Der Waffle Haus

Rube glanced up from his cup of coffee to see the three reapers and one soul enter Der Waffle Haus. “George,” Rube addressed the youngest reaper, “haven’t we already discussed this?” He nodded towards the ghost who was absently studying a cuckoo clock on the wall.

“It’s not my fault. Why do you always think it’s my fault?”

“Because usually it is,” Daisy slid into the booth opposite Rube. George shot her roommate a nasty glare before sliding into the booth next to her. “But this time, it’s Mason’s fault.” Daisy smirked.

“Hey!” Mason pulled a chair up to the end of the booth, flipped it around and straddled it. “No reason to go pointing fingers.”

“Oh please, Rube’s got all our reaps in his book. All he’d have to do is ask guitar boy for his name and he’d know it’s your fault.”

“For your information, that was an electric bass, not a guitar.” Mason shot back.

“I play both; no harm, no foul.” Oz’s spirit commented as it drifted over to their table.

Rube glanced briefly in his day planner before turning to the ghost. “I take it you’re D. Osbourne?”

“Call me Oz.” The spirit held out his hand to shake, but Rube ignored it. “Or not.” Oz shrugged.

“I don’t suppose you’ve happened to see any bright white lights lately? Something you feel compelled to walk towards, perhaps?”

Oz cast an amused glance at Mason before answering Rube’s question. “You’re not the first person to ask. The answer’s still no.”

“Hrmm…” Rube didn’t sound convinced.

“Wait, you haven’t heard the weird part yet.” Mason cut in. “He’s not dead.”

“You took a soul from a living man? You know that’s against the rules.” Rube was keeping his voice low to keep from attracting the wrong kind of attention, but his disappointment with Mason could be heard loud and clear.

“No, he died before the soul came out. It was a clean reap up until the time he died.”

“But you just said…”

“I got over it.” Oz answered, as if it were just a runny nose or head ache.

“You got over… death?”

“See! I told you it was weird.” Mason crowed. “One minute he was dead, the next minute his body got up for an encore performance. The ambulance people didn’t know what was going on either.”

“Why didn’t you put the soul back in?” Rube turned back to Mason.

“I tried. It wouldn’t fit.”

“What do you mean, it didn’t fit? It’s a soul, not a t-shirt.”

“I mean, I couldn’t shove the soul back in. It didn’t fit.”

Rube turned to Daisy and George. “Are you in on this joke too?”

“As much as I hate to admit it, Mason’s right.” Daisy said as she waived the waitress over. “It was a clean death, a cymbal to the spinal column. There was enough blood and bone to be a killing blow. Granted, I’ve seen worse, but it should have been enough. The paramedics couldn’t even find a pulse. We all thought he was a goner.”

“Oz didn’t.” George cut in, casting a glance to the ghost as he stepped aside to let the waitress by. She still hadn’t decided what to make of the dead musician.

“Are you all ready to order?” Kiffany the waitress interrupted.

“Can I have some apple juice?” George asked, “Ooh, and some waffle bites?”

“Sure, sweetie. And you?”

“I’ll have a fruit salad, and do you have any white tea? It’s supposed to be good for the heart.”

“We’ve got Earl Grey.”

“What about green tea?”

“We’ve got Earl Grey.”

“Any Darjeeling?” Daisy asked hopefully.

“We’ve got Earl Grey.” Kiffany was not amused.

“Alright, I think I’ll go with the Earl Grey.”

“Good choice. Anything else? Refill on the coffee?” The guys shook their heads. “I’ll be right back then.”

“So the paramedics revived him?’ Rube asked. It wasn’t the first time modern medicine had interfered with their age old system, but usually the reaper could put the soul back, no one the wiser.

“Nope, he just sat up on his own.” Mason answered. “I tried putting the soul back. Right, you tried going back?” Mason looked to the ghost for confirmation. Oz tilted his head in what passed for a nod. “But the van drove away, and left him here.”

“Alright.” Rube took a thoughtful sip from his coffee. “Maybe the shock from the near death experience was just too much? We’ll just go to your house while you’re sleeping, and put you back in. Your body should be over the shock by now.” Rube informed the ghost.

“Right, but that’s easier said than done. He’s from Sunnyville.”

“Sunnydale,” Oz supplied helpfully, “California. We were just in town for the gig.”

“A gig? Any chance your body will be back this way on another gig soon?” Rube asked.

Oz was about to answer when the waitress walked right through him. “An apple juice, waffles, and tea with fruit salad. Anything else?”

“No, thank you.” The reapers politely answered while trying not to feel too disoriented by Oz’s ghost superimposed on Kiffany’s body.

“My lord, I never noticed such a draft at this table before.” The waitress glanced up as if looking for the offending air duct. “Do you want me to see if we can turn the air down on a bit?”

“No we’re fine.” Rube answered for the table; smiling until the waitress had left them. “Great, now where were we?”

“Oz plays guitar. His band is on tour with his body, but not his soul. I’ve had three hours of sleep and this is way too early for a Saturday meeting.” George summarized.

“Hey, at least you got some sleep. I was up with him trying to figure out what to do and trying to call Rube.” Mason shot back.

“You weren’t trying to solve his problems. You were trying to get him to teach you some stupid chord. I could hear you down the hall.” Daisy snidely replied.

“Yeah, well, but only to kill time while waiting for Rube to call back. Why didn’t you call back sooner, huh?” Mason tried to deflect the guilt again.

“I was asleep. Some of us pretend to keep normal hours. You should try it sometime.”

“So when they say someone sleeps like the dead, they really didn’t have you guys in mind.” Oz amused himself with that thought.

“Har de har har.” George glared at the ghost.

“Just eat your waffles and don’t encourage the soul, peanut.”

George rolled her eyes and picked off a corner of her miniature waffle. “So what are you going to do about him?”

“Are you sure you couldn’t go back in?” Rube asked the spirit.

“Yeah, the space was filled. Hrmm, that might explain it.” Oz mused.

“Might explain what?”

“I think the space is being filled by a wolf.” Oz answered.

“A wolf?” George blinked to make sure she really was awake. Did he just say wolf?

“I’m a werewolf.”

“You’re a werewolf?” Daisy asked what was on everyone’s mind.

“Yeah. Normally it sleeps until the full moon, but maybe if there was a vacancy…” Oz shrugged. “The wolf’s in the driver’s seat.” While the answer made a lot of sense to Oz, the reapers weren’t quite so convinced.

“Anyone else thinking of Georgia’s last boyfriend?” Daisy asked.

“My what? I haven’t dated anyone.” George choked on her waffle.

“Oh sure you have.”

“Uh, no, I haven’t. I think I would know.”

“Oh, you remember, the wedding; you had such a lovely dress.”

“Oh I remember the dude! He was the nut job you drugged up!”

“Mason!”

“What? It’s true!”

“He wasn’t my boyfriend.” George blushed.

“Maybe not, but he was a bit off-centered.” Daisy said.

“A bit?” Mason laughed. “He was a complete whack job. Of course, he didn’t think he was a werewolf.” Mason glanced at the soul he had reaped. “Sorry.”

“No worries. I know it sounds weird. Almost as weird as a grim reaper eating waffles.”

“Hey, just because I’m a reaper, doesn’t mean I’m grim. I’m not grim; am I grim?” George pouted, a bit of waffle dangling off her fork.

“Well, if you use Webster’s definition of grim…” Daisy began to answer.

“Nah, you’re not. That’s Roxy’s job.” Mason answered with a smile.

“I’ll let her know you think that.” Daisy answered, watching the smile fade from his face.

“Don’t do that, Daisy, luv.”

“Then quit sneaking pieces of my salad when you think I’m not looking.” Oz tried not to be amused by the antics of the reapers, but it was almost more amusing than Xander and Cordelia’s antics from the year before.

“Fine, fine.” Mason turned his attention to George, “I don’t suppose…”

“Fine, I guess I’ll share; not like I’m hungry this early in the morning anyway.”

“Thanks, luv.” Mason helped himself to a waffle bit, dripping syrup across the table.

“Well, since you’re here. I suppose I should give you today’s assignments.” Rube pulled out his day planner.

“”What? No, I can’t take another assignment. I still haven’t finished the last one.” Mason tried to shirk out of his duties.

“You’ll just have to learn to multi-task.” Rube remarked.

“But what do I do about…?” Mason jerked his head towards Oz.

“I guess you’ll just have to take him with you while I check with the higher ups.”

“By higher ups, do you mean…?” Oz glanced up at what would have been the heavens, if the waffle restaurant’s ceiling wasn’t in the way.

“Don’t ask. He won’t tell.” George answered, plucking the post-it from Rube as she slid out of the booth.

“Maybe it’s just because you’ve never asked nicely.” Daisy retorted.

“Nah, peanut’s right. Mums the word.” Daisy shot Rube a mean glance. “Hey, don’t look at me, I don’t make the rules; I just follow them.”

Rube handed Mason his post-it note next. “Well, Oz, looks like we have a few hours until my appointment. I don’t suppose you’re up to a trip to the record store. I have a friend who knows someone who works there who said they may have the new Jim Morrison in.”

“I thought he was dead.”

“Jim Morrison, James Morrison, whatever.”

“Okay, cool. I’m in.” The ghost said, floating after his reaper.

~*~


“Dude, the phone’s ringing.”

Grrr.

“Dude, can you get my phone? It’s ringing.” Devon risked a glance at the passenger side. Oz was staring at the bag on the floor between them. “Come on man, I gotta watch the road. Can you just answer it for me?”

Oz narrowed his eyes at the offending ringing.

“Fine, whatev’.” Devon reached down and picked up his phone, ignoring the swerve of the van as he glanced down at the caller i.d. “Dude, it’s my brother. You totally could have answered that.” Devon glanced at Oz before flipping his phone open. “Yo?”

“Hey little bro, guess what.”

“Your left brake light is broken?”

“Dude, really?”

“Nah, looks fine from here.” Devon said, wondering why his brother called him from the car right in front of him.

“I just got a call. If you and Oz don’t have any big plans, I’ve got us a gig for tonight in San Francisco.”

“Dude, really? That would totally rock.”

“Yeah, and cut our drive in half. I’m so not riding with Jimboy all the way to SunnyD.” Devon could hear a disgruntled ‘hey!’ from the drummer.

“Oz isn’t exactly the best company either.” Devon glanced over at his band mate, who looked like he was contemplating sticking his head out the window.

“So, can Oz stop in San Fran or does he have to go straight to the ‘dale?”

“Let me ask.” Devon turned to Oz. “Chad’s got us a gig tonight in San Fran if you want to stop. If not, no biggie, but hey, San Fran is so major league compared to SunnyD, and it would really help us out, you know. Get some exposure and all that.”

“Food.” Oz grunted.

“Dude, Oz says he wants food.”

“There’s a McDonald’s at the next exit. I could go for a mcmuffin. Yo, Jimmy, take the next exit.” Chad informed the driver before returning to the phone conversation. “So is that a yes or no?”

“Hey Oz, we’re getting McDonald’s at the next stop. Are you cool with the ‘frisco gig?”

“Mmm. Good.” Oz grunted.

“Yeah, he’s good.”

“Sweet. See ya in a few.” Devon’s brother hung up the phone.

“Dude, Oz, I get the whole tortured artist thing and all, but it was just a cymbal to the back. No need to get all caveman on us.” Devon signaled a turn off the freeway.

“Hungry.” Oz muttered.

“Yeah, and why don’t you get some coffee while you’re at it. A little caffeine will do ya good.”


~*~


Rube paused in front of the door to his apartment. He opened his leather day planner and pulled out his pen and pad of post-it notes. Glancing to his left and right first to make sure no one was in the hall, he scribbled a quick note.

“What’s the deal with D. Osbourne? - R”

He glanced both ways again, noticing that Mrs. Lumly’s paper had already been delivered this morning, before sticking the note on his door. He fished his keys out of his pocket and let himself in. Glancing at the antique clock on his mantle he decided he had enough time to take a quick nap before meeting with Roxy for her morning assignment. After all, it was Saturday and even reapers deserved a lie-in every once in awhile.