail over his head as he freed his HWP from his clothing. He barely had time to pull it up before she was on top of him.

"No more words, pretty? All out of jokes?" She grinned briefly before lowering her face to his neck.

"Good quip? How about-" a great flash of light interrupted his panicky ramblings. The vampire's head snapped up and Xander barely registered her look of shock before she burst into flames. With a yowl of pain he tore himself out of the stunned creature's grasp, crab-walking back until the inferno that was once a blood-sucker was a good distance away.

Sharp pain stabbed through his palms and he scrambled to his feet. The pavement of the sidewalk and a small portion of the road was cracked and black, embers and sparks coated the surface.

"I hate this town," Xander muttered. The smell of burned flesh and hot asphalt assaulted his nose and made his eyes water as he studied the scorched ground. The black marks seemed to make a sort of semi-circle.

Rubbing his sore hands together, he debated what to do. On the one hand, Giles would want to know as much as possible about any new freaky thing that was gonna go down. On the other, saner side, was the fact that freaky odd occurrences in Sunnydale usually had freaky DANGEROUS causes.

With a heavy sigh, the dark-haired boy began to walk off the street and into the darkness of the cemetery. It was Abbot Resting, which was a small blessing, as this was typically one of the less 'active' homes for the dearly departed.

He was surprised at what he found: here the grass was now black, a few flecks of bright orange evidence of the strange explosion that had saved him from the vampire. Under the trees, away from the road he could see that the circle he had observed from the sidewalk was actually a rather large crater. He had been lucky enough to be at the edge, thus being spared the worst of the damage.

Cracked tombstones and holes where there used to be trees littered the ground. 'Why am I still walking towards the unknown-but-scary-as-hell danger?' He reached what looked like the center of the destruction and looked around.

"Scary tombstones, check; scared teenager, check; creepy horror-movie theme-music, any time now…" he whispered as he scanned the darkness. There was nothing, nothing at all to explain what had happened except piles of ash and debris from the destroyed tombstones and trees.

Perturbed, he scanned the ground more closely. There towards what he assumed was the center of the damage was a pile of ash that was substantially larger than the rest. He shoved at it gently with his sneaker and was startled to find that in the center there was something solid.

Bending and brushing the blackened grass from the object, Xander was startled to feel a cool stone underneath his fingers. It was soothing against his burned palms when he picked it up. Studying it more closely he could see that it was a rather large rock, smooth and elliptical. In the dark it was hard to make out what color it was exactly, but he could see paler whirls and flecks of a paler shade decorating the strange rock. He flicked it gently and was startled almost into dropping it when it rung hollowly.

Stroking the smooth surface with his thumb, the teen grinned. "I'll take you to Giles tomorrow, he'll know what to do." Cheered at the prospect of actually having something interesting to show the Watcher/ Librarian for once, he began to head for home, unaware that his life was about to change forever…


Author's Note 2: I may or may not continue this, it was mainly just a whim. Like it, love it, loathe it with the fiery intensity of a thousand hot suns? Lemme know!

The End

You have reached the end of "Xander's Not-So-Ordinary Patrol". This story is complete.

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